Keeping Faith
by WitheringSage
Summary: As official Keeper of the Covenant, Rowan Faith Danvers must now oversee the Sons' Ascensions. And alongside the Sons of Ipswich, they will contend with new powers, new loves, old loves, and their senior year. -Sequel to "Finding Faith"
1. Magic Mayhem

_A/N: Well, we're finally at their senior year. This is the fourth installment in my Covenant fanfic series and we're finally at their senior year. I've paraphrased the actions and abridged some of the dialogue from the movie because I'm pretty sure we all know what they've said and done. I don't plan on deviating too much from the movie's premise, but since Rowan is the Keeper of the Covenant some aspects will have a different view. I hope you all enjoy! :)_

Disclaimer: I own nothing from "The Covenant"

*Mild sexual references herein

**I. Magic Mayhem**

_Double, double toil and trouble;__  
Fire burn, and cauldron bubble.  
-Macbeth_

**_Senior Year_**_  
_

"This one's for turning vampires back into humans," Hunter said.

"I've only ever heard of that," Rowan said. She left her book on the table and went to stand by Hunter who was scanning the Book of Deliverance.

The two of them were in Lucius' old cottage, a place he had built which was protected by magic for Keepers of the Covenant. Hunter and Rowan had been scouring the many books and papers for weeks now since Rowan had taken Hunter here.

"It can only be done if the person has been a vampire for a year or less otherwise it probably won't work or it could kill you," Rowan paraphrased. "Hmm."

It was a thick book and they still hadn't gone through all of it. On the shelves were other texts about various beings – evil, neutral, and good. How to vanquish them, how to undo or cast spells. A few months ago when Rowan had been transported back to the seventeenth century, there weren't nearly as many books as there were now. Keepers had added their experiences and finds as the centuries passed.

"So," Hunter hedged as they continued to read, "how was it?"

"How was what?" she asked.

He chuckled. "I hope you were safe." When she didn't answer right away, Hunter stared at her with borderline shock. "You didn't use a condom, Row?"

She pursed her lips, and blushed deeply. She and Reid had made love for the first time about a month and a half ago, sans condom at Rowan's insistence. "We haven't made love since those…two times," Rowan trailed off. "And obviously I'm not knocked up or I'd know by now."

"It was just those two times then?"

Rowan nodded. "Don't look at me like that."

He snorted. Hunter Mercer was her closest friend, and her Shepherd. Shepherds were an old sect of supernatural bodyguards. Hunter came from a long line of telekinetics; his strength and reflexes were slightly faster than the average human. He was about six-three with olive skin, black hair, and jade green eyes that popped like the finest gems. He was also a black belt to some nth degree and wasn't to be messed with.

"Are you going to the Dells tonight?" Rowan changed the subject.

He shrugged. "If you want."

"Eh. They never last long with the police always breaking it up." Not to mention the crowds got her. She was still healing from her time in the past. Being locked in that dungeon for a week, beaten, whipped, forced to watch her mentor and friend Lucius burned at the stake. Sometimes she couldn't believe that she'd gotten back alive. If alive was what you could call it.

And losing Nana was still a sharp pain in her heart. Rowan missed her everyday.

When their eyes began to hurt they called it quits at seven-thirty. They left the magic area, then made way to Rowan's jeep which was parked at the bottom of a small hill. Hunter was driving so when Rowan's cell phone rang she picked up.

"You just get off work?" she asked Reid.

"Yup. I am free for the night."

Rowan heard him open his car door and shut it.

"I'm hanging up if you're going to be driving," Rowan warned him. She didn't approve of driving and talking on cell phones at the same time.

Reid laughed familiarly. "Where are you?"

"With Hunter."

"You going to the party?"

"No, I think I'll pass for tonight."

Reid made a sound of disappointment, but he wouldn't push her on this. By the time he got there it would be broken up in less than an hour anyway.

"I take it you're going then?" she asked.

"Yeah. But it's early, and I'm starving."

"Row's making chili," Hunter said loud enough so Reid could hear.

"Sweet!"

----

Two hours later it was just Reid and Rowan in her sanctum sanctorum. Hunter had a date with Gabriel, Tyler was with Dizzy right, and Pogue was having dinner with his family. Reid watched his girlfriend as she prepared an assortment of candles and incenses.

"What's this for?" he asked. His appetite was quite sated from Rowan's homemade chili, and he was glad to be off work with tomorrow off.

"Caleb's Ascension," she answered.

Rowan was utilizing what she had learned from Lucius. Keepers were supposed to be there for every one of the Covenant's Ascensions at the age of eighteen. A week prior, it was important for the Son to have the right implements in aiding the process. Ascending was a painful experience, mind and body.

Three different candles were placed before her on the counter, each with runes carved into them by her own hand, and charmed. A peach candle for restoration and rejuvenation. A black candle to dissolve negative energies, they were also used for hex-breaking, repelling or banishing evil. And a white candle, for cleansing and spiritual enlightenment. They were to be lit before the Son went to bed every night for seven days prior to his birthday.

"Am I going to get a goody-bag, too?" Reid asked.

Rowan's smile was tight. She knew Reid was joking but she was trying to do her best as a Keeper. She didn't go through hell for nothing. She had always done her best to take care of Reid and her brothers as she knew how ever since she was a little kid. Rowan loved them, wanted them to be safe and happy.

Reid knew he had touched a nerve. "I'm sorry, Row."

"It's okay," she said, meaning it.

He walked around the counter and embraced her from behind, resting his chin on her shoulder. She had the scent of lavender on her today.

"Really, what is all this?" he asked, wanting to know. He was Ascending at the end of October; he might as well know what the deal was.

She hesitated, turned to look him in the eye to see if he really wanted to know or if he was humoring her. Seeing he was sincere, she explained the meaning of the candles. "The runes etched in will enhance their efficacy. The incense," – there were seven sticks of white incense – "will do something to the same effect. I have to put some charms in Caleb's room, too. And an hour before he Ascends he needs to take a vial of potion to make him feel relaxed."

It all sounded more complicated than what Reid had expected. His father didn't really talk about how he felt when he Ascended. Maybe Reid would get something out of him before it was his turn.

"What does the potion taste like?"

"Rat piss," Rowan answered.

Reid's face scrunched in disgust. "I hope you're kidding."

Rowan smiled. "Maybe. I don't know of any potions that actually taste good."

"I'll pass then."

"If Caleb and Pogue are doing this, you have to, too."

"I'm not drinking something that tastes like piss."

"I was kidding. I don't know what it really tastes like."

"All the same."

Rowan sighed. "If it'll help you, why not? Before you Ascend you're going to go through some hormonal changes. You'll be moody, achy, feel dehydrated - Oh! I forgot."

"What?"

"There's a tea that needs to be drunk at least once a day because of the dehydration. I'll have Cay take some when he gets home."

"So…basically I'll feel like I'm PMSing."

Rowan rolled her eyes. "Might be worse. Lucius said the strength varies from person to person."

Reid continued to watch her work. He liked to, she was beautiful in her concentration. Well, she was beautiful no matter what with her long wavy black hair, light brown complexion that was flawless, thick lashes rimmed her eyes making the irises stand out.

Her irises tended to change brown hues. He called them autumn eyes. Her lips were full shaped and cherry-toned, smooth and soft. Rowan was short, barely topping five-two, but her body was trim, waist curved just so, and Reid thought she had the best ass ever. He would know because he'd run his hands over it more than once.

It made him think of the night when they made love for the first time. Damn, his body still reacted to even the thought of it. She had been nervous, and in truth, so had he. It was the first time sex had meant something to him. Afterwards he'd held her in his arms. He liked feeling her bare body next to his. Then they'd made love a second time.

That was about a month and a half ago, and they had not made love since, but Reid was okay with that. Not that he wouldn't mind doing it again…and again… And shit, he'd just gotten his body in a state that wouldn't ebb without a cold shower.

"Reid, why are you looking at me like that?" she asked lightly with a sly smile.

"Nothing," he said innocently, his intense blue eyes belying whatever innocence he had tried conjuring up.

Rowan wiped her hands on a cloth, and declared herself done. She wrapped her arms around his waist; the top of her head barely reached his shoulders.

"I was thinking," she said quietly.

"Hmm?"

Rowan looked up at him, hesitant and a little shy. "Want to go upstairs?"

----

Reid and Rowan were laying together, limbs relaxingly entwined after making love. Her head was on his chest; his hand was running through her hair, the other stroking her upper arm. He liked the feel of her plush breasts pressed against him, and her bare thigh over his waist.

"I think I might just skip the party," Reid said with a lopsided grin.

Rowan chuckled. "You go." She looked at the clock. It was almost ten. "I didn't know it was that late."

"You have a lot of stamina," Reid said.

Rowan blushed. "Me? That's you."

"Do I have to recap what we just did, Row?" He smiled devilishly at her. "Or should I show you?"

"No," she mumbled, still embarrassed. She wiggled away from him and out of bed with a sheet wrapped around her.

"Why do you take the sheet?" he asked, trying to tug it away from her.

"Let me retain some modesty!" she said with mock indignation.

Reid laughed. He knew she wrapped herself in the sheet because she was self-conscious about her scars. When they were in bed it was okay, but walking around like it was nothing was difficult for her. Adding to the scars from the car accident three years ago were the five lashes Augustus Putnam had given her back in the seventeenth century. They were thin and slightly raised, but still visible.

He got out of bed and followed her into the bathroom where she was adjusting the nozzles on the shower.

"That's the idea," he said.

"I don't think so," she responded. "My skin would be pruned by the time we get out." And she didn't fail to notice that Reid was unabashedly naked. His body was lean and toned like the swimmer he was, his blond hair was askew, blue eyes bright.

Reid's smile grew even wider when he saw Rowan steal a brief glance below his waist. Ah, she'll get used to it, he told himself. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her until her resolve almost slipped.

"Hey," he said when a guilty veil fell over her face, "I'm not going to get mad if you don't ever want to." He made her eyes meet his. "Okay?"

"I'm just…" She cleared her throat uncomfortably. "Kind of…" – she mumbled – "sore."

"What?"

"Sore," she blurted again.

"Oh." He nodded. "All right." He checked the temperature of the water before getting in with her. "I'll make it better." And when they were soaked from the waterfall of the shower, he went down on his knees in front of her.

----

"Call me tomorrow," Caleb said goodbye to Pogue. He walked through the tall iron gates to the Danvers mansion.

It was quiet when he got in. Ernie was waiting by the bottom of the stairs like a sentry with his tail wagging.

"Hey, boy," Caleb said, scratching the German shepherd behind his ears.

He took off his coat and was about to walk upstairs when his mother called from the sitting room.

"You're home early."

She was sitting cross-legged on a plush chair near the fireplace. A lit cigarette was between two manicured fingers and a shot glass of amber liquid was half-drunk in her other hand.

"It's passed midnight, what are you doing up?" he asked, not walking all the way in.

She was in a maudlin, nostalgic state of mind, Caleb could see. He had encountered it more than enough times since his mom had succumbed to alcoholism over five years ago. It was something Caleb had tried to shield his little sister from, but Rowan had been aware, even helped Caleb put their mother, Evelyn, to bed sometimes when she was too drunk to do it herself.

"Just thinking about my baby turning eighteen this week," Evelyn lamented, her voice wispy and stained with bitterness.

_Not this again_, he thought wearily.

Caleb could only stand there while Evelyn told him once again how she had met his father, William Danvers III. How handsome he had been, the most handsome man she had ever met.

Evelyn's eyes beseeched her son from across the room. "I'm so afraid I'll lose you like I did him."

Caleb sighed. "You won't."

Her scoff of disbelief was sharp and low. Her glass hit the silver platter with a heavy clang. "You know these powers you and your friends developed…"

He knew all this. He'd known it all his life and it was crammed into his brain when he turned thirteen, and his mother never let up on him after his dad had "died." She was convinced he would succumb to the allure of the Power, become an addict like his father.

"I won't," he insisted.

"That's the same thing he said about his father," Evelyn discounted. She sniffed. Some of her ire was dissipating. Her head lolled against the back of the chair. "This magic has broken my daughter…I can't lose you both."

He didn't say anything for a moment. "Rowan's not broken, Mother."

She closed her eyes heavily, making a motion with her head that indicated she disagreed. "I won't survive it."

When she turned away from him Caleb knew that was it. He walked out of the room, his head slightly hung. He was surprised to see his little sister sitting halfway up on the stairs. He hoped she hadn't heard what their mom had said about her being broken. By the expression on her face he gathered she hadn't and breathed an inner sigh of relief.

"What are you doing up, Lil Bit?" he asked, grinning.

She rolled her eyes. She was wearing her PJs, fluffy slippers, drawstring pants and a tee-shirt. "Waiting for you, big brother." Rowan stood up. "I have a surprise for you."

Ernie loped after them to his room. Caleb peered at the candles and incense lit, the talisman hung above his bed's headboard. "What's all this?"

"As the Keeper, I am exercising my duty to make sure all of your Ascensions go accordingly," Rowan replied didactically.

He half-smiled. "With colorful candles."

"No, silly, not just any candles." She explained it to her brother the same way she had Reid.

"Mood swings, huh?"

She shrugged. "It varies like Lucius said. But there are instructions. Do _not_ use your powers to light the candles or the incense. It has to be done manually."

He nodded.

"And every day for the next week you have to drink this 'augury of libation' tea. I didn't make that name up," she added. "I might change it." She handed him the hot mug of tea. "Every day."

He sniffed it suspiciously. Took a sip. "It's fruity."

"Is it?" Rowan asked. "I didn't taste it. That's good. Because the potion you have to drink an hour before you Ascend probably won't taste that great."

"Potion?"

Rowan shrugged. "I've never heard of a potion that's tasted good."

"Me neither," he said. He was about to sit down on his bed when a loud dook sounded underneath his butt. "Jesus!" he exclaimed, popping back up on his feet.

Bruce Lee the ferret's body could be seen running underneath Caleb's bedcovers. His furry head peeked out from the top. Bubbe pounced on the ferret playfully.

Caleb rolled his eyes and sat back down.

"So, have fun at the party?" Rowan asked, sitting cross-legged on his bed, fists under her chin.

"It was okay," he said. The pretty blond girl he had met popped in his mind. Sarah, that was her name.

"Who's the girl?" Rowan's head tipped to the side inquisitively.

"Your psychometry is getting too strong," he said dryly.

Rowan smiled. "It's not. You were just thinking about her really clearly."

He drank some more of his tea.

"Well?" his sister prodded.

He grinned, shook his head. "She's Kate's new roommate. Sarah."

"Hmm. She nice?"

"I didn't get to talk to her much."

Rowan's eyes gleamed at him humorously. The corners of her mouth were curled upwards in a faint Cheshire cat grin. "You have this goofy look on your face, Cay."

He snorted. "No, I don't."

"Are thy smitten with the new girl?" she asked in mock jest.

"Smitten?"

"The smitten kitten," she said.

Caleb threw a pillow at her.

----

He woke up with a jolt at two in the morning. He was covered in cold sweat. Less than a second later he felt something watching him. Out of the corner of his eye he saw movement. Caleb shot up in bed and nearly banged his head on the wall trying to retreat from the Darkling lingering in front of him. Before he could take two breaths the specter disappeared in a vacuum.

He waited until his heart began to beat at a normal pace before getting out of bed. Caleb left his room and padded down the hallway to his sister's. He opened the door quietly. She was asleep.

Bruce Lee was completely out in his ferret hammock, but Bubbe and Ernie's eyes popped open when he entered.

Rowan was curled up into a tight ball with her fists tucked under her chin. Caleb had found her asleep like this more than once. It was remnants from being locked up in a dungeon for a week without food or water. Row said she would curl up into herself trying to get warm sometimes.

His mother was wrong. Caleb would never believe his sister was broken. She was the strongest person he knew; even after all she'd been through. Caleb didn't know anyone who had come out of situations his sister had been subjected to and still been able to laugh and reach out to people like she did.

His sister shivered and a screen of discontent contorted her face for a moment like something in her mind was putting her ill at ease. Caleb gently put his hand on her head and stroked back her hair. Her face relaxed. His eyes scanned the room to see if anything was amiss, when he was sure it was okay he checked his sister one last time before going back to his room.

* * *

**Hope that was an okay start. **

**As always reviews are welcome, love to know what you think. :D  
**


	2. The Spider and the Fly

**II. The Spider and the Fly**

"_Will you walk into my parlor?"  
said a spider to a fly;_  
"'_Tis the prettiest little parlor  
that ever you did spy."_  
"_O no, no," said the little fly,_  
"_To ask me is in vain;  
For who goes up your winding stair  
can ne'er come down again."  
-Mary Howitt_

When Caleb got the newspaper the first thing he saw was the picture of a teenaged boy. Dead. He looked just like the image of the Darkling. Why would someone send him a Darkling in this boy's form? It had to be Reid, right?

Caleb went back inside and headed to the kitchen where his sister was making waffles and eggs. She was already preparing a plate for him. A few minutes later she joined him at the kitchen table.

"What's this?" she asked.

It was his natural protective instinct as an older brother to hide this from her. But she already saw.

"Evan Weir," she said under her breath.

Surprise flashed across his face. "What? You know him?"

She didn't say anything for a moment as she continued to stare at the picture. "I talked to him once the day I was helping Reid move back into the dorms. He's two doors down from Reid and Tyler."

_Two doors down from Reid and Tyler,_ he thought. "You okay?"

Rowan shook herself out of her stupor. "Yeah, I mean, I saw him a week ago, that's all." It wasn't as if she had never known anyone who'd died. She'd watch Lucius get burned at the stake; she had once stabbed a warlock on accident, gotten his blood on her hands.

Not to mention someone had sent her a Darkling last night in Evan's form. An hour before Caleb had gotten home. She had felt it coming before she saw it, like hearing a car around the bend before it came into view. Rowan had been in Caleb's room setting things up when it appeared. It hadn't scared her, oddly. She had seen worse than a Darkling, and Darklings couldn't even hurt you.

But it didn't stop the dreams from coming later that night. Evan had been locked in that dungeon with her pleading for his life while Augustus Putnam had laughed maniacally.

_Was it a warlock who sent it to me?_ she wondered. Those assassins who wanted to destroy her for being a Keeper and Whitelighter were still out there, although she had not seen or heard from them since February.

Caleb put the newspaper aside, flipping it over so the kid's face couldn't be seen.

"What are you doing today?" he changed the subject. Caleb dug into his waffles.

"I'm going to work for a few hours," she said.

His brow rose. "You sure?"

Rowan nodded. "I have to go back sometime."

Rowan worked part time at the Drury Lane Bakery. Lacey, the owner, had told her to take all the time she needed and when she was ready to come back there would always be a spot for her. Rowan had become a little bit of a recluse after her time in the seventeenth century. Initially, she had been reported missing and the police got involved. Two months later she had been found wandering on the highway. When Rowan had ventured into town for the first time she was stared at. The people of Ipswich were wondering where she had been. Who had "abducted" her. The sheriff had interviewed her, but she told him she really couldn't remember what happened. It was all she could say.

After the relative quiet of the seventeenth century the sounds of modern day had been like an assault upon her senses. And the people. There were so many people. So many voices. Reminding her of the crazy mob who wanted nothing more than to see her burn.

Rowan tended to calm herself by humming a melody, or staring off into space to escape what was bothering her on Earth. It only served to make her appear more eccentric than everyone already thought she was.

"You can take some more time," Caleb reassured her.

"I know. But it's only for a few hours." Besides, what she was really dreading was the looks she knew she would get at Spensers. She had gotten a taste of it the day she helped Reid move into his dorm.

"All right," her brother capitulated.

"What about you?" she inquired, turning the tables on him. "Other than getting dad's medication."

She and Caleb took turns doing that even though Rowan always visited her father once a week at least.

"We're all going to Nicky's tonight."

"Ah, how could I have forgotten?"

"You up for that?"

She paused, then shook her head. "No, not that."

He nodded in understanding.

----

Reid woke up to the smell of donuts and fresh coffee. But it was the soft kiss on the base of his neck that made him open his eyes. He was in his dorm room laid out on his stomach. He turned his head.

"Hey," he said.

"Morning," Rowan said. Her long hair fell in her face like silk waves. She wore her Spensers' uniform, the skirt an inch longer than was required, and the tops one size bigger than Row's normal wear. It was the first day of school. "Half hour until first bell."

Reid groaned in complaint. He had gone to bed last night in a bad mood. Aaron Abbot had pissed him off last night at Nicky's, and then Caleb the golden boy had gotten on his high horse because he'd used in public to score a combo shot at pool. And he had also been accused of using on Saturday night after the part at the Dells. Untrue.

"Hunter told me what happened at Nicky's last night," Rowan said.

She hadn't gone. The crowd, the noise. No, thank you.

Reid rubbed his eyes, flipped over and sat up, grabbed the hot coffee. "Yeah."

She smiled sympathetically. "How's your back?"

He smirked. Reid had challenged Caleb with his Power, and had gotten catapulted into a wall for his overture. "Fine." It was true enough, he was durable.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"It's no big deal." He took a bite of the donut.

Her brow rose dubiously. She could tell Reid was still smarting over it. _Five…four…three…two…_

"I don't care what he said, I wasn't using," Reid blurted. "I mean, I did at Nicky's, but the night before, I didn't do shit."

Rowan nodded. "I believe you."

He was still pissed though. Caleb had always gotten on him about becoming addicted if he kept using his Power like he did. Reid didn't think he was that reckless with his Power. And when he was with Rowan he hardly even thought about using.

"Don't be mad," she said.

He scoffed.

"Cay just worries. You're his brother and he doesn't want you to turn out like our dad."

Reid still wasn't swayed as he continued to drink his coffee.

"Our mom's been nagging him. And with everything…he just needs us to be solid right now, Reid. That's all. You think he wants to lose someone else he loves?"

He clenched his jaw, then sighed. "I don't like it when you start talking sense."

Rowan chuckled. "That's what I'm here for, though."

"You know that me…becoming addicted, that won't happen right? I wouldn't do that to you," he said.

"I believe that. But I want you not to do it for yourself, too."

He was silent for a moment before nodding. A lot of the things, the good things, he did were for Rowan. She had been his inspiration for getting a job, eschewing his immature ways when it came to relationships. Without her, he felt aimless.

"So, is there peace?" she asked.

He snorted wryly. "Ask Caleb."

Reid and Caleb had always been the ones to butt heads the most growing up. Reid with his spontaneous, sometimes ne'er do well ways, and Caleb with his responsible, controlled demeanor. But for all their disagreements they had never managed to stay angry with each other for long.

"Next time we're all in the same room I'm issuing a mandatory group hug. Effective immediately."

Reid sounded an exaggerated groan of dread.

----

The computer said that the book hadn't been checked out, so why couldn't she find it? She had a scrap of paper with the number code but none of the books she saw were matching up.

Sarah Wenham, scholarship student at Spensers Academy, couldn't get the whole Sons of Ipswich thing out of her mind. Sure, the four of them were hot, and Caleb Danvers certainly preoccupied a place in her head; but there was something else that she couldn't quite put her finger on, and it was driving her nuts.

She was about to give up until she heard a melodic humming from a few rows down. Whoever it was had a beautiful voice, Sarah acknowledged, but the way it was being carried out was almost eerie at the same time. It wasn't loud, but still it carried like a lamenting echo.

_Greensleeves,_ Sarah recognized. _That's what that girl is humming._

Peeking through the gaps of the shelves she saw a short girl; her back was turned so she couldn't see her face. Long glossy hair the color of ebony cascaded down her back. Suddenly, the humming cut off and an exasperated sigh emitted from the girl's mouth.

"It's so annoying when people don't put books back in their right order, Toby," she said with a shake of her head as she rearranged a couple of books.

Sarah looked around to see if someone else was here, but no one was. This part of the library was pretty secluded, and quiet. _Who is she talking to?_

"Yeah, I know," she said, as if she were replying to someone. "There we go."

The girl turned to the side and continued to move the tray of books she was re-shelving. The wheels squeaked, only adding to the surreality of the moment.

"This school needs a new cart," the girl said.

It was so fast that Sarah gasped lightly. The girl's eyes met hers sharply through the openings of the shelves. The girl's brow rose and she pushed the cart over to Sarah.

"Hi," she said.

"Sorry," Sarah replied, thoroughly embarrassed.

Now that she was face to face with her, Sarah realized that the girl was pretty short, but her Doc Martin boots probably boosted her up an inch or two. She had flawless light brown skin, full lips, and her eyes were a very saturated honey-brown surrounded by long lashes. Her uniform looked a size too big for her though.

"Need help?" she asked.

"Uh…yeah, this computer said this book was available, but I can't find it." She gave the slip of paper to the girl when she held out her hand. Sarah noticed faint scars encircling both of the girl's wrists like permanent bracelets.

Rowan Faith Danvers smirked. "_The Chronicles of Paganism,_" she recited the title of the book that correlated with the numbers.

Sarah nodded. Hearing it said aloud made her feel stupid for wanting to read it.

Toby chuckled. "Is she Pagan?" he asked.

Rowan shrugged one shoulder, completely unaware that the blond girl in front of her was noting her odd behavior.

"You're new," Rowan stated, her eyes unwavering from this girl.

"Yeah. I'm Sarah."

Rowan smiled softly. The Sarah, she thought, the girl whom my brother is taken with. Hunter had told her that Caleb had been dancing pretty close to this girl last night.

"From public school, right?"

People had been giving her grief for being a scholarship student, but Sarah heard no judgment in this girl's voice. Her experience at Spensers so far had been less than stellar, she was just grateful her roommate, Kate, wasn't completely stuck-up.

"Yeah," Sarah replied.

"You must be really smart. It's hard to get a scholarship here." Rowan didn't wait for her to answer. "So, can I interest you in something else?"

Confusion washed over her. "Huh?"

Rowan flapped the paper. "We have _The Crucible_ if you like this sort of stuff."

Sarah's smile wavered uncomfortably. "So…this book isn't here."

Rowan tipped her head to the side like a tiny bird. "It is."

_Is she messing with me?_ Sarah wondered.

"There are just better books to read." She sighed. "But I can tell you want to read this one. Okay." Rowan knew exactly where the book was. It was her doing that it couldn't be found. She had put a masking spell on it so it wasn't visible to anybody but her. Rowan disliked the book intensely and thought it should be banned from the school. She bent down and reached behind the bottom shelf and came out with the book.

Sarah just expected the girl to hand her the book and be done with it, but she kept it to herself.

"Did you know," Rowan opined, "that the author of this book died of smallpox," – she said 'smallpox' like she didn't believe it – "very shortly after this book was published?" She ran her finger over the beveled cover.

"He didn't die of smallpox?" Sarah asked.

"In America in the twenties?" Rowan said incredulously. "I know smallpox wasn't completely eradicated by then, but there were treatments that could be given within three days of it that could lessen the severity of the illness. No, I don't believe the author died of smallpox." _Because he didn't._ Rowan glanced at the book. "This book is a crock."

Sarah's brow rose. "Why do you say that?"

Rowan paused before answering. "This guy came into Ipswich and poked his nose into perfectly innocent peoples' business to sensationalize witch-hunting, and make money off of the founders of Ipswich's history. _That_ is rude. I mean, this shouldn't even be labeled non-fiction!"

"You mean the five families?" Sarah asked, instantly wishing she could take that back.

Rowan's face shuttered, then went back to normal. "So you've heard." Her face scrunched with displeasure and resignation. She handed over the book. "Enjoy, I guess." Rowan looked at the books still on the cart.

"Thank you," Sarah said. _Even though this was definitely the weirdest conversation I've ever had with possibly you as the weirdest person I've ever met._

"No problem," Rowan replied. She started to walk away, then stopped abruptly. "Sarah."

She turned.

"Don't let this school get you," Rowan warned.

Sarah didn't get a chance to ask her what she meant. The girl resumed her humming. By the time Sarah got back to her table, she realized she hadn't gotten the girl's name.

----

"What are you reading?"

Sarah jumped. She had been so invested in reading _The Chronicles of Paganism _that she hadn't heard Kate come up behind her.

"Uh…Caleb's family history. Did you know the witch trials started here in Ipswich?" Her mind flashed to the previous page with the spider…the same spiders she had dreamed about.

"Every time I ask Pogue about it, he says it's all nonsense," Kate replied with a dismissive shrug.

Sarah closed the book.

"So," Kate said her voice playful, "reading up on Caleb, hmm?" She sat across from her friend.

Sarah grinned. "I was just… Hey, do you know the name of the girl that works in here?"

"At this hour?" Kate thought for a moment. "What did she look like?" When Sarah described her a tight smile spread on Kate's lips. "Oh, Rowan. What about her?"

She expressed complete bafflement, remembering their encounter. "The weirdest girl I've ever met."

Kate laughed. "Yeah, Rowan Danvers is kind of…odd."

The mirth left Sarah's face. "Danvers?"

"Caleb's one and only little sister. She's sixteen, but in the same grade as us."

_I can't believe I just insulted his sister out loud,_ Sarah thought.

"It's all right. _Everyone_ thinks Rowan's weird," Kate commiserated. "Not really surprising considering what she's been through and all."

"What do you mean?"

"She's like a magnet for bad things happening. Cancer when she was a kid, she got in a car accident in the ninth grade, a coma for three weeks, and last April she was abducted, gone for two months."

"Oh my God. Did they catch the person who did it?"

Kate shrugged. "I don't know. Pogue doesn't really talk about it. But it took a toll on all of them."

Sarah thought she detected some bitterness in Kate's tone, but didn't call her on it. "Are she and Caleb close?"

"Rowan's close with all of them. Like the center of their world," she said whimsically with a roll of her eyes. "Her opinion means a lot to them."

"Oh."

"She's also Reid's girlfriend," Kate said offhandedly.

"_Reid_?" The impression she had gotten from Reid Garwin was that he was a capricious flirt.

Kate laughed. "Yeah. Don't let his whole bad boy thing fool you. He only has eyes for Rowan. No one here thought they'd last, but he's totally devoted to her."

The bell rang for lunch and they left the library. They were headed towards the Quad when the previous topic of their conversation came into view. Hunter, Sarah had met him at Nicky's, grabbed Rowan in a big hug from behind and lifted her off of her feet.

"I thought she was dating Reid," Sarah said to Kate.

"Oh, she and Hunter dated for like almost three years. But he's gay." She laughed at the expression on Sarah's face. "There's a lot of history between them."

"Hey, put my girl down," they heard Reid say.

Reid socked Hunter in the arm and tugged Rowan away from him, laughing.

Kate and Sarah joined the crowd under a tree. Dizzy was sitting next to Tyler, Pinkie was filing his nails; Rowan was scrunched between Hunter and Reid. Sarah caught Caleb's eyes and her heart pitter-pattered when he smiled at her. Kate sat down next to Pogue and gave him a kiss.

"Oh, you haven't met my sister," Caleb said. "Sarah, this is Rowan. Row, Sarah."

Sarah could see what Kate meant now. There was obvious affection for his sister in Caleb's eyes.

"Hi," Rowan said, smiling. She didn't let on that they had met in the library.

"Hey," Sarah replied.

"There's Chase," Kate pointed out. She waved him over.

Rowan had her head turned to Reid when the new guy came over, but when she caught sight of his face her entire body went cold.

"_I will not let you nor anyone else jeopardize my place in this town…" Augustus Putnam hissed in her ear._

"Can I join you?" Chase asked.

"Of course," Kate smiled.

All but Pogue seemed okay with Chase being around. The new guy's eyes alighted on Rowan with interest, and stayed there.

"We haven't met," he said. "I'm Chase." He held out his hand, but Rowan just stared at it dumbly.

Rowan's mouth moved but whatever she said was so quiet no one could hear.

"_Tomorrow you will burn," Augustus Putnam taunted her. "The fire shall lick your toes like a serpent's tongue before devouring you whole…"_

Rowan ripped herself out of the past almost painfully. "Hi," she finally said, but didn't take his proffered hand. "You're new."

"From Hastings," he responded, not put off by her odd behavior.

Rowan was glad she was sitting down otherwise she'd have fainted. Didn't need that happening on the first day of school. She willed herself to be calm. There wasn't any reason why this guy's presence should have such a malignant affect on her senses.

_You're being paranoid,_ she chastised herself.

Reid brushed a kiss across her temple. "You okay?"

Rowan nodded.

"Row, you're still going to touch up my nails tonight, right?" Pinkie interjected through all the hoopla.

She laughed. "Yeah."

"You take up my girlfriend's time so she can do your nails, Pinkie?" Reid badgered.

Pinkie put on his haughtiest look.

"A touch up, Reid," Dizzy pointed out. "It won't take long."

"You might consider getting your nails done, sweetie," Pinkie said. "All of you." His implication included all the guys present.

"Chase might take you up on that," Pogue said sardonically. "He likes Brad Pitt movies, too."

Reid pressed his lips together so he wouldn't laugh out loud; while discomfort rippled through the rest of them. Kate nudged Pogue in his ribs.

"Doesn't sound too bad," Chase said gamely. He looked at his nails.

Pinkie's brow rose with delightful surprise. "Well…"

Pogue rolled his eyes.

While they segued into normal chit-chat, Chase kept stealing glances at Rowan who was unobtrusively avoiding looking in his direction.

"She okay?" Dizzy whispered to Tyler.

"I think she's doing all right," he replied.

----

Rowan was walking down the hall to Pinkie's room when she saw boxes stacked outside of Evan Weir's dorm. She assumed the two sad looking people were his mother and father. The few other students stole glances, but none bothered to extend their sympathies.

"Mr. and Mrs. Weir?" Rowan approached hesitantly.

"Yes?" Mr. Weir said.

"I…just wanted to say that I'm sorry about Evan."

"You knew him?" Mrs. Weir asked.

Well, she wasn't going to lie. "Not very well, no. I talked to him once, and he seemed like a nice person."

Mrs. Weir sniffed. "He was." Rowan handed her a tissue. "I just don't understand how this happened."

_Me neither_, Rowan thought. Without thinking, Rowan reached out and squeezed Mrs. Weir's hand comfortingly.

"Thank you," she whispered. "What was your name, dear?"

"Rowan," she replied.

"Thank you, Rowan."

Fifteen minutes later they were gone, probably relieved to be away from Spensers. Rowan opened the door to the late Evan's dorm. It was dark, the bed was stripped, it was like no one had ever been here.

_More whispers for the corridors._

"Row?"

She jumped. "Jeez, you scared me."

Reid walked in. "What are you doing in here?"

She shrugged. "His parents were here, getting his things."

He nodded in understanding.

"Did you ever talk to him, Reid?" she asked.

"No." He looked about the room. "Come on." Rowan followed him out.

"What do you think of Chase?" Rowan asked as they walked.

"He beat Aaron Abbot pretty good in the locker room after swim practice," Reid said, grinning, just remembering the wheezy breaths of Abbot after Chase hit him in the kidneys.

"So he must be okay in your opinion," she responded wryly.

"I don't know. I saw how he was looking at you during lunch today, too."

"A lot of people stare at me, Reid." She'd gotten more than a handful today.

"So long as he knows who you're with," Reid said, putting his arm around her.

"You know, I'm thinking about getting a tattoo on my forehead with your name on it," she joked.

"That doesn't so bad. I'd like it better on your ass though."

She scoffed. "Yeah, after you."

"Get your name tattooed on my ass?" He thought about it.

"Don't even think about it, Reid Nathaniel Garwin," she warned.

----

It was later that night when the Darkling visited Pogue and Hunter.

"Dude, what the hell?" Hunter barged into his room.

"What?"

"Who the hell is sending me ghosts?" he demanded.

"You saw it, too?"

"Uh, yeah."

Pogue ran a hand down his tired face. "Christ." He picked up his cell phone and called Caleb to tell him what happened.

When he hung up five minutes later, Hunter gave him a questioning look.

"He see one, too?" he asked.

Pogue nodded. "Yesterday morning."

"He didn't tell Row?"

"She doesn't need to be bothered with this."

_But she saw it, too,_ Hunter thought. Could it be the warlocks bothering all of them? Getting to Rowan via harassing her family?

"Caleb thinks Reid might have something to do with it."

"Oh. Like he thinks it was Reid using Saturday night?"

Pogue shrugged.

"It wasn't Reid," Hunter said definitively.

"I don't know." He ran his fingers through his hair. "This is insane."

* * *

**Okay, I hope these deviations aren't dragging too much. O_O**


	3. Blood of the Ancients

**III. Blood of the Ancients**

_It's the blood of the Ancients__  
__That runs through our veins__  
__The flesh may fail__  
__But the spirit 'ere remains.  
-Unknown_

"Why not institute a date night?" Hunter suggested.

Pogue gave his friend a droll stare. "Date night?" he repeated dryly.

He shrugged. He and Pogue were sitting in front of the television eating the spaghetti that Rowan had made for them. As two guys living together, and cooking being neither one of their specialties, they often relied on microwavable dinners, take-out, or Rowan. It was Wednesday evening. Pogue was brooding over Kate's continued "involvement" with Chase. Their books and papers were abandoned to the coffee table in front of them.

"Me and Row had date night every Friday," Hunter said.

"Aren't date nights for relationships on the brink of ending?"

"No. Me and Gabe make sure to have at least one night a week to ourselves. It's a _good_ thing, Pogue," he stressed. "Look, I know you're not the most romantic or articulate guy in the world, but if you don't get off this jealous kick, Kate's going to stay mad."

Pogue sighed. When had he and Kate gotten so complicated? He tried to pinpoint a time but no moment was concrete. So he blamed it on this Chase guy that went to movies with his girlfriend, and whom his girlfriend openly flirted with trying to make him jealous. Well, it worked. It was working. Not to mention he had an increasingly ill-boding when it came to the new guy.

So earlier tonight he had gone to Kate's dorm and told her in no uncertain terms that he didn't want her hanging around Chase, which in turn led to a huge blowup.

There was just something off about him.

"Yeah," Hunter scoffed. "That's what Reid said about Abel."

"And Abel turned out to be a werewolf."

"But a good guy all the same."

Pause. "You think Chase is a 'good guy'?"

Hunter wasn't so sure himself. He didn't have anything personal against him but…

"You think that maybe we're all so tight-knit we have a problem letting other people into our group?" Hunter thought aloud.

Pogue looked incredulously at Hunter. "Have you been watching _Oprah_ again?"

"You know I don't watch day time television. That's you catching the reruns of _Oprah."_

"I was recording that for Kate!" Pogue's face went red. "Some special episode."

He cocked an eyebrow at him. "Do you have to watch it to record it, bro?"

"Shut up and eat your spaghetti."

Like the guys they were they dropped the subject and went back to eating. Pogue brooding, Hunter smirking.

When a commercial came on, Pogue said, "So…a date night, huh?"

----

Rowan checked her watch. "I have to go, the kids need feeding." _And my mom needs checking on,_ she silently added. Evelyn's drinking had been steadily increasing the closer her brother's birthday got.

Dizzy, Tyler, and Rowan were in Ty's dorm room doing homework. Or rather, Tyler was stealing surreptitious looks at his girlfriend; Dizzy made googly eyes back, and Rowan got them back on track. Luckily for her it was Tyler, who was just as studious as her when it came to school, so the night hadn't been completely futile.

Reid had gleefully missed the study session because of work. And Pinkie, who would have normally joined them, was in his room talking on the telephone to some mysterious suitor whom he had to yet divulge details about.

She gave both Dizzy and Tyler hugs goodbye, insisting to her brother that she could make it to her car alone, and left. Most of the doors were closed. She thought about knocking on Pinkie's just to see how he was doing, but decided against it.

"Let him have his fun," she said to herself. "We'll get him to crack sooner or later."

As she was turning the corner to the hallway that led out of the dorms – conveniently dark and empty – she ran into a hard chest, falling onto her ass.

"Oh, God, I'm sorry!"

The voice immediately took her back...

"_You cannot escape this," Augustus Putnam rasped as he tightened the abrasive ropes around her fragile wrists. _

"Get away from me!" Rowan screeched in the present, shuffling back on her hands and feet into a corner, banging the side of her face into the wall trying to get away. That was surely going to leave a mark.

"Hey, I'm not going to hurt you," Chase Collins soothed.

"Please, please, don't…" she pleaded under her breath.

_The first lash seared through her skin like acid. She bit her lip and tasted blood. Rowan wished she could shut her ears as tightly as she shut her eyes to keep out Augustus Putnam's poisonous voice._

"What the hell?" another voice interjected.

Aaron Abbot remembered seeing that terrified look on Rowan's face before. Last year outside of Nicky's when she had an anxiety attack after hearing another car collide with another.

"Get away from her, asshole," Abbot pushed Chase out of the way.

The keening sound deep in Rowan's chest and the tears coursing down her face weren't any easier for Aaron to see or hear this time around. But there wasn't exactly anyone else around except for the new guy.

"Hey…uh, Rowan?" Abbot bent down next to her. And those pained, beseeching eyes locked onto his, touching a normally off-limit area in his heart. "It's Aaron."

"Please don't let him hurt me," she said.

Aaron shot a disgusted look at Chase. "What the fuck did you do?"

"Nothing," Chase snapped back, dropping his sympathetic veil.

Rowan flinched like she's been slapped.

_Augustus Putnam's laugh crackled through her like an electric shock. "Take her back to the dungeon."_

"No!" Rowan screamed.

"Rowan?" Tyler ran towards her. He was able to see the parking lot from his room and had noticed after ten minutes that Rowan's jeep was still there and came down to check on her.

Aaron moved out of the way so Tyler could get to her. He took Rowan in his arms and held her close. His normally reticent demeanor fell like an avalanche and hard blue eyes scoured both Chase and Aaron.

"Hey, I didn't do shit," Aaron quickly defended himself. "He did."

"I didn't do anything," Chase denied.

"What the hell is she so afraid of you for then?" Aaron accused.

"Both of you shut up!" Tyler ordered.

Tyler stroked Rowan's head and put his forehead against hers. "It's okay, Row. I'm right here."

"Ty?" Dizzy's voice came from the end of the hall. She gasped and ran towards them.

"I got her," Tyler told his girlfriend. "Get out of here," his hissed at Aaron and Chase.

Rowan was still shaking forcefully, her breathing labored.

"It'll be all right, sweetie," Dizzy crooned. "Me and Ty are right here."

Tyler wasn't entirely sure what set this off, but it wasn't a normal panic attack. He told Dizzy that he was going to take Rowan home.

"Do you want me to come with you?" she asked.

"No, no, stay here, okay?" Tyler kissed his girlfriend.

----

An hour later Rowan was pacing frenetically in her sanctum sanctorum and no one could get her to calm down.

"I'm missing something," Rowan muttered to herself as she wrung her hands. "It's right there, but I can't…"

Caleb was out with Sarah, and Rowan had adamantly demanded that he wasn't to be called. So Tyler, Reid, Pogue and Hunter were in the apothecary, wondering what to do.

"I knew there was something wrong with that guy," Pogue said.

"Are you sure it wasn't Abbot who scared her?" Reid asked Tyler.

"Yes," Tyler responded. "Aaron was trying to get her to calm down. He said Chase did something."

"Did he hit her?" Hunter asked, seeing the bruise that was forming on Rowan's cheek.

"I think she did that trying to get away," Tyler said.

Reid approached Rowan again, stopped her pacing by holding her by the shoulders. "Row, listen to me."

"I swear it's right there, but I can't get it," she said. "There's five, there's still five."

"Five what?" Reid asked.

Rowan wrenched herself away from Reid. "You don't get it."

Reid sighed.

"He looks just like him," Rowan mumbled. "You guys have a resemblance, but he looks just like him. The same voice," she whispered. _Is it the same evil? The same insanity?_

"Chase?" Hunter inquired.

Rowan winced, a flash of fear wavered on her face. Tears filled her eyes and an expression of utter hopelessness and loss overcame her. "Why can't I get it? I know it's… There's five…"

"What is this?" Evelyn's voice cracked like a whip. She hated seeing her daughter this way. It was obvious she had had a few drinks and her tolerance was running over like her cups. "Stop this, Rowan."

Rowan shook her head helplessly.

"I won't stand for this!" Evelyn exclaimed.

The guys looked at each other. "Mrs. D.," Reid said.

"Be quiet!" Evelyn snapped.

But they could tell Rowan's mother's tone was only making it worse.

"I won't have this consume my daughter." She turned back to Rowan, firmly cupped her head between her hands. "_Stop_."

"It's right there," Rowan whispered.

"Nothing is here!" Evelyn insisted. "Do you understand me?"

Rowan's tears spilled over. Mother or not, Reid didn't care. The silent consent from his brothers bolstered him, and Reid took Rowan way from Evelyn.

"This is ridiculous," Evelyn bemoaned. "I barely recognize you, Rowan."

A sob emitted from Rowan as her mother sharply pivoted away and walked out of the room. Reid held her tightly.

"What's wrong with me?"

"It's okay, Row," Reid told her. "It'll be okay."

When Caleb got home Rowan was subdued, but staring off into space, unresponsive. She was lying in bed, curled up in her customary ball with the three animals surrounding her. The wheels were still churning behind her eyes as she tried to figure out the correlation between Chase Collins, and why he elicited memories of Augustus Putnam.

_There's five,_ Rowan thought. _There's…_

"There's still five!" she exclaimed, crystal clarity overcoming her. But the emotional and mental exhaustion won over and the light of realization dimmed like her consciousness before her discovery could take complete shape. She fell into a deep and fitful sleep as she clawed at the fading light.

----

With his mother in a drunken stupor, and his sister – whom he was more concerned about – in her confused state of mind, Caleb wondered if he should go to school or not. He had periodically checked on Rowan all night while quietly fuming at his mother for saying the things she had to Rowan. Then he had snapped at his brothers for not calling him immediately instead of letting him stay out with Sarah most of the night when Rowan needed him more.

With his mind all muddled up Caleb decided to just get out of bed. It was five am. He had to move a languishing Bruce Lee off of his chest; luckily for him the ferret didn't wake up, just made a quiet snore before flopping onto his back. Caleb rubbed his eyes, stood up, pulled back the curtains of his window. Another cloudy day, bound to rain.

"It always rain this much in Yankee town?"

"Jesus!" Caleb exclaimed. He turned around and Gabriel's twin brother, Michael, was standing behind him with a displeased moue on his face. "What the hell?"

Michael scoffed. "This is the way you northerners greet people? _Merde_."

"It's five am and you appear in my bedroom without a sound," Caleb retorted.

He shrugged loftily.

"So?" Caleb asked, calmer.

"So? Ah, _oui_, you're going to school," Michael said. "I'll watch _pischouette_."

Caleb's eyes narrowed. "What's going on?"

"Nothing. You just need your education. Rowan needs looking after. Here I am." Actually, he'd been dispatched here by his mother, Roz Grayraven. Normally it would have been Gabriel, but his brother was off doing supernatural diplomatic things while Michael had the day off. "What? You don't trust me?" Michael smirked.

"Does Roz know something?" Roz was a seer, too, but it had always been Nana's visions to guide their way, so to speak.

"You ask too many questions," Michael said. "Get ready for school…or something." He left Caleb's room.

Michael Grayraven had always thought the Danvers' mansion to be somewhat gloomy. But who could expect more what with the family troubles that inhabited the place? He didn't mind so much being here as he let on; if it was anyone other than Rowan, who was like a little sister to him, his cantankerous mood might have actually been genuine.

He checked in on Rowan who was still sleeping. The animals came alive when they saw his face. He hadn't seen them for quite a few months. The cat and dog quietly jumped off of Rowan's bed and walked to him.

"Ah, _bonjour, chat et chien_." He knew where Rowan kept their food, and knew their feeding schedules, so he took them downstairs and fed them their customary breakfasts so Caleb wouldn't have to do it.

"Uh…thanks," Caleb said, coming into the kitchen wearing his Spensers' uniform.

Michael stifled a laugh at the outfit. "_Chacun ses goûts._**"**

He glared at him, not amused. "I'm not sure what that means, and I don't think I want to know."

Michael shrugged. He kept quiet while Caleb made himself some toast. "So, there is a new guy at school?"

"You know what? I'm not in the mood for this cryptic stuff, so tell me whatever it is I need to know, okay?"

The Cajun sorcerer tsked. He wasn't as good at this stuff as his brother was. Which was why Gabriel was the diplomat and Michael was more of the…aggressor.

"_Chais pas_. I'm just the messenger."

"Fine." He checked the time. "I'll be back right after school." He paused. "My mom…"

"I'll check on her, too," Michael said, all pretense gone from his voice. He wasn't a complete ogre. "Now, _va-t'en! _Get the hell out of here. Learn things."

He heard the front door close fifteen seconds later, glad he no longer had to make small talk.

"He leave?" Rowan asked.

"_Ouais_."

Rowan was still in her PJs. She was still tired, and her head felt fuzzy. Bruce Lee skittered in behind her and she fed him his breakfast. Her musings of last night were still tumbling around in her brain.

"_Pischouette_?" Michael sat across from her at the table.

"Hmm?"

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"That you guys have to wear those shit-ugly uniforms to school."

That got a small laugh out of her.

----

Caleb had swim practice first thing in the morning. The locker room felt tense to him. His brothers were wary of Chase, knowing what had happened, and so was he. But Rowan had been suffering from PTSD for the past three years, and her panic attacks sometimes led to erratic behavior. And it had only been three months since her time in the seventeenth century; Augustus Putnam was still fresh in her mind, all of that was. But still, what was it about Chase Collins that set his little sister off?

"How's she doing?" Pogue asked Caleb.

"Michael's watching her."

"Michael?" Tyler echoed. He looked at Hunter.

"I don't know," Hunter said. "Gabe didn't say anything to me about it."

Reid was sitting on the bench in front of his gym locker, checking his phone messages. He had left Rowan a text for her to call him once she was feeling better, and that he would see her after school and that he loved her. She hadn't texted back yet.

"Was she asleep?" Reid asked.

"Yeah," Caleb replied.

Pogue made a sound of disgust and they all turned. Chase approached them tentatively.

"Hey," he said. "How's your sister?"

Pause. "She'll be all right," Caleb answered.

He nodded. "Look, I don't know what I did, but I'm sorry I upset her."

"Yeah, well, stay away from her," Pogue advised, "make sure it doesn't happen again."

Chase put an _I got it_ look on his face and backed away, bumping into Aaron as he went.

"Watch it," Aaron snapped.

Chase stared mockingly at Aaron, unfazed by the other's animosity.

They heard the whistle blow from the pool room, finished getting ready and left the lockers.

"Parry!" the coach yelled. "You're up!"

If there was nothing else to keep them focused then swimming would do it. They had all been on the team since the start of freshman year, and their record was near impeccable. They urged Pogue on as he was in the lead, and he came up out of the water with a pleased and triumphant look.

"He's good," Chase said.

"The best," Caleb agreed. "So, I hear you swim a pretty mean free style."

Chase nodded with appreciable humbleness. "That's what they tell me."

"Let's see what you got."

The whistle blew and they both dove in the water as smooth as knives. Caleb was focused as he cut through the water, concentrating on his breathing and strokes. But it was after pushing off and nearing the other side of the pool that Caleb's eyes met Chase's. He lost his concentration and…

"Hey," Pogue said.

Caleb touched the top of his head, waiting for the faces above him to stop spinning.

"Lost you there for a minute," Chase said.

"You hit your head pretty bad," Hunter said.

"Chase got you before you sucked up the pool," Tyler put in.

"He also whupped your ass," Reid added.

He was helped up and steadied on his feet. Caleb didn't look at Chase, he wasn't sure if his face would betray his new suspicions. Chase's eyes had been black, that he was sure of. And he was beginning to think that there was some sense behind his sister's words and her fear of Chase Collins.

----

He couldn't focus all through history class. And when Chase got called out mid-period, the new guy turned and grinned at Caleb; he practically had to will the twelve muscles in his face used for smiling to take action. So when the bell rang he was grateful and relieved.

Not paying attention as he was leaving class, he bumped into an old friend.

"Oh, hey," he steadied Judy Miller by the shoulder.

"Sorry about that," she said.

Caleb didn't have to force this smile. Judy Miller was something of an unrequited love. They had been paired for a Getting to Know You assignment last year in English and had continued to talk after the assignment was over. But the cattiness and gossip around school was intolerable to Judy and she had politely rebuffed him. Judy was about five-five with fiery red hair. Caleb noticed she had lost some weight over the summer, giving her an athletic physique. But he had thought her beautiful even before the weight loss, too.

Since then he'd said hello to her in the hallways, but nothing more. He tried to respect her space, knowing more tongues would wag if they were seen holding an overt conversation together.

"My fault," he said. "How are you?"

"I'm good," she replied. "How are you…" her question trailed off.

Caleb chuckled. "I'm doing okay, all things considered."

She nodded. "I'm glad."

Both of them fell into silence but continued to stare at one another.

"Caleb!"

He was snapped out of the pleasantry by Sarah's voice. She walked up to him and threaded her arm through his.

"Hey," he said. "Sarah, this is Judy. Judy, Sarah."

"Hi," Judy replied. She glanced back and forth between the two of them. "I better go. It was nice meeting you."

"Old girlfriend?" Sarah asked when the red-head was out of ear shot.

He grappled for an answer. "A friend."

"Hmm. Good friend?" she inquired as they walked down the halls.

For some reason Caleb wasn't up to this banter, and was beginning to feel pretty hemmed in.

"So, dinner tonight?" Sarah asked, sensing she was losing him.

"Uh…I might have to stay in," he told her. "My sister's not feeling well and…"

Now Sarah was really beginning to understand Kate when she said that they were all devoted to Rowan. Sarah didn't know anyone who would cancel a date to stay home with a sister that wasn't really sick, but just had a little freak out at the dorms last night. Caleb talked about his sister a lot, too, Sarah had noted. So many good things said about Rowan one would think she was a candidate for sainthood.

"Row's up," Reid interjected. "Says she's feeling okay," he added, smiling.

Sarah saw some of the tension leave Caleb. Kate heard the tail end of the message, saw the same thing Sarah did and gave her friend a _What did I tell you _glance.

The warning bell rang for next class.

"See you at lunch," Sarah said, kissing Caleb on the cheek. She and Kate went in the opposite direction.

"Your girlfriend's keeping you on a short leash there," Reid teased.

"She's not my girlfriend," Caleb said.

"Only been going out with her every night," Tyler said.

"I thought you liked her," Hunter said.

Caleb didn't answer right away. "I do."

They stopped talking as they entered the classroom. Chase was sitting up on the uppermost tier. Caleb quickly glanced away.

_Yeah, there was something off about him,_ he thought to himself.

----

The dawn of discovery hit Rowan like a nuclear blast just as Reid and her brothers were getting out of school. She fed the animals lunch before getting in her jeep and driving to her family's colony house. She didn't say hi to Gorman or go upstairs to see her father. Her feet took her down into the cellar; as she descended the curved stone steps she willed the candles to light, and then so the circular altar in the middle of the room.

Rowan grabbed the Book of Damnation off of the shelf and opened it on the podium so she could read. She found the timeline beginning with Augustus Putnam which branched off into his son John.

Goody Pope's accusation that John Putnam raped her as an incubus in her dreams filtered through Rowan's mind.

"And she had a son…tens months later…" Rowan said to herself. "Hagen." The stark implications of this weighed upon her, because she remembered almost coming to this conclusion some three years ago on her Sunday visit to see her father.

It was the summer after Nana had told her about the prophecy just as she was entering her freshman year at Spensers. Rowan had been flipping through the Book of Damnation…

"The dates didn't match up," she muttered.

And Hunter had called her just as the truth was becoming rooted, and she had forgotten about it…until now.

Rowan shut the book with a bang that resonated throughout the room. She had to sit down because the room was spinning. She mentally berated herself for having forgotten this. If she had known sooner that Putnam's bloodline was still flowing she might have…

Have what? She didn't know why Chase was here. It wasn't a coincidence, though. Rowan had sensed a darkness in him the first moment she saw him. Something unhinged…like the control he should have had over his Power, but didn't. Or perhaps she was just projecting her own fears onto one of Putnam's ancestors. Maybe something was unhinged in _her_ mind. God knew that she felt unbalanced enough. Even so her mother couldn't stand it.

Her cell phone ringing brought her out of her own fractured mind. She felt like she'd been sleeping, and when she saw the time on her cell she realized she'd been down here for almost two hours.

"Cay?" she answered.

"Rowan. Pope, what does that last name mean?" he asked.

Her heart thudded in her chest. "Agnes Goodwin Pope," she said. "I think you need to come here."

----

A half hour later they were all assembled downstairs in the Colony house. Clockwise they sat, Caleb, Rowan, Reid, Pogue, then Tyler. Hunter leaned against the stone pillar behind Rowan's seat like a sentry.

"Why didn't you say anything about the Darkling?" her brother asked her.

"I thought it had something to do with the warlocks," Rowan replied. "Why didn't you tell me?" She glared at all of them. "None of you said anything to me!"

The Book of Damnation shut and slammed down on the middle of the altar. Caleb ran a hand down his face.

"So Chase is one of us," he said.

They all fell silent with the burden of knowledge.

Caleb's cell phone rang. "Hey, can I call you-"

They watched as Caleb's face creased with confusion, then concern. "All right, wait in your dorm."

"What happened?" Rowan asked.

"He put a spell on Kate."

"What?" Pogue demanded. "What spell?"

"Spiders."

"Creation," Rowan finished. "It was one of Putnam's favorites."

Pogue bolted from the room, ignoring all of their entreaties for him not to. They could hear the front door slam from where they sat.

"Let's go," Caleb said.

They needed to catch up with him before Pogue did something stupid. Rowan stood up wearily, trying to hide it. Like they needed for her to go to pieces on them now.

Reid took her hand as they ascended the steps, squeezing it comfortingly.

As they were exiting the house Rowan jumped like someone zapped her with a cattle prod.

"What?" Reid asked.

"Pogue."

* * *

**All right, I hope that was decent and not as disjointed as the previous chapter.**

**Let me know what you think if you've got a spare moment.**

**Thanks for reading and the kind reviews so far. Much appreciated. :D**

**I also put a picture of Judy Miller up on my profile.  
**


	4. How Soon is Now?

**IV. How Soon is Now?**

_I am the son__  
And the heir  
Of nothing in particular__  
I am human  
and I need to be loved__  
Just like everybody else does  
-The Smiths_

They rushed to the hospital after the ambulance with their hearts in their throats. Once again, their faces weren't anything new to the staff at Gloucester Hospital; the only difference was they were asking for Pogue Parry's condition not Rowan Danvers. An hour later with Pogue stable, they stood outside the automatic doors while Caleb tried to talk to Pogue. Rowan's older brother came out like the world was on his shoulders.

"I say we go after Chase right now," Reid seethed.

"It might not be that easy," Caleb said, slapping him on the back.

"Why do you say that?" Rowan asked.

He paused. "Chase has his father's powers."

They were stunned into silence.

"He found his birth father?" Tyler said.

Caleb nodded. "Already addicted. His dad willed him his Power."

"That's fucking against the Law!" Reid exclaimed angrily.

"Isn't the first Law he's broken," Hunter said dryly.

"What does he want, Caleb?" Rowan asked quietly, dreading the answer.

He'd been hoping no one would ask that. Least of all his sister. Rowan looked so tired and worried he didn't want to add to her distress.

"Cay?" she prompted.

"Tell her," Reid said.

Rowan glanced at all of them; they averted their eyes sheepishly. Everyone knew but her! "What?"

"He wants me to will him my Power tomorrow night," Caleb told her.

_And you can't do that,_ she thought. There was no point in saying it. If Caleb willed away his Power, he would die.

He hugged his sister. "Call me if there's a change," he said before walking out.

"Where are you going?" Rowan asked.

"Sarah's waiting downstairs."

"Oh. Okay. How is she?"

"Holding up."

After her brother left she went into Pogue's room and stood beside his bed. She wasn't used to being on this side of the spectrum, the uninjured party. She would have traded places with Pogue in a second if it made him well. Rowan touched his head lightly and he twitched. Her fingertips sizzled painlessly for a second.

"What is it?" Reid asked. Hunter and Tyler came in behind him.

"There's…" She touched Pogue again and got the same reaction. "Oh…that…asshole…" Rowan hissed under her breath.

"Explain," Hunter said.

"Chase put a spell on Pogue. Like a…parasite inside his body that enhances his pain and slows down the healing process."

None of them questioned her. When it came to spells, Rowan knew better than all of them put together. But before she could provide more information, her body went ramrod straight.

"He's going to tell!" she exclaimed and ran out of the room.

Rowan caught up with Caleb just as he and Sarah were getting into his car.

"Is something wrong?" Caleb asked, immediately concerned.

"Yes!" she nearly screamed. Rowan pulled him away.

"Wait in the car," Caleb told Sarah.

Rowan took him out of earshot. "You can't tell her!"

He was taken aback. "How did…?"

"I don't know! But I know you were! Caleb, you _can't_."

He sighed. "She already suspects."

"Then tell her she's wrong," Rowan insisted.

"Row, she knows the spiders are a spell."

"She thinks that because she was flipping through _The Chronicles of Paganism_ on the first day of school," Rowan said. "That doesn't mean you have to confirm her suspicions. Put a mollifying spell on her. It's easy."

"I'm not putting a spell on her," Caleb said firmly.

"You know I don't use spells like that capriciously, Cay, but listen to me when I say she doesn't need to know."

He stared at his little sister in silence. Glanced back at Sarah who was watching them from the car. He meant it when he said that he didn't want to put a spell on her, and he couldn't bring himself to lie outright.

"Know what?" Reid asked, coming up behind them.

Caleb rolled his eyes. "I got to go."

"Go where?" Rowan asked. She blinked furtively, then her eyes focused. "The Colony house?"

Caleb pursed his lips in exasperation. Her psychometry was getting to be a pain in the ass.

"For what? You need to take her there to tell her?"

"What? You can't tell her!" Reid asserted indignantly.

"Stay out of it, Reid," Caleb ordered.

Rowan was losing her temper. "Why would you take her there, Caleb? For what? To parade dad around like a three-headed moose at a freak show? She needs visual confirmation to believe you when you reveal a secret that isn't just yours to tell?"

"You didn't ask any of us," Reid interjected.

"I said stay out of it," Caleb snapped. He turned back to his sister. "You don't get to tell me what to do, Rowan. Got it?"

"My opinion doesn't count at all?" she countered.

"You're taking this Keeper thing way too seriously," he spat, and instantly regretted it.

Rowan visibly recoiled as if she'd been slapped. For a minute the only sound was that of the wind blowing.

"Row, I'm-"

"Fine," she said, her voice a quiet whisper. "Just go. Tell her. Tell her everything. And when you're done you can take her down to the cellar, light the altar, roast some marshmallows and share each others hopes and dreams, okay?" She pivoted sharply on her heel and went back into the hospital.

"That was low, Caleb." Reid glared cold blue eyes on Caleb, feeling like socking him in the face. "What the hell makes you think Sarah can handle this?"

"You don't know her."

He scoffed. "And you do? You've known her, what, six days?" Reid laughed ruefully with a shake of his head. "This is the most fucked up thing you've ever done."

Caleb stood there until Reid was out of sight. He walked back to the car and got in without a word.

----

Rowan went home to get Bubbe and some things she would need to exorcise the parasite from Pogue's body. Reid wouldn't let her go alone with Chase on the loose. They were quiet in the jeep as Reid drove.

"Was I wrong?" she asked quietly.

"Hell no," he said, meaning it. "He deserved every word."

Rowan worried her bottom lip. "Caleb hardly ever does anything for himself. Maybe…maybe this will be good for him."

Reid was already shaking his head in disagreement. "You were right, Row. Don't start doubting yourself. This is not just his secret to tell. If he wants to go nuts, he should find another outlet." And how many freaking times had Caleb gotten on his case about "exposing them"? Now here he was ready to spill his guts to some chick he hardly knew.

When they got to Rowan's house the kids were waiting for them in the foyer.

"I'll feed them," Reid said.

She nodded and went to her sanctum sanctorum to collect what she needed. Rowan retrieved a small handbag and put the appropriate candles, gemstones, and incense she would need. And most importantly, Bubbe.

Before she left Rowan checked on her mother, dead to the world.

"Ready?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah."

----

Rowan put a masking spell on Bubbe so the hospital staff wouldn't see her. The orange tabby cat was very much a homebody and didn't like outings too much though she tolerated them occasionally. Tyler and Hunter were sitting in Pogue's room when they got back.

Bubbe instantly stiffened in her arms.

"It's okay," Rowan crooned, scratching Bubbe behind her ears. "Pogue needs your help." She placed Bubbe on the end of his bed.

Bubbe hissed and her hairs stood on end.

"Damn," Reid said.

None of them were used to seeing the cat so perturbed. Naturally she was very maternal, cuddly, sweet. Now Bubbe looked possessed.

The feline hissed again and Pogue's entire body jerked.

Rowan lit the candles and placed them on either side of Pogue's bed. She took out a seven sphere bloodstone healing wand. It was set in sterling silver with a faceted tip and the other pointed. She placed the pointed tip on Pogue's forehead gently, and when she removed her hand the 6" wand stood up by itself. Next was a double termination amethyst wand point pendant encircled by wire. It would channel the negative energy Rowan planned on expelling from Pogue's body.

"Can you guys stand around the bed?" she asked.

Tyler and Hunter stood on one side, Reid stood beside Rowan while Bubbe continued to man the end of the bed.

"Hunter, hold him down," Rowan said. "I need you guys to chant with me," she said to Tyler and Reid.

Rowan's body relaxed and she began to chant under her breath. Tyler and Reid picked up her words and joined her. The windows weren't open but the flames of the candles wisped as if a breeze were trying to stifle them. Pogue's body jerked after a few seconds. Once, twice, three times. The muscles in his face twitched spasmodically. His back arched, coming off the gurney. Hunter used his telekinetic energy to make sure Pogue didn't jackknife off of the bed completely.

An odd sound emitted from Pogue's mouth. The wand on his forehead vibrated, and the amethyst Rowan was holding over his body was swinging back and forth. A black cloud erupted from Pogue's mouth and tried to spur away. But Bubbe's hiss had it backpedaling, right into the amethyst stone. It made a sucking sound as it absorbed the parasitic energy. When it was completely trapped, the amethyst turned black.

Hunter let go of Pogue and they could see a significant difference in their brother's body. He looked more relaxed, his breathing was easier. Bubbe moved up to Pogue's head and licked his cheek, meowing softly while nuzzling him with her nose.

"Bubbe approved," Reid deadpanned.

----

They decided it was best for them to sleep under the same roof for the night, or until this thing with Chase was over. Rowan's mom was still unconscious when they got home at six in the morning. Caleb came downstairs when he heard the door open.

"How's Pogue?" he asked.

"Row took out the parasite Chase planted in him," Tyler said. "He'll be fine."

Caleb nodded. His sister avoided his eyes. He didn't blame her for still being mad at him.

"So, where's Sarah?" Reid asked snidely.

"Upstairs sleeping," he replied.

"So you told her," Hunter said. "How'd she take it?"

"She was pretty good about it."

Rowan ignored them all, heading upstairs with the three animals at her side. Every step felt hard to climb but finally she made it to her bedroom. The dregs of negative energy clung to the fibers of her clothes. She shucked them off in the bathroom and took a hot shower. Reid was lounging on her bed when she came out in her robe.

"Not tired?" she asked.

"I was waiting for you." He held up his hands innocently. "Just to sleep, I promise."

Rowan chuckled. Too fatigued to be modest she got dressed in her PJs in front of Reid, feeling his eyes on her the entire time. She combed her hair and braided it before slipping under the covers with him. He spooned her close, holding her tight. The animals jostled the bed when they jumped on and got themselves settled.

"I guess I'll have to get used to this," Reid said.

"Used to what?"

"Sharing a bed with a dog, cat, and ferret."

Rowan hmmphed. "Why would you have to get used to that?"

"For when we move in together," Reid said as if she should have already known.

Rowan turned her head to look at him with a quizzical expression that he could make out in the dark.

He smiled. "Not now. After we graduate."

"I didn't know we were going to cohabitate after graduation."

"What? You think we'll be living in dorms?" He shook his head. "Nah, I've done the dorm thing. After high school it'll be you and me in the same bed."

"Ohh, is that your aim? Just to sleep in the same bed?" Rowan turned on her other side to face him fully.

Reid's expression was serious though. "I like going to sleep with you then waking up next to you. You don't?"

"I do."

He smiled. "Then it's settled. After high school we'll move in together."

He said it so easily and definitively that Rowan was still put off. The topic had come out of nowhere. "You're serious?"

"Yeah."

As if supporting this idea, Bruce Lee skittered up by their heads and fell asleep.

"See? Bruce Lee likes it."

Rowan half-grinned. Cuddled up close to him. "Love you."

"Love you, too."

----

Sarah Wenham had disturbing dreams throughout the night. Caleb's dad's face kept superimposing itself onto Caleb's, causing her to wake up with sharp gasps of fear and dread. She couldn't believe her boyfriend was a warlock; Kate was under a spell because Chase wasn't the all-around good guy he had appeared to be; and somehow she had gotten caught up in the web of chaos. No, Caleb was telling her that Chase wanted him to basically commit suicide by giving up his Power. That would be what would happen if he did. It was like being in a continuous episode of the _Twilight Zone._

She rubbed her eyes, turned over in bed…and screamed.

Not five seconds later Caleb rushed in to see her scrambling out of bed that a furry creature now occupied while going spastic.

She had her hand over her heart, but was already calming down. It was just an animal.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yeah," she breathed. "It just surprised me."

"Bruce Lee, stop," Caleb said, picking up the animal by its scruff and holding it at eye level. The ferret quieted down and Caleb held it normally. "Sorry, he's excitable."

"It's okay," she said. "What is that? A…"

"Ferret," he finished with a lopsided grin. "He's friendly."

Sarah nodded.

"So…how did you sleep?"

She made a so-so gesture with her head. The room he had put her in was right across from his and was as big as her living room back home. She wasn't used to such opulence, his home was a museum.

"Are you hungry?" Caleb asked. "Row's downstairs making breakfast."

"God, what time is it?" She ran her hand through her hair.

"A little after eleven."

She followed him downstairs in her pajama pants and t-shirt. Caleb was wearing boxers and t-shirt. The chattering in the kitchen stopped when they came through the swinging door. Rowan was at the counter flipping pancakes; Reid's fork halted midway to his mouth. They all stared at her expectantly, warily. She knew their secret now.

"Morning, Sarah," Rowan said. "Sit down. I hope you like pancakes."

"Yeah," she replied. Caleb pulled out a chair for her, sat down next to her.

"Do you like anything in your pancakes? Blueberries? Chocolate chips?"

"Um…plain, is fine."

"Whipped cream on top?"

Sarah laughed. "No, thank you."

Rowan nodded and turned back to the pan. Five minutes later she was setting a plate of golden pancakes, scrambled eggs, and sausage in front of Sarah.

"Thanks, Row," Caleb said when she set a plate in front of him, too.

She just nodded. Rowan was still stung by his comment the previous night.

When Rowan joined them at the table with her breakfast, things started to iron out. As they ate their breakfasts the three animals looked on, hoping someone would drop something.

"So…do you always cook for them?" Sarah asked.

Rowan smirked.

"She spoils us," Tyler said.

"Yeah, she goes all out on our birthdays," Hunter added.

Sarah smiled. Caleb had told her that Rowan made their favorite breakfasts on their birthdays and they all made a morning out of it. A tradition that had gone on for several years. So what would happen tomorrow morning? Maybe she should go back to the dorms and let them have their time together.

"Nothing better than having a girlfriend who can cook," Reid bragged.

Said girlfriend rolled her eyes.

Naturally, it was Reid who brought up the pink elephant in the room. "So, Sarah, what do you think?"

Caleb glared at Reid who blithely ignored him. The blond figured that Caleb hadn't been considerate to anyone else, so why should he? Besides, they had a right to know if they had a "witchist" in their midst.

Her pancake thickened in her throat and it hurt going down. She glanced at all of them uncomfortably.

"You don't have to say anything," Caleb told her.

Rowan nudged Reid's foot under the table.

"Just curious," Reid stated with a shrug of his shoulders and went back to his food. Hardly anything could ruin his appetite.

When they were done eating, Hunter said, "I got the dishes."

"I'll help," Tyler added.

"Thanks, guys," Rowan said.

Hunter glared pointedly at Reid.

"What? How many people does it take to clean up?" Reid inquired. "I mean, I can have it done in two seconds…"

"Lazy," Tyler accused with a shake of his head.

"No, it's pragmatic."

"Whoa, big word!" Hunter exclaimed. "Where'd you get that one?"

"Rowan's Word of the Day calendar," Tyler smirked.

The group laughed.

"As a matter of fact, I did. That was today's word," Reid said.

Rowan, though amused, left the kitchen and their witty banter. She showered and changed into jeans, tee, and her Chucks. It was rainy and cool so she put on her knee-length black jacket.

"Where you headed to?" Caleb asked.

"To see Dad," she replied shortly. She ran a brush through her hair.

"Why?"

"Oh, gee, I don't know, Caleb, because he's our dad?"

He pursed his lips. "Okay, I guess I deserve that." When his sister kept mum, he walked further into her room. "I'm sorry about what I said last night." Silence. "I didn't mean it."

"I'll chock it up to your pre-Ascension PMS."

He snorted. The fact that his sister was making a joke meant that she wasn't completely mad at him still.

"That's your one get-out-of-being-a-douchebag-free-card. Got it?"

Caleb laughed. "Yeah. I got it." He hugged her. "I love you."

"Love you, too, Cay."

----

The drive to see her dad was a quiet one. She didn't put on any music or hum to herself to relax her mind. Rowan was glad to have cleared things up with Caleb because she didn't like to have tension between them. Especially with so many things going on, his hurtful blurb the previous night seemed small compared to everything else that was happening. He was worried like the rest of them, anxious about his-

Rowan slammed on the brakes, hard. Chase Collins had appeared out of nowhere five feet in front of her bumper. She tried to catch her breath. Any vehicular surprises were enough to trigger a slight anxiety attack. When she had herself under control, she shut her engine off and got out of the car. The wind whipped her hair in her face and she hastily brushed it aside. Oddly, now that she knew who Chase was, he did not bring to mind frightful images of Augustus Putnam.

"Hello…Lil Bit," Chase said, using the diminutive her brothers used. It sounded tainted coming from his lips.

"That was dangerous. I could have hit you," she told him.

He scoffed. "That would have solved your problems, huh?"

Rowan was standing with the back of her leg touching the bumper of her jeep. Chase was two arm spans away from her.

"I don't want to hurt you."

His brow rose. "Really, now? Not even after I hurt your…brother?"

"I'm not a violent person by nature. And Pogue will be fine. He's strong."

A sneer marred Chase's lips.

Rowan's hands clenched inside her jacket pockets. "What do you want?"

"Your brother asked me that last night."

She shook her head. "I mean right now. Why are you here?"

"I realized," – he took small steps around in a contemplative manner – "that you and I have hardly had a chance to talk. What with my having such a negative affect on your senses. Why is that?" He smiled at her.

She was silent for a moment. "You remind me of one of your ancestors."

Chase's face went slack.

"Augustus Putnam," she said. "The father of John Putnam. I think you know that part."

He didn't know very much about his ancestors being so separate from the families. Chase was sure not to let his face betray his interest. "Was he powerful, too?"

"He had power," Rowan replied. "He was also addicted."

His face twitched.

"He never asked for another member of the Covenant to will him his Power though. Even he knew that was against the Laws. The others wouldn't have stood for it."

"Because Augustus didn't have as much power as I do."

"That's true." The chill breeze made her shiver. "My brother wasn't lying when he told you that having more power wouldn't stop the aging. It'll make it worse."

Anger swelled in his chest and it became visible on his face.

"You don't even know what that much power will do to you. It could damage your brain. It might even kill you."

"I'm willing to take the chance," he spat.

Rowan felt compassion for him. She couldn't imagine what it would have been like to have grown up with no guidance or knowledge of his Power. He must have been so scared when they first manifested on his thirteenth birthday. And then his eighteenth.

"Let me help you," she said, her words surprising even herself.

He half-grinned, amused. "Help me? How could you help me?"

Rowan felt her own power rising within her. The power she had never consciously evoked. Even the few times it had risen to the surface for even the briefest of moments, it had drained her of energy to the point of unconsciousness.

"To help your addiction," she said. "You're not so far gone."

Chase chuckled. "That's rich."

"Why give up on yourself?" she asked. Rowan took a step forward. "You can fight it, you know."

"I don't want to fight it," he snapped. "I like it."

"You sure? The constant pulsing in your mind? The constant whispers, telling you to use and use again? Even when you're too tired, too sick of it all. You just want it to stop but you can't because your Power has its claws so deep inside you. Sometimes it hurts."

"What would you know about it?" he sneered viciously. "What do you know anything about power?" Chase took a heavy step towards her; he was so close now she could feel his body heat. "I can sense magic in your veins. But what can you do?"

And she let her spirit come forth. Her eyes turned as white as a baby lamb. And a luminescent glow surrounded her. Rowan felt it coursing through her, swimming on the surface of her consciousness. It was exhilarating in a way, but scary, too.

Chase took a step back, astonishment clear as crystal on his face. "What the hell are you?"

"The Keeper of the Covenant." Rowan held out her hand. "Let me help you."

Chase stared at her extended hand as if it were a cobra ready to strike.

"Please," Rowan said. She could already feel her power taking a toll on her energy. She wasn't used to this. Her body wasn't strong enough to sustain it.

He was shaking his slowly. "No."

"It's not too late."

He looked her in her immaculate eyes. Free of subterfuge, malice. Full of sympathy, compassion.

"No," he whispered under his breath fiercely. And he was gone.

The power flickered and petered out completely. Rowan fell to her knees, the world spun around her. She collapsed on her side into a ball. What was it Lucius had said? Being a Keeper wasn't about having more power than those you watched over. A Keeper might not have much magic power at all. Really, it was about strength of the spirit, keeping the Covenant together, keeping the bond strong.

Rowan tamped down the urge to vomit. She didn't want to open her eyes. She felt someone lifting her off of the ground.

"It's okay, Row," Hunter said.

She never made it to see her father.

----

The rain pelted against Rowan and Hunter, soaking them. They made their way through the fire and debris of what was once the old Putnam barn. They found Chase's inert body among rubble, flames licking close, trying to get a taste of him. Hunter nudged him with his foot. Nothing.

"Okay," Rowan said. "Hold him down."

Hunter easily restrained Chase with his telekinetic energy. Enough so he couldn't move, but not even to crush him.

Rowan took out a clear stone from a small drawstring pouch. When she let go of it it floated above Chase's body. She began to chant, the words resounding around them, building up energy. Chase's body bowed off of the ground, and a cry of pain tore from his throat.

A cloud erupted through his chest, the gem above him absorbed the Power that had once been Chase's father's.

When Rowan touched the stone, it was hot and vibrating.

"Can you feel that?" she asked Hunter.

"Yeah," he replied.

She put the stone in the pouch and clutched it tightly in her hand.

"What do we do with him?" Hunter asked.

Chase's eyes snapped open. And he disappeared in a howling cloud of smoke.

----

"How can that be?" Sarah was asking him.

Caleb stared at the ruins of the Putnam barn, bewildered. The firemen were putting out the fire and had told him that no one had been found inside or around the barn. How could Chase have survived the explosion? He couldn't worry about that now.

He felt his Power coursing through him like a rapid. Ascending had hurt. He hadn't expected another bout of power though. He wasn't sure where it had come from, but he thought he knew, just wasn't ready to let the answer form.

Caleb held Sarah's hand, and without thinking repaired his broken windshield.

_Jesus,_ she thought. _What have I gotten myself into?_

_

* * *

_**I had planned to write a little of the fight, but it seemed superfluous.**

**I hope the bit changes weren't too bad.**

**Love to know what you think.**

**Thank you to those who've been reading and reviewing. Much appreciated.  
**


	5. No Sound but the Wind

**V. No Sound but the Wind**

_Help me to carry the fore  
We will keep it alight together  
Help me to carry the fire  
It will light our way forever  
-Editors_

"I guess I can't talk you out of this," Rowan stated, not taking any pains to hide her annoyance and abundant disapproval.

It was Sunday afternoon; Pogue was sitting up in his hospital bed looking better than what the doctors had expected him to be. Tyler's dad had called his parents the night of the accident but had been unable to get a hold of them. Beatrice and Wayne Parry were out testing planes, and when they finally did get in contact, Pogue told his parents that he didn't need them to come home, he was okay, stay where they were.

"I think she should know," Pogue said.

Rowan snorted derisively. "You won't tell Kate your middle name, but _this_ you'll tell her."

"My middle name is off-limits," Pogue warned. He loathed his middle name; he could count on his two hands the number of people who knew it, and he intended on keeping it that way.

Rowan tried again to reason with him. "Let her think it was some allergy. You don't have to follow Cay's bad example."

Her brother glared at her. All of them were in the room. Sarah was on another floor with Kate who had made a "miraculous" recovery and being released from the hospital today.

"Can't we take a vote?" Rowan asked. She glanced at Tyler, Reid, and Hunter. "You guys have anything to say?"

"I don't see the point," Reid concurred.

Pogue sighed. "Lil Bit, I'm telling Kate."

She pursed her lips, and tamped down her frustration.

"If he gets to tell Kate, and Caleb told Sarah, can I tell Dizzy?" Tyler asked. "I've been dating her longer than Caleb has even known her."

Her cheeks turned red. "This is your doing," she pointed at Pogue and Caleb. "Setting an egregious example of how to keep a secret." She shook her head. "Shame on you both."

Reid snickered, and Hunter pressed his lips together to stifle his own amusement. Caleb and Pogue had the good grace to glance away, properly chastised.

"Besides, with Chase still out there they should be aware…" Caleb said.

Rowan winced, her brown eyes flickered uncertainly at Hunter.

"What?" Caleb instantly picked up on it.

Unaware, Rowan had moved closer to Hunter. He reached out and squeezed her hand.

"You know something about Chase, Row?" Reid asked.

They all knew about her attempt to help Chase. Hunter had disappeared out of nowhere and twenty minutes came back with a half-conscious Rowan.

"I did something…" Rowan hedged. She told them about her and Hunter standing off to the side near the end of Caleb's battle with Chase. They found him lying unconscious amidst the debris of the barn. "I relinquished his dad's Power."

"What?" they all exclaimed.

"I took the Power that Chase's father had willed him," Rowan repeated.

They were duly flustered.

"What happened to it?" Caleb asked.

She paused. "It's in a safe place."

"He disappeared in a cloud of smoke right after," Hunter finished for her.

Rowan was worried what they would think. A Keeper had many different ways in getting a one up on the Covenant, and she hoped Reid and her brothers didn't think she would ever use indiscriminately on them.

"I didn't know that was possible," Caleb said quietly.

Rowan shrugged. "I didn't do it to…I mean…I thought it might help him. I don't want the Power for myself or anything."

"Hey, we know that," Reid said, putting an arm around her waist. He kissed her on her temple.

"Rowan?" Caleb said.

"Yeah, Cay?"

"Can you do it again?"

Just as she nodded silently, Sarah and Kate entered the room full of smiles. Kate's eyes instantly went to Pogue. She hurried over to his bed and hugged him as hard as she could without hurting him.

"I was so worried!" she exclaimed.

Pogue chuckled. "I'm fine. How are you doing?"

"I feel great," Kate answered. Actually, she still had some aches in her body, her mouth felt dry, and she had a headache.

He smiled, and his eyes wandered around the room. Sarah was standing next to Caleb feeling slightly out of place. She was still reeling from the previous day. Being abducted by Chase at the school dance without even knowing it. Next thing she knew rain was falling on her face and Caleb was looking at her with concern – his black eyes gazing at her. She fought the shudder that crept up her spine.

"Do you want us to leave, Pogue?" Rowan asked.

He paused. "No…uh, stay a minute." Pogue squeezed Kate's hand. "There's something you need to know."

----

The sun just barely broke through the clouds as Evelyn, Caleb, and Rowan stood at their husband's and father's grave. William Danvers III could now officially rest in peace. He had sacrificed his life for his son, also ensuring the safety of his daughter, his wife, and all else that had been endangered by Chase Collins' madness.

There was no one else at the Danvers' mausoleum that held generations of Danvers lot. Now, the three mostly stood in silence, saying their own quiet goodbyes. Not much could be said save for the fact that they now knew William Danvers had been helpless against his Power. Gorman had told them the truth behind William's sudden descent into addiction. William had wanted them to know only after he had died.

So Caleb knew that his father had loved him all along, and had not selfishly abandoned them because he loved his Power more. Evelyn was besieged by a whirlwind of emotions. Anger, guilt, sadness. Her husband had made his life forfeit to protect them all. She wished he had said something so long ago instead of letting her believe that he had chosen his Power over his family. Things could have been so much different. Perhaps more bearable.

Rowan tried not to have any regrets. The last conversation she had had with her father, one week ago, had been a good one, she left him with an 'I love you' and he had said it in return. Out of them all, Rowan was the only one who had never held a grudge against her father. She couldn't find it in herself to be angry with him. Mostly, through it all, Rowan had been confused by the sudden change in her dad. But she had never questioned him; she just went on loving him. Because it was a so much better feeling than hate.

----

It was passed three o'clock and Rowan hadn't returned Reid's calls. He knew she and Caleb and their mom had gone to the Danvers' mausoleum for William's service. So he had spent Monday without her at school. Pogue would be getting out of the hospital tomorrow to then convalesce at the Danvers' mansion for a few days before going back to the apartment he shared with Hunter.

Spensers was chattering nonstop about the disappearance of Chase Collins. The unofficial story was that he had transferred out. Reid didn't know how long that ruse would fly, but he really wasn't too concerned.

Reid decided to call Caleb to see where Rowan was.

"She said she wanted to stay at the cemetery for a while longer," Caleb told him.

"Probably still there then," Reid answered.

He hung up with Caleb and drove to the Ipswich Cemetery which held all of the founders' mausoleums. Reid parked by the gate. The door to the Danvers' crypt was partially open. The structure was made of stone with ten steps that led up to a small platform. There were two Corinthian columns on each side that held up a flat roof.

Rowan was sitting on a bench at the back of the mausoleum in front of her dad's vault. She was hunched over with her arms tucked against her ribs, crying softly. Reid hadn't seen or heard Rowan cry since she found out her dad died. Hearing it now tore at his heart.

She sniffled, took in a shaky breath. "Hi."

Reid went to sit down beside her. Rowan moved into the warmth of his arms and rested her head against his shoulder.

"He's gone," she said quietly. "I didn't think…" Her voice broke. "Do you know…why he got old?"

"Yeah," he replied. "My dad told me."

More tears coursed down her cheeks. "If I wasn't… He would still be alive." She rose her head, looked at him with grief-filled eyes.

"Your dad did it because he loved you, Row," he said. "Don't start thinking it was your fault."

"I know I shouldn't." She took a breath and leaned away from him to wipe her tears away. "He didn't have any regrets about it." She half-smiled at him. "That's good, right?"

Reid nodded. "I'm grateful your dad did it."

Her brow wrinkled. "Why?"

"Because you might not be here with me now if he hadn't."

Her smile quivered, but was genuine. Rowan stood up and Reid pulled her into his arms and held her tightly.

"I guess I'm ready to leave now," Rowan said.

"I'll take you home."

She waited until they were outside to kiss him. The sunlight warmed her, though not as much as being so close to Reid did.

* * *

**This was just a bit of a filler/transition chapter. That's why it's so short. :)**


	6. Wish You Well

**VI. Wish You Well**

_Sometimes faith  
Feels like doubt  
And sometimes I wonder  
if we'll ever get out  
Sometimes life  
Hurts just like now  
But you gotta know  
It's all gonna come back around  
-Thousand Foot Krutch_

"Bitch," Reid sneered.

"Reid…" Rowan shook her head.

It was Friday morning, almost a week after the Chase incident. Rowan had gone to Reid's dorm to wake him up. They hadn't had a chance to talk about Sarah's abandonment of Caleb the previous evening.

"It's true!" he exclaimed as he put on an orange t-shirt before slipping on his white button-down shirt over it.

"I guess," she said. Rowan wasn't the type to blatantly curse someone…well except for that one time last year when she'd went postal on Kira Snyder at the Dells, but she had apologized for that.

"After he risked his life for her, too."

Rowan was tracing idle circles on Reid's unmade bed with her finger. "At least she did it sooner than later." She was worried about her brother. He almost seemed to have bad luck with girls jilting him in some way. And he was such a great guy, Rowan couldn't quite understand it.

Reid buckled his belt. "Row?"

She smirked, got up and took the red tie he was holding out for her. "One day you'll learn to do this yourself."

"Nah, I like it better when you do," he said. Reid hated ties with a passion. But he didn't mind standing so close to the girl he loved while she fixed it for him. He didn't have to remind himself how lucky he was that Rowan accepted him no matter what; flaws and all. And he knew he had a lot of them.

"There," she declared.

Reid kissed her and didn't stop for a while. She giggled against his mouth.

"I'm for skipping," he said playfully.

"I've already missed two days," she said. "And school hasn't even been in session for a month yet."

Reid put on a mock pout but finished getting ready. He slung his backpack over his shoulder and they walked out of the room and to the school building with his arm around her shoulders. Students called out to him in greeting; girls eyed him coyly, and Rowan, enviously. But that wasn't new; she'd gotten those stares almost all of her life because she was close to the illustrious Sons of Ipswich.

"Pogue comes back on Monday," she told him with a smile.

Reid grinned. "Good, he needs to get his lazy ass back here."

Rowan rolled her eyes. "He still won't be able to swim for a couple of weeks though." She was keeping a close eye on her brother. He was still convalescing at Rowan's house with Bubbe watching him in the interim. The orange tabby cat practically glued herself to Pogue's side, warding off any potential parasites.

"How long do you think Kate will be able to stick with him?" he asked her, changing the subject.

She went silent. Kate was disbelieving for a few minutes when Pogue told her at the hospital. Sarah confirmed it. And then they had showed her their black eyes; Kate couldn't deny that. Naturally she was afraid and didn't talk to Pogue for a couple of days while she absorbed it. So far she was accepting it, albeit reluctantly; getting used to the fact that her boyfriend of almost two years was a warlock.

"I don't know," Rowan replied.

They got to first period five minutes before the bell rang. Reid kissed her on the cheek and joined Tyler further up the tiers while Rowan sat by Hunter, Dizzy, and Pinkie on the second level. Kate and Sarah were sitting two rows above them; Rowan could practically feel the tension emanating between them and Caleb.

"How could she dump him?" Pinkie whispered to Rowan. "I was certain she was a Clingon." Clingon was the word Pinkie used for people who tried to ingratiate themselves with the Sons of Ipswich.

Rowan shrugged. "Her loss," she whispered back.

"Good versus evil," Mr. Porter began. "The quest to find one's identity. Romance. Love." He paused theatrically. "Secrets." He picked up a piece of chalk. "All common themes in Daphne du Maurier's _Rebecca_." The stick clacked against the chalkboard as he wrote down title and author. "Now, who has read this novel?"

----

Caleb's heart sunk when Sarah had broken it off with him last night at dinner. He'd been hoping they could have a nice, normal night out, more for her sake than his; but that wasn't to be. Admittedly, he wasn't as crushed about Sarah herself; it was more being rejected because of who he was, what he was; something he had no control over.

It didn't inspire much confidence for the future.

Caleb sighed and ran his hand down his face, recalling the conversation as he entered his house. Ernie and Bruce Lee were waiting for him in the foyer.

Sarah had said she didn't think she could live every day worrying if the person she was with would become addicted; she wasn't sure if she could stay and watch while he aged. She hadn't been expecting anything so sinister.

Afterwards, he drove her back to the dorms. Before she got out of the car she promised she would keep his secret.

The thing was, now that Caleb knew an addiction wasn't in his DNA, he felt more confident that he wouldn't succumb to it. Rowan had performed the same spell on him as she had done to Chase; summoning his dad's Power from within him, locking it inside a stone. And Tuesday when he'd woken up, he had felt lighter and less tense not having to carry his dad's Power around along with his own. Although he would be forever grateful for his dad sacrificing his life like he had.

"Hey, what's up," Pogue greeted him when Caleb walked into the kitchen.

"How you feeling?" he asked.

Pogue was eating a sandwich that Rowan had made for him that morning. A thick, delicious sub with all the trappings. Bubbe was lying dutifully at his feet.

"Pretty good," he said. He was still sore all over but with the rest, and the tea Rowan was giving him he knew he would be back to normal soon. "Ready to get back to school." He chuckled. "Wow, never thought I'd say that."

Caleb smiled. He fed Ernie and Bruce Lee their lunch. "Row's bringing your homework."

"I could do without that," Pogue quipped. "Where is she anyway?"

Caleb paused. "Uh…setting up some stuff at your apartment to make you more comfortable."

Pogue peered at his friend suspiciously. "What's she doing?"

Caleb held up his hands. "I don't know."

He snorted. "I guess I'll find out later today."

The elder boy joined his friend at the table with his own sub sandwich and soda.

"So…you see Sarah today?" Pogue inquired cautiously.

Caleb chewed, swallowed. "Yeah."

Pogue wasn't one for deep conversations, but he was worried about his friend. "How are you really doing?"

He sighed. Shrugged. "I'll live."

----

Two hours later, with the three animals in tow, Caleb was helping Pogue up the stairs to the apartment he shared with Hunter. When the door opened, the inside was dark.

Then: "SURPRISE!"

The lights snapped on and everyone was standing around with grins on their faces.

"What's this?" Pogue asked.

"What the hell does it look like?" Reid replied.

"A welcome home, glad you're better thing," Kate said, hugging him with a kiss. "Come on, sit down."

"You don't know, huh?" Pogue cocked a brow at Caleb.

Pogue made his way to the recliner on his crutches, plunking down with a quiet exhalation of air. Bubbe curled up on the top of the chair. Kate sat on the arm of the chair with arm around his shoulders. He saw that Sarah was the only one missing, but that didn't disappointment him, he wasn't too happy with the chick either.

"Does this mean I'm king for a day?"

"You wish," Hunter said.

"Nah, Row would have made you wear a paper crown," Tyler joked.

Pogue instantly became uneasy.

"I don't have one!" Rowan insisted. "Jeez."

There were snack foods placed on the table in the middle of the living room. It was a casual get-together that Pogue was glad for. They scarfed on junk food and let themselves unwind; eschewing the murky dregs that the previous week had left.

"What are we going to do for your birthday?" Kate asked. Everyone quieted and she realized what his birthday meant.

In a little over a week it would be Pogue's turn to ascend. So on October tenth at five-thirty-three PM, they would convene in what was left of the Putnam barn.

"I already know what kind of cake I'm making," Rowan told them, breaking the awkward silence.

"Double chocolate?" Pogue suggested.

"Don't spoil it," Rowan chastised.

"And there'll still be a party," Reid pointed out.

"Then it's your turn, right?" Kate asked Reid.

They were still getting used to having someone ask them about the part of their lives that had been kept a secret for so long. Rowan continued to hold to her conviction that neither Sarah nor Kate had to know, but since they did… Well, did that mean they had to go into detail about it?

"Yup," Reid said with smirk. He turned to Rowan. "What kind of cake am I getting?"

Tyler threw a Dorito at him, followed by a volley of chips from the others.

----

When Kate got back to the dorms late the next morning Sarah was up, doing some homework at her desk. She looked up from her book, smiled at Kate.

"How'd it go?" she asked.

Kate felt badly for having to leave her friend out of the festivities. But with Sarah and Caleb on the outs it would have been awkward the entire evening.

"Good," she replied, dropping her small duffel on her bed.

Sarah put her pencil down, swung around in her chair. "Just good? You don't have to hold back the details just because I wasn't there, Kate."

"Well, it was just a regular get together," she said. "Rowan cooked and made sure Pogue was ultra-comfortable all the time." Kate rolled her eyes.

Sarah nodded. "You know, I've noticed that when you mention Rowan you always sound a little…terse."

"I do?" Kate responded casually, not meeting her eyes.

"Yeah." Her blue eyes didn't waver from her roommate. Sarah hadn't gotten to know Rowan that well. Other than the fact that she was one of the weirdest people she'd ever met; she was nice all the same.

Kate sighed. "You know Rowan's cat spent the night in Pogue's room?"

"You're mad about a cat?"

"No!" Her jaw clenched in frustration. "Just…I mean… I wanted to spend time with Pogue and the damned cat was in the room most of the time. And when Pogue tried to leave her outside she just meowed and meowed until Pogue let her back in!"

Sarah was stifling her smile.

"I swear I think he loves that cat more than he loves me!" Kate blurted.

"That's not true, Kate. Pogue worships you."

She snorted. "Yeah, sure. If he's not leaving me for his precious bike, then he's leaving me because Rowan's in the hospital with a fever."

"Huh?"

Kate plunked down on her bed. "Nothing, just last year I was staying at Pogue's place, it was like three in the morning and Caleb calls to tell him that Rowan's in the hospital, and Pogue just bolts out of bed like the bed was on fire and leaves."

"Rowan is like his sister, Kate," Sarah tactfully pointed out. She knew Kate was an only child, so maybe that was why she couldn't comprehend Pogue's concern for Rowan; didn't understand the bond that siblings – blood related or not – could share. Sarah had a little sister herself, two years her junior.

"She had a fever! And last year he missed my birthday to go to Rowan's godmother's funeral, and he didn't even know her that well."

"Wasn't that when Rowan was still missing?"

"Not even missing." Now that Kate knew Rowan had really been taken back to the seventeenth century for two months and nearly burnt at the stake. Sarah knew it, too. "And we'd been planning for him to come with me to New York for two weeks during the summer, and he only ended up staying for one, but he was so distracted half the time, worried about Rowan, he might as well not have been there at all!" And a week after Pogue left, Kate had found an unexpected distraction that continued to fill her with shivers and guilt.

Kate shook it off, grinned. "So, what did you do last night?"

Sarah smiled reticently with a glitter in her eye. "Um…do you know who Blair Rush is?"

"Blair Rush?" Kate's grin spread like a rubber band. "Oh my God! Did he ask you out or something?"

Sarah blushed. "Maybe… I talked to him for a few hours last night. He seemed nice."

"Hmm, well…I've never heard any whisperings that were _too_ awful. I mean, sophomore year he and his girlfriend Chelsea had a big blow up in the Quad because she got drunk and went down on some guy at a party. He was totally heartbroken."

The blond scrunched her face at the gory detail. "I'm taking it they're broken up now?" The last thing she wanted to do was step on some rich-bitch's toes.

"Oh definitely!" Kate assured adamantly. "Blair would have nothing to do with her whatsoever. Called her a whore in front of the entire school."

"Yikes."

"So are you going to go out with him?"

Sarah shrugged. "Do you think it's too soon…after…?"

"As good a guy as Caleb is, you two weren't really dating."

She bit her bottom lip. "I do like him."

"Are you regretting breaking it off with him?"

She thought about it a minute, then shook her head. "It was just too much."

Kate understood. Sometimes she found herself wondering about Chase and how she could have missed the insanity in his eyes. But, then again, she had missed the fact that her boyfriend was a witch for the past two years.

"Say yes," Kate told her. "Have some fun."

"Yeah?" Sarah asked, still unsure of herself.

"Absolutely."

----

When Reid woke up he could see through his window that the sky was orange-purple. He turned his head and Rowan was reading a book with the sheets pulled up over her bare chest. Pout.

They had gone to his house earlier that afternoon, made love, and apparently he'd fallen asleep.

Rowan's eyes flicked to him, smiled. "Hey."

He rose up on his elbows, inadvertently catching the title of her book. "Hey, you know the rules!"

She grinned.

"Give me that."

Rowan turned to the side, eluding his grab. "I'm almost done!"

"No reading Harry Potter when I'm around!" he exclaimed. Reid had her around the waist.

"Okay, I'm done!" Rowan said, tossing the book on the nightstand. She flipped over on her back. "Happy?"

Reid was right above her, hair wild from sleep. "I can still see the book."

Rowan snorted. "Get over it."

"What is it about Harry Potter you like? The guy has to wear a cloak to school."

"You don't like our school uniforms either," she reminded him.

He ignored her rebuttal. "He carries around a cauldron, wears a pointy hat."

"He can fly a broomstick," Rowan said.

"I could fly a broomstick if I wanted. But I have a car."

"He has Hedwig."

"I have e-mail."

"He has a wand."

Reid grinned, wide. He whispered in her ear. "I have a wand, too." He kissed one side of her neck, then the other. "And I bet I use it a helluva lot better than he uses his."

She smirked. "But _his_ is made of holly and a phoenix hair."

"Isn't a phoenix something that dies, but rises again?"

Rowan laughed. "Nice analogies, Reid. I won't say how many inches his wand is because you'll just find something crass to say about it."

"How big?" he asked, suddenly curious.

"I'm talking about an actual wand," she reminded him. She looked at the clock. "We should get ready to go."

When she tried to wiggle out from underneath him, Reid just settled his weight down on her with his arms on either side so she couldn't move.

"Unfairly played, Garwin," she said while trying to move him off. "You're heavy!"

Reid laughed. "Maybe you're just tiny."

"Maybe you're just heavy. I can't help it if I'm small. Now, get off, so we can leave."

"First tell me how big his wand is."

"Read the book."

"I'm not letting you go until you tell me."

"You can't hold me captive. This isn't the Dark Ages."

Reid smiled wickedly. "Try me. I could keep you in bed forever."

Rowan sighed. "If you don't move, I'm putting on my chastity belt."

He paused. "I don't believe you."

"I will." She glared right back at him. "I'll be more pure than a nun with her legs sewn together so tight not even God's holy light could shine through."

Rowan took that opportunity with Reid distracted by laughter so hard it shook the bed, to get out from under him while managing taking a sheet with her. He was still laughing when she closed the bathroom door to take a shower.

----

When they got to Nicky's they saw that they weren't the last to arrive. Rowan and Reid joined Caleb, Pogue, Kate, and Hunter at the table.

"Baby Boy isn't here yet?" Reid asked as he greeted his brothers with man handshakes, and fist knocking.

"Nah," Pogue said.

It was Saturday, one of Nicky's busiest nights of the week. It was also the first time Rowan had been here since this last summer. She avoided looking at the mass of bodies as she sat down. She slipped off her dark blue corduroy jacket that she was wearing with a blue peasant skirt, flats, and a double-layered camisole top. The necklace Reid had given her for their last Un-Valentine's Day hung gracefully around her neck. It was something she'd taken to wearing every day.

Five minutes later Tyler, Dizzy, and Pinkie walked through the door.

"Sorry," Tyler said.

"My fault," Pinkie admitted. "I had trouble finding something to wear."

"You're worse than a girl," Reid told him.

"No," he replied with his nose slightly up in the air as he sat down. "I simply take pride in my appearance."

"You want something?" Tyler asked Dizzy.

"Oh, um…diet Coke?" She smiled that smile that made Tyler's stomach flip. Not that he'd admit it to anyone.

"Coming up," he said, giving her a kiss on the cheek before heading to the bar.

"You want something, bro?" Hunter asked Pogue. "I'm going up there."

"Nah, I'm good, thanks."

"What about me?" Reid asked.

"You're not injured," Caleb said.

Reid snorted. "You better enjoy this while it lasts," he said to Pogue.

"Yeah, you'll be caring my books come Monday," Pogue responded with a smirk.

The blond's scoff was truncated by two people who entered the bar, laughing closely. "Bitch," he hissed under his breath.

They followed his eyes. Sarah was with Blair Rush. A fellow swim teammate.

Pinkie's mouth opened in an 'o'. He turned to Dizzy. "Let's go powder our noses, sweetie."

Pogue turned to Kate. "Did you know she was coming?"

"Not exactly…" Kate said nervously.

But Blair and Sarah had caught eye of them and were nearing. "Hi, Kate," Sarah said.

"What's up guys?" Blair greeted.

"Blair," Caleb said congenially, as nice as he could.

Hunter and Tyler came back at the same time, feeling the tension around the table.

"Be careful with this one, Blair," Reid said. "She changes her mind a lot, you know?"

Sarah looked at Reid, horrified almost. Kate shot daggers at him. Blair looked slightly confused, but recovered and told Sarah that he would go get them a drink.

Rowan could practically hear the alarms going off. "Oh damn," she blurted. "I forgot to fix the glass pane on my green house and it's supposed to rain tonight." She stood up, took her jacket. "You're still going to help me, right?" Rowan asked her brother.

He nodded, got up too.

"Sorry, guys," Rowan said. She kissed Reid on the cheek, then whispered in his ear, "Try not to hurt anyone." Reid smirked.

The siblings said bye to everyone and left the bar in a perfectly spontaneous, casual exit.

"Is he mad?" Sarah asked.

"Oh, no," Pogue spoke sarcastically. "He only just tells you his biggest secret, risks his life for you, and then you shit all over him. No, Sarah, he's not mad."

"Pogue!" Kate censured.

"It's not like that," Sarah defended herself.

"What's it like then?" Tyler asked archly.

Reid sneered contemptuously. "She just thought it would be great getting in with a Son of Ipswich until she realized it wasn't as glamorous as she thought."

"Go to hell, Reid," Sarah snapped.

"I'm already Damned, skank," he shot back. "That's why you dumped Caleb, right?"

She took a deep breath. "I don't want to see him hurt himself."

"How do you know he will?" Tyler said. "You didn't even give him a chance before you bailed."

"Coward," Reid stated.

"Stop!" Kate ordered. She pleaded with her eyes for Pogue to do something.

"Maybe you ought to go, Sarah," Hunter said smoothly, jade eyes ready to cut through her bullshit.

Sarah gasped sharply and touched her shoulder where she felt an invisible force press ever so slightly against her. She knew Hunter was telekinetic, knew about his history, the reputation of his family. Sarah swallowed a lump in her throat, tried to set her back straight as she walked away.

"I can't believe you did that!" Kate seethed at Pogue.

"What? Told the truth?" Pogue replied. "This is something you either deal with or you don't. Sarah didn't deal."

"Can you blame her?" Kate blurted, instantly regretting it.

Pogue's already cool eyes dropped to sub-zero levels. "That's how it is, Kate?"

Kate sighed. "I didn't mean it like that."

Pogue shook his head, stood up slowly, minding his injuries. "I'm going. Bubbe seems like better company tonight."

Reid, Tyler, and Hunter stood up, too. Tyler went to get Pinkie and Dizzy to take them back to the dorms. Reid had come in Rowan's car, so he went with Tyler, too. Pogue got on the back of Hunter's bike and they went back to their apartment.

----

When Caleb and Rowan got home Ernie and Bruce Lee weren't waiting for them in the foyer as was usual. They heard a clinking in the sitting room and went to investigate. They found their mother with two bottles of clear liquid in each of her hands. Ernie and Bruce Lee were looking on intently.

"Oh…you two are home early," she said.

Her son and daughter were eyeing the alcohol she was carrying, then their eyes glided to the coffee table that held an array of other bottles.

Evelyn cleared her throat. "I was just disposing of these. I didn't expect you two so soon."

Their mother had obviously been hoping to have this finished before they got back, not wanting them to witness her valiant attempt at sobriety. Normally she just tried to quit cold turkey, never had she endeavored to get rid of her poison.

They nodded silently. Rowan was the first to move. She grabbed up two bottles and put them in the large trash bag that was on the floor. Caleb took three, those bottles went into the dark of the receptacle, too.

* * *

**Another transition-like chapter. Hopefully it didn't seem too irrelevant. **

**Feedback always welcome.**

**Gracias for the encourage reviews I've gotten thus far. Much appreciated.**


	7. Animal I Have Become

**VII. Animal I Have Become**

_I can't escape this hell  
So many times I've tried  
But I'm still caged inside  
__Somebody get me  
through this nightmare__  
I can't control myself  
-Three Days Grace_

Reid woke up with a start. Body and mind yanked from his suffocating dream. He was covered in sweat, his head was pounding. The flames from the candles on his bedside table were almost out from when he lit them at eleven last night. He had started his pre-ascension regime on Tuesday. Getting out of bed, Reid went into the bathroom, shut the door, didn't bother turning on the light. The small window illuminated the bathroom just enough. He turned the faucet to cold, splashed his face and neck, letting the cool droplets run down his back and chest. Hands braced on either side of the sink, he looked at himself in the mirror.

He saw a young face, unmarred from the ravages of age. Not like his dream. Dreams that had been plaguing him for the past two weeks. Reid could pinpoint the beginning of them at a few days after Pogue's ascension. The blond had never seen one before, and the pain Pogue had been in; his brother's yell of distress had freaked him out. The same would happen to him. Less than a week.

Sighing, he sat down on the tiled floor, letting his head rest against the wall. The closer his birthday got, the more apprehensive he became. Since he was told about his Power he'd been looking forward to his eighteenth birthday. But now…now he was scared. It shamed him, and he could not say it out loud. Reid felt himself becoming increasingly cranky with everyone, even Rowan. God, he'd even snapped at her the other day.

_Jesus Christ, Rowan, do you think you could drive a _little_ faster? _

He winced himself, just remembering it, his biting tone. Surprised by his outburst, her eyes actually came off the road to look at him. That's when he saw the flicker of hurt and confusion in them.

It was the dreams that were setting him on edge. Succumbing to the allure of his Power, aging, disappointing everyone; Rowan leaving him. Terrified that he wouldn't be able to control himself. That it would be too much for him.

He distracted himself by swimming; sometimes staying late after swim practice to work off his tension. They hadn't lost a meet yet, which scouts had witnessed. That's what he needed right now, a good swim. He got up, left the bathroom, grabbed his swim gear, making sure not to wake Tyler because then he'd get an interrogation. He used his Power to unlock the pool room door. Changing quickly in the locker room, he donned his swim cap and goggles as he walked to the pool. Reid dove into the water, the execution of the dive allowing his body to slice through the water like a knife.

He swum laps until his muscles burned. After a shower he went back to his room. Tyler was still asleep, but he'd be waking up soon. The exercise had settled him just enough that he fell asleep once his head hit the pillow.

----

Rowan hesitated before going into Reid and Tyler's room. Reid was easy to set off these days so she didn't know if her presence would be welcome. The first bell rang in fifteen minutes, and they had a test that Reid couldn't miss. Rowan knocked lightly. The door swung open, startling her. Reid was dressed and ready.

He smiled. "Were you knocking?"

Feeling uncharacteristically apprehensive with him she just shrugged, a grin falling short from her lips. How odd it was that she didn't know how to act around him. She was chocking up his erratic behavior to his upcoming ascension; just like her brother and Pogue had, Reid was getting itchy about it. Yet Caleb and Pogue's mood swings had not been as bad as Reid's. Not nearly so volatile. Rowan reminded herself that it was different for everyone and she shouldn't take it personally. Bearing grudges not in her makeup, she wouldn't hold it against him; even though the way he was acting hurt.

Reid took her hand, entwining his fingers with hers.

_He didn't sleep well_, Rowan thought, observing him from the corner of her eye. Reid was so fair of skin that you could tell if any difference appeared. Like the subtle dark smudges under his blue eyes.

The longer he stayed away the stronger the incessant pounding in the back of his head got. It was like an urge to use or lash out. He squeezed Rowan's hand tighter, the skin to skin contact sapping some of his edge out. So when they got to class and he had to let go it was like stepping out in the middle of traffic.

Their tests got handed out; he didn't understand a single word. The lead of his pencil tapped a tattoo on his desk. Scribbled answers marred the pages, not knowing if they were right or coherent he kept it up so long as something – anything – came to mind.

The bell rang. Students handed in their tests like they were flint, and hustled out of the classroom like their asses were on fire.

"How'd you do?" Tyler asked him.

He rubbed his eyes. Shrugged.

"Well, you studied," his friend went on. "You probably didn't do so bad."

Reid turned around for Rowan, but Aaron had pegged her down near the door. He was saying something to her. Rowan emitted a small chuckle, shook her head and walked away.

Reid felt the pounding come back with a vengeance. He felt like The Bride in _Kill Bill_ whenever she saw one of her assassins and "Ironside" played. He took a breath, determined not to flip out in front of the school. Taking hold of Rowan's hand, they walked to their next class.

Rowan was conscious of the tight grip Reid had on her. She didn't say anything, if he wanted to cut off the circulation in her hand for a few minutes, then okay. His face was tense, pupils dilated. She didn't know what could have set him off in the short time since class ended.

----

Swim practice cooled him off. He won every race, the coach even noticed his improvement.

"Hey, you okay?" Tyler asked as they stood on the sidelines. His normally gregarious friend was close-lipped today.

Reid nodded. Glanced over at Aaron. His chattering with Rowan was still playing in his mind like a broken record. What had she been laughing at, he asked himself for the thousandth time. In the back of his mind, Reid knew he was being irrational.

"What're you staring at, Garwin?" Aaron asked snidely.

Caleb rolled his eyes. What was Aaron trying to start? For once Reid hadn't even been saying anything.

"Great," Pogue said under his breath.

"Don't start, Abbot," Reid retorted through clenched teeth.

"Start what?" Aaron prodded. "You were looking at me."

"You wish," Reid replied.

"Come on, let it go, Aaron," Caleb interjected.

"Stay out of it, Danvers." Aaron seemed determined to get into a fight today. Facing Reid again, he went on. "What's the matter? Girlfriend troubles?"

Reid was pretty sure his eye twitched. "Do _not_ talk about her."

"Free country." Aaron sneered.

"_My_ girlfriend," Reid challenged. "Shut your mouth."

Aaron chuckled. "You know, I was talking to Rowan earlier today…"

"Ironside" began to play in Reid's head on full blast. "Stay away from her."

"Whoa. Getting possessive are we? How does Row feel about that?"

"Don't call her that."

Pogue, Tyler, Hunter and Caleb were exchanging wary glances, knowing this was not going to end well if they didn't stop it now. Other students were even beginning to look over. Coach was distracted.

"Do you have a copyright on that name or something?" Aaron asked. "Pretty sure you don't."

Reid was standing nearly nose to nose with Aaron now. "If I see you talking to her again I'll knock your teeth out. Got it?"

"I'm real scared," Aaron spat sarcastically.

His vision literally went red, and his fist that was nearing Aaron's face was stopped mid-air by Hunter's hand around his wrist.

"What the hell are you doing?" Reid demanded.

"Keeping you from getting expelled," Hunter said. "Walk away, Reid."

"Whose side are you on?" Reid yanked his arm away from his friend.

"Garwin! Abbot!" Coach called out to them from the opposite side of the pool. "There a problem?" When they shook their heads, Coach nodded. "Good. Abbot, you're up."

Venom spewed from Aaron's stare as he walked away from Reid and his friends.

"What was that about?" Caleb said.

"Nothing," Reid said blandly.

Later on, when Reid was out of earshot, Caleb said that they should probably keep a closer eye on Reid.

"His moods are getting more severe the closer his birthday gets," Caleb said.

"He's not sleeping either," Tyler told them. "He gets out of bed in the middle of night and leaves. I think he goes swimming."

"Has he been using more?" Pogue asked.

"Not that I've seen," Caleb said.

"Me either," Tyler added.

"Row thinks what she gave him might not be enough," Hunter said.

"Worked pretty good for me," Pogue said.

"Same here," said Caleb.

Hunter nodded, shrugged in a resigned manner. "We'll have to wait and see."

----

Reid went to the Drury Lane Bakery after work. Beans, the coffee shop he worked at, was just down the street. Rowan and him were planning to get dinner. She was just saying goodbye to a customer when the bell above the door tinkled, sounding his entry. Even after all the time he'd known her, even after being lovers for only a few months; seeing Rowan always made his heart skip.

Rowan called out to Lacy, the owner, and told her she was closing the register. She grabbed her jacket, walked out into the cold evening with Reid. It was cozy in the local diner. They ordered and ate in quiet for a while.

Rowan wanted to bring up the almost-fight Reid had had with Aaron during swim class, but was wisely deciding against it, not wanting to rev Reid up unnecessarily. Yet she could not help but observe him for any signs of ill-contentedness. The dark smudges under his eyes were still visible; the corners of his lips weren't as pinched though. Hopefully Reid's party on Saturday would ease him up like a good party usually did. Because his birthday fell on a Tuesday it was decided for the party to be held earlier.

"Could you do me a favor, Row?" Reid asked casually.

"Sure," she said.

He put down his eating utensil. "Stop talking to Aaron."

Rowan almost choked on her drink, the comment was so left-field, random, and laced with venom that it shook her. "I don't get it."

Reid went on eating like nothing was amiss. "Today, after class. You were laughing with him."

Rowan nodded slowly. "Yeah…"

"Yeah, well," he said sarcastically, "I don't want you to anymore."

She stayed silent for a moment. "Where is this coming from?"

"My head."

Shutting her eyes for a brief second, she collected her thoughts. Did she just enter the Twilight Zone? "He asked me about the test, Reid. Why are you so upset?"

His cheeks flushed red, pupils dilated. "You know I've never liked you talking to him."

"What do you want me to do, ignore him?"

"Sure, why not?" he replied flippantly.

Rowan leaned back against the booth, completely at a loss for words, knowing there was no good way to end this argument. This had to be his pre-ascension behavior, as she was beginning to think of it as; because never had Reid ever blatantly, straight out, demanded she stop talking to Aaron.

"This…isn't making a lot of sense, Reid," she said hesitantly.

"What's so complicated about it? Did you go dumb on me?" he retorted, raising his voice.

Rowan winced and looked away from him. "I'm not feeling well. Can we go?"

He didn't reply, just took some folded bills out of his pocket, slapped some green on the table, and nearly dragged her out of the diner. As he walked her back to her car, her mind reeled.

"Are the candles and incense I gave you not enough?" she asked.

"What do you mean?"

"You're acting… I mean, you're just irritated lately. Because of your birthday."

He sighed sharply. "Why does it have to have anything to do with my birthday? Maybe I just don't like you talking to Aaron."

"This isn't just about Aaron, Reid, you know that. I'm worried about you."

He stopped on the middle of the sidewalk, looked at her. "Don't. I'm fine."

Rowan tipped her head to the side. "Are you sleeping enough?"

Reid's jaw clenched. "Yeah." He tasted the lie on his tongue like battery acid. What was wrong with him? Telling a bald-faced lie to Rowan. Why couldn't he keep his emotions in check like Pogue and Caleb had? Why was he snapping at the person he loved most in the world for no reason?

She didn't call him on his untruth as she saw the conflict going on behind his eyes. They walked the rest of the way in silence.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you earlier," he said when they got to her car. "You were right. I'm just not…sleeping well."

"Do you want me to make you a sleeping potion?"

He chuckled dryly. "No. I can deal with it."

"Okay…if you change your mind…"

Reid kissed her, savoring the sweet taste of her lips, then pulling her into a tight hug.

"You know I love you, right?"

Rowan nodded. "I know. I love you, too."

----

Tyler thought he was dreaming at first when he felt the rumble. When he heard it, it made him think otherwise, especially as he continued to feel it. His bed was shaking, the lamp on his nightstand was rattling. Tyler shot up in bed.

"Reid!"

The blond was fast asleep.

"Reid, get up!" Tyler said, having gotten out of bed, now shaking his friend to stir him.

His eyes were flickering like he was possessed but he wouldn't rouse to Tyler's calls.

"Damn it," Tyler cursed. He hurried into the bathroom, filled a glass with cold water, went back and threw it on Reid's face.

"Ah!" Reid cried out, surprised and angry. "What the…"

"What the hell…"

Reid's eyes were black as pitch.

"You're using in your sleep."

"Huh?"

"Your eyes!" Tyler exclaimed.

Reid fumbled to the bathroom, looked in the mirror. His eyes were pools of darkness. His hands clutched each side of the sink as he willed his Power down into the depths where it belonged.

He came out of his self-induced trance when he heard Tyler saying his name.

"What?" he finally answered, his voice raspy and low.

"You've been standing there for five minutes."

Reid hung his head, turned on the tap, and drank until his thirst was quenched.

Tyler's concern was apparent on his face, the rigid set of his shoulders. "It's getting worse. Were you having a nightmare?"

Silence.

"Look, we should talk to Rowan about this. She might-"

"_No_," Reid nearly yelled. He turned to face Tyler. "Don't say anything to her about this."

"She might know what to-"

"I said no!" Reid seethed. "I don't want her to know."

Tyler's eyes became wary slits. "Why?"

_Because I don't want her to think I can't handle this._ He didn't want Rowan to have the tiniest doubt that he might become her father – before she had found out the truth behind his addiction.

"She can't know," Reid finally said. "Okay? Don't tell her."

The younger shifted uncertainly from one foot to the other. Against his better judgment, he nodded, albeit reluctantly.

----

Reid thought he had kept himself in check pretty well on Friday, so when Saturday rolled around, the night of his party, he figured that things would go smoothly and he wouldn't have to worry so much about the instability of his Power. Before the guests arrived at the Garwin estate, Reid took a long, long swim in his indoor pool to work off any mental or physical strain.

He was happy to see Rowan in his room when he came out of the shower, a towel around his waist. He wrapped her in his arms, lifting her feet up off the floor, heedless of his still damp body. Her lips tasted like strawberries as his tongue charted familiar, pleasurable territory.

"Someone's in a good mood," Rowan commented with a grin.

"Well, I saw your face…" Reid had a goofy, lop-sided grin on his face. He held her at arms length with either of his hands on her hips, checking her up and down. "…and what you're wearing…"

Rowan flushed, rolled her eyes in a bashful manner that was endearing to him. She was wearing a chiffon print dress that had a scoop neck, white bust, black band, the skirt portion having a gray, blue, white watercolor-like print. Black ballet flats complemented her dainty feet, and the hanging garden necklace Reid had given her adorned her delicate neck.

"Yeah, well, you don't look too bad yourself," Rowan replied, giving him a once over. "Is that what you plan on wearing?" She gestured to the towel. "Your female guests will love it."

Reid laughed. He changed into blue jeans and black T-shirt, and fingerless gloves. Rowan took his comb and ran it through his hair before using her fingers to tease it. The light brush of her nails on his scalp sent tingles down his body, and made his legs wobbly.

"We could stay here and I'll let you do that all night," he propositioned.

She grinned. "We can't have you disappointing all your guests. The girls would leave in tears."

Reid snorted dismissively at the thought. After he kissed Rowan one more time they left his room.

Downstairs, the large room was already set up with refreshments, food, and decorations.

"The birthday boy!" his friends exclaimed even though it wasn't really his birthday yet.

Reid waved off their enthusiasm glibly.

"That's the thanks we get for showing up," Pogue quipped.

Rowan noticed that Pogue didn't have his arm around Kate's waist or shoulders like he normally would have. Things were still pretty strained between the two of them, especially after the whole mishap at Nicky's a few weeks ago.

"I feel so undervalued," Pinkie said with mock-distress. "After all that trouble I went to find the perfect set of silk boxers for you." He sniffled.

"You're kidding, right?" Reid said. He turned to Dizzy, knowing Tyler's girlfriend was Pinkie's shopping partner. "He is, right?"

"Of course I am!" Pinkie exclaimed. "Silk boxers…it screams porn star." He pondered that for a moment, about ready to say something when Reid told him to shut up. Pinkie just smiled at him sweetly.

"Is Judy coming?" Dizzy asked Caleb. "You invited her right? You said you were."

Caleb glared at Pogue, who glared at Hunter, who glared at Tyler, who shrugged carelessly.

"Did you?" his sister asked.

"I…mentioned it," he replied.

"Well, that's okay, because I invited her," Dizzy said with a glimmer of triumph.

"Do I have any say in the guest list?" Reid spoke, not serious.

"I asked you," Tyler said. "Over a week ago."

"So watch out for her, all right?" Rowan nudged her brother, whose eyes flicked towards the door as if Judy would walk in any minute.

"Did she say she would come for sure?" he asked, trying to rein in his anticipation.

"See, I told you he was still in love with her," Dizzy told Tyler. "Didn't I say that, Pinkie?"

"Certainly did," he echoed. "So obvious, poor guy." He winked at Caleb.

"I'm so glad the word's out," Caleb said dryly, not disputing the 'love' thing because then he'd never hear the end of it. "Any other speculations about my life you want to make?"

Rowan and Dizzy made exaggerated sounds of sympathy, hugging Caleb on either side.

"Hey, it's my birthday!" Reid whined. "I should be getting all the action. He had his day."

Dizzy gave Reid a conciliatory peck on the cheek. Reid grinned at Tyler.

"Okay, okay," the youngest said, pulling his girlfriend back to his side. Dizzy took his head between her soft hands, kissed him full on the lips, eliciting sounds of male congrats from his friends.

"The love goes 'round," Hunter mused just as the doorbell rang.

Within fifteen minutes the guests were arriving in droves. The music was amped up to high decibels that were liable to cause temporary hearing loss. People loved going to any party the Sons of Ipswich threw, invited or not, if only to say that they had been there.

Caleb was hovering by the door, keeping a sharp eye out for Judy, hoping she would show up. Not that he'd blame her if she didn't. Judy had told him in no uncertain terms that she didn't fit in with "his crowd." It sickened him that it was the snarky gossip from the girls at school that had driven Judy away from him. None of his assurances had placated her doubts; in the end the only thing he could do was let her go.

"There she is!" Dizzy squealed, high pitched that it could be heard over the music and chatter.

Caleb, for once, was glad for Dizzy's over-enthusiasm. She was Rowan's closest girlfriend, and many times he had been grateful to Dizzy for being such a good friend to his little sister.

Dizzy was dragging Judy through the crowd, straight towards Caleb. She was wearing a light green tiered skirt with a long-sleeved, V-neck tee. It contrasted nicely with her fiery red hair that was sleek, shiny, ending slightly below her shoulders. Judy wore no makeup save for some light lip gloss; her natural blush rouged her cheeks like pale cherries.

"Hey," Caleb said, hoping he didn't sound too nervous. "Glad you came."

Judy smiled bashfully. _Why the heck am I here? _

"Can I get you a drink?" Caleb asked her.

"Um…sure, thanks," Judy managed to make herself heard over the noise.

He nodded. "Be right back."

Dizzy kept Judy occupied with friendly chatter. "I'm so glad you came!" she exclaimed.

Judy's brow furrowed. "Really?"

"Duh, silly!" Her eyes scanned the crowd. "Row!"

Rowan caught her friend's call, walked over to them. "Hi, Judy. Where's that brother of mine? Does he know you're here?"

"He went to get her a drink," Dizzy informed. "I like what you're wearing. It brings out your hair."

"Thanks," Judy replied. Unlike most girls at Spensers, she felt that Maria…or Dizzy rather, was sincere in reaching out to her. Judy usually kept herself in the background; an intellectual at the lower echelons of Spensers' hierarchy. She had made herself noticed and a target for gossip when she had begun to hang out with Caleb Danvers last year. Unable to stand being the object of intense scrutiny, she'd told Caleb it would be best if they didn't talk anymore.

Now, here she was again, purposely stepping into a snake's pit; especially after the heated opposition of her best friend Millie who gave the A-crowd the evil eye any chance she got.

Caleb was back in no time with a cup of ginger ale. Somehow, Dizzy and Rowan had magically drifted into the crowd, leaving them to their devices.

Judy thanked Caleb, took a sip of her soda.

"You look pretty," Caleb complimented her.

She was fairly certain her entire face and neck was the color of beets. She cleared her throat. "You, too."

They both grinned at each other, attempting to overcome their nerves.

"Do you want to go somewhere more quiet?" Caleb asked her.

Judy's face lost some of its amusement. _Someplace more quiet?_

"I mean," Caleb corrected himself, realizing how that must have sounded, "there's a veranda on the first floor that faces the garden."

Reluctantly, she agreed. But the garden certainly was pretty. They sat down on the bench. She shivered and Caleb gave her his jacket.

"I really am glad you came," he told her.

Pause. "But…why?"

"Because I like you," he stated plainly. "I never stopped."

Her eyes popped at his blatant revelation. She didn't quite get his attraction to her. She was the epitome of a Plain Jane; her closet was filled with jeans, t-shirts, sweaters; nothing overly fancy. Sure, she had lost some weight over the summer, but she still didn't come close to resembling the kind of girls Caleb normally dated. She remembered the blond girl at the beginning of the year.

"What…happened to Sarah?" she asked.

Caleb's brown eyes shuttered. He shrugged casually. "Not for me." He sighed a little. "Tell you what. Why don't we just get to know one another, and try not to let all that crap at school get to us."

Pregnant silence encompassed them. Judy wasn't one to leap, but she did. "All right."

Caleb grinned, it reached his eyes. "Great. What's your favorite color?"

Judy laughed.

----

Rowan left the party to refill a bowl of chips. She went through the kitchen cupboards until she located a spare bag. The music was a distant memory all the way from here, the pop of the chips bag and their descent into the bowl making up for it.

She felt the presence before she heard it.

"Just me," Reid said, his arms around her waist and his lips brushing her neck.

"Almost gave me a heart attack," she said.

"Sorry," he told her, giving her a trail of soft kisses down the curve of her neck.

It tickled. "Well, you can sneak up on me anytime."

Turning her around, smiling, he said, "Good."

As their lips danced against each others, Rowan's fingers skimmed the back of his neck, ruffling the blond hairs that touched his nape. He emitted a low groan of pleasure and pulled her closer to him, pretty sure she could feel his erection as he could feel her soft breasts against his chest.

The deeper Reid fell into the kiss, the more insistent the pound in the back of his head became. There was no "Ironside" playing, but there was a dark, low whisper that was telling him, in rather explicit terms, to take Rowan here and now like they were in some dirty erotica novel. Not that he objected, but someone could walk in on them. And as he quibbled with the entity inside of him, he was semi-conscious of him backing Rowan up against the counter, pulling up the hem of her dress, his hands caressing her thighs.

Her sharp exhale of pleasure spurred him on, both hands under her dress now, making their way to her butt, to the waistband of her panties, pulling them down a little.

"Reid," she warned him.

"Okay," he said, but didn't stop.

Rowan's legs damn near buckled when two fingers touched her between her thighs. She was worried someone might walk in on them, though. "Reid, wait." She tried to push him away, but he was stronger than her. "Wait. Someone might come in."

"Let 'em," he told her, voice husky.

It didn't feel good anymore. It felt wrong. "Reid, stop for a minute." Rowan moved her head back, grabbed his face between her hands to get his full attention. "_Reid_."

Some recognition flickered in his eyes. "You don't want to?"

Her chuckle of incredulity was forced as she straightened herself. "Um…not here."

An expression she didn't recognize flashed across his face. He stepped away from her, fists clenched. "Who is it?"

Completely bewildered, it took her a moment to answer. "What?"

"Who is he?"

She shook her head, still confused. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You know what I'm talking about!" he yelled, hitting the bowl of chips off of the counter sending them flying through the air and onto the floor. When he turned his eyes on her, they were black.

"Reid, what are you doing?"

"_Me_? What am _I_ doing?" He got in her face. "I'm trying to figure out why my girlfriend doesn't want me to touch her."

"That's not what I meant, Reid," she insisted. "I just didn't want anybody to walk in on us."

"Why? Are you ashamed of me?" he demanded. "Ashamed of us?"

_What the hell are you saying, you idiot?! You sound like a psycho!_

"No!" She cupped his face in her hands again. "Reid, listen to me. Stop using."

"I'm not!"

"Yes, you are," she almost whispered.

Reid jerked away from her, trying to find his reflection somewhere. He found it in the microwave that was mounted on the wall. He saw even in the dim window of the microwave door that his eyes were black.

"Damn it," he cursed.

"It's okay," she said.

"No, it's not!" He shoved her away, too hard because his Power was surface level. She fell backwards against the cupboards.

"What the…" Hunter had come to see what was taking Rowan so long, and he walked in just as Reid pushed her. Anger instantly curdled in his chest.

Reid half snapped out of it after Rowan hit the cupboards. "Oh, shit… Row…" Just as he was approaching her, he was thrown back, which didn't help his disposition.

"Are you okay?" Hunter asked Rowan as he helped her up.

She nodded. Rubbed the back of her head. Her back hurt like hell…she predicted some slight bruising in the morning.

Eyes still warped, Reid got up. "Get away from her!"

"You get away from her!" Hunter ordered. "You're out of control."

"Fuck you!" Reid spat. "_I'm_ in control!"

"Reid, calm down, all right?" Rowan soothed. She wanted to go to him, but Hunter wasn't having it.

"Guys?" Tyler came in. "What…?"

Rowan was disheveled, Hunter was in battle-mode, Reid was looking like he was backed into a corner and ready to attack.

"You need to go somewhere and chill out, Reid," Hunter said.

"Don't tell me what to do!"

"What's going on?" Tyler asked.

"He's lost it," Hunter said. "And won't admit it."

"Do not…" Reid was warning him. His entire body was shaking.

"Reid, come on, we'll go outside, get some air," Tyler mediated.

"Stay out of it, Baby Boy," Reid growled, his voice not entirely his own.

"Come on, Row," Hunter said, "we need-"

"You're not taking her anywhere!" Reid threw an energy ball at Hunter who stopped it midair and flung it back to Reid, catapulting him across the kitchen and into the wall.

In that beat of silence, a sharp gasp of surprise filled the room.

They turned.

Dizzy fainted. Hitting the floor with a thud.

* * *

**Whoo, long chapter. O_O**

**I didn't include any dialogue of what Reid was hearing because I didn't want him to appear schizo-like, just more on the edge.**

**Reviews much welcome. :)  
**


	8. Absence of Fear

**VIII. Absence of Fear**

_Muscle and sinew  
Velvet and stone  
This vessel is haunted  
It creaks and moans  
My bones call to you  
In a separate skin  
I'll make myself translucent  
To let you in  
-Jewel Kilcher_

Rowan sat next to the window, staring out into the gray dawn. Frost covered the ground, mist hung in the air, droplets of rain fell from the sky. After leaving Reid's party, she'd gone home and hadn't slept. Hunter and Tyler iterated to Caleb and Pogue what had happened. Reid likely would have gotten an intervention if it hadn't been for the fact that after Dizzy fainted, he left the house and hadn't been seen since.

Rowan had scried for him an hour ago. He was at the Dells.

She wasn't angry at Reid. All she felt was a failure for not being able to guide him to his ascension without mishap. Isn't that what she was supposed to do as the Keeper of the Covenant? But she screwed up again. She didn't peg Chase as a threat even after she'd first seen him. She couldn't stop Caleb from telling Sarah, or Pogue from telling Kate. She hadn't been able to stop her brother from meeting Chase alone. Now, she had failed at protecting Reid from his Power.

A hot tear rolled down her cheek. Rowan was heedless of the pain in her back as she tucked her legs closer against her chest. She wanted the big armchair to swallow her whole. A big black hole opening beneath her would be welcome about now.

The previous night replayed in her mind. Mostly it was Reid's haunted, aghast look that stayed with her. The last she saw of him before he left. She tried to go after him but Hunter held her back for her own safety. Though the only danger she feared was for Reid.

Why hadn't he told her that it was as bad as that? Tyler said he was using in his sleep, and Reid made him promise not to tell her.

_Why didn't you tell me? I would have found something to help you. Didn't you trust me?_

"Row?"

She sniffed, head turning towards the door. She hadn't even heard her brother come in. Caleb sat in the chair near hers. And Rowan thought that she was sorry his night with Judy had ended on a sour note. Caleb probably had been having a good time, the first in a long while.

"How're you feeling?" he asked. He let Bruce Lee jump on his lap and curl up.

Rowan shrugged. "I should have known it was that bad."

He shook his head. "None of this is your fault."

"Yes, it is. I'm supposed to see you guys through, and I'm just screwing up every time!" she cried.

Caleb's heart clenched hearing his sister's pain. Would it ever stop? "You haven't messed up, Rowan."

She scoffed self-contemptuously. "How many people did Chase hurt before I caught on? How long has Reid been hurting this badly and I didn't do something? I'm supposed to 'preserve' the Covenant and I haven't done a very good job of that."

He winced. "That's mine and Pogue's fault. Not yours. And Reid was hiding it pretty well, none of us really saw."

She settled her head on her knees. "I wish there was a way to resign as Keeper. You need someone better."

"I don't think there's any person better at taking care of us than you, Lil Bit." His words didn't seem to ease her. Mostly she looked tired, defeated.

Rowan sighed. "Dizzy saw."

"Yeah." So he was told.

"I'm not sure exactly what she saw," Rowan went on. "But enough to make her faint."

"Don't worry about that right now."

Her eyes met her brother's heavily. "That's what I'm supposed to do."

Caleb remembered him snapping at her about taking the Keeper thing too seriously. That had been said blindly without thinking, but really what he saw now was his sister, not necessarily worried about preserving the Covenant, but preserving them, in a way. It was what she had always done, since she could boss them around, or since she learned to cook, knit; whatever it took to make them happy and smiling.

"No matter what, Rowan," he said. "Keepers and Covenant aside. You will always first be my sister."

At that, she smiled softly.

Caleb stood up, coaxed her from her chair. "Come on, you need some sleep." He supported her by the elbow, almost feeling her weakness.

"Did you and Judy have fun?" she asked as she got under the covers.

He chuckled a little. "Yeah."

She nodded, her eyes were already sagging. "Good." Rowan curled up into a ball. "Love you, Cay," she mumbled.

He stayed with her until she fell asleep, the slight wrinkle between her brow indicating that it wasn't an entirely peaceful one. The three animals were spread out around her like a protective barrier. As he got up to go back to his own room, Ernie quietly followed him, padding alongside him.

"Thanks, boy," he said, patting the German shepherd on his head.

His initial reaction to last night had been anger. But Rowan insisted that it wasn't Reid's fault. There was obviously something deeper going on. Now, Caleb's anger had dissipated into worried frustration for Reid. Sure, he got on him a lot about using, but only because he cared.

None of them had gotten through to him these past few weeks though. Maybe he needed some higher authority, Caleb thought. A person he would least expect.

He dialed the number on his cell. He was out of state, but it wasn't impossible for Reid's dad to get back here in a flash.

----

Dizzy's eyes flickered open to reveal an unfamiliar bedroom. It was lavish but impersonal, indicating a guest area. The sheets that covered her were 100 percent Egyptian cotton, and the bedspread was thick, patterned with intricate threading. The goose-down pillows felt divine under her throbbing head. The more she woke up, the stronger the ache in her backside became. Little by little the events of the previous night came together.

The door opened. Tyler stood there with a tray in his hands.

"You're up," he said.

She nodded warily. Dizzy put herself in an upright position, slowly, so the room wouldn't spin, saying nothing to her boyfriend of almost a year.

Tyler cleared his throat uncomfortably, set the tray of toast, eggs, pancakes, and orange juice on a table.

"Where am I?" she finally asked.

"Oh. Still at Reid's house. You uh…only woke up for a few moments after last night." _And I sort of put a sleeping spell on you. But just a tiny one._

"I see…"

He approached her cautiously. Sat down on the side of the bed. He wasn't entirely sure how much she remembered from last night. Actually, he wasn't even sure how much she had witnessed.

"And why am I here, Tyler?" she inquired, trying to maintain some control.

"You don't remember?"

"Duh," she replied. She pursed her lips. Deep brown eyes scanned the room. Her hands were laced on her lap, hair askew from a fretful sleep.

"Nothing at all?"

Dizzy hesitated. "I'm not entirely sure what I saw, Tyler."

The fact that she was talking proper set off alarm bells in his mind. Tyler hadn't spoken to the rest of them about what to tell Dizzy. But he couldn't bring himself to lie to her. It wasn't like Kate or Sarah; one had guessed, and the other had been told unnecessarily.

"You fainted," he told her.

"Yes, my butt hurts."

His mouth quivered in a smile.

"_So_ not funny!" she exclaimed.

He nodded. "I know. You're right." Pause. "Tell me what you think you saw."

Dizzy's eyes became troubled. "Reid, like, totally threw a watery ball at Hunter. And Hunter… He stopped it and then it went back and hit Reid in the chest. He…" Dizzy was collecting her thoughts, trying to make sense of them. "He opened his eyes and…" Then she had dropped.

"And…?"

"Is Reid on drugs or something? PCP? Meth?" she demanded. "Is that why he's been acting all hinky?"

Tyler was silent. "Reid's…not on drugs."

"So his eyes totally weren't the color of the finest obsidian?"

Just like his Dizzy to refer to a color like the artist she was. "No." He sighed. "No, they were."

"I'm at a loss here, Tyler Simms."

"I know. Listen, Maria…there are some things about me that you don't know. And I want to tell you, but right now… I know this is asking a lot, but…can you sit on this a while? After, I promise I'll try to explain everything."

The stretch of quiet went on so long he thought it would snap.

"That is asking a lot." But Dizzy could see the strain this was even taking on her Tyler Bear. She sighed. "It's not just your secret to tell, is it?"

He was taken aback at her intuition. Deep down, he was sort of expecting her to receive this about as well as Sarah and Kate had. Not because he thought little of Dizzy, no, but because he had seen how much Sarah had liked Caleb, and how much Kate had, or did, love Pogue, and both of them acted as if his brothers were cursed or something.

"It's not," he answered.

She kneaded the bedspread. "And Rowan knows?"

He nodded.

Silence. "All right. I can do that."

He breathed relief. "Thank you." He risked it. Reached out and held her hand. After a moment she squeezed back. "I love you, you know." Tyler's eyes held the depth of his conviction. "You're the only girl I've ever loved."

Dizzy sniffed. "I love you, too." She glanced at the tray. "Is that for me?"

Tyler smiled. "Yeah." He got up, took the tray, placed it over her lap.

She used the silver fork and knife to cut a piece of the pancake. Hesitated. Then held out the fork with the golden bit to Tyler. He smiled, opened is mouth, and Dizzy fed it to him.

----

Reid was sitting on the damp sand, letting the drizzle of the chilled morning soak through his clothes. The breeze ruffled his wet hair. He still wore his t-shirt and jeans from the night before. The sun was just rising; purple, pink, and orange faint behind the gray clouds. No idea how long he'd been out here, he sighed, inhaling the salt air. Waves crashed against the cliffs, sending ocean spray in his direction.

After leaving the party he had walked, just walked, anywhere. Away. As far as he could get. Eventually he ended up here at the Dells, fallen asleep for a while. The scene had played over and over in his mind. Had he really hit Rowan? Almost… Christ, if she hadn't gotten his attention he would have almost forced her to… Reid could feel the disgust churning in his stomach at the thought. He had really fucked up this time.

No one had come after him. His cell phone was filled with texts and voice messages, but none from Rowan. He recalled her trying to go after him last night. Hunter had stopped her. Reid was glad he had. Would he have hurt her again?

_I'm so sorry, Row._

His head dropped, he squeezed back the tears that threatened to fall. He wouldn't cry. He didn't deserve any relief after what he had done.

Reid had been hoping he could make it to his birthday, thinking then the edge would wear off, he would show Rowan that he had everything under control and she would never have to worry about him losing it. He had always been the most capricious with his Power, not out of compulsion; but boredom, fun, showing off. Never because he felt he _had_ to. Until now.

His phone beeped again, sounding another voice message. He took his cell phone out of his pocket but didn't check the message. His main screen had a picture of Rowan on it. A candid shot of her smiling that beautiful smile he loved. He pulled up his photo album, more pictures of Rowan and him. One in particular made him half-grin. He'd fallen asleep on Rowan's couch in the apothecary with Bubbe cradled in the crook of his arm, and Bruce Lee flopped on his chest like a drunk.

He knew he should go back home. Face this.

"Reid."

So sunk in his despair, he figured the voice was his imagination. Reid heard it again, turning his head this time. His blue eyes betrayed his surprise.

"Dad? What are you doing here?" his voice was raspy from lack of sleep.

Joseph Garwin was slightly taller than his son, but shared similar features. The blond hair, clear blue eyes, fair skin, sharp cheekbones. Now, father saw his son with a lost look on his face. He hadn't quite seen it of this magnitude since Rowan had been in a coma.

"Come on," Joseph said. He helped his son up to his feet, and they walked to Joseph's car.

He turned on the heater once they were inside. Reid looked sidelong at his father, still wondering what he was doing here. How he knew where he was. They didn't speak as Joseph took his son back home. When they returned, he told Reid to get cleaned up and meet him in his study.

Twenty minutes later Reid was sitting with his dad in his office. It was as large as an average sized living room. A big mahogany desk manned one half. Shelves of books were lined neatly against the walls. Then there was a small sitting area. They sat across from one another.

Joseph handed his son a cup of hot coffee which he held between his hands gratefully. For once, Joseph wasn't speaking to Reid from his desk. They were on equal ground here. Yet Reid would not meet his eyes. There had been few man to man talks between them over the years. Joseph's dad had not been the most demonstrative, in turn, neither had Joseph.

"How are you feeling?" he inquired.

Reid shrugged one shoulder. "Okay." A lie.

"You want to tell me the truth?"

Faint amusement flickered in Reid's eyes and he chuckled dryly. "Like shit, Dad."

Joseph's lips curved into a small smile. "That's better." He glanced at the old leather book beside him, picked it up, handed it to his son who took it reluctantly.

Reid set down his cup, flipped through the yellowed pages that were penned with names and dates of his ancestors. No details or descriptions. Reid closed the book, looked at his dad inquiringly.

"Those are the names of our forebears who became addicted to their Power," Joseph explained.

A lump formed in his throat. "You take this out so you could add my name?" he said snidely.

"No," his father replied, ignoring his son's tone. _Ah, Meredith, I'm no good at this. _Joseph cleared his throat, deciding to try a different tact. "You know, before your mother and I became engaged, she almost left me."

His brow rose a little. "Seriously?"

He nodded. "Yes. I told her about the Covenant because I wanted to marry her. She took it surprisingly well. We continued to see each other. But one day, I made the bed using my Power. Then later on I cleaned the kitchen with my Power, too." He laughed wryly, remembering. "Your mother was not happy. She had the most disdainful expression on her face. 'Is that what you use your magic for? To do the most menial tasks? No wonder you get addicted. It's not because your magic is too strong, it's because you're too lazy!''"

Reid smirked.

"She stormed out. Didn't answer my calls. I thought about what she had said. Made a lot of sense." He took a sip of his coffee. "But I was determined to get her back. She finally agreed to see me. I cleaned my loft from top to bottom. Did my laundry, ruining all my clothes in the process. I cooked dinner, which came out burnt and unpalatable. Your mother laughed and laughed. Then I started laughing." He was smiling now. "We were married four months later. I haven't used my Power to make my bed since."

Reid snorted. He had had no idea that his father once used his Power as casually as Reid did now.

"Your mother kept me in check many times over the years. I might have slipped if it weren't for her. Then you were born." Silence. "The first time I held you, I promised that I would set a good example. Because I would not have chosen this for you, Reid."

"Why? Because you think I'll slip?"

He shook his head. "Because there is no coming back from this. It is not like becoming an alcoholic with twelve step programs and AA meetings on every block. There are no detox programs or medications that can help. That is why when you first feel like you're losing your grip…you have to say something, son."

Reid looked away.

"Your mother and I…we love you. I know we don't say it enough, but we do. There's no shame in asking for help."

He bit the inside of his cheek, hard. "I hit Rowan," he said under his breath.

"I know."

"I hurt her!" Reid blurted vehemently. "I love her more than anything and I…" Shit, he was going to cry. Not in front of his dad, no fucking way. He shot up in his seat, turned his back as he glared out the window.

After a few minutes, Joseph joined him. "Rowan understands."

"That doesn't matter."

"The very fact that you're acknowledging what you did, taking responsibility, even though you had so little control, is proof that you're not lost, Reid," his dad told him. "You've got a lot of people who care about you." He made his son meet his eyes. "Do not drop anchor here."

----

Around noon Rowan had gone to Lucius' cabin, found something she knew would help. She did some additional reading, journals that previous Keepers had written, about the Covenant's ascensions. There were others who had trouble like Reid was having. Even some who hardly ever used their Power went on the fritz before their birthdays. Several journals only speculated as to why. Perhaps it was the stars they were born under or something completely random; but never a solid conclusion. And with no conclusion, there was no remedy. Either way, Reid wasn't alone.

Reid hadn't called her, but Caleb told her that he had called Reid's dad. So Rowan left a brief message on Reid's cell, just telling him that she needed to speak with him when he was ready and that she loved him.

It was around six in the evening when Tyler called and asked everyone to meet at Reid's place. Caleb and Rowan rode together. It was raining heavily by this time, which made Rowan twice as anxious. Caleb had asked her what solution she had found, but his sister wanted to talk to Reid about it alone before she explained it to the rest of them.

Only Pogue and Hunter were absent when the two siblings arrived. Rowan was oddly nervous. They convened in the den of the Garwin mansion.

Reid ever so slowly raised his bowed head, stood up, meeting Rowan's eyes. His were red-rimmed, sorrowful; he looked like he'd been put through the wringer. Then he glanced at Caleb, surprised to find no anger in his brother's brown eyes; just obvious concern. Caleb gave no words of lecture or reprimand.

Well, Rowan wasn't having this. She went right to her boyfriend and hugged him for all he was worth – everything. He buried his head in her neck, embracing her for all she was worth – everything.

When Pogue and Hunter came, more hugs went around. More like back thumping and inquiries as to how Reid was feeling. They sat together in a group. Reid continued to grasp Rowan's hands in his.

"Can I talk to Reid alone for a minute?" Rowan asked.

After a brief hesitation, they nodded, left the den.

Reid was wary of himself, being alone with Rowan. He wanted to move further down the couch, but couldn't bring himself to let go of her.

"I…" He had to clear his throat.

"You don't have to apologize, Reid."

"No, I do," he insisted, finally looking at her. "I hurt you. I'll never forgive myself for that."

"It was an accident. And I'm fine."

Reid shook his head tiredly.

"If you want my forgiveness you have it," Rowan told him. "I don't hold anything against you." Pause. "I do wish you had told me."

He sighed. "I didn't want you to doubt me."

"I wouldn't. I know that you guys have problems before you Ascend." She told him about what she'd read earlier that day about the others who had had the same problems. "See? It's not your fault."

Nevertheless, he still felt guilty. The pounding in his head was still there, but he was too tired to give in to it. He couldn't stay tired forever.

"I have something that might help," she suggested tentatively.

"What?"

She hesitated. "It's called a Blood Bond. Other Keepers did this, too. For those who were having a really hard time with their Power for no apparent reason. It doesn't even have to be a Keeper."

Rowan explained it to him before he could protest. It had to be done the very moment he Ascended. A cut on each of their palms, blood mixed together; the Power would hit the other, too, that person acting as a filter.

"It's permanent. And works better if you trust the person completely." She shrugged a little. "That's why some of the results recorded in the past weren't that great. Some of the Sons didn't trust the other person to act as a buffer to their Power. They were afraid it might be diluted or not entirely theirs."

Reid remained silent for a while, thinking about it. He thought about his dad telling him that there was no shame in asking for help. You had to nip the problem in the bud from the onset and not wait until it got worse and possibly irreversible.

"If I did…" he said, "who would…?"

"I will, if you want. Not as a Keeper, but me. Unless you want someone else."

Reid saw no doubt in her eyes, no hesitation. "I can't ask you to do that, Row."

"Then don't ask," she replied. "Just tell me if you want me or not."

_I always want you. _

"Do you trust me?" she asked.

"You know I do. With my life."

"Then let me do this."

He lapsed back into quiet. Reid really couldn't imagine binding himself to anyone but Rowan. Not that he didn't trust his brothers; but with Rowan, it felt the most right.

"I won't be able to control your powers, and they won't be any weaker," she added.

That was the least of Reid's worries. He knew Rowan would never take advantage of him. "Will it hurt?"

She paused. "You might feel some-"

"No," Reid interrupted. "Will it hurt _you_?"

Rowan smiled lightly, shook her head.

"I love you, Rowan."

"I love you, too."

----

They sat in front of one another in the old Putnam barn. Rowan had instructed the others to stand north, south, east, and west around the perimeter. Hunter had enough supernatural blood to also act as a buffer to the energy that was bound to spread once Reid Ascended. Rowan was only sorry that it was raining like cats and dogs outside and they were getting soaked.

One minute before his birthday, Rowan picked up her athame that had been placed next to her. It was a five inch double-edged blade, with a traditional ebony handle and etched pummel.

"I am a Circle, I am healing you," she said quietly.

"You are a Circle. You are healing me," he answered.

"Unite us, be one."

"Unite us, be as one."

Rowan cut a three inch diagonal split in her right hand, wincing slightly at the sting. "My blood."

Thunder boomed, lightning snapped.

"Are you scared?" she asked him.

Even in the dim lighting, his eyes shone bright. "No."

Reid gave her his right hand and she split an identical cut in his palm.

"Your blood," Rowan said.

Their hands clasped together tightly, their spilled blood mixing into one another's lacerations just at the moment Reid Ascended.

"Our blood," they said together.

* * *

**Okay, officially bonded. :) Hope it wasn't too corny. I didn't want to make it out to be some huge, elaborate thing because it was more the meaning of the ritual that mattered.**

**Thank you for reading, it is much appreciated.**

**Feedback is welcome.**

**I noticed some new people are tapping into this story. Whatcha think?  
**


	9. Iris

**IX. Iris**

_And I don't want the world to see me,  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand.  
When everything's made to be broken,  
I just want you to know who I am  
-Goo Goo Dolls_

Wednesday after school, Dizzy got the official scoop. They were all at Pogue and Hunter's apartment, including Kate. They let Tyler tell her. It was an easier decision to make than with Sarah or Kate, because Dizzy had flat out seen something, something very big, and it couldn't be swept under the rug. She had kept her promise, and hadn't pestered Tyler about it despite being anxious for an explanation. So, now, here she sat, with an oddly complacent expression on her usually animated face.

Tyler was sweating bullets, hoping that she wouldn't reject him.

"You okay, Diz?" Rowan asked her friend.

She glanced at all of them. So many thoughts were bouncing around in her brain. Witches. Telekinetics. Rowan was a witch, Keeper, Whitelighter, some of this stuff was going to take longer to assimilate. In the end, her first words were:

"So, is this why you guys are, like, freakishly beautiful?"

There was a pregnant pause before they all burst into laughter.

"Well, I know that I-"

"Shut up, Reid," the males said collectively.

Reid was feeling much better, almost back to his old self. The Blood Bond had gone perfectly, he felt no regrets, just a huge wealth of relief that he'd made it through and was doing okay. The incessant throb in his head had dissipated, he wasn't using in his sleep, and his mood swings were gone.

"And Hunter, you move things? Like Carrie?" Dizzy prodded.

Reid snickered.

"Yeah," Hunter replied.

Pause. "Can I see?" Dizzy smiled.

He shrugged. Reid was levitated in the air, almost touching the ceiling, and turned upside down. Ernie began to bark, Bruce Lee went dook-crazy, and Bubbe hopped up on a shelf, trying to get close to Reid.

"Put me the fuck down," the blond demanded. "I'm still recovering, you know."

Dizzy was watching with apt amazement. "Wow."

"Gently!" Reid snapped as Hunter let him go. He huffed, exasperated, when his butt touched the chair that he'd been sharing with Rowan. "Sleep with one eye open, Mercer." Reid got a white-toothed smile in response.

"Shh," Rowan told the animals. "Come here, Bubbe." The cat came back down and plopped herself on Rowan's lap.

Ernie went to Caleb, set his head on the human's knee for a good ear-scratch. Bruce Lee went to Hunter.

"Do your eyes turn black, too?" she asked Tyler.

"Yeah."

"All of you?"

Caleb and Pogue nodded. They eyed one another, stunned at how easy Maria was taking all this in. Kate was dying to ask Dizzy if she found this at all scary, freaky, demented. But no, she was sitting there like she was having fun at a magic show.

"And the aging thing…"

"No changing that," Tyler said.

"Oh." Diz went quiet for a moment, then shrugged. "Well, there's a drawback to every gift, ya know?"

_It's not a gift, it's a curse!_ Kate wanted to yell. _They're damned!_

Rowan half-smiled. She always knew Dizzy had a good heart. The others were, naturally, skeptical of Dizzy's receptiveness. Tyler was the most nervous, worried he'd lose his girlfriend over this.

Dizzy licked her lips, another question coming to mind. "Caleb, is this why Sarah, like, totally abandoned you?"

"Uh…" Caleb hesitated.

"Yeah," Reid said for him. "She flaked out once she saw that being on Caleb's arm wasn't all roses." He rolled his eyes contemptuously.

"God, Reid, don't you have any sympathy?" Kate blurted. "She was used as bait, and put under a spell for crying out loud."

"And Caleb saved her life," Reid retorted. "Ungrateful…" The rest was muttered.

"That is just…so wrong," Dizzy said, looking at Caleb compassionately.

"It's okay, Diz," he assured her with a faint grin.

Reid scoffed, but held his tongue. He put his arm around Rowan.

A few more questions went around, mostly light ones, before Rowan warmed up dinner. Except for Kate, most everyone was at ease.

Pogue felt his girlfriend's tension the entire night. Why couldn't she be as easy-going about this as Dizzy? That's what he wanted, but he felt Kate slipping away from him more and more each day, but neither was acknowledging the broadening gap between them. So, when she left with Tyler, Dizzy, and Reid, his heart was heavy.

"You okay?" Rowan asked him when he closed the door.

"Yeah, I'm good, Lil Bit," he said.

Rowan didn't believe him for a second. She left with her brother, Ernie, and Bruce Lee fifteen minutes later. They had school tomorrow and with everything that had occurred within the past few days, they all needed their rest.

"'Night, Hunt," Pogue said.

""Night," Hunter called back.

Pogue went tiredly to his room, ready for his head to hit the pillow. First, he grabbed a bottle of water. When he opened the door to his room, an orange tabby cat was curled up on the middle of his bed.

"Ah, company," he said, and Bubbe meowed.

Rowan's doing, probably. He half-smiled, plunked down on his bed. Bubbe relocated to his chest, purred when he pet her on her head. Pogue checked his cell phone. Back when he and Kate were first dating they would always text each other to say good night, even if they'd already said it earlier in person. He was trying to figure out when it had begun to get sour, he and Kate. At their first anniversary things had still been good. He'd made love to her for the first time. Kate had told him she wasn't a virgin before that so there were no surprises. He hadn't been a virgin either. Although he had attempted to squeeze some information out of her about this guy. Pogue had a tiny jealousy problem. So what?

Kate laughed and told him his name was Ethan. A year older than her. His parents were good friends with her parents. And over the summer Pogue had met him briefly, during the week he had stayed with Kate. But it was a pretty hazy recollection as other more important things had been on his mind.

Was it his jealousy that had pushed Kate away? Pogue felt justified in his suspicion of Chase and wanting Kate to stay away from him. He didn't feel he was particularly over-protective or –possessive. He just got a bit rankled when Kate flirted with other guys in front of him. Trying to get his attention maybe, Caleb had once suggested. Not a good way to go about it was Pogue's opinion.

He had also taken Hunter's advice and instituted "date night." He mostly let Kate pick the places because whatever he proposed was rarely on par with her. Pogue supposed they just had different interests. After telling her about his powers, he had thought he'd be able to be more open with her, closer; but the opposite happened.

He sighed so heavily that Bubbe almost slipped of his chest. The feline gave him an admonishing glare, magnanimously settling back down as if to say _I'll cut you some slack this time, don't do it again, dearie_.

He chuckled. Sometimes these animals were almost human-like.

"Thanks for putting up with me," he said.

Bubbe meowed.

----

"So, how'd it go?" Sarah asked Kate once she was finished readying for bed.

Kate had a scowl on her face as she practically stomped from the bathroom to her bed. "Dizzy was fine with it. Can you believe that?"

Sarah's brow rose. "Seriously?"

"Yeah. But she wasn't put under any spells or anything, otherwise she'd be singing a different tune," Kate said snidely.

Sarah didn't want to be reminded of what she had gone through with Chase. Sometimes she still checked her bed for spiders. Shuddering, she got under the covers.

"And Reid's back to his asshole self again."

"What do you mean?"

Kate scoffed. "When Dizzy asked if this was why you dumped Caleb, he went on his self-righteous spiel. Reid, not Caleb."

A curdle of anger welled inside of Sarah. "What did she say?"

"She said it was 'so wrong'," Kate imitated Dizzy.

Now it was Sarah's turn to sneer. "Whatever. She doesn't know the whole story."

She snorted. "I'm sure Rowan will tell her." Kate punched the pillow, turned off the lamp, settled herself in bed.

After a few minutes of stewing in silence, Sarah asked, "Does Caleb's sister ever say anything?"

"No. She rarely ever outright insults someone. But the way Pogue talks about her, you'd think she was a saint."

Sarah chuckled. "Yeah, I thought the same thing when Caleb talked about her, too."

Both girls were too revved up to go to sleep. They listened to the strong wind outside, whooshing like a vacuum.

"Are you staying with Pogue?"

Kate didn't answer for a moment. Two years. Where had the love gone? She didn't know how much more of this she could take. He was so neglectful, different. He favored his 'brothers' and 'sister' and his precious bike more than he did her. The fact that he had trusted her with his secret didn't enter her mind; or how much courage it had taken for him to tell her either.

"I don't know," she finally answered.

----

Tyler walked Maria to her dorm room, silent the whole time, as was she.

"Maria?" he said when they got to her door.

"Hmm?"

"Listen…after you've had some time to think about this and you decided…"

Dizzy stopped him by putting soft fingers over his lips. "Shh. Don't say that, Ty. I mean, sure, it's like, a lot to take in, but it doesn't change how I feel about you."

He was still uncertain.

"I feel…honored that you're trusting me with this."

"Yeah?"

She smiled, nodded. "Yeah."

He kissed her, hard, lovingly, savoring the taste of her flavored lip gloss. But when he said goodbye, turning to go back to his room, he missed the faltering smile on her lips and the conflicted emotion on her face.

* * *

**I though I'd leave a big of a cliffhanger because I don't leave enough of them. :D**

**Thanks for the lovely reviews I've gotten so far. It's much appreciated. :D  
**


	10. After the Love Has Gone

**X. After the Love Has Gone**

_After the love has gone  
Only fools carry on  
We've been hurting for so long  
And we both know that it's wrong  
Then we just don't belong  
After the love has gone  
-Steps_

The next day at school, Rowan had to go to Reid's dorm, again, to wake him up for class. Sometimes she thought Reid purposely ignored Tyler's summons just so she would go wake him up instead. Not that she minded, she liked rousing him from sleep with soft kisses and seeing his hazy pleasure when he opened his eyes. Hell, not everyone would be glad to see the person who was shaking them out of their slumber.

So, this morning, when she kissed him, turned out his was playing possum.

"Come here," he said, his voice gruff from sleep.

Reid pulled her in his arms, making her settle down next to him in spoon fashion. He nuzzled the back of her neck, brushing his lips across her skin. She felt the bristles of his unshaved chin.

"Hey, hey, no hanky panky," she teased.

"Hanky panky?" he laughed. "I kind of like that."

She snorted.

"Seriously, no one's ever said that to me before."

"That's because you're used to girls just all over you before anyone gets a word in edgewise."

"Well…you're the only girl I've been with in a long time. I like your way much better." Truth.

Rowan turned her head to look at him. "How long?" she asked with one brow arched.

Reid grinned. "I'll have you know that I was celibate for damned near a year before we got together."

"Really?"

"Hell, yeah. But, ya know, I could barely think of anyone but you…"

"Oh, you're such a charmer in the morning," she exclaimed, rolling her eyes.

"You're the only one I have energy for in the morning."

She giggled. They were quiet for a while, she was pretty sure Reid was lulling back into sleep. Honestly, Rowan didn't feel much like getting up either. The events of the past few days had taken a toll on her although she was hiding it nicely. She'd get her second wind back. It was just that stress and fear triggered nightmares and subsequent anxiety that filtered into her conscious moments. Rowan was thinking about going to a few group counseling sessions. They always helped center her. It was nice to know that she wasn't alone in lingering PTSD; panic and depression that sometimes just couldn't be shaken. There were some people in the group who were still affected by things that had occurred several years ago. A burglary, a mugging, seeing someone die. Things that just remained burrowed deep inside your core.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Mmm-hmm," she answered. Rowan got up. "How are you feeling?"

After the Blood Bonding they were both sort of wrung out. She had had to invoke her own Power to rise against his, and using her own always left her sapped. They still wore bandages over their palms while their cuts healed.

"Pretty good," he said.

"I'm glad." She ran her fingers through his hair.

"Oooh," he groaned, a lopsided grin on his lips. "Keep doing that."

Rowan laughed. "No, you have to get up. Come on." When he protested again, she said, "More kisses if you get up."

His eyes popped open. "Are you bribing me?" He smirked. "You know I'll hold you to that."

"I'm sure you will. Ten minutes."

Reid got out of bed, but not without a disgruntled moue. "You drive a hard bargain. I blame you for this."

Rowan looked at the bulge in his boxers, blushed. "Yeah, yeah. Just get your sweet ass ready."

"Oh, I love when you talk dirty!"

----

"What's your problem, Baby Boy?" Reid hissed. His friend was bouncing his knee up and down, biting his thumbnail. Usually Tyler paid attention during class but it was obvious his mind was anywhere but on Ms. March's lecture on U.S. Government and the project she was assigning.

Tyler winced, his teeth meeting the skin under his nail. His eyes were locked on the back of his girlfriend's head two rows to the left. She had been acting strange since this morning. Was she having second thoughts? Not as sure as she'd been last night?

"She's avoiding me," he whispered back.

Reid followed Tyler's gaze. "I thought she was cool with it."

"Me, too. But now she's…"

Then, Millicent Cromwell, Miss Tight-Ass as Reid called her since freshman year, whipped around in her seat, glaring daggers at the two of them.

"Will you _cease_ shaking the floor?" she demanded.

Tyler stopped bouncing his leg. "Sorry."

Reid snorted, then pasted a smirk on his face. "You should ask nicely, Millicent."

Her already thin lips became thinner as she pursed them in obvious disdain and her cheeks turned red. Just as she opened her mouth to retort, the teacher interrupted.

"Ms. Cromwell, and Mr. Garwin," Ms. March declared.

Millicent snapped back around. "Pardon?"

Judy leaned into her best friend. "You just got paired with Reid."

By the look on her face one would think she'd gotten set up with the devil. "Ms. March, can I-"

"Ah, come on, seriously?" Reid exclaimed.

The teacher sighed in exasperation. "No complaining as to whom I've paired you with, people." She went on. "Miss Danvers and Mr. Abbot."

Oh, that was even more distasteful to Reid than being paired with Millicent.

"Mr. Danvers and Miss Miller…"

The bell rang, most students complacent with their lot, quite a few openly discontented. Dizzy made a beeline for the door, Tyler barely catching up with her.

"Maria," he said, catching her by the elbow.

She wouldn't meet his eye. "Oh, I have to go Ty, I'm…not feeling well."

Tyler watched her go, bewildered; apprehension curdling in his stomach. Not feeling well?

"Listen, Garwin," Millicent was saying in the background, "we'll work out a schedule when we can meet. I expect you to-"

Reid rolled his eyes. "That's nice. You can make out your little schedule, I'm going to go eat lunch." He turned away from her to look for Rowan. She was just parting from Aaron.

Aaron grinned at Reid before walking away.

"Don't," Rowan said to Reid knowing he was going to shout something to Aaron. She took his hand, headed towards the cafeteria.

"Do you know what's up with Dizzy?" Tyler asked her. "She said she wasn't feeling well."

"Maybe it's that time of the month," Reid spoke. "You know how chicks are about that."

Rowan glared at him. "Do you?" she asked dryly.

He grinned sheepishly. "Well…"

"She didn't say anything to me, Ty," Rowan said, growing wary herself.

Tyler wasn't going to be able to concentrate on anything for the rest of the day if he didn't get to the bottom of this. He told them he was going to find her. When he got to her dorm he heard crying behind the door.

"Maria?"

"One minute!"

There was some shuffling before the door opened. Her eyes were red-rimmed and splotchy.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing," she said with a too bright smile.

Tyler looked at her, concerned. He edged passed her and shut the door. She stood in the middle of the room like a marooned soul. Her bottom lip quivered and silent tears spilled over her face. In a quiet, shivery voice, she said, "I lied."

His body went rigid, the knot in his stomach was becoming tighter. He licked his dry lips, shut his eyes tight before opening them again. "Then why did you-"

"I'm sorry! I just didn't want you to think…" She sobbed, shoulders shaking.

He hated seeing her cry like this. He put a hand on her shoulder.

"I'm not what I said I was!" Maria turned away.

Confusion was settling in now. "Then…what did you lie about?"

Her big brown eyes widened. She sniffled. "You're going to hate me."

"No, I won't. It can't be that bad." _Could it?_

Dizzy plopped on her bed. "I thought I could…but then you told me about _you_…and I lied."

Tyler sat next to her. "You might want to start at the beginning."

It took a few shuddering breaths before she could compose herself. "Remember…it was, like, a long time ago. We were just talking…and…I knew you weren't a virgin because you'd slept with Tami Green freshman year, and fooled around with Nadine."

His face turned red. Nothing stayed a secret at Spensers. Love lives anyway. Tyler cleared his throat. "Yeah."

"And then you asked me if I was a…virgin…" She started to cry again. "And…and…"

"You told me you were."

She put her head in her hands, shook her head. "I lied."

He was quiet for a minute. "Oh…" He swallowed a lump in his throat. "Who?"

Pause. "David."

David. Her ex-boyfriend David who had cheated on her, and her friend from Napa had sent her the image on her cell phone. They had been together for almost three years, complete with a promise ring as a gift from David.

"When?" he finally asked.

"Not when we were together!" On her feet now, she began pacing. "It was only one time, it didn't last that long, it hurt, and he went to sleep right after!"

Tyler smiled.

"Why are you smiling?" she raved. "Are you mad? Say something!"

_Because I'd never leave you unsatisfied,_ were the first words that popped in his head, but he didn't say that.

"I'm not mad at you, Maria," he said. "Why did you tell me you were a virgin though?"

She hung her head. "I…didn't want you to think that I, like, was casual about that sort of thing. And that…I wanted you to think that I was…"

Tyler kissed her, tasting the salt of her tears on her lips. With the pads of his thumbs, he wiped her tears away. "I love you."

Surprise shuttered on her face. "But…I lied. You're supposed to be mad! Aren't you mad?"

He shook his head. "I wish you had trusted me not to think less of you because you aren't a virgin though."

She sniffed. He handed her a tissue and she daintily blew her nose. She was one of those graceful criers. "So… I can still call you Tyler Bear?"

Tyler laughed, hugged her. In his arms, she asked, "What did you think I was talking about?"

"I thought you changed your mind about my secret."

She gasped. "No! I think it's great. In fact, I have, like, _so_ many questions…"

"Like what?"

"Like…do you use a wand?"

----

"So, tomorrow," Caleb was saying to Judy in the library. Halfway through lunch they had decided to discuss their project in a more quiet setting. He was happy that he'd gotten paired with her. "We're having a casual get-together at my place. Just movies and food. Do you want to come?"

Judy sat across from him. The sun was beating on her hair, making it look like a sunrise. "Who's 'we'?" she asked.

"Oh, just Pogue, Tyler, Reid, my sister, Hunter, his boyfriend… Do you want to invite Millicent?"

She laughed lightly. "I don't know if she'd take to that."

Caleb smiled. "What about you?"

Judy waffled in making a decision. Going over to his house? Was there really a get-together, or would all the people he mentioned magically disappear, oh so conveniently? The whisperings around school were already starting, and they'd only been hanging out together since last Saturday. They hadn't even had a date.

_Damn it, say something, Judy!_ "Okay. That sounds like fun." And a tingle went down her spine, seeing him grin, at her.

"Great. You'll get to try some of my sister's cooking then."

Judy liked hearing him talk about his sister the way he did. Most brothers would complain or something, but it was obvious that Caleb loved his little sister without reserve and had no qualms about admitting it.

She grinned at him, couldn't help it; Caleb just made her feel things she'd never felt before. And despite Millie's constant admonishments and warnings, Judy didn't stay away. She couldn't.

----

"Um…me and Sarah are kind of having a girl's night out, so I won't be able to make it," Kate told Pogue later that evening.

He nodded. It was their date night, she knew that, and she was bailing. "It's date night."

Her face was pained. "I know, I'm sorry. But she's been feeling sort of left out, you know?"

"Left out."

"Well, yeah, after being put in virtual exile." She was in front of her full-length mirror, holding up clothes in front of her, picking out an outfit for tomorrow.

"Isn't that kind of an exaggeration?" he asked.

She rolled her eyes. "Call it what you want. Even Blair Rush stopped seeing her after a couple of dates."

"That was because he didn't want to create any tension on the team."

"Someone could have told him that it wasn't a big deal. Then there wouldn't be any tension," she retorted.

"Caleb did tell him that."

"Then he wasn't very convincing."

Pogue sighed. He didn't see what it mattered anyway. Sarah wasn't short of any male company. Although she wasn't seeing one guy exclusively, she did go on plenty of dates; which was where she was right now. "Can we drop it? I don't want to fight."

"We're not fighting."

They lapsed into silence. Normally when they were alone they'd be making out or fooling around, but he couldn't remember the last time they'd kissed until they were breathless.

"Pogue?"

He came back from wherever it was he'd been. "Yeah?"

"You were looking at me funny." She was facing him now with a sly smile playing on her lips.

"I was?"

"Mmm-hmm." Kate didn't want to fight either. She coaxed him back on the bed and straddled him. "Want to help me change outfits?"

----

"I can't believe you're going," Millicent crowed for the thousandth time that day.

Judy was trying to choose a decent outfit. It was Friday after school, and she'd be leaving with Maria, Reid, and Tyler pretty soon. She wasn't usually concerned about what she wore; she was very much a jeans, comfortable footwear, t-shirt/blouse kind of individual.

"Don't make me more nervous," Judy replied.

They had been friends for years. Comrades in their outcast, unpopular grouping.

Millicent shook her head in distaste. "Since when do you care what you wear, Judy? It's like he's changing you."

"He's not," the redhead insisted. "I haven't changed."

She snorted. Millicent was tall and thin with chin-length brown hair and bangs, thin lips; most people said her best feature was her eyes, doe-eyed hazel rimmed with thick lashes. Not that she cared.

"Are you going to at least work on your project?"

Judy shrugged; finally decided on jeans, green cardigan sweater with a white shirt underneath. She let her hair down and brushed it to a sheen. She had had to get a new wardrobe after the thirteen pounds she'd lost over the summer while in Colorado, her home state. Her aunt was an athletic freak and had made her do yoga, rock climbing, roller-blading, tennis, and whatever other sport she did. By the end of the summer Judy had the figure of an athlete.

"I can't believe I got paired with Reid Garwin," Millicent complained.

Judy smiled. "Millie, you better just accept it."

"Easy for you to say. At least Caleb is studious about his schoolwork. Reid is a consummate slacker."

"How do you know?"

"Oh, come on! He is always falling asleep in class, never pays attention. If I fail this project…" Her face was already turning red at the very idea of something less than an A. "Conceited jerk," Millie uttered.

"He can't be that bad if Rowan's with him." Judy sat down on her bed, put her shoes on. "You should see them together. They're so cute."

Millie rolled her eyes. "Sure. He's probably cheating on her. He still flirts with anything in a skirt."

Judy saw that her friend was marking a paper with red ink. Millicent took her place as editor of the school newspaper very seriously. After Missy Ivers graduated last year, Millie had vied for the position and now ran Spensers' school paper with strict protocols and deadlines.

"Do you have your rough draft?" Millie asked.

Judy got it out of her binder and handed it to her.

A knock sounded at the door and Judy's heart thumped like a drum in her chest. Maria was standing on the other side with a smile on her face.

"You ready?" Dizzy asked cheerfully. "Hi, Millicent!"

"Hello, Maria," Millicent replied.

"Are you sure you don't want to come?" Dizzy asked. "It's going to be really fun."

"No, I'm quite fine. But thank you."

"Okay…"

Judy shrugged apologetically. "I'll see you later, Millie."

"Bye."

Maria wound her arm through Judy's as they walked down the halls. "I'm really glad you're coming. Caleb was, like, so totally happy."

"Really?"

"Duh, silly! He _likes_ you."

Judy's face turned red, but luckily her chipper companion said nothing more as they approached Tyler's black Hummer. Reid was swiping the keys from his friend with a big grin.

"Hey, Red!" Reid called.

She almost had to look behind her to see who he was talking to.

"Don't mind him," Tyler said, waving his hand at his friend dismissively.

Judy smiled nervously. Maria chattered with her the entire way, filling the silence for which Judy was grateful; she hadn't a clue what to say to them.

"Where did Pinkie say he was going?" Reid asked.

"A date with James," Maria replied.

"Who is this guy?" Reid questioned. "I'm beginning to think he's some imaginary friend."

"Don't say that!" she exclaimed. "I'm sure Pinkie just wants to make sure they're committed before he introduces us, that's all."

"Committed? What's the big deal?"

"Pinkie is Philip?" Judy interjected.

"Yeah," Tyler said. "He hates being called that though."

"Whatever, I'm going to jack his phone and see what's up," Reid said slyly.

They got to the Danvers' estate not long after. Already the sun was going down and it was significantly chillier. Judy had never been here before and she couldn't help but marvel over the structure. The grounds were beautiful, with a wading pool in front of the mansion.

The double doors opened before they got up the stairs. Judy heard a scuffle and a bark, she instantly went on alert.

"Ernie!" Caleb called. "Hold on." He knew Judy was afraid of dogs, even though she'd gotten to meet Ernie a few times last year. He had the big German shepherd by his collar. He smiled at Judy. "He remembers you."

Ernie was sitting dutifully, tongue lolling out of his mouth. His forelimb rose as if waving to Judy.

"See?"

Judy laughed.

"Where's Rowan?" Reid asked.

"Kitchen," Caleb told him. "Do you want me to take him away?" he asked Judy, and Ernie whined.

"No, it's okay." She approached cautiously with her hand out low. Ernie sniffed and licked, held out his paw for her, which she shook.

"You sure?" he asked.

Judy nodded, and he took her by the hand, led her to the kitchen with Ernie trailing alongside Judy. The kitchen was filled with chatter and the smells of delicious cooking.

"Hey, guys," Caleb got their attention. "Judy, this is Gabriel and Michael."

"_Oui, bonjour_," Gabriel said, smiling, offering his hand.

Michael, the more roguish of the twins, half-grinned, approaching the redhead languorously. "_Enchanté, mademoiselle_." He kissed her hand, dark smoldering eyes locked on hers.

Caleb's jaw tightened.

"You're not a Yankee," Michael said. "_Tres bien_, Caleb." He winked. "Just like Tyler."

"Mikey has a thing against Yankees," Reid informed Judy.

Just then, a yapping ankle-biter fled into the room with a ferret at its heels. It was a Yorkie that had two blue bows on her head. Michael grabbed up the dog before things got out of hand.

He said something in rapid-fire Cajun slang. "_Merde_."

"Still not too popular with your girlfriend's dog, huh?" Reid goaded. He had Bubbe in his arms, obviously in good accord with _his _girlfriend's animals.

Michael shot daggers at Reid.

Judy glared at Caleb, slightly overwhelmed at the large cast of diverse characters.

"Judy," Rowan said. "You chop tomatoes?"

"Uh, yeah," she said, glad to be given something, anything, to do. She joined Rowan at the counter, washed her hands, and began slicing. Her eyes flicked to the scars that wound around each of Rowan's wrists.

Caleb said a silent thank you to his sister. "Where'd he go?" He was looking at the ground for the ferret.

"Right here." Hunter pulled Bruce Lee away from one of the cupboards. "Let's give 'em dinner, then put them in their play room."

Caleb agreed and they did that. Within twenty minutes the animals were sedated.

"Damned ankle biter," Michael complained at the table.

"Your girl is going to dump you if you don't start getting along with the dog," Reid said.

The Cajun sorcerer leered at the blond. Michael knew that. He'd been asking Rowan for all kinds of advice about winning over Princess Agrippina Buttercup, his girlfriend Sasha's three year old Yorkshire terrier. Princess Buttercup was very possessive of Sasha's time and space, and it was difficult for Michael to squeeze his way in. Slowly, he thought he was charming the small dog. Hopefully, because the dog was Sasha's pride and joy. Never had he gone to such lengths to please a woman.

"Would she really?" Dizzy asked.

"Love me. Love my dog," Reid quoted.

"Would you dump Reid if your animals didn't like him, Rowan?" she asked.

Rowan vacillated between that. "Well…they're my babies and if they didn't get along…that would be a problem."

"Shit, they love me," Reid said, dismissing the hypothetical question. "Irrelevant."

They were all at the table, eating the vast array of foods set out. Rowan was sitting between Hunter and Reid, across from Pogue, Tyler and Maria. Gabriel was to the left of Hunter; Michael at the other side of the table; Caleb and Judy sitting next to one another at the other end.

Judy decided to try to be more social. "So, did you guys fly up here from New Orleans?"

Gabriel nodded. "_Oui_." Then looked at Hunter tenderly.

Michael smirked. "My brother and I have accrued many frequent flyer miles." He winked at Judy, she blushed. Michael was enjoying Caleb's perturbed countenance.

----

When dinner was finished snack foods were set out in the den which acted as the theater/game room. There was a large entertainment center with hundreds of DVDs and video games and their respective game consuls. The flat screen TV dominated the center.

"All right, what are we watching?" Michael inquired. Princess Agrippina Buttercup twittered into the room, making a beeline for Michael. She jumped high into the air and he caught her.

"See? She's falling in love with you already," Rowan said.

Michael wouldn't let himself appear pleased, though he was. Wait until Sasha saw the difference when he got back to New Orleans.

"Be right back," Reid said, needing the bathroom.

He passed Rowan's apothecary on the way; heard the message come on. Like the nosy person he was he went into the unlit room, flipped open her phone. Hmm, a picture message from Pinkie. He loaded it up and his hand nearly broke the phone he was clutching it so hard.

"What the fuck?" he muttered angrily.

Not caring that Pinkie was probably still on his date, he called him and Pinkie answered immediately.

"Oh my God, Row, did you get my message?" Pinkie exclaimed.

"It's Reid," he said. "Where are you?"

Pinkie, for once, didn't question why Reid had Rowan's phone. Pinkie said he was in the city at some fancy restaurant, saw Kate sucking face with some guy, and snapped a picture of it for evidence.

"Bitch," Reid hissed.

"My sentiments exactly."

"Did she see you?"

"God, no!"

"Good, make sure she doesn't."

"Well, duh," Pinkie retorted.

"And don't tell Rowan," Reid added.

They hung up, Reid was still stewing over what he'd seen. He briefly contemplated leaving the pictures on Rowan's phone, then decided against it. She might get angry at him later, but for this, she'd forgive him; pretty sure anyway. He sent the pictures to his own phone, deleted them from Rowan's along with the outgoing call to Pinkie. Reid had to compose himself in the bathroom so no one would think anything was up. Especially Rowan; he hoped her psychometry didn't pick anything up. He had to try to put it in the back of his mind; not think about it too clearly.

Reid washed his hands, went back to the den.

"What'd you do?" Tyler asked. "Fall in the toilet?"

Reid replied with some snarky rejoinder and took his place with Rowan on a big cushy chair. When everyone was settled, they dimmed the lights, watched a few movies. A normal, fun night.

---

Caleb drove Judy back to the dorms. It was a little past midnight and he was sorry their time was coming to an end.

"Thanks for inviting me," Judy was saying. "I had a great time."

He smiled. "I did, too."

She blushed in the dark interior of the car. "Your friends are really nice, too. I'm…sorry I didn't give it much of a chance last year to see that."

He nodded a little. "I understand. People at school can make some things more difficult than they should be."

She made a sound that indicated that that was an understatement.

"What changed your mind?" he asked hesitantly.

Judy didn't answer for a minute. "It's kind of a long story."

"I have time."

Judy wasn't one to tell this part of her life to a lot of people. But she felt she could trust Caleb with it; that he would understand because he'd gone through family trials as well; not to mention his own sister being kidnapped this past summer.

"When I was six years old, my brother was abducted. There was a long search, but we never found him. It wasn't until two years later that this guy Roman Guest was reported to be seen around an elementary school, taking pictures. One of the kids, his dad was a cop, and he put Guest's name in the computer and found a string of past accusations, but nothing he was convicted of. It was completely by accident that he was caught. His neighbor's dog got into his yard, and dug something up."

"Jesus," Caleb said under his breath.

"Well, the cops got a warrant, and they found Guest's little trophy room of stuff he'd taken from the kids he'd murdered. One of them was a bracelet my brother had made at camp with his name in beads." She took a breath. "Anyway, he was arrested, convicted, sentenced to life in prison without parole."

Caleb was stunned at her revelation. God, imagine going through so much pain. Losing a brother, her parents losing their kid. He didn't know what he would do if he lost Rowan.

"When I was nine we moved here, you know, for a change," she went on. "But this past summer, Guest decided to tell the police where he'd buried the bodies of the kids he'd taken."

"Wait, so you never got to bury your brother?"

She shook her head. "Well…this summer we did. It took a while to identify the ones in the location Guest had given. But one turned out to be my brother. Wesley Dean Miller." Judy exhaled. "And just having it all brought up again…it reminded me that my brother was robbed of the opportunity to grow up, make friends, have a girlfriend…have a life." She looked at him. "And I figure, no matter what anyone says now…I think I should take the good opportunities I'm given… Like you."

Caleb smiled. Reached over and took her hand. "Thanks for telling me." It couldn't have been easy for her. She was a brave, strong person to have withstood all that; especially at such a young age. He fell a little more for her; for the first time seeing someone he could lose his heart to.

----

Pogue decided to crash at Caleb's place so Hunter and Gabriel could have time alone. He checked his phone for any messages from Kate, but there were none. Oddly, he wasn't disappointed. He realized that he'd felt just fine without her here. He didn't have to worry about whether or not she was having a good time, or if he would get those looks she sometimes gave him, wary, unsure.

In the beginning she had always gazed at him adoringly, like he was the only man for her. Now it was more _if _he was the man for her. Maybe there was, he conceded. Maybe there was no salvaging what was disintegrating between him and Kate.

He wasn't sure he wanted to.

* * *

**Okay, I hope this chapter wasn't too disjointed. I was trying to show a disparity between Pogue and Kate's impending ending, and yet the beginning and continuation of new relationships, too. *scratches head* I might have lost my way a bit. Not sure. LOL.**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Feedback, much welcomed. :D**


	11. Over You

**XI. Over You**

_Well, I never saw it coming.  
I should've started running  
a long, long time ago.  
And I never thought I'd doubt you,  
I'm better off without you__  
More than you, more than you know.  
-Daughtry_

By Reid's clock it was almost two-thirty in the morning when Kate the skank got back to the dorms. He was waiting in the shadows like a creepy stalker for almost an hour. He had let his anger come back out after he'd left Rowan. This bitch was cheating on his brother, in public! Reid wondered how long it'd been going on. He had a few choice words for her. Letting a few minutes go by after Kate was in her dorm, he knocked calmly, hearing the sounds of female laughter on the other side.

Sarah opened the door, her wide smile faltered and crashed to the ground like a crystal vase.

"Hey…Reid," she said, eyes confused, wary.

"Kate here?" he asked.

"Who is it?" Kate came up behind her, stopped short. "What are you doing here?"

No one was in the hallway so Reid rudely edged passed Sarah, shut the door with an ominous click. "How was girl's night out?" he inquired casually.

He scanned the two of them. Sarah was wearing a thin t-shirt with very short, tight shorts, and Kate some fancy negligee thing with too much lace.

"Reid, what are you doing here so late?" Kate asked again, exasperated.

"What were you doing out so late?" he retorted, eyes like blue fire.

"Me and Sarah were out," she replied tersely.

"Reid, whatever this is, can we do it tomorrow?" Sarah suggested. "It's late."

"We were just establishing that, thanks," Reid said snapped. "Mind your own business."

"Don't talk to me like-"

Reid dismissed her. "I know you were fucking around behind Pogue's back tonight," he hissed.

Kate gasped. "What are you talking about?"

"Don't play dumb," he bit. "How long has it been going on?"

Sarah wasn't sure if she should cry for help. Reid looked like he was going to break something.

"What I do is none of your business," Kate sneered.

"It is if it involves you lying to my brother saying you're out with a friend, when you're out playing the skank."

Kate slapped him. The smack resounded in the room; the three of them fell quiet.

Reid rubbed his cheek, taking the sting out of it. "I've never hit a girl before," he said, "but you're making out to be my first."

She took a scared step back, realizing she'd overstepped her bounds. Would he really hit her? "Pogue would hate you if you touched me."

"You sure?" Reid asked. "Before or after you tell him about the guy you were with tonight?"

The heat went out of Kate's stance, replaced by panic. "You don't have any proof."

Reid's smile was slow to spread like a predator stretching after waking. "I have a series of pictures of you. Want to see them?" He pulled out his phone, showed her the first one.

"Where did you get that?" she nearly yelled.

He held the phone away, taunting her. "You have your secrets, I have mine."

Kate sighed. "Listen, maybe we can just…forget about this. Okay? It was one time-"

"Was it?" Reid interrupted. "I doubt it. And I'm not forgetting this. You're out of your fucking mind if you think I'd let Pogue stay with a two-timing, back-stabbing slut like you."

"You can't come in here and talk to me like that!" She got in his face again. "You say you have your secrets? How about letting Dina kiss you at Nicky's last month? What about _that_? Still a secret?"

Reid's face reddened in anger. "She never kissed me. I pushed her away before she could." And that was the truth. Dina had only gotten close enough for her double-D's to press against this chest and her heavy perfume to invade his nostrils like a pair of dirty socks.

Kate smirked. "Did you tell Rowan though?"

"There was nothing to tell!" he ground out between clenched teeth.

"Would she think the same?" she taunted.

"Rowan has nothing to do with this. And I'll tell you now that Pogue sure as hell wouldn't like you purposely trying to upset her either."

_I'm sure he wouldn't_, she thought contemptuously.

He leered at her, disgusted. "Tomorrow, you're going to tell him. Or I will."

It was obvious Kate was trying to come up with a way to fix this. "I'll end it, I promise. Give me a few days."

"Who the hell do you think you're talking to?" Did she really think that would fly with him? "Now, are you going to tell him, or do I have to make you?" He let his eyes flash and turn black.

Both girls stifled their screams and shuffled away from him.

He scoffed without humor. "You two are pathetic." He looked at Sarah. "Thank God Caleb got over you." To Kate: "And Pogue'll get over you, too. You're not worth it."

Just as he was about to leave, he snapped around and said, "And for Christ's sake, lay off on the perfume. A person can hardly breathe in here!"

----

The animals weren't in the foyer to greet him when Caleb got home. His mom was at some swank spa with Tyler's mom for the weekend, getting back into the world, relaxing; he was glad for that. He went to the den where Pogue was just putting a blanket over a sleeping Rowan, the animals in a pile on the floor.

"I'd carry her to bed but I don't want to wake her up," Pogue said quietly.

Caleb nodded. His sister's insomnia was a persistent shadow. He bent over the couch, gently touched his sister's head affectionately.

"So, you get any action?" Pogue teased as they quietly left the den.

He chuckled, shook his head.

Pogue's demeanor sobered. "I like Judy. She's cool."

Caleb grinned. "Me, too."

The entire drive home he couldn't help but replay her story over in his mind. It was something out of a horror movie; all the more disturbing because…it wasn't. Judy had lived through this. It wasn't everyone who could face that and yet still develop into the kind of person Judy was – smart, kind, compassionate, brave. She hadn't let it break her; it had even reminded her that she should seize life's opportunities while she could; one of those opportunities being him.

"You sure nothing happened?" Pogue went on, smirking. "Rowan was saying you had a smitten-kitten look on your face all night."

"Good thing she's asleep then," Caleb replied with a light grin.

----

"You didn't piss Rowan off or anything, did you?" Tyler asked Reid, half-joking. The only thing he knew that could put his friend in this much of a funk was if there was some rare spat between Reid and Rowan, usually the former's fault.

"No," he snapped. Just still pissed at Kate. His cheek was still smarting from her slap, too. That was an hour ago, and it was two in the morning.

It was difficult to keep this to himself, and was second-guessing his choice to hide it from Rowan. It would have upset her beyond belief, and she'd been so tired; trying to conceal it, but Reid wasn't fooled.

Tyler pulled back the blankets. Got under. Reid was still sitting on the edge of his bed, his cell phone beside him, eyeing it as if the small piece of technology would attack any second.

"You're not going to sleep, are you?" Tyler said.

Reid's jaw clenched, snatched the phone in hand, flipped it open, a second later it was flung at Tyler. The younger boy caught it mid-air, the purport of what he was seeing hitting him like an anvil.

"Bitch…" Tyler uttered, the profane word a rare visitor on his tongue. "Where did you get this?"

Reid told him.

"So, Rowan doesn't know?"

The blond shook his head. "I told Kate to tell Pogue tomorrow."

"When did you talk to her?"

"'Bout an hour ago." He pointed to his red cheek. "She slapped me."

Tyler's brow rose. "Do I want to know what you said to deserve that?"

Reid's lips twitched slyly. "A two-timing, back-stabbing slut…with a skank thrown in there somewhere."

He couldn't help but sound a truncated laugh. He glanced at the pictures one more time, face hard, snapped the phone shut, sighed. "How long you think she's been…?"

Reid shrugged. "By the way she was talking it didn't sound like some one time thing." Now that someone else knew, Reid felt a little better. Not less angry on Pogue's behalf, just easier that his indignation was shared. "It was a long time coming." Reid turned off the light, got in bed.

"Like this though?" Tyler commented in the dark.

Reid didn't answer. Wasn't much to say.

"I can't imagine Maria doing that to me."

Reid chuckled. "Nah. She's too interested in your _wand_."

"Shut up!" Tyler hurled a pillow at him, Reid flung it back.

----

"So?" Sarah said.

It was eleven in the morning; Kate still hadn't contacted Pogue. Although Sarah hadn't known Reid that long, she had a feeling that he wasn't going to let Kate forget her deadline.

"I hate him," Kate hissed.

"Reid?"

"This is _so_ none of his business!"

Sarah shrugged one shoulder. "I wonder how he even got those pictures."

Kate threw her hands up, exasperated. "The hell if I know." She hadn't seen anyone she knew last night.

She'd been in the city with Ethan. Kate had known him almost all her life. Their fathers were in the same business, so she and Ethan had come into contact regularly. He was the first guy she'd made love to. The reason why they had never begun a relationship was because he'd gone to a different private school; and after graduating last year he started at Cornell in September.

Kate had never been unfaithful to Pogue until this past summer.

"Do you love Ethan?" Sarah asked.

"I…I don't know." Kate sighed.

"He love you?"

"He says he does. He's so considerate, and affectionate, romantic. It's like…I come _first_ with him." All the things she thought were missing between her and Pogue. "I mean, he came here from Ithaca for no other reason but to see _me_."

She was still lamenting her plight when a knock sounded at the door. To her surprise, Pogue stood there.

Her smile faltered for a second. "Hey, baby!"

He hugged her, gave her a kiss on the cheek. Pogue acknowledged Sarah with a nod.

"What… What are you doing here?"

Pogue shrugged. "I thought we'd catch a late breakfast or something." He gave her a crooked smile. "Make up for missing date night."

Kate looked back at Sarah as if her friend could save her. Her mind felt like a pin-ball machine complete with the flashing bright lights.

"Did I interrupt something?"

"No. Um…"

"I think I'm going to go to the library," Sarah said. She put on her shoes, grabbed her backpack. As she left her eyes met Kate's sympathetically.

Pogue closed the door behind her, faced his girlfriend. "What's up? You look like something's bothering you."

Her back was to him. She didn't say anything; wringing her hands, heart beating wildly, trying to find the words. He said nothing either as he took his cell phone out of his pocket. When she turned around she stopped cold. His eyes rose to meet hers slowly.

"I thought you might want to explain this," he said calmly, turning the screen to her.

"Pogue…"

"So you know who I am. I guess you were having a case of mistaken identity last night when you were with a guy you _thought_ was me?" His blue eyes were hard, tone harsh.

She swallowed a jagged lump in her throat. "Let me explain."

"How long have you been going out behind my back?" he demanded. "This guy…I met him over the summer. Ethan, right?"

He got a nod in return.

"It started then?"

"I can explain-"

"Then explain!" he yelled.

His raised voice snapped her out of her stupor. "Do not yell at me."

Pogue's brow rose. "You've got nerve telling me what to do."

"As if you would listen anyway," she spat.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You never listen to me! Your mind is always somewhere else. It's like I don't even exist!" It felt good to finally say these words to him.

Trying to assimilate her accusations, he closed his eyes for a second, took a breath. "And Ethan listens to you?"

"Yes." Taking a step towards him, she went on. "And when he's with me, his mind is _with me_. He treats me like I matter."

"You _do_ matter to me."

"Then why do I always come in third with you? Hmm?"

"What are you talking about?"

"If it's not one thing it's another. If it's not your stupid bike, it's leaving me in the middle of the night because Rowan has a fever."

Silence. "What does Rowan have to do with this?"

"You are always choosing her over me! You choose your bike over me!"

Pogue clenched his jaw. "You're mad at me because you think I choose my sister over you?"

She rolled her eyes, scoffed. "Your sister."

He didn't like the way she said that. "You're not making any damn sense."

Her eyes widened with anger. "Don't tell me I don't make any sense!" she shrilled. "You missed my birthday last year because you went to a funeral for some woman you didn't even know. And you only stayed a week with me in New York when you were supposed to stay for two. We planned that trip for months! But the entire time all you could think about was Rowan and Caleb and how they were doing. And you left!"

"You've got to be kidding me. Rowan was-"

"_Fine_," she interjected. "She was fine. Safe at home with her brother."

"She wasn't fine," he told her firmly. "And excuse the hell out of me for worrying about my family more than what outfit you were going to dress me in next for another party you were taking me to."

"You don't get it. You don't get anything."

"_I_ don't get anything? Jesus Christ…" The fight went out of him, he could only stare at her, bewildered. "Were you always this selfish and self-centered?" He shook his head slightly. "I loved you, Kate. I also love my family. And if you don't get _that_, then you don't get me." Pause. "I don't think you ever did." Hand on the doorknob, he stopped, took a last glance at her. "Good luck with Ethan."

----

Said family was waiting for him back at his and Hunter's apartment, sympathetic gazes flown in his direction, when he entered the living room. It was past six. After leaving Kate's dorm he'd ridden the stupid bike she hated so much as fast and as far as it could go. Then spent some brooding time at the Dells thinking about all she'd said to him.

Pogue had come to the conclusion that maybe he had given his bike too much attention. But being with his family during the times that they needed to come together, he couldn't regret that; and firmly believed that he had never been in the wrong when it had come to "choosing" Rowan and his brothers over Kate.

"I'm fine," he said.

Of course none believed him. Hell, even the three animals had their heads cocked to the side as if to say _Who're you kidding?_

"Hey, that chili I smell?" Pogue asked with forced casualness.

Rowan nodded. "Your favorite." She stood up. "Everyone…"

The guys grimaced, they had a feeling what was coming.

"Group hug," she declared. When they started to complain, stern eyes leveled on each of them. "Come on, no whining."

With minimal grumbling they all amassed into a bunched hug.

"See? That wasn't so bad." Rowan went off to the kitchen while the guys stayed in the living room.

"So?" Caleb said.

Pogue shrugged heavily. "It's over."

They nodded.

"Good," Reid snipped.

Tyler nudged him none too gently with his elbow. A tacit indication that his caustic barbs were time-inappropriate. Reid rolled his eyes, but shut up. Like the guys they were not many words of sympathy were vocalized. They just sat around and ate chili. Like family.

----

Rowan buckled up Ernie in the backseat of Caleb's car and put Bruce Lee in his mini car seat. Tyler was waiting for Reid behind the driver's seat of his Hummer, while Caleb waited for his sister.

She approached Reid, crossed her arms over her chest. "Explanation?"

He had the good grace to look sheepish. "I didn't want you to get upset."

"I'm not made of eggshells, Reid."

"I know. I just…you were having a good time and I didn't want to ruin it. I hadn't seen you smile that much in a while."

Rowan's face softened. "Your intentions were good. But your execution was way off."

"Yeah." He nodded. "So…?"

Silence. "Well, I am a bit peeved. And I can't let this go without consequences," she said blithely. "_So_…no communication for twenty-four hours, and I won't be coming to your dorm to wake you up in the morning for a week."

"A _week_?" he complained.

"Two?" she inquired, eyes narrowed.

"Fine." Reid exhaled strongly. "And you're giving me the silent treatment?"

Rowan nodded. "Until midnight on Tuesday."

He was obviously unhappy with this, but at least she wasn't completely pissed. Could have been worse, didn't mean he liked it though.

"Can I at least have one kiss goodnight before you stop talking to me?" He smiled charmingly.

She had a tsk-tsk expression on her face but still rose up on her tip-toes and planted a soft kiss on his lips, leaving him with the taste of strawberries on his own.

----

Pogue took a shower after they left only to find Bubbe lounging on his bed. A note was on his pillow.

_Bubbe didn't want you to be alone, so she's with you until she deems you well._

_Love, Rowan._

He chuckled. Next to his bed was a list of instructions for Bubbe's care. It was a page and a half long. Yeah, that was like Rowan.

He looked at Bubbe with a resigned grin. "So, just you and me, huh?"

* * *

**I hope that wasn't too melodramatic. I didn't want to drag out their parting too much. **

**I don't approve of Reid's confrontation, but it did seem him a "Reid" thing to do, i.e. not well thought out and spontaneous. **

**Thanks for reading and the reviews. Always appreciated. :D  
**


	12. I'll Keep Your Secrets

**XII. I'll Keep Your Secrets**

_Lost in the dark, I see you there  
What do you see beyond your stare  
And you believe that no one else can know  
Always afraid that one day it will show  
-Trans-Siberian Orchestra_

"I have to tell you something."

Rowan knew it was Reid without even having to look at the caller ID. It was midnight on Tuesday, not a minute later.

"Hello to you, too," Rowan said.

Reid chuckled, the sound husky over the phone. Rowan not talking to him all Monday, as half of her punishment, had made him fidgety and overly thoughtful. Out of the blue Kate's words had come back to him – about her telling Rowan about Dina at Nicky's the month before. It would probably be a good thing to head Rowan off, tell her about it before it went through the proverbial grapevine and he found himself apologizing…again. Not to mention Reid just had a "feeling" it would come back to bite him in the ass sooner rather than later.

"Hi," he said. "Can we think of a better punishment next time I do something wrong? I really don't like this not talking for twenty-four hours thing."

Rowan laughed. "Okay. What did you have to tell me?"

Silence. Then a heavy sigh. "It was something Kate mentioned when I talked to her after I left you on Friday."

"By 'talked' do you mean cussed her out?"

"Hmm…maybe…a little." His voice was playful, unregretful.

She half-grinned, shook her head as if to say _that's so you_. "So, what did she say?"

He cleared his throat. "I wouldn't tell her how I got the pictures on my phone…something about secrets…and uh…she brought up this thing…barely a thing which was why I didn't mention it," he hastened to say, "that happened at Nicky's last month."

Rowan licked her lips, swallowed. "What thing?"

"Dina…she tried to kiss me."

Pause. "Tried."

"Yeah." He bit his bottom lip, hard.

"Okay…" This wasn't anything new to her. Girls were constantly hitting on Reid, even if they knew he had a girlfriend. And it was obvious Kate was using it as a trump card against Reid; that Rowan did not like. "Don't worry about it," she said. She put some humor in her voice, "If you felt you had to tell me about every girl who hits on you we'd never stop talking. Ever."

He laughed a little. But Reid hated it, someone always attempting to come between them. It didn't happen as often as it used to, people were finally getting the message that Rowan was the only one for Reid.

"Hey, I saw something when I kissed you the other night…It was very brief but…did Kate slap you?"

Reid chuckled sharply. "Yeah, she did. Hurt, too."

"I'm the only one allowed to punish you," she pouted, and she could just imagine the naughty grin spreading on his face. "But thanks for giving me the heads up. You wouldn't have had to worry about it though."

"I love you, Row."

"I love you, too, Reid."

They talked for a while more then hung up. She wouldn't be able to fall asleep. The wind whooshed past her window as Ernie snuffled in one of his canine dreams, and Bruce Lee was probably snoring on Caleb's pillow. Rowan opened the drawer on her nightstand, eyed the orange bottle of pain killers that weren't yet expired. She was often tempted to take one, let it lull her into a medicated sleep.

She closed the drawer.

Definitely no sleep tonight. She put on her slippers and headed downstairs. Ernie groused, but followed her, always accompanying her on her midnight wanderings. Rowan turned on a lamp in her sanctum sanctorum, opened her Book of Shadows, sifted through it for an appropriate spell. Nothing too harsh or permanent just…

One brow arched.

"Hmm… The Inner Ugly," she muttered to herself. An oldie but a goodie, with a few tweaks she could easily contemporize it.

A moment of hesitance stayed her mind though. Was this revenge against Kate for Pogue? Was it fair to use magic against her? Rowan had punished Aaron and Brody freshman year for attacking Hunter in his dorm room; more like _tried_ to attack him anyway. So why not Kate for breaking Pogue's heart? For being disloyal, unfaithful, dishonest.

And Pogue was hurt. Didn't take a genius to see through his affable disguise. She'd felt it like a gust from one of those large turbo-fans when they hugged goodbye on Sunday. Her psychometry had also picked up snippets of their confrontation. Kate accusing him of being neglectful; choosing Rowan and his brothers over her. For a moment Rowan experienced a twang of guilt, thinking her presence might have caused a rift between Pogue and Kate. But then she had also picked up Pogue's staunch disagreement with Kate's words. How he did not and could not regret all he'd devoted to his family.

Kate Tunney was taking no responsibility for her part in the dissolution of her and Pogue's relationship. She likely slept carefree while Pogue lay awake for hours in the night, angry and hurt.

"What do you think, Ernie?" Rowan asked the German shepherd who was laying at her feet.

He rose his head, big brown eyes alert and responsive. He licked his chops, tail thumping on the floor.

Rowan's lips quirked into a small smile. "If you say so."

----

Kate woke up at two in the morning to use the restroom.

At two-oh-two she flushed the toilet, then washed her hands. Her eyes checked her reflection.

At two-oh-three, Kate screamed.

----

"She's been giving me the evil eye all day," Pogue said to Caleb in the locker room.

"Aw, lamenting your lost love, Parry?" Aaron jeered.

"Couldn't keep her satisfied," Brody tacked on boldly.

"Mind your own shit," Reid snapped.

Pinkie decided to give the surmounting testosterone a wide berth as all of his more masculine comrades went on high alert.

"Was I talking to you?" Abbot retorted.

Reid glared back. Hunter stopped him from taking a menacing step towards Aaron.

"Come on, bro, not right now," Hunter said quietly.

The blond's jaw clenched, but listened to reason.

Aaron snickered. "Yeah, listen to the fag, Garwin. You-"

His body slammed against the lockers and he rose three feet off the ground, the elevation so smooth it was as if he floated. Hunter's large hand was planted against his neck; iron-hard fingers spread out for purchase. It didn't do to rankle a six-three, one-hundred eighty plus pound, nth degree black belt.

"Say that again." There was no jest, no facetiousness in Hunter's tone. His jade eyes cut deeply into Aaron's own wide orbs without mercy.

"Ooh, I love this," Pinkie awed in a whispered hush.

Reid was enjoying the spectacle, even if Hunter had stolen the pleasure of ramming his fist into Aaron's mug. With only a towel around his waist, he crossed his arms over his chest, relaxed in an observer's stance that had no intentions of intervening. The rest of the bodies stood rapt, seeing Hunter's easy hold on Aaron, like he weighed no more than a baby.

"He's turning blue, Hunt," Pogue pointed out blithely.

"Let go…asshole," Aaron managed to grind out.

"Now, how're you gonna go insult the person who just owned you?" Reid questioned wickedly.

Caleb checked the clock. "Grace period over," he uttered.

Hunter smiled and dropped Aaron unceremoniously. The latter coughed harshly, touching his inflamed throat.

He bent down casually. "You know I don't like that word, Aaron." He meandered back to his open locker and resumed putting on the rest of his school uniform. By his unperturbed appearance one would be hard pressed to surmise that he had just been in a confrontational situation.

"I'll forgive you this time," Reid told him as he got dressed, too.

Hunter smirked.

"Thanks for the entertainment, bro," Pogue said, slapping his friend on the back. It got his mind off of Kate for about five minutes.

Because, as he'd been telling Caleb, Kate had been giving him the evil eye all day. Their break up was currently the hottest topic at Spensers. Most were saying that Pogue dumped Kate because she cheated on him. Naturally the morning he had gone to her dorm room their argument had been "overheard" by some of the others. Pogue didn't perpetuate any of the gossip.

The bell rang and they headed to the cafeteria where Dizzy and Rowan were already sitting at their customary circular table. Lunches retrieved; Tyler kissed his girlfriend on the cheek before sitting next to her. Rowan was sandwiched between Hunter and Reid.

"Oh my God," Pinkie began as he plopped down, his tray making a loud _clack_ on the table. "You should have seen it. Hunter went all Hulk on Aaron in the locker room." He leaned in to whisper, "Aaron used the F-word."

Rowan glared at her friend who only grinned at her affably.

"Have I told you that I love you today?" Hunter asked to ward off any chidings. But Rowan knew that if Hunter put his hands on someone it was likely for a good enough reason; like using the f-word.

Her lips twitched in a smile. "Boys."

"He stole my thunder, Row," Reid complained. Though obviously not discomfited enough to snatch the roll off her tray.

Caleb rolled his eyes. "If it'd been you, you would be sharing a week's worth detention with Aaron."

Before Reid could rebut Caleb's truth, Dizzy jumped in. "Where's Judy?"

All eyes went on Caleb like he knew Judy's every step.

"She's making some finishing touches on her article for this month's newspaper," he said, ignoring the teasing glimmer in his friends' eyes.

"What's it about?" Hunter asked.

"Child abduction and how to keep them safe," he replied, opening his carton of milk. He was eager to read it, Judy's passion on the subject just lit up her eyes.

"Heavy," Pinkie said.

"You didn't tell us what yours was about," Pogue said to Rowan. She had a monthly byline called Animal Row.

"Oh, it won't be in this issue," she said.

"Why?" Reid asked.

"Judy's article is front page and it ran a little long, and we all decided it was too good to cut anything out so something else from the paper needed to get pushed back-"

Reid interrupted hotly, "That was Millicent's idea wasn't it?"

"No…" Rowan said. "I agreed to it. Judy's article is really good, and I thought it should stay uncut, too."

"But why yours?" Tyler inquired.

Rowan shrugged.

"Because she's trying to get at Caleb by ousting Rowan," Reid blurted.

Rowan thought he was overreacting. "That's not true."

"Ah, come on. Millicent hates that Judy's seeing Caleb. So she's trying to get Caleb mad at Millicent, which will drive a wedge between him and Judy."

"You a conspiracy theorist now?" Hunter deadpanned.

Rowan sighed. "Reid, that is not what she's doing. I don't have a problem foregoing my article this month, and neither should you." She sipped her orange juice. "And when you see Millicent later today, do not mention this, okay?"

He knew he was already in hot water with Rowan. If he created more waves over this…but that Millicent was a tight-ass bitch that didn't have an iota of a sense of humor.

"Leave it alone," Caleb told him. God, it was bad enough trying to get Millicent to tolerate him; she was Judy's best friend and he didn't want to create tension between him and Judy by not getting along with Millicent. Maybe he'd try to talk calmly with her after school at the Student Council meeting.

"God, all this negativity," Pinkie quipped.

"Please," Rowan said.

He stared at his girlfriend for a moment, the most difficult person in the world to say no to; jaw clenched, mind reeling. "Fine," he finally ground out.

Rowan kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you."

They settled down, ate their lunches. It was weird not having Kate sit with them because she was always on Pogue's arm during school hours. People in the cafeteria were eyeing their table, too. Pogue discreetly checked to see if Kate was here, but there was no trace of her. Why he wanted to catch of glimpse of her, he didn't know.

Which was why after lunch he scanned the hallways, too. His lack of attention bringing him in direct contact with the person he was seeking. He bumped into Kate as she came out of the girl's bathroom, not watching where she was going either.

He startled when he finally did see her. A one-eighty from how Kate appeared this morning. Her face had broken out, and there was a musty smell coming from her clothes.

"Oh…" Kate said.

Pogue almost gagged. The smell that came out of her mouth was rotten. She must have noticed too because she clapped her hand over her mouth and ran, bumping into people as she went.

----

Kate slammed the door to her dorm, hurried into the bathroom. God, her face! Covered with acne. Her breath…she couldn't open her mouth without smelling rotted fruit; the odor of garbage was seeping from her pores like a pestilence.

It was like last night. Kate had woken up, seen what she was seeing now in the mirror. But it had been gone in a second, leaving her to think she had imagined it.

Then not ten minutes ago she'd went to the girl's lavatory, looked in the mirror…

She bit her bottom lip, her eyes filled with tears. It must be an allergic reaction…or something. She heard the door open, then close.

"Kate?"

She banged the bathroom door shut. Sarah knocked.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine!" Kate insisted.

"You don't sound fine. Open the door."

After an agonizing minute, she did.

Sarah gasped.

----

"Here we go again, Toby," Rowan said to her ghost friend. "People just can't…" The rest was muttered as she arranged the books on the shelf. Was it so difficult to return them to their proper order?

Toby chuckled, following Rowan as she pushed the squeaky cart further down the aisle. "That was a funny spell you put on Kate."

Her smile was thin. "It's a benign one. A sensory illusion more than anything. No harmful side effect after it goes away."

"After what goes away?" Aaron's voice split the relative quiet and Rowan startled.

"Don't do that," she reprimanded, hand over her heart.

He smirked. "Talking to yourself?"

Pause. "Do you see anyone else around?" Rowan was in the obscure part of the library that most students didn't go; on the second floor where light had difficulty reaching.

"Guess not," he replied. Aaron Abbot's hands were in his pockets, he stood there casually, no care in the world. Head tipped to the side, scrutinizing her, he wondered what it was about Rowan Danvers that interested him so much. Not that the notion would be said aloud, ever.

"Are you looking for something?" she asked.

"You."

Her brow wrinkled suspiciously. They already had their discussion about their US Government project in class. Her eyes landed on his neck, the skin red where Hunter's hand had been. Aaron saw her looking, his genial face immediately contorted into contempt.

"What?" he snapped.

She shook her head.

"I suppose you were informed about what happened?"

Rowan saw his aura inflame. He could go from placid to turbulent in sixty seconds flat. "Yeah. You called Hunter the F-word."

Aaron scoffed. "The F-word."

She didn't know where this encounter was going, so she went about stocking the books, the wheels of the cart squeaking. Toby was still trailing around nearby; ready to do whatever ghostly thing he could to Aaron if things got out of hand. After a minute, Aaron's footsteps followed her.

Rowan was feeling a little lightheaded, having gotten about two hours of disturbed sleep last night. She wasn't about to throw caution to the wind right now, she needed to sit down. Pushing the cart near the tables in the middle of the floor, she sat. Aaron seated himself across from her without an invitation.

"You okay?" She looked peaked.

"Yeah."

And from turbulent to placid in sixty seconds flat.

"You don't have class?" she said.

He shrugged carelessly; not meeting her eyes. Aaron actually hadn't been looking for her; he just came to this level of the library because usually nobody was here.

"I should ask you if you're okay," Rowan spoke.

He made a sound of ambivalence. "What do you care?"

"I could have asked you the same thing."

At this his lips curved into a slight smile. He didn't know why he cared, wasn't about to admit it either. Rowan was just a genuinely nice person that you sometimes didn't know what to make of it. He knew Kira resented it. And him? It intrigued him, made him want to get to know her more. But that wasn't likely to happen, considering the people she hung out with.

"How're your parents?" she asked, the question surprising the shit out of him.

Aaron didn't answer; then he remembered last February she'd driven him back to the dorms because he was drunk – insisted on driving him – and he'd blurted out his parents' issues.

"Couples counseling," he said acerbically. "But don't tell anyone. Wouldn't want to mar the family image."

"How's that working?"

He rolled his eyes. "They should just get a divorce and be done with it." _Why are you telling her this?_ He didn't even talk about this shit with Brody or Kira…or anyone for that matter. But he always found himself spilling his guts to the girl across from him.

"Do you talk to the therapist, too?"

"No!" He checked his voice which had risen indignantly.

Slightly taken aback, she said, "There's nothing wrong with seeking therapy."

"I guess you would know," he retorted sharply.

Rowan sat back in her chair, not rising to the bait. It didn't do to argue with someone like Aaron who was almost always spoiling for a fight. "Well…therapy isn't very helpful if you don't want it anyway." She sighed, glanced at the books still left on the cart. Turning back to Aaron, she inquired, "Don't you get tired being so angry all the time?"

"Don't you get tired being so nice all the time?" he managed to rebut in a timely fashion.

She gave him a small grin, somewhat wan, tired. "I'm not nice all the time. I have an inner-ugly like everybody else."

"Inner-ugly?"

"Yeah. The opposite of inner-beauty."

Light-heartedness couldn't help but glitter in his eyes as it was hers.

"So, does your inner-ugly ever come out?" he questioned with an amused tip of his head.

"Of course it does," she replied blithely.

A quiet settled over the two of them, a comfortable one.

"Uh…Rowan," Toby interrupted, coming up by her side. "Reid's on his way to the library."

And thank you for the head's up. Rowan was too tired to placate any of Reid's I-hate-Aaron tirades.

"Well, I better finish restocking the rest of these." She got up, hesitated. "If you ever need someone to talk to…" Words trailing off, she shrugged. "I'm a good ear…" – she leaned in and whispered, "…Cornelius."

Aaron's eyes popped, his head snapped around to make sure no one heard. "Someone could hear you!" he hissed.

Rowan stifled her laughter. "I haven't told anyone your middle name…Cornelius."

"Would you…" His jaw clenched. Finally, he got up from his chair. Not certain he was pulling off the angry-act well enough, he didn't look at her.

"See you later…" He was about to interject. "Aaron, I was going to say Aaron."

----

Caleb, as Student Council President, called the meeting to an end. People gathered up their belongings and shuffled out of the room.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" he asked Millicent, just as she was shrugging her bag over her shoulder.

One perfectly arched brow quirked, her thin lips pursed.

Caleb tried not to let the exasperation he felt show on his face. No matter how nice he was to Judy's best friend, she was either condescending or borderline rude to him. And Caleb didn't want that. He wanted him and Millicent to at least tolerate each other for Judy's sake, but Millicent wasn't meeting him halfway.

"Bye, Caleb," Chelsea Horvath practically cooed her farewell as she sauntered by him, brushing up against his arm.

"Bye," he answered politely.

Millicent watched her departure distastefully before magnanimously turning her attention back to Caleb; reprimand in her eyes.

"Yes?" she queried, not bothering to disguise her feigned patience.

_Keep calm,_ he told himself. "It's about my sister's newspaper article." This got her attention.

"What about it?"

"She mentioned it wouldn't be in this month's issue."

"That's correct." Millicent nodded. "Judy's article is front page this month and was a little long so something needed to get pushed back."

"Yeah, that's just it." He scratched his chin. "I know you don't like me. But please don't take it out on my sister."

Baffled into rare silence, Millicent did not respond right away. "I'm not taking anything out on Rowan. I spoke with her about this, and she understood."

"Why her, though?"

She sighed. "You're reading way too much into this."

"I don't think I am," he countered. "Out of all the people who write for the newspaper, why is it my sister's piece that gets omitted to make room for another?" He crossed his arms over his chest.

"It certainly isn't because I don't like you," she retorted. "God, that is just so typical. What makes you think it has anything to do with _you_?" At five-eleven she was only about three and a half inches shorter than Caleb and could easily stand before him, which she did now. "Maybe I asked Rowan because I believed she was the only one on the staff who wouldn't take my request personally, and the only person who wouldn't take it as some underhanded slight against her person or writing skills. Perhaps I asked her because I think her to be a reasonable, open-minded individual with no ego to speak of and would not mind having her article omitted this once."

That was an accurate character assessment of Rowan, he thought.

"Well, if that's all," Millicent said, straightening her bag, "I have other things to do."

Suitably chastised, Caleb didn't leave the room for another five minutes. He probably just made things worse between him and Millicent; accusing her of being so petty as to single Rowan out because she didn't approve of his dating Judy.

Damn.

"Back to square one," he muttered.

----

The fetid stench did not abate. Kate took three showers that did nothing to quell the acrid odor that came from her pores. No amount of toothpaste or mouthwash could lavage the bad breath that resided in her mouth.

On Wednesday morning she found a fuzzy growth cropping up between her toes. The mysterious acne was worse, pustular zits threatened to pop of their own accord; and it was spreading to her back.

Sarah found her crying in the bathroom. She opened the door, trying to hide her disgust at the bad smell and Kate's equally bad skin.

"I can't go in to school today," she cried.

The blond nodded. She checked on Kate at lunch who had a mud mask on her face in a vain attempt to staunch the swelling colony of acne. The air in the room was a mixture of funk and aerosol freshener.

It was in the middle of Thursday night when it dawned on Kate. She scrambled out of bed, grappling for her cell phone. It rang, rang. Went to voicemail, but she didn't give up. Fifteen minutes later a groggy voice answered.

"You did this!" she hissed into the phone.

----

Pogue answered. Whoever the hell was calling him in the dead of night was obviously not going to give up.

"You did this!" someone hissed into his ear.

Sleep sloughed off him in layers. "Kate?"

"You did this to me!" she yelled.

"What? Are you drunk?" he asked.

"No, I'm not drunk! You put this spell on me, now you take it off!"

Pushing himself up to a sitting position, he clicked on the lamp which woke Bubbe. "You think there's a spell on you?"

"Don't play dumb you asshole!" Kate began to cry. "Why are you doing this to me?"

There was some fumbling and mumbling Pogue couldn't make out before Sarah came on the line.

"Pogue?"

"What is she saying about a spell?" he asked.

Sarah explained to him what had been going on with Kate since Tuesday. The particulars were pretty gruesome. He remembered careening into her in the hall that day, smelling her bad breath.

"You sure?"

"It came out of nowhere," Sarah insisted. "Will you…will you just come look…or something?"

"This is all his fault," he heard Kate wail in the background.

He sighed. "Look, I'll come see her in the morning. But I didn't put a spell on her."

"It was Rowan!" Kate screamed. "It had to be! That little bitch!"

"Shh!" Sarah censured. "Can you _please_ come tonight? She's just not herself."

Ten minutes later, after depositing Bubbe with a quickly informed Hunter, he was on his bike to Spensers. It didn't take him long to get there. His feet trod familiar ground to Kate's dorm, and he wondered why he was even bothering coming here in the middle of the freaking night to help her out after she cheated on him, and then, not twenty minutes ago, called Rowan a bitch.

He didn't even get a chance to knock, the door swung open and Sarah practically yanked him in the room; his nose crinkled at the rank smell. Kate had a sheet over her head like a mourning shroud.

"So?" he said.

"Kate, show him," Sarah told her.

Kate sniffled. Pulled back the sheet. Pogue didn't bother to hide his surprise and repulsion.

"See!" She huffed up to him, letting him have a front row seat. "Look at me!" The sheet fell to the floor.

Goddamn, she stunk. Pogue took a step back.

"You did this!" she accused again, grabbing onto the lapels of his leather jacket.

"I didn't do anything," he said, prying her fingers off.

Her face contorted in anger, causing one of the pimples to spontaneously combust, squirting the contents of pus onto his shirt. Pogue definitely recognized a spell here. Although it wasn't entirely malevolent. The only malevolence was from Kate herself.

"Make it stop!" she pleaded.

He couldn't undo a spell he hadn't weaved. "I can't right now."

"Then go check with your _sister_," she sneered. "Miss Know-It-All. Miss Witch!" She pointed a finger at him. "If the bitch, or witch, or whatever doesn't take this off I'll-"

Well, that did it. "You'll what?" Ignoring the stench, he stood over her threateningly.

"I'll tell everyone what she is!" Another zit popped.

Pogue was less inclined to help by the second.

"Kate, maybe you should just calm down," Sarah suggested soothingly.

"Yeah, Kate, listen to her," Pogue said tonelessly. "And while you're listening, listen to this." He made sure she was paying attention. "Don't even think about telling anybody our secret. I made a huge mistake in trusting you with it. If I hear one rumor, one whisper, about _anything_, I _will_ shut you up."

Kate remained mute. She bent down, snatched up the fallen sheet to re-shroud herself as she went into the bathroom.

Sarah approached him cautiously. "She's just been really upset…"

"This spell doesn't affect your mind," Pogue told her. "So there's no excuse."

"So…it _is_ a spell? Aren't those dangerous?"

"No."

"But look what it's doing to her!"

"All the damage is on the outside. She's not sick, not dying."

Sarah didn't want to hear the intricacies; she wanted to leave this world behind. "Can you undo it?"

----

Pogue went to the Danvers estate before school. Rowan walked into the kitchen to see Pogue with her brother.

"Hey, Lil Bit," Pogue said.

Caleb had a half-disapproval, half-amusement look on his face. "You put a spell on Kate?"

Pause. Rowan had the grace to look sheepish. "Maybe… Just a little. The Inner Ugly one. Completely benign!"

"Completely disgusting," Pogue added.

"You mad?" she asked Pogue.

"Nah," he said. He put his arm around, hugged his sister to his side. "It's all good, Lil Bit."

She peered up at him just to be sure. "You want me to take it off? I can do it before school."

He thought about it for a moment. Heard Kate calling Rowan a bitch in his head…heard Kate threatening to reveal their secret…Kate cheating on him…Kate lying to him…

Pogue smirked. "Hmm, no. Give it the weekend, all right?"

* * *

**I hope Kate's punishment was suitable.**

**Thanks much for reading.**

**Feedback always welcome. :D**


	13. State of Mind

**XIII. State of Mind**

_Where do I go from here  
Or am I just like a clock spinning 'round  
Everything seems unclear  
Confusion is raising its head  
And I can't make a sound  
I feel it – tearing at my soul while I'm asleep__  
I feel it - if it doesn't stop I'll go insane  
-Merril Bainbridge_

It was a soul piercing scream that woke Reid up from his very peaceful slumber. His body went cold, his heart damned near burst out of his chest, and his blood rushed through his veins like a raging river. It took a few seconds to realize that it was Rowan who was screaming. He instantly snapped out of it – mentally anyway – and tried to pry her out of whatever nightmare was causing her this much terror.

"Rowan!" She tried to push him away, he was stronger. It took a minute but he got her to stop thrashing, even as her eyes met his with no recognition. So Reid just pulled her into his arms, tightly, waiting for her shakes to subside.

She herself was trying to get her bearings. She was in Reid's room, check. Not sure what time it was. And Reid had just heard her freak out like a psycho. Rowan couldn't take that. She mumbled an apology and scrambled out of his arms, taking a sheet with her to wrap around her body.

"Row!" he called.

The bathroom door across the room shut, the faucet came on. What just happened? Okay, he knew she had nightmares, he'd just never heard one like…that before. And why did she say she was sorry? Duh, Reid. She was embarrassed, though he didn't know why. He got out of bed, stood outside the bathroom door.

"Rowan?" He knocked lightly. "You okay?"

No answer. The water continued to run.

He let that go on for a few minutes. "Hey." She did this sometimes. He knew she shut him out of that place in her mind that haunted her. She said she didn't want to burden him with it. His forehead rested against the door, waiting. The water shut off, the door opened.

Reid looked her up and down. Her eyes were a little red; darting away from him. Rowan tried to smile at him but it fell incredibly short. She moved past him, lost. The clock read two-eleven. They'd gotten here about eleven-thirty after going for breakfast in town. They made love – twice – then fallen asleep. She didn't realize she was standing with her back to him, unmoving, until he put his arms around her.

"You want to talk about it?"

She shook her head, moved out of his arms to sit on the bed. Head bowed, her hair cascaded around her face, hiding it from Reid. Hands were clasped on her lap. The bed dipped when he sat beside her. Rain pelted against the window panes, the sky was thick with gray clouds.

"Sure you don't want to talk about it?" he asked, affectionately tucking her hair behind her ear, letting the tips of his fingers brush against her soft skin.

She nodded. Didn't want to talk about this one, the images that yanked her out of sleep.

"You don't have to be embarrassed, Row; it's not the first time it's happened."

Rowan's head snapped up, her eyes lit with surprise and something akin to humiliation. "When?"

He shrugged lightly. "Just sometimes. You weren't yelling or anything. Just crying in your sleep a little, talking." And the things he heard, whispered from her lips, made him wish he could take the pain for her.

"Why didn't you wake me up?"

Pause. "When I told you it'd be okay and just held you…you calmed down. So, I didn't see the point."

"Oh." She gave a truncated chuckle of self-deprecation. "I thought, maybe, since I was sleeping during the day I might not…"

God, she was tired, he saw. He couldn't sleep with her every night so he didn't know exactly how well she slept. So he asked Caleb. Was she getting any sleep? Was her insomnia worse? No, she wasn't getting a lot of sleep. Her insomnia is the same. It was in her eyes. Drifting. Even in class at times.

Reid coaxed her back into bed. He wrapped them under the covers, pulled her tight against his chest, kissed the nape of her neck, and sensed rather than saw her faint smile.

"Should I sing you a lullaby?"

Her laugh was a bit stronger this time. "Please, no."

"Hey! My voice isn't that bad," he replied with mock-hurt.

"A parrot sings better than you."

He snorted. "How about humming?"

"I'd rather listen to you snore."

"I don't snore. _Old_ people snore."

Rowan grinned. "Yes, you do. A little."

Just like that, Reid had set her at ease, abating the shadows so she could close her eyes, nothing but the natural darkness behind her lids meeting her.

Reid listened to her breathing become faint and even. He spooned closer, not helping that his groin was nudging her. His thumb idly stroked the span of skin between her breasts, enjoying the velvety softness. _How does she get her skin so soft?_ he wondered. Reid wished that he could lay with her in bed like this everyday and night. They did this every Sunday, the best part of the week. Making love to her for hours, then napping between, maybe have a snack, make love again. They weren't sneaking around, if someone came out and asked them straight if they were sleeping together, neither would deny it; rather, it was about finding a comfortable place where they wouldn't be constantly interrupted, or have someone walk in on them. So, it was usually to his house they went.

After high school, he thought, definitely they'd get a place of their own. A house. Not an apartment because the animals had to have enough room to play around. They were so used to having the run of the Danvers mansion, such a large place, that they likely would go stir crazy in a smaller environment. Had to have a big yard, too, he reminded himself. A place close enough to their respective schools. Reid was likely going to Boston University, as scouts had been offering him scholarships to various institutions for swimming.

Then it occurred to him, he wasn't planning a place for them to just live, he was planning a life for them. Permanent. Forever. A place where they would grow old together.

A wash of pleasure and contentment came over him. Reid could not imagine anything else he wanted more than a life with Rowan. He knew she hadn't taken him completely serious when he'd mentioned moving in together after graduation; perhaps because it was several months off. Oh well, he'd just keep bringing it up now and again so she wouldn't forget.

He went to sleep with these plans in his mind. And when he was completely under, he had a dream of his own. One of him and Rowan married.

----

An hour later Rowan woke up. No screaming. No crying. Something inside her told her to open her eyes. She wasn't sure what she was seeing out the window was real. It could just be the clouds getting darker. A dark swirling miasma. Reminded her of a portal. A chill went down her spine. She turned around, back to the window, cuddled up into Reid's warm chest.

---

Monday after school was another Student Council meeting. Since Caleb's talk with Millicent, she had been tolerating him at best, for the sake of academia. It would have been difficult to ignore him as she was vice president. Caleb had been rehearsing an apology in his mind all day; for questioning her reasoning, sounding self-righteous.

So when he called the meeting to an end, it was like déjà vu approaching her for a brief talk.

Millicent sighed. "Yes?"

He supposed this time he deserved the curt response. "I wanted to apologize."

"For?"

_She's going to make me grovel._ "For questioning you about the newspaper."

"Ah." Millicent nodded. "That was last Thursday."

Caleb hoped the tic in his jaw wasn't too noticeable. "It's a belated, but no less sincere apology."

Thin lips curled into a parody of what might be called a smile. "All right." She hitched her bag and made to leave.

"Wait. That's it?"

Pivoting slowly around, she said, "Do you have something else to apologize for?"

He locked his sigh of frustration deep in his chest; pinched the bridge of his nose between fore finger and thumb. "I'm trying here, all right? I want us to at least…be cordial to one another, for Judy."

Millicent's face softened. A little. "I have no problem."

His brow rose. "No problem? Don't B.S. me."

Her eyes narrowed. "Fine," she admitted primly. "I do have a problem. I don't think you're good for Judy."

"Why not?"

She glared at him as if he should already know. "Do you _hear_ the talk around this school? What they say about Judy?"

"I've heard," he replied, displeased.

"Yeah, I'm sure you have. You and your friends-"

He waved his hand. "Wait, what do my friends have to do with this?"

Millicent snorted. "Please. Your friends used to make fun of Judy back in junior high."

He was stunned. "You're talking about something that happened over five years ago?"

"What I'm _talking _aboutis you not doing anything about your stuck-up friends talking then, and you're not doing anything _now_."

"My friends like Judy," he told her. "They haven't said one thing against her."

She rolled her eyes disbelievingly. "Yeah? Not even Reid? He was the one who gave Judy the moniker 'Chubs' in the sixth grade. And it stuck."

Caleb gave pause to think about this. "I don't-"

"Remember? Typical. You wouldn't. Too busy off in your little world with your untouchable friends."

"Actually," Caleb said, his anger giving way, "I might have been more worried about the fact that my dad was dying, my mom was becoming an alcoholic; pretty much just leaving my sister and me to fend for ourselves at home." Because around the sixth grade was when things at home started going downhill. Those were dark, unpredictable days. "So, excuse me for not listening too closely when Reid was shooting his mouth off, like always."

This shut her mouth good and tight. Took the wind out of her sails.

"But really that's beside the point." Caleb was calmer now. "I can't control what other people say about Judy. If I ever hear anything, you can be damned sure I would let them know I heard it; and my friends would do the same." Pause. "And I want you to hear this: _I_ like Judy. _I_ care about Judy. _I_ think she's a smart, funny, compassionate, beautiful person."

He heaved a breath, stepped back; couldn't believe he'd just bared his heart to Millicent. Collecting his books and bag, saying nothing more, he avoided her eyes.

"Okay," she uttered quietly.

He spared a brief, wary glance at her.

"I suppose…" – she pulled a face that made her look like she'd swallowed a bug – "I owe you…a…apology." Millicent cleared her throat. "I just do not want Judy to get hurt. She's my best friend."

Caleb nodded. "And I don't want to hurt her."

She sniffed. "Good, because if you do, expect to leave our confrontation unmanned."

----

"Unmanned?" Pogue laughed. "Shit."

"I think she was serious," Caleb said as he removed Bruce Lee from his laptop before his feet could accidentally hit a wrong key.

It was almost eleven. He saved his essay and printed it out.

"At least you've been warned," Pogue went on.

Caleb half-grinned. "Not that I needed it."

"It's a girl's prerogative to threaten a guy's family jewels if he hurts her friends."

They talked for a bit more, then hung up. After the talk with Millicent he'd driven home feeling pretty good, like he had made some headway. Then, to his surprise, he found his mom preparing dinner. Something she hadn't done in a long time. Rowan got her culinary skills from Evelyn who used to a chef/caterer before Caleb was born; afterwards, she worked part time until Rowan came along. William Danvers III had had a lot of business associates, so it fell on the wife to prepare elaborate dinners. And when the other wives were throwing a party, they always asked for Evelyn's expertise.

So around six, Caleb, Rowan and their mother had dinner together. Evelyn hadn't had a drop of alcohol since Caleb's birthday, and so far showed no signs of falling off the wagon. The two siblings couldn't help but be wary though. But no less hopeful.

When his paper was finished printing, he put it in his binder so he wouldn't forget it. Caleb took Bruce Lee and headed for Rowan's room. She was already in bed, his mom was checking a thermometer with a furrowed brow.

He couldn't remember the last time Evelyn had tended to Rowan like this.

"Hey, Cay," Rowan said, her voice a little hoarse.

He sat on the bed. "You okay?" Reached over to touch her forehead. Warm.

"A slight fever," Evelyn informed him. "If it doesn't go down you should stay home tomorrow. You haven't been getting enough sleep, sweetie."

Rowan was registering her mom's vigilance with difficulty. "I'm fine."

Evelyn gave her a mom look that said _I know better_. "I'll make you some tea." She kissed her daughter on the forehead, smiled affectionately at Caleb and left the room.

"She's right. You haven't been sleeping enough."

"Oh, God, tag-team," she emoted.

He chuckled. "Yeah…going to take some getting used to, huh?"

"Yeah." It was nice however…having her mom back. Rowan let Bruce Lee lay on her stomach. Ernie plopped his head on Caleb's thigh.

Caleb saw his sister had drifted off, staring out the window while idly petting Bruce Lee's head.

"Can't sleep," she whispered. "They don't go away." _It doesn't go away. Still out there._

"Who's 'they'?"

She didn't answer for several moments, Caleb wasn't sure if she heard him.

"I miss Nana." Her voice was quiet, sad.

Rowan tended to meander when she had a fever so he didn't try to keep her on track. "I know you do."

Closing her eyes, but not falling asleep. "He's still out there, too. Somewhere."

Pause. "Chase?"

"He's all alone. No friends…no family…" Her voice cracked.

_Was this burdening her all this time?_ he wondered. Chase's fate? "He made his choices," he said firmly, unable to feel sympathy for Chase Collins.

Evelyn came back before Rowan could respond. She could tell instantly that her fever had spiked. It was the same when she was a child. It took a moment to get Rowan to focus on her, finally she turned her dark brown eyes away from the window.

"Caleb, will you get me a cool washcloth, please?"

She helped Rowan sit up and drink her tea. When Caleb came out of the bathroom with a wet cloth, he heard his sister say, "I miss Daddy, too."

* * *

**I wanted this to be a shorter chapter so I wouldn't stray from the core of what's bothering Rowan. I hope she's not coming off too "woe is me" though.**

**I don't want her to be self-pitying. **

**Feedback always welcome. There are some new people alerting this story. What do you guys think?**


	14. Spellbound

**XIV. Spellbound**

_Burning here, in the room  
Feeling that the walls are moving closer  
Silent scene the dark takes me  
Leads me to the ending of another day__  
I'm haunted  
-Lacuna Coil_

"Hi, Toby," Rowan said, feeling the cold rush that precipitated the ghost's presence.

He came to stand next to her by Spensers' lake, no less than twenty feet from the water's edge. The very lake where his body lay at the bottom. He worried about his friend, who was becoming more grim by the day. Dark circles shadowed her eyes. Rowan hadn't been in school yesterday because of a twenty-four hour fever.

"Are you okay?"

She shut her eyes, opened them slowly. "I guess." Her gaze wound upwards. "Can you see that?"

He followed the direction of her stare. It was a whirl of black cloud. "Yes. Do you know what it is?"

Pause, then a shake of her head. "I don't know. But I think it's here for me." Rowan's hands clenched in the pocket's of her black knee-length pea coat.

A light snow was falling, struggling to cling to the ground that wasn't quite cold enough to sustain the snowflakes. But it was going to get colder, already feeling the drop of temperature in her bones. Right hip aching all the way down to her tibia; both had been damaged in the car crash.

She should really be in class, but being in a room full of people right now felt suffocating. She needed air, space. Quiet. Not to mention this was a better place to stare at the nebulous swirl that continued to dog her. It might just be her imagination, but Toby could see it, too. Maybe because he was a ghost. Nobody else was seeing it.

"Do you want to leave here, Toby?" she asked.

His brow rose. "Leave Spensers?" The ghost chuckled, bemused. "I…don't know. I've been here for so long." He didn't understand why he hadn't "crossed over." Instead, his spirit relocated to the Gray Lands; that place between Life and Death where a ghost harvested its strength to walk among the living. Like he was now. "Why…Why do you think I didn't…?"

Rowan turned her head to look at him. "I can only guess. You were still alive when you sunk to the bottom of the lake. When there's that much confusion as you're dying, your spirit can get lost. Did you know you were dying?"

Toby tried hard to remember. "I didn't even know I was dead…I thought I was dreaming when no one could see me, and my parents came here…"

"That's why."

"But I accepted that I was dead later on. And even after you found out what happened to my parents, I'm still here."

It had hurt to hear it, but he was glad he knew. The last time he had seen his mother and father was when they were collecting his belongings from his dorm room. His father was stone-faced, his mother grieved beyond belief. And as they walked down the hall, Toby had screamed; then heard his mother gasp and whirl around as if she heard him. Then they were gone. His mom died of pure grief eight years later, and his dad from a heart attack soon after. What hurt the most was that they had died not knowing what had happened to him.

"Tell me if you want to go, and I'll help you," she said.

Silence. "Well, you're my only friend, and you're graduating-"

A twig snapped, loudly; followed by leaves crunching; both turned sharply. Twigs snap all the time, but this sounded like heavy feet tread on one carelessly. If Toby had a beating heart it would be racing as fast as Rowan's right now. The woods were still, though, nothing moved, not even them. After a minute they relaxed; Rowan noticed that the dense cloud was gone without a trace.

Just as she was about to turn around, she registered a presence, bumped into it.

She screamed.

"Hey!" Reid said, holding onto her shoulders so she wouldn't bolt. "It's just me."

"Jesus," she hissed, head hung, trying to catch her breath. If he wasn't holding her up she would definitely fall on her knees.

"Such stealth," Toby said.

"Are you okay?" Reid asked.

Rowan nodded furtively. "I didn't even hear you."

"Yeah, your scream kind of gave that away." He smiled. "You're kind of jumpy."

She chuckled wryly. "God, you're lucky Toby's already dead or you'd have scared him to death." She grinned in the ghost's direction. "Can't say the same for me though."

"Sorry, Tobes," Reid said.

The ghost nodded even though the blond couldn't see it. "Was it him that snapped the twig?" Reid had come in the opposite direction though.

"How'd you know I was here?" she asked.

He looked genuinely consternated for a brief moment. "I don't know." Then he grinned. "Must be that Blood Bond at work."

"Must be." Rowan found herself falling into his arms. He was so warm. Safe.

"You should have told me you were skipping," Reid said with a mock-whine.

"You had swimming," she said. "Can't miss that." Her eyes glanced in the direction of the cloud to see if it was still gone. She saw nothing.

Reid followed her gaze, wondering what she was looking at. "Are you okay?" His question more serious this time.

"Yeah. I just needed some air."

Reid had been worried yesterday with her holding a fever and all. He was glad it abated and hadn't turned into anything worse. At least this Friday freed them up for Thanksgiving vacation. A whole week without school. Tyler was finally going to meet Dizzy's parents in Napa; Gabriel was going to Hunter's (his mom's) to meet her for the first time.

"You should eat lunch, Rowan," Toby advised her.

Rowan pulled a face. "You're as bad as the rest of them, you know that?"

Toby laughed, faded into the Gray Lands.

"Maybe once this Blood Bond gets stronger I'll be able to see him," Reid pondered. He took Rowan's hand, walked back towards the school.

"Anything's possible with a Blood Bond." Rowan clutched his hand.

After a minute, he asked, "Do you remember me calling Judy 'Chubs'?" They had been talking about it in the locker room, and Reid honestly couldn't remember.

Rowan puffed laughter. "Yeah. The first time you did I told you it was mean and didn't talk to you for the rest of the day." Reid's face scrunched, thinking back. "And you said you wouldn't do it anymore. But a few weeks later, I overheard you calling her that again; and I didn't talk to you all weekend."

"Ohh, yeah," he mused. Reid always remembered the times when Rowan gave him the silent treatment. It was more irksome than a mosquito bite.

"Ringing bells now, huh?"

He snorted. "Was I that big an asshole?" He hadn't made fun of a girl for being fat in years; only ragging on chicks if they were bitchy to him first. Like Millicent.

Rowan chuckled fully now. "Sometimes."

Reid pulled her close to his side, kissed her on the head. "But you always set me straight. Imagine how big a jackass I would have been without you."

She looked up at him. "You're a good person, Reid. With or without me."

"Better with you, though."

----

Rowan lit some aromatherapy candles before bed that night, hoping they might help her sleep.

"Rowan, baby?" Her mom knocked softly on her door.

"Yup?"

The door opened. Evelyn was holding Bruce Lee to her side. "I'm missing my pearl necklace. My grandmother's?" She glanced at the thieving ferret. "I also caught him trying to pilfer one of my rings."

"Bruce Lee," Rowan chastised.

The ferret dooked and wiggled. Evelyn set him down. Ernie padded over to the smaller animal and nudged him with his nose.

"Bruce Lee," Rowan got his attention. She pointed to her neck. "Pearls."

The German shepherd nudged the ferret and they were off to retrieve Evelyn's pearls. Normally it would be Bubbe running interference, but she was still at Pogue's, having not declared him fit to sleep the nights by himself yet.

Evelyn had always accepted Rowan's animals, and didn't mind that she adopted them into the house. She had strictly forbid any reptiles and rats, however. Mice she might tolerate, but rats, with their loathsome tails? She shuddered.

Her mom sat on the side of her bed, tucked her daughter's hair behind her ear. "How are you feeling?"

She shrugged one-shoulder. "Okay." Evelyn checked her forehead for fever anyway. "Guess what?"

"What?" Evelyn smiled. Then she listened as her daughter told her, excitedly, about the litter of puppies she helped receive from a birthing mixed breed at the humane society today.

"They all survived," Rowan finished. "Which is great, because Lottie was a stray, found in an alleyway."

"That's awful."

Rowan nodded. "I think after they're weaned, they'll fine some great homes."

"I hope so." God, how she had missed talking to daughter like this, completely lucid without the haze of alcohol clouding her senses. She was even getting through to Caleb.

Ernie's nails clicking on the hardwood floors sounded their arrival. Bruce Lee was on Ernie's back with a bundle of pearls clutched against him. Ernie stopped next to Evelyn, and she took the pearls from the ferret, inspected them for damage. Mother and daughter talked a bit more before saying goodnight.

Rowan got under the covers, waited for the animals to get comfortable before she settled completely. The candles created wispy shadows throughout the room, in accord with the increasing amount of snow that was blowing outside. Rowan lay on her side facing the windows. Within an hour she was on the verge of drifting off when the candles began to dim of their own volition. Well, not really dim, or even flicker out; just a gradually shrinking of the flames until the room was cloaked in darkness.

Ernie woke up, let out a muffled bark deep in his throat, and Bruce Lee stirred.

"Shh, it's okay," she soothed.

Rowan got out of bed. The floors were ice cold. Putting on her slippers she went to the window, peeked out. That cloud was back. Swirling closer to the ground now like a black twister. Ernie barked again, this time waking the ferret up completely that began sounding his own protestations at the nocturnal disturbance.

Rowan shushed them again, told them to get under the blankets. The best place to hide from a non-corporeal entity? Under the covers. It was not just a child hideout of lore, but a genuinely effective ward against malevolent specters. Never hide underneath the bed though. Big no-no.

The animals immediately quieted down, leaving Rowan to further inspect the cloud that was eclipsing her peace of mind. The harder she stared the more it began to take shape; it was now molded into a man whose features she couldn't make out from where she stood. She tugged a sweater over her head, switched her slippers for socks and shoes, and headed outside.

She went out through the back door of her sanctum sanctorum that led out into the garden. The entity was still there, standing still. She stopped some thirty feet away from him; the snow blew against her face, the cold nipped at her skin.

"Keeper…"

Her heart plunged further into her stomach. Another assassin? Of course, she couldn't have expected them to give up now that she was officially the Keeper of the Covenant and Whitelighter. Rowan swallowed a jagged lump in her throat. The last time one of these guys had attacked her was near Spensers' lake. A woman had come as a "messenger" while another had assaulted she and Hunter from behind, catapulting her into the frigid water and Hunter into a tree.

"Now a Whitelighter…" it said. "More power than you know what to do with."

It was obvious he was going to insult her.

"Weakens you…" he went on in monotone, though contempt backed up his words. "How the gloom of darkness weighs on your shoulders. So young. So…"

"Are you going to try and kill me tonight?" she interrupted. "Or can I go?"

He was silent for a minute. "Not tonight…soon. "

"Rowan?"

She whirled around; her brother was emerging from her apothecary.

"Soon, Keeper…" it said, and vanished.

Caleb had frozen momentarily, not sure what he was seeing. "Rowan!" He ran over to her. "What…?"

"Another assassin."

Her brother pulled her close to him, guarding her with his larger body as he furtively checked the grounds.

"He's gone," she whispered, not because she was afraid of someone hearing, more she couldn't summon the strength to raise her voice.

Caleb hustled her back into the house. "You shouldn't have gone out there."

Ernie and Bruce Lee were waiting anxiously in the apothecary. "They alerted you." She smirked.

"Good thing someone did," he retorted. "Jesus, Rowan…"

Rowan sighed. Her adrenaline from the encounter was ebbing, now she was shivering. Caleb didn't bother starting the fire in the sitting half of the apothecary manually; he just used his Power and flames ignited in the hearth. He sat down next to her after draping a blanket over her shoulders.

"How long was it out there?"

Rowan shrugged. "I didn't know it was…one of them. He was a cloud…following me for weeks."

Pause. "Why didn't you say something?"

"Because I didn't know what it was!" She rubbed her eyes. "I thought I was the only one who was seeing it. Then I asked Toby and he saw it, too."

Caleb put his arm around her, couldn't find it in him to lecture her further. She was sixteen years old and warlocks were out to kill her.

"We'll figure this out," he told her.

Quietly, she said, "I don't think we should tell mom." Her eyes searched her brother's for agreement.

"Yeah." There was nothing their mom could do about this anyway. And he didn't want to trigger any extra cravings for alcohol. "Okay."

----

"You should have told _us_, Rowan," Pogue said sternly.

Thursday evening at Pogue and Hunter's apartment; Caleb wasn't going to keep this from the rest of them even though Rowan didn't want to bother anyone.

"I said I didn't know what it was," she defended herself.

"Would you have told us if Caleb hadn't seen it last night?" Reid asked. He sat back against the couch; face hard, arms crossed over his chest.

Rowan heard the bite in his tone, glanced at him quizzically.

"Why didn't I feel it?" Hunter wondered aloud.

Silence. Then Tyler spoke, "Maybe because he wasn't going to…" _Kill her_. There was no need to say it aloud.

Nevertheless, Hunter was frustrated. He was already nervous about introducing his mom to Gabriel; now he was even more ill at ease taking off for Thanksgiving vacation, leaving Rowan here for the warlocks who wanted her dead.

Rowan let them converse amongst themselves while she petted Bubbe behind her ears. She wasn't aware that Reid was glaring at her intensely.

An hour later, after making Rowan promise she would tell them if she sensed or saw anything that might endanger her, they broke up to go their separate ways. Reid was first to hustle out of the apartment with barely a goodbye to Rowan.

She followed him outside into the blistery cold. "Reid!"

He turned, flipping the set of keys around his finger.

Rowan searched his eyes. "You're mad."

"You think?"

"Why?"

He puffed incredulously. "Why? Jesus Christ, Rowan. You… I asked you if anything was wrong, more than once, and you said nothing."

"I already told you why I didn't."

"And what about everything else?" he demanded. "You are always shutting me out when something's bothering you."

"No, I don't."

"The hell you don't, Rowan," he seethed. "I tell you everything. I always come to you when something ticks me off. Why can't you talk to me? Huh?" He bent his head so it was closer to hers. "Even with your nightmares, when I'm right _next_ to you, you turn away."

Rowan wanted to deny it yet again, but she knew that Reid right; and she was sorry she'd made him feel this way.

"I know…" He sighed. "I know you don't want to burden me. But I'm telling you it's _not_."

Rowan nodded.

"I hate seeing you in pain, Row. And I really hate that…you won't even let me in on this." Reid shook his head. He was more hurt than mad, but both were palpable.

Tyler came out of the apartment then. He was surprised when Reid tossed him the keys.

"See you tomorrow," Reid said. He gave her a quick peck on the cheek and headed to the car.

Tyler gave her a hug. "You okay?"

"Sorry, Ty."

"It's okay. You'll just tell us from now on." His tone was firm, not even he was up for negotiating this point.

"Yeah, I will. Promise."

* * *

**It's rare that Reid gets legitimately angry at Rowan for something. I thought this was a significant shift in the dynamic of their relationship.**

**Comments always welcome! :)  
**


	15. Know You By Heart

**XV. Know You By Heart**

_Anywhere I will find you  
Like my pulse is beating inside you  
Don't let the chaos separate us  
I'm there wherever you are_  
'_Cause I know you, 'cause I know you  
I know you by heart  
-Marie Digby_

Of course Reid couldn't stay mad at her. He wasn't letting her off the hook, but what good would it do to hold a grudge? Sure, he definitely could hold a grudge, but against Rowan? No. Reid sort of understood why she didn't always open up, it was probably hard to talk about; he just wanted her to know without a doubt that he would never think less of her for feeling haunted like she did.

And Rowan wasn't the type to let something like this fester or come between she and Reid. She sincerely apologized for hurting him; it was the last thing she'd ever want to do; and promised that she would try to be more open with him, not hide her pain by shutting him out.

Thanksgiving vacation went by without any dark cloud sightings or late night visits from assassins. So they went about their days as usual, but remained vigilant.

Bubbe came home, the orange tabby cat having deemed Pogue fit to spend his nights without her feline presence. Mo and Bo, the tropical fish who resided in the sanctum sanctorum, were glad to have their favorite feline back to continue their staring contests.

The first week of December was Rowan's seventeenth birthday. They threw her a small birthday party, knowing she didn't like big ones, preferring the more intimate setting of close family and friends. Her brothers and Reid always wreaked their revenge by making her wear a birthday hat like she made them do on their birthdays. Yet she always managed to convincingly act as if it didn't bother her in the slightest, therefore blunting their coup.

The Wednesday before Reid and Rowan's first anniversary, she fell sick. It was Aaron Abbot who found her feverish, eyes glazed, short of breath, on the library floor. The fever fluctuated for the rest of the day, but it had weakened her, so on Thursday she stayed home while her sober mother took care of her; making sure to keep the hospital on stand-by in case her daughter's condition grew worse.

----

Reid was nervous. It was his and Rowan's first anniversary, and the time gone by was palpable, in a good way, of course. He had had other plans, to take Rowan out, but she was still sapped from the last few days of her fever; recommended by her doctor to not overexert herself and get plenty of rest, which had now abated, so plans changed. This was going to be a surprise.

"Is it set up?" he asked Tyler.

Tyler nodded. "Everything."

"The candles? You got the CD, right?" He shot questions at him like darts. "The lights are set up?"

He rolled his eyes. "Yes. I got everything."

Reid was wearing black slacks, black button down shirt, his fingerless gloves. Since it was a special day, getting semi-formal wasn't resented.

"And the barrier's still holding up?" Reid interrogated. "You checked, right?"

"Yes," Tyler hissed, exasperated. "I don't want her to freeze."

Reid went out back to the garden to double-check everything. He had never had any sort of anniversary before and he wanted this to be perfect. And he would make sure every anniversary after this was perfect, too. Rowan deserved no less.

----

Maria brushed out Rowan's hair before styling it in a half-up/half-down do, leaving some wavy tendrils to frame her face.

"Thanks," Rowan said.

Maria was gazing at her with wide, almost teary, eyes.

"What's wrong?"

She shook her head. "Nothing. You just look so pretty."

Rowan tipped her head to the side, a quizzical expression on her face. She was wearing her black Ludlow boots, knee length blue skirt with silver filigree, a matching blue cashmere V-neck sweater, and her Hanging Garden necklace. It was hardly fancy by any means; she was just having a meal with Reid, Tyler and Dizzy.

Earlier today they had exchanged gifts, and watched some movies together because she wasn't up to enough strength to expend her energy outdoors. Personally, she thought her mom and the doctor was making a mountain out of a molehill, but…

_You're prone to relapses,_ the doctor had said.

Rowan smiled. "And you guys are celebrating _your_ one-year anniversary at the end of the month."

At this, Maria beamed. "Rowan…I'm ready."

Pause. Slight confusion. "Maybe the fever addled my brain, but…ready for what?"

"You _know_," she insisted. Maria leaned in, whispered, "To make love to Tyler."

"Oh." Rowan laughed a little.

"I hope he feels the same."

"I don't think you have to worry about that," Rowan assured her.

A knock sounded on the door. Tyler came in.

"Hey, my two favorite ladies," he said.

Maria practically skipped over to him. "Is it set?" she asked so Rowan couldn't hear.

He nodded.

The three of them headed downstairs. Rowan thought that the four of them were going to have dinner, but it was just going to be her and Reid while Tyler and Maria watched the three animals in the den.

Reid was waiting at the foot of the stairs with her coat in hand. He grinned.

"Okay, have fun," Maria chimed.

Rowan was confused.

"It's just going to be you and me tonight," Reid said. He waved off Tyler and Maria, helped Rowan into her coat.

"Where're we going?" she asked.

"It's a surprise." Reid took her hand and led her down the hall and to the back of the mansion.

"We're going outside?"

"Don't worry; I've got heat in the works." He opened the door for her.

The garden was transformed into a winter wonderland. The garden already had lighting but Reid made it more fantastical with solar lights in the shape of fireflies and faeries all down the path that led to the gazebo where he had a meal set out for them.

"You like it?" he asked.

"It's beautiful," she said, then kissed him.

Reid had put a magic barrier around the gazebo to keep the cold and biting wind out. It was as warm within the shield as any adequately heated bedroom. Plus, they could still see outside, an added bonus with the lighting pattern and the snowflakes coming down like immaculate falling stars.

He helped her out of her jacket before pulling out her chair.

"How did I not know about this?" she wondered. "I can see this place from my bedroom."

Reid snickered deviously, popped the cork on the sparkling cider. "Aren't the animals and Maria good at distraction?"

"Apparently. My psychometry didn't even go off."

"Hell yeah!" he exclaimed. "I couldn't have this surprise ruined."

She smiled. "Well, I love this surprise, Reid."

His grin was bright and satisfied. He could barely eat his food because his gaze was riveted on Rowan. The candles played wispy shadows across her beautiful face; serene, happy.

When they were finished eating, Reid clicked the remote for the stereo and their song began to play. "Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman" by Bryan Adams.

He extended his hand for her to take, she slipped her smaller hand in his and he pulled her close. It was the song they had danced to at least year's winter ball at Spensers, the song they had danced to when Reid first told Rowan that he was in love with her. He remembered how nervous he'd been; both worried and expectant as to what her reaction would be.

_That had been a packed night of emotions,_ Reid thought.

But now, here he was with Rowan pressed close to him. She was his, and he hers. He loved her more than anything and could not imagine a person more fitted for him. Reid's mind flipped through the memories of the past year; their first kiss as a couple, the first time they'd been very intimate with one another, and then, the first time they had made love.

He could still recall how he'd felt; when she told him that she needed him, when her bare thighs had wrapped themselves around his waist. The feel of her breasts against his chest, and then thrusting into her. That was heaven, and every time thereafter had been heaven.

Rowan felt Reid's heart beating against her temple where her head rested. He had his chin atop her head, his hand low on her back. He was warm, always warm to her. She wondered what she'd done to deserve someone who loved her so much like Reid did. Always there for her, putting up with her bouts of depression and anxiety when most people would have thrown their hands up in surrender long ago.

He was a good person, Rowan believed that unequivocally, and she wished that he believed it just as much; not just banking his good heart as her doing. With or without her, Reid was beautiful, no matter what he said.

Her ponderings were interrupted when she felt Reid near her pelvis, and it wasn't his belt jutting out. She smiled to herself. He must have been somewhat oblivious to it because he didn't say anything. It was awing how she could arouse him like that, sometimes with just a touch. Reid did that to her, too. When they made love; he touched every part of her, scars included, and he never once recoiled.

And…

_Wow,_ Rowan thought, smiling against his chest. Her psychometry was ringing and she was getting some pretty clear images of what was going through Reid's mind. And his heightened bodily state was passing over to her.

_That blood bond at work_, she mused. It wasn't just her intuition.

Good thing he was holding onto her firmly, otherwise her buckling knees would have given out beneath her.

The music continued to play, the melody embracing their lover's dance.

What would she do if she lost him? Rowan asked herself.

It was a gut-wrenching hypothetical that was beyond unpleasant to have in her mind. She had lost people close to her; Nana, her dad, Abel… And as much as those hurt, she knew she would survive that pain; accept the loss of their presence eventually. Abel had taken the longest to accept because he was still alive, out there somewhere.

But the pain had dulled over time…

Reid stiffened, stepped away from her.

"What?" Rowan asked, jarred by his abrupt recoil.

"Abel?" he questioned angrily.

Her brow rose.

"Yeah, I caught that," he said tersely.

Rowan shook her head. "You didn't catch all of it then." She put her hands on his rigid shoulders. "I was thinking that I accepted the pain of losing him, even though it took a while. But I was asking myself if I could ever get over or accept the possibility of losing _you_."

The hot air went out of him and he relaxed.

"And I don't think I ever could. I love you too much, Reid Garwin."

Reid pulled her into a soul-searing kiss that robbed them of breath.

"Don't ever worry about losing me," he said softly, her head cupped in his hands. "I'm not going anywhere."

She gave a gentle smile. Fear, doubts, worries perished in that moment. Rowan wasn't aware she was examining his face so intently until he spoke.

"What're you doing?" Reid planted a lingering, soft kiss on her lips. "Memorizing me by heart?"

"No," she replied, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I already know you by heart."

----

"What do you think they're doing?" Maria asked Tyler.

They were in the den, laid out on the couch, her back against his chest. Tyler wasn't sure what was on the television, he'd been too busy reveling in holding his girlfriend and putting light kisses on her neck.

He half-smiled. "Doing what couples do on anniversaries."

She wiggled out of his embrace to sit up. "Ours is coming up."

"I know. You think I'd forget?" He took her hand.

"No…" She licked her lips, a contemplative expression coming over her face.

He knew what that look meant; there was something on her mind that she'd been trying to put into words for some time. Tyler sat up, too.

"Ty…" – deep breath – "I'm ready."

Silence. The sound of three animals snuffling and snoring mingled with the television, along with the buzzing confusion in Tyler's mind.

"Well?" Maria inquired, looking at him expectantly.

He chuckled sheepishly. "I… I don't know… Ready for what?"

"To make love," she stressed.

His eyes popped open. "_Now_?"

Maria laughed. "No, silly! On our anniversary." She cleared her throat. "I mean…if you want to."

A big, goofy grin split Tyler's lips. "What do you think?"

A blush colored Maria's cheeks.

It wasn't as if they'd never done anything, they had just never crossed the line over to Sex. And Tyler was going to make it better than Maria's first time. She'd remember it for the rest of their lives.

----

Caleb was on cloud nine when he got home around midnight. He had said goodbye to Judy with a soft, lingering kiss after their date; it had infused him with a warmth he'd never felt before. And he could still feel her supple lips against his. With a grin glued on his face, he entered the house.

"I thought you'd be out later."

Caleb stopped, hearing his mother's voice from the sitting room. _Please be sober._ Slowly, he walked. Bubbe was on Evelyn's lap, getting a good ear rub. The lights from the large Christmas tree illuminated the room along with the blazing fire.

His mother turned her head towards her son, smiled. "How was your date?"

He breathed an inward sigh of relief. Her voice was clear, languid; a cup of hot tea in expensive china was set on the table beside her.

"It was good," he replied, his grin still present.

Evelyn gave her son a knowing smile. "I'm glad." Caleb sat in the chair next to her. She hadn't met Judy yet; and had learned more about her from Rowan than Caleb. "And when will I get to meet the girl that my son is smitten with?"

Caleb laughed. "I'll get Rowan for that."

She chuckled with him. "Ah. But it's true?"

Pause. "I like her a lot." More than like…he thought he was falling in love.

Evelyn hoped her son found a girl who truly deserved him. Unlike that Sarah person. Shallow waters there. Even in her semi-inebriated state, Evelyn had seen right through the blond Caleb had revealed the secret of the Covenant to. She had known Sarah wouldn't last.

"Why don't you invite Judy over for dinner sometime this week before Christmas break?" she suggested.

"I'll ask her," he said.

He kissed his mom goodnight and went upstairs. When he flicked on his light he spotted something burrowing a trail under his blanket. He pulled a face, turned back the covers. Bruce Lee stopped, dooked, peered at Caleb with dark, beady eyes.

"How was your date?" Rowan stood in the doorway with Ernie at her side.

"Hey, how're you feeling Lil Bit?" he asked.

Rowan plopped on his bed. "Pretty good." She would after the night she had.

"Enjoy Reid's surprise?"

She smiled wide. "Yup." Her eyes narrowed. "But don't change the subject, Cay." Then her eyes lit up. "You kissed her!"

Caleb grimaced. "Damn it."

"I'm so happy for you, Cay." She hugged him tightly. "Nana was right."

"About what?"

"Oh…" – her eyes flicked away – "Just something she said…"

"Said what?"

Rowan shrugged carelessly. "Well, when Judy pushed you away last year… Nana said not to worry, because it was meant to be, and you guys would find each other again. Nana was never wrong."

His lips curved upwards contentedly. "No, she never was."

* * *

**Just wanted to say thank you to FabulousLasVegas and DebBee for keeping up with me every chapter w/ their keen support. :D**

**I'd love to hear what more people think, too. Constructive criticism is always welcome.**

**I'll post my new chapter after I get at least five reviews. _(*whispers* I'll see how that works...)_**

**Maybe I should spread out my updates more... *mumbles***


	16. For Whom the Bell Tolls

**XVI. For Whom the Bell Tolls**

_We all of us have our particular devil  
who rides us and torments us,  
and we must give battle in the end.  
-Daphne du Maurier_

"Meredith, why is this creature staring at me?" Joseph Garwin eyed the ferret suspiciously.

His wife, Meredith, smirked. She patted his hand and took a sip of her sparkling water. The families' Christmas Eve get-together was being held at Evelyn's this year for the first time in a long while. The tree was bright and festive, with other decorations complementing the atmosphere of good tidings and family togetherness. They were all dressed in semi-formal wear; Ernie wore his reindeer antlers proudly, Bruce Lee was dressed as an elf, and Bubbe as Mrs. Claus.

Bruce Lee dooked, continuing to ogle Mr. Garwin.

Everyone chuckled, amused at Joseph's discomfiture.

"Did you forget his name, Mr. Garwin?" Rowan bemoaned, her hand over her heart.

"Of course not…" But he trailed off without an answer.

"Ah, come on, Dad, you're going to hurt his feelings," Reid joked, receiving a stern glare in return.

"Well?" Wayne Parry inquired.

"It's…" Joseph struggled for an answer. God, he remembered this happening years and years ago when Rowan had first gotten Bubbe.

Suddenly, Bruce Lee let out a shriek of anguish and reclined on his back with his eyes closed.

"Look what you've done, Joe." Glenn Simms shook his head in shame.

"For the love of…" Joseph clenched his jaw.

The ferret gave up the act, but continued to stare at Joseph intently.

"All right, time for some music," Wayne exclaimed. He smiled. "Rowan?"

She froze in her chair. God, when was the last time she played the piano and sang for the family at a gathering? Her family immediately began urging her to sit on the piano bench. One of her many sedentary activities had been piano lessons as a child. Rowan also possessed a sweet voice that was as smooth as honey, and pitch-perfect as an angel.

"No…" she protested.

Reid kissed her on her cheek. "Come on, Row."

"Please, sing for us, sweetie," Evelyn urged.

She pulled a face, but let herself be swayed. Bubbe jumped up on the piano and lay down, looking over Rowan.

Rowan froze for a moment, just a moment, but it was long enough to feel the icy chill go down her spine like a corpse's finger; that was why she knew it wasn't Reid. Reid's touch did make her shiver but not in distaste or fear. Her boyfriend put his arm on her shoulder and the cold abated.

"Any requests?" she asked dryly, a lopsided smile on her face.

"'Bohemian Rhapsody'!" Wayne called out.

Which was what he had suggested once at a benefit they had all attended five years ago. Hearing a twelve year old belt out Queen, much to Society's astonishment.

Beatrice Parry slapped her husband on his arm.

----

The warlock watched the festivities with detachment. Mostly he focused on the Keeper, the whitelighter, who had yet to be killed after several attempts in the past few years. So fragile, so…_mortal_, the warlock thought. How could this little sprite be so hard to kill? Perhaps that is what his predecessors had figured – that she would be easy to do away with. They did not bother to observe her ways, her surroundings, including the individuals who encircled her.

Rowan Faith Danvers – what a name! – had a very strong family unit. A rare thing the warlock had experienced during his existence. She even had a Shepherd, one assigned to her by Nature, Fate, Destiny, which made the connection between Shepherd and the proverbial lamb all that much harder to sever. It made his job more challenging.

This girl was a special one. The ripples she created with one touch spread far and wide, her tracks through life left lasting footprints in her wake.

But it wasn't all roses for this girl. No. The warlock had been playing on her weaknesses for a few weeks now. He had watched as she balked at leaving her home to get into her vehicle and drive to school. He had felt her nightmares in the dark; felt the shortening of her breath at odd times of the day as unexpected panic hit her like a slap.

And all throughout her kin was amongst her as comfort. It tempered the effect of his cold touch. It was frustrating. But the warlock was patient.

Like just now, as Rowan went to sit at the piano. He saw her pause for ever so slight a second. But the blond put his hand on her…

He would be broken once Rowan was no more. They all would be. Imagine, this one little person having such a profound influence on the lives around her. The good she put out there in the world would cease, likely causing a disruption in the balance of their lives. Without her, they would be faithless.

As Rowan sang, her voice ringing like silver bells, he let the cadence of her voice engulf him. Let them enjoy their festivities, he thought. All in good time.

----

Rowan felt off-kilter when the night ended and they left. She got the shakes, made herself some tea, hoping it would help. Then she went into the great room where the Christmas tree was and sat on a cushy chair in front of the fire. The three animals, now out of their holiday garb, lay at her feet.

All night she had felt someone was watching her. Like the past few weeks. It had to be the warlock, biding his time, waiting to strike.

And she was holding her breath; waiting to exhale.

----

Reid knew Rowan had gotten out of bed. It was subtle, his subconscious stirred and he could feel an empty cold close by. That was how attuned he was to her. When Reid's eyes flicked open, he was proven correct. Rubbing his eyes, he propped himself up on his forearm, sight honing in on Rowan, standing by the window, arms wrapped around herself. She was wearing his discarded t-shirt; it looked better on her than it did on him.

They were alone in her house; Rowan's mom was at Tyler's place, helping set up for the New Year's Eve party; and Caleb was spending the day with Judy. So they had taken advantage of their solitude.

Reid got out of bed, padded over to her. Arms went around her, head settled on her shoulder.

"What're we looking at?" he asked, his voice husky from sleep.

"He was out there," she said quietly.

He instantly went on alert, his crisp blue eyes scanned the garden; at the same time turning Rowan away from the window, against his chest.

"He's gone."

His arms tightened around her, had to will himself to loosen his hold. A hand cupped the back of her head, stroking the silky strands of her hair.

_I'm scared, Reid. I'm scared. I shouldn't be, but I am. I want him to go away. He's in my head and my thoughts…_

_Shh, it's okay. I won't let him hurt you. None of us will._

Neither acknowledged the fact that they hadn't spoke aloud. Her shakes subsided, she was able to let go of her death grip on Reid. The red numbers on her clock said it was eight minutes past five-thirty. They didn't have to be at the Simms until between seven and eight.

So they gravitated back towards the bed.

----

"You want a drink?" Caleb asked Judy.

"Oh…sure, thank you." Her stomach did a flip flop when he smiled at her.

Beside her, Maria made a little squeal in the back of her throat, grinning at her playfully. "You guys are, like, _so_ cute together!" she exclaimed, and Judy blushed.

Rowan smiled into her cup. Her brother and Judy _were_ cute together.

"Yeah, like buttons," Reid quipped, receiving a nudge from Rowan.

Tyler weaved his way through the crowd. "Sorry. Kitchen mishap." He kissed Maria on the cheek.

Neither one of them had stopped gleaming since they'd returned from their one year anniversary. Tyler had whisked Maria away for two days to New York. Surprising her by taking her to the Metropolitan Museum of Art; and booking them a huge, swank, hotel room where they'd consummated their relationship. It was everything Maria could have imagined, she was on cloud nine.

And Reid hadn't stopped smirking at Tyler knowingly with that mischievous twinkle in his eye.

"And look who's finally getting back in the game," Reid observed.

They turned their heads to see Pogue chatting up a leggy brunette in a skin tight white dress.

"Maybe he'll get a kiss tonight after all," Hunter added. He knew he wouldn't be. Gabriel had been summoned on an emergency bounty hunt. His boyfriend's jobs were getting more and more dangerous, the sorcerer often having to cross dimensions to quarry his prey. At least Michael was there with him.

"He'll be okay," Rowan said, putting her hand on Hunter's arm.

He threw her a grateful smile. Hunter told himself that Gabriel was good at what he did; and right now he needed to focus on keeping Rowan safe. Reid had told them about her spotting the warlock out in the garden earlier today.

Caleb came back with two cups in hand, extended one to Judy who took it with a soft smile. The way the two looked at one another was classic romance.

The closer it got to midnight, age groups began to separate, adults from the younger crowd. Reid and Rowan went off by themselves, wanting their New Year's kiss to be uninterrupted. They were already getting a head start.

"Did I tell you how beautiful you look?" Reid asked, nuzzling her neck.

She was wearing a 50's style, dark blue satin cocktail dress and flats with her necklace. Nothing special. "Are you trying to get in my pants?"

Reid chuckled. "Is it working?"

"I'm not wearing pants."

"That much easier then."

Rowan playfully slapped his hand away that was marauding down her back and itching at the hem of her dress. Their jesting turned into a series of kisses that didn't stop when the clock struck twelve.

It was her nails digging painfully into his shoulders that brought him back.

Reid was about to make a naughty joke, only to see that her face was contorted in pain, her body rigid, eyes darting back and forth.

"He's here…"

He held on to her. Her hands dropped from him, clutched her stomach.

"What is it?"

But she couldn't answer. When he made a grab for her, his hands passed right through her like she was air.

"Rowan!"

_Reid…_

He didn't know what to do. He couldn't see his enemy and Rowan literally slipped through his fingers. Reid went down on his knees in front of her, hands hovering as if to hold her up.

_I won't let him take you! _

But there was no stopping it. With a blink and a sigh, Rowan disappeared. Reid stared at where she'd been just a second ago, stunned. Cheers from down the hall rushed his senses; getting his equilibrium back he raced towards where Hunter had last been. Reid scanned the room full of people.

"Where's Rowan?" Hunter's voice came from behind him.

"He took her. She just vanished," Reid said, eyes flashing dangerously.

Both could feel the danger; Shepherd and Bonded. Then Hunter felt the tug, that feeling that gnarred on his chest whenever he was being called to Rowan's side. And like Rowan, Hunter disappeared, too.

Reid got Tyler. Then it became a race to get Pogue and Caleb without alerting too much attention. Ten minutes later they were outside.

"Where is she?" Caleb asked.

Reid shook his head furtively. Unconsciously, he thumbed the scar on his right hand, smells of sea salt and ocean spray coming at him.

"The Dells."

----

Rowan landed hard on cold sand, it bounced off, grain getting in her eyes and mouth. She let the tears wash out the debris while spitting out the bitter taste of sand. Rowan stood up, trying to steady herself.

"We meet again."

Blinking furtively, her vision focused on the warlock. And up on the dunes, the cliffs, surrounding her, were more of them.

"My…friends," the warlock said wryly.

Rowan counted ten.

"Poor thing…" The warlock stepped, making his way around her. "You're cold, aren't you?"

Rowan shivered, trying to keep the warlock and all his…friends…in her sight. But she didn't have eyes in the back of her head.

"So very, very mortal." He grabbed a lock of her hair and ran between his fingers.

"Like you." Hunter flung the warlock fifty feet before getting assaulted by ten other lesser witches.

"Hunter!" Rowan yelled, her heart in her throat seeing her best friend surrounded. Where was the warlock?

"I can take care of this," he told her. Hunter slipped off his jacket. He could tell these guys weren't going to fight with magic first. So it was a showdown at the Dells. Before he could say 'go' they all launched at him.

Rowan needed to step in, but she felt herself, for the second time that night, pulled back – now facing the warlock who had a nasty gash on his head.

"You are mortal," she said, oddly surprised.

His eyes went devil red and he hurled a sheet of energy at her, knocking the wind out of her lungs. Rowan invoked her own powers to keep from landing awkwardly…like in a heap of broken bones.

Landing on her feet, her eyes white, she stood off against the warlock.

----

Hunter felt the witch's skull give between his large hands like an eggshell, just as another leapt for him. Hunter gave a back upper-kick, his heel smashing into his enemy's face with a loud crunch. Four bodies lay at his feet, and he wasn't even winded.

He tried to keep Rowan in his field of vision as he fought. She was holding her own against the warlock, but her powers always gave quicker the more she used.

Distracted, Hunter felt a sting against his abdomen, then hot liquid soak his shirt and skin.

"Hunter!" Rowan screamed, seeing the glint of the knife.

----

"Speed up!" Caleb ordered Reid.

They were getting closer, but not quick enough to suit any of them. Reid has his foot locked on the accelerator. He didn't need Caleb barking in his ear, but he didn't say anything because he was yelling _Go fucking faster!_ in his head, too.

When they got to the Dells they jumped out of the car. Four pairs of eyes inky black to match the sky.

They saw Hunter going at it with four witches, six sprinkled around the Shepherd's vicinity. But where was Rowan?

The Sons of Ipswich jumped off the cliff, landing without injury.

More witches came out of the proverbial woodwork, giving the Sons cause to forego the threat of Power addiction and aging to defend themselves. The heady flow of magic and power swept through their veins, to every nerve ending, spurred on by the electricity darting in their brains.

Amidst the melee Reid searched for Rowan through their bond. He found himself on the other side of a cliff, the waves crashing violently, wind whipping, cold stinging the skin.

"…end of this!" the warlock bellowed.

Reid heard those words just as he saw Rowan. She was on hands and knees, head hung tiredly. The warlock looked in pretty bad shape as well. It all went so fast. The warlock let out a cry, Rowan inhaled, summoning her powers from the dredges of her spirit. White light erupted from every pore, encapsulating her in an incandescent aura of pure white.

Dark and Light clashed with an audible boom.

The warlock fell, using the last of his magic to catapult Rowan far in the air, into the deep ocean.

----

They heard Reid yelling her name.

"Reid!"

Hunter, Caleb, Tyler and Pogue ran to him.

"Hunter, throw me out there!" Reid demanded. "Now!"

----

She hit the water; it felt more like a bed of needles. Dark water. She tried to stay awake. Her power had sapped her strength, mentally and physically. Hoping her brothers and Reid were okay, she kicked uselessly trying to break the surface. But swimming was never her forte. So Rowan sank.

Until…

A sure hand grabbed her wrist, pulled her up.

"Row, stay with me," Reid said. He held on to her as Hunter guided them back to shore. "Stay with me."

----

"She's not breathing." Caleb panicked.

Reid laid her on the sand, administering CPR.

Tyler had the mind to use his power to dry their clothes, but nothing could be done for the cold that had seeped into their bones. Reid would be okay, but Rowan…her lips were blue, face pale.

_Come on. Come on. Breathe, Row!_ Reid demanded.

Two minutes went by. Nothing.

Caleb was kneeling by his sister. "Breathe, Lil Bit," he whispered urgently. "Please. Please, breathe."

----

_Breathe…_

_Come back to me…_

_Breathe, Lil Bit…_

_Please, baby, don't leave me…_

_

* * *

_

**Thank you for the plentiful reviews on the previous chapter. I see a little incentive works to get the next chapter. Five or more this time? :D  
**

**The day after I posted Chapter 15 I experienced some hard drive issues for a few days which was why it's been over four days since my last update. **

**Apologies for that. Everything's fixed now though. :)  
**


	17. A Certain Slant of Light

**XVII. A Certain Slant of Light**

_Beautiful light is born of darkness,  
so the faith that springs from conflict  
is often the strongest and the best.  
-R. Turnbull_

"That bitch knew I worked there!" Reid exclaimed angrily.

"Sanctum, Reid," Rowan reminded him where they were.

His lips pinched, then he blew out an exasperated while dutifully holding the yarn around each of his hands. Rowan was sitting next to him, blanket over her lap, left foot elevated, knitting needles clicking away. The three animals were curled up in front of the fire.

It was Friday, five days after the Dells. Rowan came out of it the worst. She'd suffered a twisted left ankle, bruised three ribs and other parts of her body. Hunter sustained a five inch laceration on his side abdomen, not deep enough to require stitches. With no break in CPR, Rowan had finally coughed up the ocean water, giving her lungs passage to breathe. They didn't take her to the hospital, how would they explain? Tyler's dad was waiting for them at the Danvers' estate, medical equipment at the ready. Rowan suffered from mild hypothermia, was bandaged up, and put to sleep.

She called out for Hunter in the middle of the night. Her subconscious remembering seeing him wounded; she wouldn't go back to sleep until she was convinced he was all right. They all stayed nearby. Mr. Simms visited her at least twice a day. Reid refused to leave her room, sleeping right next to her bed every night since.

Rowan smarted at having to be pushed around in a wheel chair and carried around, but no one was giving her any leeway to renege on her convalescent state. And the jury – Mr. Simms, her mom – was still out on whether she could go back to school on Monday.

"Maybe she didn't, though," Rowan said.

"How could she not? This isn't the largest town in the world!" Reid was pissed because Sarah Wenham was the newest employee at Beans, the coffee shop Reid had been working at for a little over a year. "What the hell does she need a job for?"

"Didn't she work at a coffee place before she came here?" Rowan asked.

"How should I know?" he grumbled. "I'm quitting."

"You can't quit!"

"Why not? I'm not working there with her!" And his boss expected him to train her. Like hell. Sarah started today, but got the job two days ago. As his boss said when he'd called him a little over an hour ago. Reid had to leave for work at one.

She put her knitting aside. "You can't, Reid. You like your job. How many teenagers, or people in general, can say that?"

He crossed his arms over his chest. "There're other coffee joints."

"Like Beans?" she prodded. "Come on. How many of your original blends made it to the menu?"

Pause. Then, reluctantly, "Two."

"And they're _still_ there because the customers _like_ them," she reminded him. "And every Sunday before her weekly sewing circle Miss Trudy comes in to see the 'adorable young man' who reminds her of her son when he was younger."

Half a smirk twitched on Reid's face. "She takes forever to order. And she always ends up getting the same thing."

Rowan smiled, settled her chin on his arm, looking up at him. Reid knew his customers, their preferences. "See?"

He rolled his eyes, sighed like the world was on his shoulders. "I still say she knew I worked there. And if she didn't before, Boss told her I did after she got hired; she should have quit then."

"Maybe she needs a part time job."

"What for?"

She shrugged. "Christmas taps people out." Rowan could see that the idea was slow to assimilate in his mind. Never having to worry about money, being short on the green took a moment to process.

Reid scoffed. He didn't want to quit his job. Row was right, he liked working there. He remembered the proud and approving looks in his parents' eyes when he'd told them about it over a year ago. Plus, he still needed it to save up for something he was getting for Rowan. Reid wanted it bought with his own, legitimately earned money.

"You can work with her," Rowan assured him. "You don't have to be friends or even make small talk. And once her training period is over, I bet you could arrange your schedule so you don't work the same hours as her."

That didn't sound half bad. "Okay…I guess," he grumbled. Reid tipped his head down, gave her a smile. "How do you do that?" Putting an arm around her, he scooched closer to her smaller body.

"Work my powers of persuasion, you mean?"

He chuckled, kissed her forehead. "Yeah."

"Don't you know by now that you're incredible susceptible to it?"

"Ah…yeah, I should know better."

"Mm-hmm."

Their eyes were locked on the other, all sounds shut out around them. He stroked her cheek with the backs of his crooked fingers, smelling the light scent of her herbal shampoo.

"How're you feeling?" he asked.

Rowan was about to say her automatic 'fine,' but she remembered their talk from a couple of months ago and said, "Okay. Still a bit sore."

Reid wished like hell he could heal her. The closest he got was literally feeling her pain. He had to be touching her, concentrating, and where she felt pain would throb in him. The twisted ankle, one bruised right rib, two on the left; and she was weary, so weary. Reid wasn't sure if Rowan knew he was doing this, tapping into her pain through their bond; if she did, likely he'd be told to stop.

The tumult of feelings rushed through his body again – seeing her weak on the sand, facing off with the warlock; being catapulted into the cold, dark ocean; doing CPR, begging her in his mind to breathe…

"Reid," she said softly.

He swallowed a jagged lump in his throat. "I almost lost you." _Again._

"I'm right here." She caressed his opposite cheek. "You got to me in time. All of you." When her words didn't seem quite enough, she coaxed him down to meet her lips. She could feel him wanting to kiss her harder but not wanting to hurt her, so it was she who pressed more firmly against his mouth, ignoring the slight twinge in her ribs when she shifted to get a better lock on his lips.

"Ahh, I'm five seconds away from putting you on your back," he said with a sly, rueful grin.

"I don't mind."

He shook his head. "Don't tempt me."

She sighed with mock woe. "Fine. Only if you promise me something."

"What?"

"That once I'm all better you'll ravish me senseless."

Reid laughed. "Hell, you don't even have to say it."

Rowan beamed. "Good." She glanced at the clock. "You have to go to work."

"I'll call in sick."

"You're just trying to get out of training Sarah."

He pulled a face.

"Come on. If you help me to my room now we'll still have time together."

Reid didn't need prompting. Carefully he slipped his arms under in a cradle carry.

"I said help me, not carry me!" she exclaimed. "We're going up the stairs."

"You're light as a feather, Row." And she was, and felt damned good in his arms. The three animals followed them. "My own personal pixie."

Rowan snorted indelicately, ceased fussing, planning some payback. So as he carried her, she nuzzled his neck, kissed him just behind his ear, his weak spot.

"Hey, not fair!" he groused as she brushed her lips against his neck. "It's kind of hard to walk like this."

"I bet it is hard."

"You're damned naughty sometimes, you know that? I love it."

She pulled back. "Not in front of the kids." In her bedroom he set her down gently, fluffed the pillows, opened the curtains further to let in some light.

Reid lay down next to her, having to move a piece of paper first. It was old and crinkled. Her list of things she wanted to do before she turned eighteen.

Rock climbing (check)

Bungee jumping (check)

Go sky-diving

Visit the Great Wall of China

Visit the Sphinx and Pyramids of Giza

Have my first kiss (check)

Feed an orca (check)

Feed a dolphin (check)

See the sea lions in San Francisco

Go spelunking

Go on a safari

Attend Alaska's Iditarod sled dog race

Fly a plane

Climb Mt. Everest

Visit Delphi

"Wayne said he'd take me flying over spring break," she said with a wide grin. "I can't check it off until I do though." Rowan sighed a little. "Ten more things."

He nodded. "How come you never put anything like 'get married' or anything?" He was fishing. "That'd be the first thing most girls would put down." Even though she wasn't most girls. Never had been. Not to him.

She was quiet. "Reid…you know what I really meant when I wrote 'before I'm 18,' don't you?"

Pause. "Yeah." Another piece of quiet. "You still mean that?"

"I never put anything like 'get married' or 'have kids' because…I always just had a feeling that…I wouldn't make it to an age where I could do that."

Reid was glad she couldn't see the look on his face.

"But no, I don't think so anymore."

The vice around his heart loosened. Rowan knew death close up, more than was fair. Being able to talk to dead, being pulled in their world sometimes, it tested her own mortality, teased it with the Fates' scissors that could snip that line any time.

"I'm going to take you to all these places," he said definitively. "Before we start college."

Now she peeked up at him. "And when would we fit that in?"

"Over the summer. We'll be busy setting up house afterwards."

A smile twitched on her lips. "Still moving in together?"

"Hell, yeah. The kids, too. I figure the place will have to be pretty big, so they have room to roam. Then you need another sanctum so you won't have to go back and forth. And a place big enough for a garden. Not some small plot."

They settled. Reid turned the paper over, read some of the words, a toothy smile slowly spreading. "And what is this?"

She giggled. Her "other" list.

He recited, "In a car, under the stars… Oh! In public."

"Some of them are pretty generic." Her cheeks were a faint pink.

"My pixie _and_ my nymph."

"I can't help it. I think about it more than I should."

One brow arched. "How much more?"

"Hmm…" She pondered coyly. "Sometimes, when we're at school, I think about just pulling you into the janitor's closet…" Rowan let him extrapolate the rest.

Reid laughed. The image stirred him. Well, one of her favorite positions was against the wall. He liked lifting up her feather weight and…

Rowan caught _his_ image through their bond, laced her fingers through his. "I love you a lot, you know that, right?" _You literally breathed life back into me._

"Yeah." _And I'm damned lucky._ "I love you a lot, too."

----

Caleb and Judy were just arriving as Reid was leaving. The blond was buttoning up his coat, walking down the stairs at the same time.

He smiled at Judy. "Hey, Red."

"Hi, Reid," she replied, getting used to his moniker for her.

"Row asleep?" Caleb asked as he took Judy's coat off.

"Nah, she's reading. And your mom went out to run some errands 'bout an hour ago."

Caleb nodded. "I thought you had today off."

Reid pulled a face. "Boss called and asked me to come in and train somebody."

By the look on his friend's face, one would think he had to train Beavis and Butthead. "That bad?"

He snorted. "Pogue's slut of an ex-girlfriend's friend."

Caleb glanced at Judy. "Oh."

"That would be Sarah," Reid said to Judy.

Not that she was unaccustomed to hearing profanity, but there was obviously some bad blood between them all. Of course, the whole school knew that Kate cheated on Pogue, so she understood Reid's animosity.

"She knew I worked at Beans, didn't she?" Reid asked.

"I don't remember whether I said so or not."

"Hmm." Reid said bye and went off to work.

"Sorry about that," Caleb said.

She smiled. "It's all right."

They had gone out to breakfast this morning, then took a walk at the Dells, despite the cold, holding hands. It should have brought back dark memories of five days ago, but being with Judy drove them away.

"Is that Judy?" Rowan appeared at the top of the stairs.

"You're supposed to be resting," Caleb chastised.

"I was!"

"And where are your crutches?"

Rowan rolled her eyes. "You see what I have to put up with?" This to Judy. "The past five days…"

Judy followed Caleb upstairs, eyeing Ernie only furtively. The German shepherd assumed a submissive position at Judy's feet, stomach up.

"He wants you to like him," Rowan said. Without thinking, she tried to bend down to pet Ernie, but her body wasn't having it. She didn't object as her brother led her back to her room. "He's a therapy dog, so Ernie's used having a calming and peaceful affect on people." She went on, "He's sorry you were nipped at when you were a kid, but he'd never hurt you."

Back in her room now, she was put to bed like a rag doll. Bruce Lee dooked at Judy, Bubbe meowed. Ernie bumped himself against Judy's leg, gratified by the ecstatic wag of his tail when she pet him.

This was the first time being in Rowan's room. Judy thought it matched her personality with the royal blue walls, multi-colored bedding, a vortex patterned carpet; posters supporting animal rights adorned the walls, along with photographs, above the bed was a painting of Dogs Playing Poker. And books. Lots of books.

"Damn, my tea," Rowan said.

"I'll get it," Caleb interjected before she could move. "Do you want anything?" he asked Judy, couldn't help touching the back of her hand lightly.

"The tea is great," Rowan suggested.

Judy said she'd try the tea, and was left alone with Rowan. Caleb's sister smiled at her.

"How are you feeling?" Judy asked.

Rowan patted her bed, indicating that she should sit down. "Okay. Not as bad as they're making me out to be." But the twinkle in her eyes belied her agitation.

She chuckled.

"My brother really likes you," Rowan said. "This might be hard to believe, but he hasn't had the best of luck with girls."

Judy opened her mouth to speak, couldn't quite find the words.

"Cay always gets jilted for some reason," – she shook her head, almost sadly - "and he's just such a good person that…he deserves someone good, too." Her light brown eyes met Judy's. "I think you're good for him. I do. You brighten his aura."

Judy blushed. "I like him a lot, too."

Rowan beamed. "I'm glad. When we have more time I'll show you embarrassing photos."

She laughed.

"What's so funny?" Caleb asked, two mugs of tea in hand.

"We were discussing embarrassing childhood photographs," Judy said mischievously.

Caleb stopped in his tracks, eyes darting between the two of them.

"Don't worry, Cay, I haven't broken out the albums…yet." She thanked him for the tea. "I'll drink this, take a nap later." That her sisterly cue to say that it was perfectly fine for him to leave with Judy.

"I'll leave the door open, okay?"

Rowan nodded. "I'll take out the albums for next time, Judy!" she called.

Judy walked with Caleb to his bedroom. It fit him, like Rowan's fit her. For some reason her body became more alert in here, because his house was quiet, like no one was home, and it was just him and her, alone, in his bedroom. Alone.

Judy didn't know it, and probably wouldn't think it, but Caleb was nervous, too. Not that he had anything planned, he was just aware of the two of them together. Alone. Though partially the reason for coming in here instead of in the den or something was so he could be close by in case Rowan needed something.

"Why'd you have that look on your face?" she blurted, breaking the silence.

They were sitting on his bed.

"What look?"

She half-smiled. "You looked surprised that Rowan mentioned the pictures. Or were you just scared that she might have shown me already?"

Caleb chuckled lightly. "No, I…" How did he say this? "It's just…she's never mentioned breaking out the photo albums before."

She dipped her head pointedly. "You mean to girls you've brought over?"

His face lost some of its mirth. "I don't bring a lot of girls over." Caleb saw the short flicker of surprise on her face. "I've always been careful about who I date," he confided. _Except for Sarah. That was a serious lapse of judgment._ "It's not easy for me to open up to people."

"Really?"

He shook his head. "With my dad dying, and my mom an alcoholic, it was kind of just me and my sister here. And since we're close, who I date affects her life. It sounds stupid but…" He rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably.

"No." She took his hand. "It's not stupid."

His brown eyes searched hers, found nothing but sincerity. "The few girlfriends I've had…they've never liked Rowan. They were jealous of her, said I coddled her, or ignored them for her."

"Do you think that?" God, she hoped he didn't.

"No. And Row was always good to them even if they were standoffish towards her." Caleb squeezed her hand. "Except for you. You actually sit and listen and don't look at her like she's crazy when talks about animals and auras."

"I like Rowan," she told him. "And those other girls? It's just a shame that they twisted the love you have for your sister into something irrational. If anything, it should have told them what a large capacity you have for love and loyalty."

Caleb smiled at her with his heart in his eyes. Judy understood him. It was like someone letting the light in. She fit. She fit perfectly with him. Caleb kissed her, deeply, fully; he heard a little moan escape from her lips.

"I'm a v…virgin," she managed to get out.

He didn't say anything for a moment. "That's okay. I wasn't trying to…" _Damn, does she think I'm trying to sleep with her?_

Her face was beet red. "I just thought you should know, that's all. I mean I… I'm not…"

He nodded, stroked her cheek. "Don't think about it. I know that as a guy I should be trying to get you under the sheets right now," – Judy laughed, tension easing – "but the last thing I want is to rush you into anything." _Even though I think I'm in love with you. Would it be rushing it if I told you now?_

"Thank you." She took a little breath, and took her foot off the safety of the cliff this once. "But I still want to kiss you." _I can't believe I said that! But he's smiling. Yup, he's smiling._

"That makes two of us then."

* * *

** A bit of a fluffy chapter, but I wanted to lighten it up a tad after the drama of the previous chapter.**

**Thanks for continuing to read.**

**Feedback always welcome.**

**Five reviews again? :o)  
**


	18. The Scent of Shadows

**XVIII. The Scent of Shadows**

_In faith there is enough light  
for those who want to believe  
and enough shadows  
to blind those who don't.  
-Blaise Pascal_

"Ah, here she is." Provost Higgins smiled as Rowan walked into his office. "Rowan, this is Hope Lassiter, our newest student at Spensers."

She smiled at the new girl. Hope was about five-ten, with long, thick dark hair, oval brown eyes, and a peach complexion. She was obviously of Asian-American heritage and very beautiful.

"Nice to meet you," Rowan said.

"Nice to meet you, too," Hope replied amiably.

"Rowan, I was hoping you could take Hope around, show her Spensers," Provost Higgins announced.

"Okay."

The provost let them leave and as they walked Rowan asked Hope if she could see her class schedule.

"We have our next class together. A few after," Rowan muttered.

Hope gave a sidelong glance at Rowan Danvers. She was short compared to her, probably compared to most people. But she was very pretty with an ethereal quality about her. She seemed to walk gingerly though, with a slight limp. Hope had been expecting some snooty girl to be assigned to her; so far, most of the female population was just that.

"Where did you move here from?" Rowan asked.

"I'm from all over," Hope answered.

"Really? What places have you been to?"

"Germany, Hawaii, Japan, Alaska…"

_Alaska._ "My ex-boyfriend is from there."

"Alaska?" Hope saw something akin to wistfulness fill Rowan's eyes, but she shook it off quickly.

"Mm-hmm."

Rowan thought she was asking too many questions and decided to lay off. This girl was interesting, plenty of time to get to know her. Living in so many places, moving around a lot, it was probably safe to surmise that Hope didn't have a lot of friends. When they reached their first class, Rowan held the door open for her. They were a few minutes late, but she handed the pink slip to the teacher.

"Class, this is our new student, Hope Lassiter," the teacher announced.

All eyes were on Hope. Assessing, scrutinizing. The students who lived in the dorms likely already knew her, or about her anyway. Rowan guided Hope to a seat next to her, Maria, Pinkie and Hunter in the second row. There wasn't any time to introduce them because the teacher jumped right into their first lesson of the new semester.

As the teacher prattled on, Hope was left to her own thoughts. Only a week in Ipswich, she still hadn't found who she was looking for. She could feel Justice here, his shadow, like something dirty not entirely washed away. She had tracked Justice from place to place for the past three months, knowing they would end up here.

It was where The Light was, she needed it to save Justice. If he could be saved.

An image flickered in Rowan's mind. Two people…sparring, martial arts, pitted against one another…the girl getting one up on the boy she was facing… The girl was Hope. Rowan couldn't quite make out the boy's face though, and no names came to mind. The hazy vision disappeared.

Rowan peeked at the new girl out of the corner of her eye. Was that her boyfriend? Brother? Whoever it was, Hope knew him well, and he felt lost to her.

----

"You going to pay attention?" Caleb asked Pogue quietly with an amused smirk on his face.

Pogue's eyes turned away from Hope, to his friend. "I am," he fibbed. _Paying attention to the new girl, anyway. _When he saw her come into the classroom it was like a sucker punch to his stomach, his chest.

He waited impatiently for class to end so he could catch up to Rowan and her new friend.

Outside the room, Rowan introduced Hope, who was still getting stares from passing students.

"…Pogue Parry," Rowan was saying.

Hope's big brown eyes bored into Pogue's. "Nice to meet you." _Cute,_ she thought.

They had swimming next, so Pogue watched Hope walk away with his sister.

"Pogue's got a thing for the new girl," Reid teased in the locker room.

"Not a chance," Aaron interjected. "I got her." He and Brody snickered.

Pogue's face heated. "You got nothing, Abbot."

Aaron leered. "Want to bet?"

He rolled his eyes, turned away, not susceptible to Aaron's taunts as Reid was. All through swim practice, when he wasn't in the pool, his mind was on Hope. So, when lunch finally came around, he made a beeline – casually, of course – towards the inner Quad. Rowan and Hope weren't there yet.

"Easy, bro," Hunter said. "She'll be here."

"Where's Row?" Pogue asked Maria as he sat down.

"Pogue," Maria chastised. "She's moving slowly."

"Have patience," Pinkie added.

A twinge of guilt niggled at Pogue. He'd been so caught up in Hope that he hadn't asked Rowan how she was feeling. Hadn't even considered the fact that she was still recovering. God, he should know better. Putting a chick before his sister. What happened the last time he did that? Or, according to Kate, he never did any such thing. Whatever, it wasn't as if he was looking for a relationship with Hope; just a little…something. Although she was the first girl who had captured his entire consciousness since Kate.

"Hi, guys," Rowan greeted.

Reid kissed her on the cheek and helped her sit down in front of him. Rowan patted the empty space beside her and Hope sat. Judy was eating lunch with them today, so Rowan introduced her.

_Big group,_ Hope mused. _A tight one, too. _And there was an...air about them that was…different. That was the only word she could think of. Something deeper, almost unreal about the Sons of Ipswich she'd been informed about, and Hunter and Rowan.

"How're you feeling, Lil Bit?" Pogue asked.

"Okay. Ankle's holding up."

"So, Hope, where did you move here from?" Maria inquired, smiling.

"Salem," she replied.

The guys shared a furtive look. Very brief. Salem, to them, was second to supernatural activity to Ipswich. And with warlocks invading, and that thing with Chase, it was to be expected they'd be somewhat wary about new kids.

"My God, _what_ do you use in your hair?" Pinkie demanded.

"I know!" Maria said. "It's, like, so shiny."

Leave it to them to turn to beauty products.

Hope laughed. "Just regular shampoo."

_Smells nice_, Pogue thought.

"So, Pinks, when're we going to meet James?" Reid prodded.

"Yeah, it's been months," Hunter said, disapprovingly.

Pinkie was on the hot spot now. James had been badgering him about meeting his friends, too. He didn't think he could put it off anymore. "How about this weekend? We'll all go out."

"Great!" Maria exclaimed. "Dancing? We haven't been to True Circles in for_ever_!"

"That gay club?" Reid asked, face scrunched.

True Circles was like the gay version of Nicky's. But a 16-21 club, no alcohol served. None of the guys, except for Hunter, had gone before.

"Yes, sweetness," Pinkie answered with a roll of his eyes.

Rowan enthusiastically agreed, which meant that Reid was going. Tyler, too. Caleb asked Judy if she wanted to go, she said okay.

"Want to join us?" Pogue asked Hope.

"Sure, sounds fun." She bit her bottom lip. "Your last name sounds familiar," she said to Hunter. "Mercer." Then it dawned on her. "Wait, Mercer as in…you guys are major in the martial arts circuit. I saw you compete a couple of years ago."

Hunter kept a humble face. Hope had a wide-eyed expression pinned on him. Pogue was getting irritated and tense with all the attention and awe Hope was piling on his brother.

"You were amazing! Why did you pass up the chance to go to the Olympics?"

"What?" Rowan exclaimed. "You passed that up? When did you even get approached?" This was all news to her.

He half-shrugged. "I was here. It was way over there." Hunter hadn't wanted to leave Rowan. He hadn't told her about it, not wanting her to feel guilty about him staying behind; and he knew she would have. It was simply a case of not wanting to be away from his best friend for so long.

_Who else knew?_ she wondered, her face troubled.

Reid settled his chin on her shoulder. "I didn't know either." The two of them were getting used to hearing one another's random thoughts.

Suddenly, Gabriel appeared from around the corner. Hunter didn't see him, so he was momentarily jarred when hands went over his eyes.

"Gabe?" He turned, beamed. They kissed. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to surprise you."

"Yeah, he's gay." Pogue was answering the silent look of surprise on Hope's face. "A lot of history with us."

"I don't doubt that." She grinned.

Now Caleb was suspicious. Gabriel or his brother, Michael, often appeared out of nowhere like this when Roz, their mother and a seer, dispatched them to check up on something. What was new around here? Hope Lassiter.

"_Pichouette,_" Gabriel crooned. "_Ca va_?"

She replied that she was fine in French.

"Oh, Hope, sorry. This is my boyfriend, Gabriel Grayraven," Hunter said.

"Ah, _bonjour, __enchantée_," Gabriel said.

Pogue was glad that Michael wasn't here, otherwise the Cajun sorcerer would be putting the moves on Hope just to rile him.

The bell rang for next class. Rowan didn't have her next period with Hope, but she said she would walk her there.

"Nah, I'll go with her, Lil Bit," Pogue offered. "The library is in the opposite direction."

"That's all right," Rowan said.

"Come on, Row, I'll walk you to the library. Make sure Aaron doesn't follow you there," Reid said, putting his arm around her waist.

Rowan frowned at Reid. Opened her mouth to protest.

"If Hope doesn't mind," Pogue said.

"It's all right with me," Hope replied.

Reid squeezed Rowan to his side. "Let's go. Hope's in good hands with Pogue." He subtly stressed 'in good hands,' giving his brother a knowing look. So as they walked away, he said to Rowan, "Pogue wanted to be alone with her."

Pause. "Oh, hell. When did I become so dense?" Of course Pogue wanted to walk Hope to class. That was a serious brainfart on her end.

Reid laughed. "I think you have a good excuse."

----

"So, Hope. That's a pretty name."

Hope snorted indelicately with a twinge of cynicism. "Yeah, when it isn't yours."

He quirked an eyebrow, detecting scorn.

"What about you?" she rejoined. "Pogue?"

He half-smiled. "Family name."

"You must have an interesting family."

_You have no idea_, he thought.

They sat together in class, he could barely pay attention with her so close. Beautiful. Sexy. Long legs, thick hair he was dying to run his fingers through. Full lips that had a sheen of gloss on them. Eyes that met his head on, unwavering, soul piercing.

And this weekend they were going to a gay club.

----

It had been a long day. Hope lay in the darkness of her single dorm, one arm draped over her eyes. She was waiting for the inevitable phone call. Not a second after she thought it, her cell rang.

"Did you find it?" the voice inquired, hushed.

"I've been here less than a week," Hope answered dryly.

A heavy exhalation of breath. "Did you at least meet the Sons?"

"Yes."

"And?" the voice demanded edgily when Hope was not more forthcoming. "Can you tell which one of them it is?"

She rolled her eyes. "You're not even sure if they have these alleged powers."

"Of course I am! Stories that go back that far-"

"Key word being 'stories.'"

"Do not interrupt me!" Pause. "Stories that go back so far hold credence. Can you say that you felt nothing from them?"

Damn. "I don't know."

"Well, you better get to know. Justice's life depends on it. It's been almost a year."

_He's gone, _ she wanted to yell.

As if reading her mind from miles away, the voice said, "He is still in there somewhere. He _can_ be saved." When Hope did not agree, the voice continued, "You know, Belle said you would find your other half there."

_Oh, hell, not this again._ "I'm already complete."

"No, Hope, pieces of your soul are missing. He can fill those aching gaps. Just open your heart."

Clenching her jaw and eyelids equally tight, she reined in her desire to scream. "Was that all? It's late. I have homework."

A weary sigh blew in the phone. "Yes. I'll call you tomorrow."

Hope hung up. Oddly exhausted by the brief conversation. She noted with a familiar antipathy that Evangeline had not asked her how she was. Whatever. Same old, same old. Hope thought her mission here was pointless. She resented it. Since their parents had died, she had been taking care of Justice, cleaning up his messes; and he was the elder by five years.

He'd always been a troublemaker. But after Mom and Dad… Fifteen year old Justice went from troublemaker to delinquent. Sometimes Hope didn't blame him. Living with crazy Evangeline, who fancied herself a faith healer, was enough to lose the threads of one's sanity. Evangeline was their dad's aunt, his only remaining family. And their mom's family, who had disowned her after she married an American, likely did not even know of them.

Justice and she had been dragged from state to state by Evangeline to various faith healing seminars, watching as their great-aunt performed "miracles." People who hadn't walked in over a decade suddenly did the Irish jig after a prayer and a touch. People who were diagnosed with terminal cancer came back the next day saying that their cancer was gone.

Hope scoffed derisively. No faith was that strong. Faith was the blind leading the blind. A crutch for people to hold on to when they didn't want to face reality.

So why did she have to create lies and half-truths to these strangers? These Sons of Ipswich with magical powers. One of them was a whitelighter, or at the very least, knew who was. All according to Evangeline's psychic friend. Hope thought she was as full of shit as her great-aunt.

_He can fill those aching gaps._

Evangeline's words echoed in her mind. She didn't have any gaps to fill; didn't need anyone or anything to "complete" her. There wasn't a damned thing wrong with her either. Just because she didn't see the world through rose-colored glasses…

_Forget it, Hope. Don't let her words get to you._

Her eyes landed on the stack of books on her desk. Better get started.

* * *

**Hey, thanks for the reviews. :D I've gotten more on this story than all of my other ones. I should have given ultimatums for the first three. :o)**

**Just kidding.**

**Anywho, I have a picture of Hope on my profile. **


	19. Bound to Shadows

**XIX. Bound to Shadows****  
**

_The silence deafens  
all the unheard screams__  
The darkness rips away  
all the unseen dreams  
-Dark Angel_

The nightwalker observed the group from the shadows. Across the street, hidden, from the patrons of the gay club. Most importantly from Hope and her new found friends. Did his dear sister sense the supernatural dregs around six of those individuals she was among? It could not be a coincidence that out of all the inhabitants of Ipswich, she found a niche with the Sons of Ipswich. He wondered what Aunt Evangeline had told Hope. His sister had been following him for some months now. Poor thing. Even in his blackened heart he felt some sympathy for his younger sibling.

That did not mean he would allow her to change his being back to Human. He couldn't allow that to happen. Few options were presented to him; continue to evade his sister; kill his sister, which was a last-last resort, unsure whether he could do that to his own flesh and blood. But there was another option, destroy The Light Hope sought to eradicate the shadow within him.

For unlike his sister, Justice knew where and who The Light was.

_I wonder what her blood tastes like._

----

"What are you going to study in college?" Maria asked James.

"Uh, I'm leaning towards architecture," Pinkie's boyfriend answered. He'd been answering a lot tonight.

James Massey was a freshman at UMass Boston. He was olive-skinned with dark hair and eyes, about five-ten with a narrow but lean build. He wore a blue button down shirt and jeans. So far he'd gotten a nice reception from Pinkie's friends, although, one in particular, Hunter, was staring at him the hardest with his jade eyes. A little disconcerting, that one.

A song came on and Pinkie brightened, dragged James out on the floor. Hunter had two dance partners in Rowan and Maria. True Colors was bright with a smooth tiled floor, part of which was for dancing. On the other side of the room were three pool tables and two foosball games. Which was where Tyler, Pogue, Reid, and Hope were at the moment. Caleb was teaching Judy how to play foosball.

Pogue was slightly distracted by Hope's outfit. She wore tight jeans, black boots, and a black crochet halter with an embroidered hem that showed off her sleek back and toned abdomen. Lots of silky skin that he imagined skimming his fingers over. Pogue wanted close. He saw her everyday at school, finding himself looking forward to seeing her the next day more and more. Thinking about her before he went to sleep at night. Then he would get disgusted with himself, remembering what happened the last time he had been this enraptured by the opposite sex.

_Learn your lesson, Pogue_, he chided himself as he watched Hope take her shot.

Reid grimaced. Hope was good. Damn it.

Pogue chuckled. "She's got you, Reid."

The blond sneered at his friend. Tyler was smirking, too. Hope shrugged as if to say she was sorry.

"What do you practice everyday or something?" Reid said, still staring at the pool table as if he could change the outcome.

She grinned. "I used to play against my brother all the time." _Shit._ Hope couldn't believe she'd just mentioned Justice out of nowhere. She'd been trying to keep as much information about her family close to her chest as she could. More facts bred more questions. And she didn't want to lie. Hope liked these people. She liked Pogue.

"Yeah?" Tyler spoke. "His ego must be hurting."

Hope half-shrugged, didn't say anything more. "Well, I don't want to crush _your_ egos anymore, so I think I'll get myself a drink."

"Nah, let me," Pogue interjected, a heart-stopping grin on his face. "I was just going up there. Diet Coke?"

Hope pulled a face. "Coke."

"Hey, a woman not afraid of some calories," Pogue approved, smiling.

"What? Nothing for me?" Reid called after him.

"You can't get your own drink?" Maria chastised him. She flounced up to Tyler and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Having fun? Any hot guys hit on you yet?"

Tyler laughed. "Uh…"

"I don't know about you guys but…" Rowan waved a stack of napkins in front of her, smiling wryly.

Reid's dander instantly went up. "This is a gay club who the hell is…" He flipped through the napkins. All the names with these numbers were female. Kelly, Leticia, Vicki… The blond looked up at his friend with a bewildered expression. "I don't know how to respond to this."

The group erupted in laughter. If it were a bunch of guys hitting on Rowan, that he could deal with, but what did a boyfriend do when a bunch of chicks were vying for your girlfriend's attention?

Rowan touched his forehead gently. "Iron out those wrinkles. I know _you're_ the one accustomed to getting all the girls' numbers but… Let me have my fifteen minutes, okay?" She took the napkins back from him. "I think I'll keep these just for sentimental value."

"I need a drink," Reid deadpanned.

Rowan and Maria went to sit at their table with Caleb, Judy, Pogue and Hope while Tyler and Reid got drinks.

"Where's Hunter?" Rowan asked.

"Went outside to talk to Gabriel," Caleb said. He had his arm around Judy.

"Having fun?" his sister asked him.

He half-grinned, dark eyes roaming the eclectic club-goers.

"This place is great," Judy said. "We should come here more often." She playfully nudged Caleb in his ribs.

"Yeah, so Rowan can get more phone numbers," Maria joked.

Rowan was quite proud of her bounty. "I knew I should have become a lesbian."

Caleb choked on his drink. "Jesus…"

"He reacted the same way when I said I was going to become a Naturalist," she informed Judy and Hope. Her brother mumbled something Rowan couldn't make out. "There's nothing wrong with it, Cay."

The big brother sighed. "You're not going to live in a community with a bunch of strangers, nude," he said, speaking as if his sister was completely serious about the idea. Truth, he wasn't sure that she wasn't sometimes.

"With guys," Pogue added, disapproving.

Rowan rolled her eyes. "Fine. Don't think of it as nude. Think of it as…skyclad."

"What?" Hope asked.

"Skyclad."

"Hell," Pogue muttered. "Don't get her started."

"Think of it," Rowan mused. "A community of people divesting ourselves of these earthly vestments that impede our natural vibrations."

Caleb pinched the area of his nose between his eyes, frowning.

"So this would be a group of women?" Hope clarified.

Rowan nodded. "Every morning, greeting the Goddess in our skins as she intended. Merry meet sister, and then a kiss on another's breast."

The girls were stifling their laughter at the guys' aghast expressions.

"What's the deal?" Reid asked seeing a mixture of discomfort and amusement at the table.

"Oh, Rowan was just talking about being skyclad." Maria took the proffered cup from Tyler that had stilled in the air at the mention of 'skyclad.' "Thank you, sweetie."

Reid eyed his girlfriend. "Did she tell you the part about kissing some girl's tits?" he inquired.

"Reid!" Rowan censured. He shot her a grin. "Anyway."

"Doesn't sound so bad," Reid continued. "Don't like the part about you being naked," – nudge in the ribs – "I mean, _skyclad_, out in the open."

"What about you, Ty?" Maria asked her boyfriend.

"About me what?" He was trying to avoid answering.

"Do you not approve of being skyclad?"

Pause. "Sure…to each his own."

"What Baby Boy is trying to say," Reid interrupted, "is that he wouldn't want you going around naked either."

Maria hmmphed. "It sounds perfectly natural to me."

"Sounds interesting," Hope said. Her eyes met Pogue's fleetingly. "What about you Judy?"

"Um…completely support you being skyclad, Rowan. Maybe not for me, though."

"Thank you," Caleb said lightly, kissing her on the cheek.

Hope excused herself to use the restroom. Pogue watched her go.

"Stare any harder, you'll burn a hole in her ass," Reid quipped.

Pogue glared at him but didn't say anything. It wasn't as if he could deny checking her out, he'd only been doing it all night. Still, he didn't like being called on it. Was it that obvious he was into Hope?

"You are _so_ in like with her," Maria teased. "And she is _so_ in like with you."

"She say that?" Pogue questioned before he could stop himself.

"No, silly. It's just obvious. Ask Pinkie. He agrees."

Rowan had gotten some pretty strong images of Pogue in Hope's mind the past week, just idle thoughts, but she kept it to herself. She tried to be ethical about saying what went on in peoples' minds. Like the arguments Hope had with the strange guy; or some old lady in her thoughts. Arguments so clear and heated Rowan had to concentrate _not_ to see them.

Maria insisted that Tyler dance with her when a slow song came on. Caleb pulled Judy on the floor, too. Reid and Rowan did the same. Pogue went to use the men's room, eyes scanning the place to see if Hope was around. She hadn't come out of the bathroom yet.

----

Hope was having a good time, but she couldn't shake the feeling that someone was watching her. She had felt it the moment her foot hit the parking lot's pavement. It was Justice. It had to be. And although her eyes had periodically checked her surroundings, she never caught a glimpse of him. It would be easy for him to do, wouldn't it? Mask his presence with his vampiric abilities. One of the things he had told her he loved about being a vampire. All the heightened senses, the speed, the power; the piercing of his fangs through luscious flesh…

She shook the image out of her mind. Her brother's warped words. Turning on the tap, she washed her hands with hot water, dried them. The music drifted, muffled, to her ears.

When was the last time she had such a care free night like this? Hung out with friends and chilled out? When was the last time she had not a care or worry in the world? Eight years ago, before her parents died. Aunt Evangeline took them in. Justice, fifteen, already a rebel, began hanging out with an even rougher crowd. Smoking, drinking, drugs, skipping school.

She cleaned up after him. Made excuses for him. Lied for him. Only once had she ever asked him for anything.

"_Please, don't do this, Justice!" Hope pleaded. "If you go, you know what they'll do to you."_

"_I want it, Hope," he insisted._

"_What about me?"_

"_You're better off without me, sis."_

Hope hadn't cried then. She wouldn't cry now. Tears didn't help anything. Little by little Justice had gotten sucked in by that…woman. She gave him drops of her blood to tie him to her. It changed him. Mentally, emotionally. Vampire's blood could do that. A few drops in your system spread like a cancer. Preying on your weaknesses. Justice had a lot of them. He'd already had a lot of darkness in him; it hadn't been so hard for that woman to bring him over.

Now, here she was, out to save him, who didn't want to be saved.

Aunt Evangeline called her every night. Hope still had not found The Light. She wasn't entirely sure what the Sons' deal was. Never caught them doing anything out of the ordinary. And when she was done informing her aunt about that, Evangeline would once again mention Hope's "other half." The conversation would always end shortly after. What did Hope want with a love like that? A be all-end all love.

There wasn't anyone in the world she could count on but herself.

"Catch me!"

Hope gasped; saw the fleeting form of her brother's face before it disappeared as quickly as it had come. Only the slight movement of the door told her that he had really been there. Quickly, she rushed out of the bathroom, easily pulled into this game of hide-and-seek that Justice always taunted her with. Cat and mouse. She was always playing the part of the mouse.

She saw him near the back door. Hope weaved her way seamlessly through the crowd, focused only on one thing.

The cold hit her like a thousand needles. That's what you got for going outside without a jacket in weather like this. Her boots crunched against the frosted snow beneath her feet. It was dim here, at the back of the club. Two Dumpsters resided against the wall, some garbage spilled out.

"Justice?" she called. Further out was pure darkness among the trees. "Damn it, J, come out!"

A harsh chuckle sounded behind her. She whirled, slipped, but her brother was there in a literal flash to catch her. His hands were chilled. For moments, Hope could only gaze at him. He still looked the same in a lot of ways. Dark long hair that fell partially in his equally dark eyes, broad shouldered, tall, lean.

"Hey, sis," he said, the tips of fangs showing through his smirk.

Hope swallowed a lump in her throat.

"How've you been?" he asked.

His jocular tone snapped her out of whatever stupor she'd been in. She steeled her spine, took a step back.

"How've I been?" she repeated. She scoffed. "I'd tell you, but I really don't think you give a shit."

He put his hand over his heart. "That hurts, Hope. Of course I care."

"Yeah, I believe you," she shot back sarcastically, her retort fading into silence.

"So…nice set of friends you got," he said after a moment. "Convenient…the ones you chose."

Her eyes narrowed, mouth slit into a straight line.

"Ah, come on. You don't think I know what you're looking for? The Light. A whitelighter." He grinned, but there was no mirth behind it. "Someone to save me," he said softly, mocking. _Well, being saved by that girl might not be so bad._

"Evangeline said it'd be here," Hope replied.

"Uh-huh. But she didn't say which one of them it was." Justice tapped his index finger on his chin. "In fact…she's not even sure if a vampire can be turned back into a human. It's just a tall tale, Hope. A myth. Hearsay."

"You're still a fledgling," she reminded him. "I bet there's something that could be done." _I would never make that bet, though. _Her words were pure hot air.

Justice snarled, a ring of red gathered around his irises. He was strong, but he hated being reminded that for a vampire, he was just a baby. Weak compared to the older ones. Justice hadn't yet even begun to tap the power he was capable of.

"Uh oh," he said, eyes going up, searching.

Hope went on alert.

Justice beamed at her. "Your boyfriend's coming."

"Hope?" Pogue called. He didn't see Justice disappear.

"Hey," she said.

"God, what are you doing out here?" Pogue asked.

"Getting some air."

He peered at her quizzically, then smiled. "Okay." He saw her leave the club, but didn't want to seem overeager, so he gave her a few minutes before coming out here. "You all right?"

"Oh, yeah. Yeah. Fine."

"Well, here." Pogue took off his biker jacket, handed it to her. He was wearing a black, sleeveless T-shirt. "I think you need this more than me."

Hope hesitated. His muscles rippled, distracting her. Good thing her cheeks were already pink from the cold. She slipped his jacket on, feeling the heat in the fibers, closed it tighter around her.

"Thanks."

He nodded.

"So…where's your bike, anyhow?"

"Like it, huh?"

"A nice piece of equipment," she conceded coyly.

Pogue ran his hand through his hair, grinning. "Yeah, well…Row worries when I go around on my bike in this weather. Same with Hunter. We try to appease her if we can."

Hope stared at him silently with the wispiest of smiles on her lips. _That's how a brother should be,_ she thought.

"What?" He chuckled breathily. "Lame?"

"No," she said softly. "Sweet."

They were standing almost chest to chest, how they had gotten there was a mystery. In her boots, Pogue was only a few inches taller than her. But he was masculine, all man, making her body tingle with electric warmth. Hope wanted close. And the heat of his face washed over hers, his lips came closer.

The first kiss.

Pogue's tongue broke through her velvet lips and danced with hers. His strong hands cupped her face; her palms pressed flat against his hard chest, over his beating heart, his loving, beating heart.

No kiss had ever seared Hope this way. She had all but given up on ever feeling like this.

When she was younger, she imagined having a marriage like her parents. She used to do pretend weddings with her stuffed animals as the witnesses. And she would imagine that the boy she was marrying loved her like a prince loved the princess in a fairy tale.

Then her parents died. Hope gave that up.

And with that reality breaking through, she broke away from Pogue. Breathless. Eyes averted. She could swear then a serrated chuckle echoed deep in the shadows; reminding her that whatever she felt for Pogue was a dead end. No relationship should start with deception, Hope knew that much.

The longer this went on, the further away any chance of something good between her and Pogue became. Hope could come clean. Just outright ask about what she needed to know.

But Hope really wanted…

_What do you want, Hope? Love? Stability? _

Things she never said aloud. Pushed deep so they couldn't surface, things that wouldn't see the light of day and be given the chance to grow.

When she finally dared to meet Pogue's eyes, his were on her, intently. Unwaveringly.

"How about I show you around Ipswich tomorrow?" he offered.

Hope nodded. "Sounds good."

* * *

**I must say that I've been generous because I give a limit of five reviews before I post again, but I got three.**

***sigh* I guess I can't do that. I'm an old softy. Not really fair to the regular readers is it? :D **

**And thanks to those who do and the reviews. **

**I have a picture of Justice up on my profile. I hope the plot isn't lagging too much.  
**


	20. Path of Thorns

**XX. Path of Thorns**

_The future lies before you,  
like paths of pure white snow.  
Be careful how you tread it,  
for every step will show.  
-Unknown_

Despite her internal warnings, Hope couldn't stay away from Pogue. She got closer to him day by day; and the more time she spent with him, the more she also got to know his family. Hope envied him this; a vast group of people he could always depend on, and they were not even bound by blood as she was to Justice. She still shared little about herself with Pogue and the others; and they held back, too; only Hope knew what they were hiding. Her entire presence here was a lie; it grew like a tumor within her, malignant and spreading.

She hadn't heard a peep from Justice since that night at True Colors. Sometimes he watched her though. Sometimes.

For the first time in a long while, Hope began to think that maybe, just maybe, she could have a life here. She only had to tell Evangeline that the Sons were not whitelighters, had shown no magical powers. Perhaps this could be forgotten the sooner her aunt got it through her head that there was no going back for Justice.

Hope had to come clean to Pogue. Because if her feet went any further on the current path she tread; there would be no going back for her either.

----

Rowan could just smack herself. She could not believe she got stopped by that anal cop on the highway and given a ticket. It was snowing like crazy, and all right, technically she broke the law. Rowan sighed. No point in making excuses. She deserved the ticket, hadn't tried to talk her way out of it. Ernie was in the car with her. She'd been coming back from their visit to the hospital. Ernie Danvers was a certified therapy dog, very popular at the hospital with the patients and staff.

"I'll never live this down, Ernie," she said and Ernie snuffled in the back seat. "Not a peep, okay? I mean, you can tell Bruce Lee and Bubbe, but swear 'em to secrecy first."

Even with her high beams on the road was still dark. You get to the edge of Ipswich where her house was it was always like this, mostly surrounded by forest. Despite there being no impediments on the road, she still drove slowly. There might be black ice, had to be careful for that stuff. Never knew when an animal might dart out from one side of the forest across the gravel onto the other.

Rowan thought of Tyler's birthday, coming up in twelve days. She needed to get things prepared-

Suddenly, in the quiet car, Ernie growled very low in his throat. Rowan peeked quickly in her rearview mirror. Nothing. There was nothing in the backseat either. She'd checked before getting into the car. The German shepherd growled again. A blur rushed by her window; she swerved slightly, but the icy roads spurred it on. Heart in her throat, stomach clenching, Rowan managed to take control of the vehicle again. Ernie had stopped fussing. Now it was her own serrated breaths that broke through the quiet.

Her hands were always at ten and two, so squeezing her stress ball in times like these was out of the question.

_No panic attack at the wheel, Rowan,_ she said to herself. But if she felt one coming on she would pull over. Always safe than sorry.

Rowan heard the loud pop first. The left rear tire burst, unbalancing the vehicle; the Jeep skid violently. She tried to straighten the car before hitting the brake. Finally, she got it in regulated; managing to stop at the side of the road with the right side of the car on the grass.

She put the car in Park; willed her breathing to slow. Ernie was burring deeply again, his truncated barks like loud shots in her ears. Inhaling raggedly she turned to see if Ernie was all right. Hurrah for dog seatbelts. His big brown eyes peered out the foggy windows. She couldn't see out either.

Rowan depressed the switch, lowering the windows about a couple of inches. Checked her side mirror, saw the tire askew. That had been a pretty loud noise that punctured her tire. What the hell was in the road? There'd been nothing wrong with it, the warning light was off on her Jeep, which had a tire pressure monitoring system. Couldn't be too careful in this sort of weather. Or in any weather, for that matter.

She got out, leaving the heater and dome light on for Ernie. He barked, so she unbuckled him before shutting the door. Looking at her desecrated tire, she frowned.

Tire change. Rowan opened the trunk, got out her heavy duty flashlight that doubled as a lantern. Other emergency materials included batteries; flare gun (one never knew when one'd be stranded somewhere with a bum car, or inoperative cell phone); three smaller flashlights; a pack of MREs; thermal blanket; first aid kit; water; dog, cat, ferret food; and some matches.

Rowan grunted as she took the spare tire off. Heavy. Sometimes she imagined trading in some of her brains for brawn. Her upper body strength sucked. Even Ernie could take her down. Rowan fleetingly thought of calling Caleb or Hunter but she was capable of changing a tire herself.

"Need help?"

Rowan spun around, the weighty object she'd been trying to maneuver a complete loss. A man stood in the shadows.

"Don't be scared," he said, slowly walking into the path of the lights.

"Yeah…" she drawled uncertainly. "Not scared of some stranger out in the middle of nowhere."

He chuckled.

Ernie began to bark. The stranger sneered at the canine. Rowan became even more uncomfortable. _Don't hurt Ernie. Don't hurt Ernie._

"Shh," she hushed the dog. Ernie quieted, his barks receding into rumbled growls. His nose sniffed the air through the inch of space of the window.

When the stranger stepped closer, Rowan felt his…difference. Not. Human. That summed it up. His aura shone, but it didn't pulse. Vampire. A vampire's aura did not pulse. Like their hearts.

The man smiled, fangs sparkled in the night. "You know what I am. Don't you?"

Rowan nodded. "What's a vampire doing in Ipswich?" A young one. Not even a decade.

He shrugged. "Seeing the sites. It's a popular place."

"Not really," she replied. There was something familiar about this person, but she couldn't grasp what it was. "And what does a vampire want with me?"

"Yeah…it's usually demonic warlocks who gun for you." He nodded. "I saw you at the Dells that night. New Years."

She took an unconscious step back. Damn near tripped over the forgotten tire.

"You're frightened. Don't be. I told you not to be." He could smell her fear; hear her blood flow rapidly through her veins. His fangs throbbed with need.

"Right. Give me a reason not to be." _Damn it, I know you! Who are you?_ Ernie growled, whined, pawed at the window. "What do you want?"

Justice stared at her. Sometimes he couldn't believe this was the whitelighter who had the power to reverse the vampiric process. Christ. But he wasn't kidding about seeing her at the Dells. She'd defeated that warlock. And Hope was getting closer to this group, the Sons, she'd figure out who The Light was sooner or later, and ask this girl here for help. He decided not to dally and take out the threat. No Light, no Hope. His sister could go back home and resume her life. There was obviously no talking Hope out of abandoning this charade.

"If vampires knew what you could do they would all be out for you."

Silence. "What can I do?"

He scoffed. "Reverse what we are. You're a danger to us all."

"That's a bit…off," Rowan managed to say. "It's a difficult thing to do, and pretty much impossible on a vampire who is unwilling. Like you, I guess."

"Can't take that chance. I'll make it quick."

He flew at her. It was instinct to invoke her Power and he collided with her light, howling louder than Ernie as he was catapulted back.

Justice landed in the snow, feeling like his skin was on fire.

Rowan leaned against her car; let the magic peter out. She saw double for a minute before things became singular. The vampire was convulsing in the snow, but quickly coming to. Her cell phone was in the car. Who the hell could get here that quick though?

Home was about a ten minute drive away, well, with her behind the wheel, anyway. She did the first thing that came to her mind.

She opened the car door to let Ernie out and told him to run home. "Go!"

The German shepherd didn't want to leave her, but he heeded her command and took off. Out of sight, out of mind. She'd never forgive herself if something happened to Ernie.

The vampire cursed, struggled to get up. His eyes flashed at her. Angry.

"I said I'd make it quick," he spat.

Then he had her by the upper arms. So strong she thought her bones would break if he squeezed any tighter. Rowan looked deep in his eyes this time; it stilled him. She searched deep. This vampire wasn't inherently evil. Just a person drunk off power and immortality; and saw her as a threat to all of that.

"Get out of my head," he hissed.

For the second time that night, Justice flew back. Rowan fell to her knees from the sudden release of his hold. Hunter was there, picking up the vampire by the collar of his shirt. Without fanfare, he snapped his neck and let the body fall to the ground.

"Row! You okay?" He ran back over to her.

She nodded. "Hunter-"

"What the hell… Come on, let's change your tire and…" But she wasn't paying attention. He followed her eyes. The guy he'd just killed was getting up, his neck cracking and popping back into place. "What the fuck…?"

"He's a vampire," Rowan told him.

"Shit," Hunter muttered, putting himself in front of Rowan.

Justice stared at them, orbs blazing. Why did he think it'd be easy? He figured since he was faster than light he could easily take her down, but she sure lit up quick. And now here's this supernatural Bruce Lee modern-day counterpart all ready to protect her with his life. Just great. Justice knew when to cut his losses though. Needed to go back and regroup.

"Later," Justice said, and he was gone.

----

Hope didn't know how she got here. Pogue and she had gone out, come back to his apartment; now she was laying naked under his sheets with him skyclad beside her. She wouldn't make a big deal of this; sure, Pogue wasn't the first guy she'd been with (the second), but that was no reason to put the moment on a pedestal. Although…it had been more than she could have ever imagined. It felt so good. Being in his strong arms, his hard body pressed against hers, hot lips trailing over her skin. Pogue filled every inch of her. The initial discomfort was nothing and Hope quickly gave up her body to the possibilities.

This was not what she had planned. Everyday she told herself she would tell Pogue about why she was here. It wasn't as if she had come to hurt them; it was their help she needed. The longer she went without fessing up though, the less likely it was Pogue would accept and forgive her. She'd dug herself into a fine hole, that was for damned sure.

Hope peeked at him out of the corner of her eye. He was laying with one arm behind his head in a perfectly peaceful repose of a man satisfied. Or what she figured was the repose of a satisfied man. She didn't know.

Pogue breathed evenly. He could feel Hope's eyes on him. This wasn't how he had expected the night to go. He swore he had not planned it. The moment just got away from him. Sure, he could have avoided it by not bringing her back here to an empty apartment; but Pogue had wanted her, so he took it.

_You're a Neanderthal_, he cursed himself.

He wanted to hold her. But after they were finished he just lay on top of her for a minute before rolling over to his side of the bed. It was almost painful to tear himself away like that. Wanting nothing more than to keep on touching her, kissing her; he wanted to feel her strong thighs around his waist again and her nails digging into his back and clutching his ass. He wanted to hear her sweet moans fill the room.

He should say something. Words were garbled in his mind. He supposed pillow talk was never his forte. Kate had been all about cuddling and post-sex chatter. Not that he minded.

"You okay?" he asked.

Silence. Pogue's eyes cracked open, slid over to her.

"Yeah. Why?"

"It…wasn't your first time, was it?"

Hope had a self-deprecating smirk on her face. "No…was it that bad?"

"I definitely didn't say that." _You were great_. _I've never felt this before. I think I love you, but my heart isn't wanting to take another chance._

She flashed an uncertain smile at him. Her fingers worried the sheets which she had up higher. It was beginning to snow harder. Hope felt the backs of his fingers caress her cheek; tuck a lock of hair behind her ear. Closing her eyes, she concentrated on the feel of those fingers trailing down her nape.

Ah, damn, he was jealous of whoever the other guy was who'd slept with her. He sighed in his heart. Would his jealousy here turn her off, too? Probably. _Tamp it down, Pogue._ Besides, it wasn't like they were in a relationship or anything. This was just…sex. That's it.

"I guess that's good to know. You're not so bad yourself."

Pogue laughed. "A jokester, all right. Your first time wasn't that great?" The thought bothered him. She should be satisfied every time. The idea of a guy, or anyone, not treating her right, was just wrong to him.

Hope shrugged ambiguously. "I didn't have any expectations. I knew the first time I had sex would be shitty. So, I just got it over with."

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"That you didn't like it."

Her heart thudded with…what? Love? Want? Hope? There was tenderness in his eyes right now, gentleness in his touch.

_Tell him now._ But that would spoil the moment. It would put everything she'd come to look forward to these past few weeks in jeopardy. Hope felt accepted among his friends, or, rather, his family. She loved the way he interacted with Rowan, all of them, really; the way brothers should be towards their sisters. She even began feeling sisterly and protective towards Rowan herself.

"Pogue?"

"Yeah?"

"I…I need to-"

His cell phone rang. Eleven o'clock on a Tuesday night. Who the hell was it? The caller ID read Caleb.

"Go ahead," Hope said, seeing him hesitate.

"Thanks." _Kate had never said that to him, ever._ "Hey," he answered.

----

Caleb began to think that Pogue wasn't going to answer.

"Hey."

_Finally,_ he thought. "Are you busy?"

Pause. "No."

Rowan glared at him, chastising, from her big chair, resting against Reid. Hunter was sitting on the couch, feet propped up on the table; Ernie curled up next to him under a cushy blanket. Bubbe was engaged in a staring contest with Mo and Bo.

It was three hours ago the German shepherd had ran in through the dog-door barking his head off, completely unhinged. Caleb had been in the kitchen; Evelyn out catering a party. Since Ernie was on his own, he knew something was wrong with Rowan.

Caleb called her cell twice before getting an answer. Rowan said Hunter was with her, changing her tire, and they'd be home soon. He couldn't get another word in because she was grilling him about Ernie, wanting to know if he was okay. Telling him to get him warm, check his paws for injury and a gamut of other things. Ten minutes later they were there, Rowan recounting what had happened. Then twenty minutes later Reid was there, listening to the same thing. Reid had called and informed Tyler, just to give him the heads up. Which was what Caleb was doing for Pogue right now.

"A what?" Pogue repeated incredulously.

"Vampire, yeah," Caleb said dryly.

"I told you not to bother him," Rowan said. "Hope's there."

Caleb just frowned at her.

"Pogue's finally getting some?" Reid got a nudge in the ribs.

"Some delicacy is in order, Reid," Hunter reprimanded. "This is his first here."

"First, my ass," the blond snorted.

"First, after Kate," Rowan said.

"Drink your tea," Reid told her. Bruce Lee stirred on his lap.

"No, stay there," Caleb was saying to Pogue. "I just thought I should give you a heads up…Tyler knows, too… You staying, Hunt?" Hunter nodded. "Yeah, he is…All right. See you tomorrow." He hung up.

"You sure there's not anything else?" Caleb asked his sister.

Rowan paused mid-sip; eyes flickering to each of them uncertainly.

"You promised," Reid accused.

"I know! I'm not holding anything back," she defended herself. "I'm just…_unsure_ of something." They waited for her to go on. "He reminded me of someone. I don't know who, though."

"Someone you might have met once before?" Caleb prompted.

Her eyes narrowed thoughtfully. "No…I don't think I've met him." God, this was frustrating; like hitting a brick wall. It was exactly how she felt when she was trying to figure out Chase Collins and who he reminded her of. And that discovery hadn't turned out to be a good one.

"Don't think too much about it, Row," Reid said.

She gave him a half-hearted smile. "The thing is…he didn't really want to hurt me out of an innate like for killing or cruelty. It was about preservation."

"That doesn't matter," Hunter told her, green eyes hard. No, next time that vampire got close; he was going to remove his unbeating heart from his body. _That_ was preservation.

"If I can convince him that there's nothing I could do to change him back anyway, he might leave."

The three guys were silent. Not quite as understanding as all that.

"He could have already told other vampires about you, Lil Bit," her brother said. "And he's a fledgling. He doesn't have any sense right now."

Rowan sighed. The night was wearing on her. "Maybe."

----

"Is everything okay?" Hope asked when Pogue hung up. She had felt his shifting emotions as he spoke to Caleb.

"Uh…yeah," he said.

"If you have to leave…" Her tone was understanding.

Pogue shook his head. "No, Caleb was just letting me know that Rowan's not feeling too great." That was true enough.

Concern washed over her face. "Oh, no. Will she be all right?"

"I think so, yeah." Pause. They stared at one another. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For asking."

Hope's lips curled upwards gently. "Of course. Rowan's great, Pogue."

He chuckled. "She is, yeah."

"I wish my brother cared about me half as much as you guys do Rowan."

Pogue frowned, hearing her sadness. He was also glad that she had actually volunteered information about herself without him asking first. Mostly what he knew about her was that her parents were dead, she and her older brother were taken in by their father's aunt; and that she wasn't very close to either of them. He got that she often had to take care of herself because her aunt was "out there" and her brother was just plain irresponsible and selfish.

"Well, what about your aunt?" he asked.

She was quiet for a moment. "It's not the same thing. After my parents died, my brother and I should have gotten closer. And Aunt Evangeline wasn't the best guide. With her faith healing and crazy friends."

"Aw, so it's faith healing that makes her unstable?" Pogue smiled. "You don't believe in it?"

She snorted. "She dragged me and Justice along on her 'pilgrimages.' A lot of shouting, my aunt would touch them and terminal cancer was cured, and paraplegics could suddenly walk again."

"Hmm. So, they weren't really sick to begin with?"

She scoffed. "I need a little more proof than someone in a wheelchair getting up and walking."

"I think that's where the 'faith' part comes in."

"Whatever it is has nothing to do with faith. Just a bunch of people who have nothing better to do than make a mockery of all of the other people who don't or can't be healed."

"You have a point," he said. "Only if they weren't faking though."

Hope peered at him. "Sounds like _you_ believe in that sort of thing."

"Anything can happen," he said loftily.

"Uh-huh…" She glanced at the clock. "Wow, I better get back."

"Stay," he blurted.

Her brow rose at his insistent tone. "Isn't Hunter coming back?"

"He's staying at Rowan's tonight."

Hope was still undecided.

Pogue grinned. "I'll make you breakfast."

"You cook?"

Laughing, he said, "Sort of."

"We have a test tomorrow," she went on playfully.

His hand took hold of her arm firmly, tugging her to him. "I'll only keep you up for a couple more hours." Pogue kissed her, his body already laying claim to hers. "Three hours, tops. Promise."

"Promises were made to be broken," she breathed.

"Not mine," he whispered, aligning his hips with hers. "I never break my promises."

----

The next morning Hope saw that she had several missed calls from her aunt. Out of courtesy she called the older woman back after Pogue dropped her off at the dorms. She didn't want to shatter the high she was on after the amazing night with Pogue, but Hope wouldn't put it passed her aunt to come down here on a whim.

"Where were you?" Evangeline demanded.

Hope sighed. "At a friend's."

Silence. "A friend."

"Yes."

"Hope…"

"Listen, don't…it's not a big deal."

"Belle said this would happen," she murmured. "Does he know?"

Hope clutched the phone in her hand.

"You should tell him, sweetheart."

She scoffed. "Tell him? You're the one who told me to be discreet. To think of nothing but saving Justice. It's always about Justice! I came here with nothing but lies and you tell me to spill the truth like it's so fucking easy!"

Evangeline sniffled. "I've made a mess of things. I was so focused on your brother…"

"Forget it," Hope cut in. "All right?"

----

Kate listened outside the door. Hope was yelling at someone over the phone. She had seen the new girl ride up with Pogue in the parking lot this morning. They were all kissy-kissy. She knew the look of sexual contentment on Pogue's face, and he had it on him in spades.

And it seemed that Hope wasn't all that genuine. Obviously she was here on false pretenses. Kate had a strong feeling the truth she needed to "spill" had something to do with Pogue. Something supernatural? Hope sure as hell wasn't anyone's long-long sister.

She told herself not to care. Pogue was her past. But Kate couldn't forget the wrongs he had committed against her. The fact that he hadn't cared a whit when Rowan had systematically tortured her for almost a week.

With a sneer on her face, and a wealth of possibilities in her mind, Kate proceeded to class.

* * *

**I hope you guys have good holidays. :)**


	21. End of All Hope

**XXI. End of All Hope**

_End of hope, End of love  
End of time, the rest is silence  
It is the end of all hope  
To lose the child, the faith  
To end all the innocence  
To be someone like me  
-Nightwish_

As she had predicted, speaking to her aunt did crush her good mood. Hope got dressed in her school uniform, performed all her other morning ablutions with a heavy heart, and went to class. Pogue was already there, sitting next to Caleb. Their eyes met briefly, invisible sparks of electricity passed between them. Rowan scooted over for her.

"How're you feeling?" Hope asked.

"Better," she replied with a slight smile. Tired though. She leaned her head against Hunter the entire class.

Her brothers and Reid figured she would be relatively safe during the day, considering her foe was a vampire this time around; but she wasn't to be left alone passed sundown. Rowan had to cork every argument that came to mind when Caleb said that someone would be with her then. Sometimes Caleb could put his foot down like nobody's business and his word would turn to gospel.

Two rows up, Caleb said quietly, "Sorry I interrupted you last night."

Pogue flicked guileless blue eyes at him. "You didn't."

The corners of Caleb's lips twitched. "Okay. So you didn't have company?"

He had to fight to keep the grin off of his face.

"Reid will want to congratulate you. Just a warning."

Pogue's eyes glanced down. The blond must have felt his stare because he glared back and smirked, elbowing Tyler at the same time.

"Great," Pogue muttered.

"Mr. Garwin, is there something you'd care to share with the class?" the teacher asked drolly.

"Ah, no," Reid replied whimsically. "Just stoked about this assignment." He was accompanied by titters from his classmates.

The teacher frowned tolerantly and went back to his lesson.

Rowan chuckled lightly, shook her head at Reid who winked at her. He'd had stayed at her house last night, too; but had been unable to fall asleep in his separate room. At about one in the morning he just went into her room and fell asleep in a comfortable spoon. There'd been no getting frisky. Reid had just wanted to sleep next to her; not to mention it would have been impossible to do with three animals literally surrounding them, and they had no compunctions about curling up right against your ass (Ernie) or head (Bruce Lee and Bubbe).

He'd gotten a brief, stern glare from Caleb in the morning, but he only asked how Rowan had slept, and whatever misgivings the older brother had had of Reid staying with her dissipated when the blond told him she had slept pretty good.

When swim practice came around a few periods later, Reid got his opportunity to congratulate Pogue.

"Really, it was time you moved on," Reid said superiorly.

Pogue scoffed.

"So…is it love?" Hunter asked, smirking. His question had the guys turning their full attention to Pogue.

He clenched his jaw. "It was sex, okay? That's it. Now, can we stop chatting like a bunch of chicks and concentrate on swimming?"

They held up their hands in submission, backed off. None of them bought Pogue's "just sex" spiel, however.

"Was it at least-"

Tyler glared at Reid. "Don't finish that sentence, Reid."

----

Kate slid into the vacant seat next to Hope. They had advanced chemistry together and Kate decided to nominate herself as the new girl's lab partner for today. Hope eyed Kate warily, without rancor. She knew that this was Pogue's ex-girlfriend, the one who had cheated on him, and hated Rowan for whatever reason.

"Hi," she said. "I'm Kate."

Hope hesitated before taking the proffered hand. "Hope."

"I just thought I'd welcome you to Spenser."

Her smile was slightly forced. "I've been here for a month."

Kate grinned. "Well, better late than never, right?"

Hope nodded. Both girls saw Pogue come into the classroom, noted his visible astonishment at seeing them sitting together.

"Oh…drama," Pinkie murmured to Maria.

"Settle down, class," Mr. Portman declared.

Pogue slipped into his usual seat next to Caleb. "How long has she been sitting there?"

"Since she got in here," he replied.

Hope then sneaked a glance at him. He was in the next row, three tables back. She shrugged as if to say she didn't know what was going on either. But she had a feeling it wasn't anything good, and felt uncomfortable not knowing what Kate was up to.

The lights went out so the teacher could conduct his PowerPoint lecture.

"You listening in?" Hunter whispered to Rowan.

"She only welcomed Hope to school."

"After a month?" Hunter shook his head. "The shrew has something in mind."

None of them doubted that.

"So, you and Pogue, hmm?" Kate spoke quietly, leaning in close to Hope like a girlfriend she'd known for years.

"I don't follow."

She giggled under her breath. "It's all right. A lot of girls like him."

Hope nodded.

"We used to date," Kate went on. She didn't bother to ask if Hope knew the reason why they weren't dating anymore. "He's a nice guy, you know? But can be pretty neglectful."

She was beginning to get annoyed. "Really."

"Look, I'm just giving you a heads up before you get in too deep." Kate kept the pose of a concerned friend. "I wouldn't want you to go through what I did. No one should have to."

"What's that?" she couldn't help but ask.

Kate didn't answer for a minute, as if she were summoning up the strength to talk about something that was painful for her. "He was just…always into his family, or his bike, you know? He'll abandon you for almost anything at the drop of a hat if even the tiniest thing is wrong with them." Pause. "Especially Rowan. He doesn't even like anyone so much as looking at her the wrong way. None of them do. Just…imagine if someone came here to like…hurt her, or any one of his 'brothers.'" Kate let her eyes settle on Hope who was staring straight ahead. "He'd never forgive anyone for putting them in danger."

----

Hope splashed cold water over her face. After class she'd bolted to the nearest restroom. What the hell had Kate been getting at? Did she know something? Or was she just trying to scare her off? Either way… Kate's words only exacerbated the driving need to come clean with Pogue.

_But you didn't come here to hurt them_, she told herself.

She had been lying to him though. To all of them.

"Hope?" Rowan came in the restroom. "Are you okay?"

She nodded, dried her face off with a paper towel. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"Oh…well, Pogue's out there. He's worried."

Rowan's psychometry went off. But it was all blurred and incomprehensible; meaning that Hope's thoughts and feelings were turbulent and rushing through her mind like a hail storm.

"Do you need to talk about something?" Rowan asked tentatively. "I'm a good ear."

Hope gave a small smile. She almost spilled her guts then and there. But Pogue was probably the person she needed to confide in first.

"Thanks," she said. "I…uh…"

Rowan nodded, understanding. "It's all right. I'll let you finish up, okay?" She left the bathroom.

"What's up?" Pogue asked.

"Something's bothering her. Didn't tell me what, though." The warning bell rang. Pogue said she better get to class.

Pogue cursed. "Damn Kate." The bathroom door opened, his features instantly softened seeing Hope. Her face was a bit wan. "Hey…you all right?"

"Yeah. Just felt a little sick for a moment there." She probably didn't sound the least bit convincing.

He felt a bit conspicuous just standing there so he took her hand as they walked to their next class. "Listen, about Kate…did she say something to upset you?"

"No, not really. I think she was just fishing."

He ran his hand down his face. "You probably know our break up wasn't exactly a nice one."

She half-smiled. "Yeah. I've heard things." Pause. "Did you love her?"

Silence. "I thought I did." No, that wasn't right. "I mean, I did. It just took me too long to realize that she didn't really love _me_. She just liked the Son of Ipswich thing. A lot of girls are only interested in that." He shrugged. "It was the same with our dads, and our granddads. It's hard to find a girl who'll not care about that."

Ah…that was like a knife to the heart. How did she tell him that it was exactly that, the Sons of Ipswich, which had brought her here. That had been her goal, obtain the Sons' help. And here Pogue was, defining Hope exactly. But she didn't care about whatever power he had, or the whole Ipswich history he was a part of. She just liked him. Felt herself falling in love with him. Pogue was fun, loyal, caring, and even though he tried to hide it, a softie at heart. He knew that family was priceless and didn't take it for granted either.

"Well," she finally said, "for what it's worth, I don't care about any of that."

Pogue's blue eyes gazed at her tenderly, and he smiled. "That's worth a lot. More than you know."

----

"I'll take the day off," Reid said.

Rowan pursed her lips, shook her head. "No. Besides, you don't even want to go."

Sure, going to visit Paul Walters in jail was always a highlight. Normally it wouldn't matter, but with it getting dark at around five in the evening these days, someone had to accompany Rowan on her bi-monthly visits to prison. No one truly understood how she could have become friends with one of the guys who had caused the fatal car accident she'd been in a little over two years ago. But Paul had written to her last January asking forgiveness, and Rowan had gone to visit him – the rest was history.

Now, Reid eyed Paul's most recent letter which was placed on Rowan's nightstand. It was Friday evening, two days after the vampire attack.

"Who's going with you then?" Reid asked.

"Hunter."

He nodded. All right. Fine. "You'll call me when you get there."

"And when I'm done. When I get back on the train. And the second I get off the train," Rowan finished, teasing.

Reid snorted. "I'll meet you there at the station."

"Of course you will." She kissed him on the forehead.

He wasn't going to let her get away with her banter at the situation. Reid grabbed her around the waist and playfully tossed her on her back, the bed bouncing beneath them.

"Hey, no fair, once again," she exclaimed. "You're stronger."

"That's the way it's supposed to be," he replied, letting his weight settle firmly on her with a triumphant grin.

"Yeah…wait, one day I'll get hugely fat and roll over and crush you."

Reid laughed. "I really can't imagine you fat, Row."

"What if I did get fat, though? You'd still love me?"

He kissed her neck. "I'd love you anyway." Truth. "But…how would I make love to you in your favorite position if you're so big I can't lift you?"

"Hmm…that's true," she mused. "I guess I'll have to maintain my current physique."

A physique that Reid was exploring right now with his hands and lips without reserve. They were supposed to meet everyone at Nicky's but were running a little late. Obviously.

----

"What did Belle say _now_?" Hope inquired impatiently. Pogue was going to be here to pick her up any minute to go to Nicky's.

"She said Sunday morning at the Putnam barn," Aunt Evangeline replied.

"'Morning' is pretty broad."

"Well, that's all she got."

"She sure has a selective sight," she quipped.

Evangeline sighed. "We have to work with what we have. Did you tell him yet?"

Silence on Hope's end. "No."

"Maybe this would have all been easier if you had in the first place. The direct approach."

"Maybe it would have been easier if you'd accepted the fact that he _can't_ be saved, and sure as hell doesn't _want_ to be," Hope snapped.

She startled when a knock sounded at the door.

"I have to go," Hope said, and hung up.

"Hey, everything all right?" Pogue asked when she answered.

She put on a smile. "Yeah, why?"

"You sounded upset."

_Oh my God, how much did he hear? _"Just my aunt," she explained.

"The infamous Evangeline," Pogue said. He looked her up and down. "You look great."

Hope crimsoned. She was wearing tight skinny jeans with black heeled boots; strappy pinstripe corset top that showed a subtle amount of smooth cleavage; her hair was pulled back into a sleek ponytail.

"Thanks."

"Ready?"

The cold bit at her skin. He had another biker jacket on his motorcycle and handed it to her. She smiled gratefully, put it on, then the helmet. This was the second time she'd been on his bike, and she loved it. Especially loved the fact that she could wrap her arms around his strong, muscular torso as tight as she wanted.

The ride to Nicky's was too short in her opinion. The warmth of the bar was a small compensation. Everyone else was already there, so they went and joined them.

"I love your top!" Maria smiled.

"Thanks," Hope said.

"I think a lot of men here love your top, sweetie," Pinkie quipped naughtily.

"And where is James tonight?" Hunter asked him.

"Visiting his family for the weekend," Pinkie replied.

"We didn't scare him off, did we?"

Pinkie pouted at Hunter. "Maybe _you_ did. Do you know what he said to James?" he demanded everyone. "He said, and I do quote, 'If you hurt Pinkie, I'll cut your d-i-c-k off, so no matter who you're with in the future, you'll always be the bitch.'"

The table laughed.

"Seriously?" Reid turned to Hunter.

Hunter shrugged unapologetically. "Haven't I done worse to those who hurt my friends?"

"Only you would actually do it," Caleb pointed out.

"True," Hunter answered. "That is true."

"We're just looking out for you, Pinks," Rowan said. "And we do like James."

"Oh, I know," Pinkie said flippantly. He gave Hunter a peck on the cheek. "I forgive you. Just don't threaten his manhood again. You'll ruin my plans."

"Plans? You mean you guys haven't-" Reid began to ask, then stopped abruptly. "Don't answer that." It was just a reflexive question, that. "I don't want to know."

Tyler snorted. "That'd be the first."

Reid nudged him jokingly. He saw one of the pool tables free up and declared a game.

"How's your foosball game?" Caleb asked Judy.

She looked at him shrewdly, a sly smile playing on her face. "I think I can give you some competition this time."

Caleb kissed her and took her to one of the tables, leaving Pinkie, Hunter, Maria, Hope and Pogue.

"Ah, I need food," Pogue said, and got up. "You want anything?"

"Just a drink would be good," Hope said. She was as surprised as Pogue was when he bent down and kissed her before heading to the bar.

Four sets of eyes danced merrily in her direction.

"He is like, so in love with you," Pinkie and Maria said at the same time.

"Uh…" Hope was definitely put on the spot.

"That's okay. You don't have to say anything," Rowan said. "They make their statements…"

"And they turn out to be truth," Hunter finished.

Up at the counter, Pogue waited for his order, his eyes in the direction of where Hope was sitting. He didn't see Kate sidle in next to him.

"Hey, Pogue," she greeted silkily.

Just her voice put a sour taste in his mouth. "Kate."

"How've you been?"

He glared at her for a moment, then chuckled wryly, didn't say anything.

"So…you two are getting serious?" Kate asked.

"Is that any of your business?" he returned.

"No." She shrugged casually. "Just that…I've been hearing things."

He smirked. "Sounds like you need to be talking to a shrink then, not me."

Kate bit back her retort. "I meant about your girlfriend." Her eyes flittered over to Hope across the room. "What do you know about her?"

He was beginning to get annoyed. "Look, Kate, cut the shit, all right? What do you want?"

"I just think you should be careful. She's not who she says she is."

"Yeah, and you'd be the expert on duplicity, right?"

"Don't you wonder why she came here?" she questioned, ignoring his snappishness. "She kind of popped up…like Chase."

The hairs rose on the back of Pogue's neck.

Kate quoted, "I came here with nothing but lies, now you ask me to spill the truth…"

"What does that mean?"

"I told you." Kate smiled innocently. "Just something I heard." She gathered herself and made to leave. "Oh, yeah, and also something about saving 'Justice.' Whatever that is."

By the time his order was ready Pogue didn't feel so hungry anymore. He was seeing Hope through new eyes; eyes that Kate had opened for him. Why did he listen to her? Pogue knew he shouldn't, Kate was a consummate liar, he knew from firsthand experience. And Justice, her brother? Why did _he_ need saving? So, her older, wayward brother was the reason why she'd come to Ipswich. Things weren't adding up.

----

Hope was glad Pogue was still at the food counter because all of a sudden, she knew without a doubt that Justice was here. She scanned the room as casually as she could, but there was no sign of him. But she did notice Pogue talking to his ex-girlfriend, Kate, or rather trying not to talk to her.

"Ugh, does that girl never give up?" Pinkie intoned, seeing the same spectacle as Hope. He shook his head in distaste and took a dainty sip of his diet Sprite.

"It's, like, so sad," Maria added. "_She_ wronged _him_, and now look at her…" Her gestures were an echo of Pinkie's.

Hope didn't hear them, though. Justice's face appeared astonishingly close to Pogue's for a tiny second.

Suddenly, Rowan began to choke on her soda. Hunter patted her on the back.

"Sorry," she rasped. "Went down the wrong tube."

_Her brother_, she thought. _The vampire is her brother! That's why he reminded me of someone._

Rowan's psychometry had gone off like a flash, with one crystal clear picture in mind. It was Hope's mental image of her brother, but when he had been human.

"Row…you okay?" Hunter asked.

She nodded. Couldn't help stealing a glance at Hope. Their stares met for a brief, almost knowing second. The connection was cut off before conclusions could be drawn though. Rowan was unaware that she was shaking.

"Cold," she said.

"I'll be right back," Hope said abruptly.

Hunter knew there was something more going on. He caught Reid's eye; the blond had felt something amiss through his and Rowan's bond.

"Sorry," Rowan said.

"Um…Pinkie, let's go to the powder room," Maria said, and practically dragged the boy with her.

"What is it?" Hunter asked. Tyler and Reid were making their way over, so was Pogue.

"What happened?" Pogue put his food on the table.

"I…" Rowan looked at all of them, but her gaze lingered on Pogue. What was she going to tell him? That Hope's brother was hunting them, or her, Rowan. _Me._ She felt no anger towards Hope, just a miasma of confusion. "You need…go out there," she managed to say. "To Hope." She gestured towards the back.

"What…?" Pogue's face lit with consternation.

_I'm sorry, Pogue. I'm so, so sorry, _Rowan thought. Because she knew his heart was about to take another beating.

----

"Justice! Come out, now!" Hope yelled.

It was like an eerie movie, with steam coming out of the ground vents, boxes of empty glass bottles lined the walls, and a large Dumpster near overflowing with garbage. At least she'd had the sense to grab her jacket this time.

"Hope," Justice said, coming out of the shadows.

She was on his with her fists so fast one would think she was the vampire. But it was like hitting stone. "You asshole! What the hell are you doing here?!"

"Hey, hey, hey!" He grabbed her wrists, shoved her back gently. "It's a free country. I came for a drink."

"Yeah, and I can only imagine what kind of drink you want."

Justice smirked. "I also have a score to settle with another bloodbag. And since you're oh-so close to them…"

"Them? What do they have to do with anything?"

"They're between me and The Light. Especially that...guy, the gay one."

She tilted her head to the side, wary. "Hunter?"

Justice chuckled. "Appropriate name. Yeah, he snapped my neck the other night. Didn't even see it coming. He popped up out of nowhere. Literally."

"What are you talking about?"

"The Light, Hope. Jesus Christ. You've been hanging out with them for how long and you still haven't figured it out? It's not a guy."

Moments of shock passed, then she whispered, "Rowan." _Rowan's The Light._

"Kind of surprising huh? She's actually kind of powerful in her own way, but she gets weak fast."

"Rowan," Hope said again under her breath, taking an unconscious step back.

God, all this time she'd been seeking out Rowan. And…she couldn't ask her to help her brother. She was so…delicate, fragile, and…

_BANG!_

Justice hit the brick wall of the building so hard it shook. Hope spun around. All of them were there, even Rowan.

"Hope?" Pogue glanced at her, then at Justice. "Do you know him?"

"Ah, fuck, let me go, asshole!" Justice demanded. He was being held up against the wall by Hunter's telekinetic force; a mental force that was so strong not even this vampire could break it. He felt pressure on his bones, and even though he knew they would mend as soon as they broke, it still hurt like hell.

Hunter scoffed. "Yeah, sure, I'll do that."

"Hope." Pogue said her name with insistence.

"He's…my brother," she finally managed to say. Still reeling from finding out that Rowan was The Light, her eyes found hers, and the guys collectively surrounded her like a shield.

"You guys," Rowan chastised behind them.

"Stay there, Rowan," Pogue ordered. "Who the hell are you?" he demanded of Hope.

"I…I was supposed to come here for…"

"My sister?" Caleb stepped in, his usual amiable face now set in placid anger.

"No!" Hope denied. "I mean, yes, but for her help-"

"Screw you! Your brother tried to kill my girlfriend the other night, did you know that?" Reid snapped.

"Help for what?" Rowan asked, nudging her way through the tall muscled bodies. "Turning your brother back human?"

Hope nodded.

"Forget it," Pogue said, pulling Rowan back.

"Let me down!" Justice hollered.

Hunter ignored him. Slipped a sharp stake from the inside chest of his jacket that he'd been saving especially for Justice.

"No! Wait!" Hope shouted.

"Wait a second, Hunter," Rowan told him. "Let her explain first."

"Explain what?" Pogue snapped. "That she's been lying to us from the second she got here? You knew who we were the entire time, didn't you?" He was a foot away from Hope now.

"Yes," Hope sighed. "My aunt told me that The Light was here and that it could help Justice. I didn't know it was Rowan!" She glanced at her apologetically.

"Why should I believe you now?" Pogue hissed.

Rowan wanted to intervene, but Reid and her brothers weren't letting her move from the sphere of their protection.

"Stop!" Justice shouted.

Hunter was two seconds away from staking him. "You shouldn't have tried to hurt her. I don't let anyone get away with that."

"Please, wait!" Hope beseeched Hunter. Despite everything, she couldn't just let her brother be eliminated here, like this.

"Do it, Hunt," Pogue said coldly.

"Ah, fuck you!" Justice spat in Pogue's direction.

"Nah," Hunter deadpanned. "Fuck yourself." And he aimed for the vampire's heart.

The stake stopped less than an inch from Justice's chest. One second nobody was there, and the next, there stood Raphael Spellman, holding the wooden stake in his large, pale hand beset with one fat ruby ring on his middle finger.

"Let us be patient, my young Shepherd," the older vampire said blithely.

"Who the hell are you?" Justice asked.

Censuring eyes landed on Justice. "I do believe I just saved your undead life. Now, be silent. I've words for you, yet." He turned back to Hunter. "Would you kindly release him?"

Hunter's jaw clenched, but he finally ceded to the elder's request. Raphael held Justice by the neck of his jacket to keep him from bolting. "My associates and I have been tracking you, fledgling. If not for Caleb's timely telephone call you would have continued to elude us." He smirked. "Though not for long."

Rowan looked at Caleb. "You called him?"

"Demonic warlocks we can deal with, but vampires are a little out of our league, Rowan," he said.

"He is right, _chérie_," Raphael said to Rowan. "You should have contacted me immediately." But his expression was one of affection. "And you have made quite a mess," he told Justice. "Frollo! Niles!"

Two tall men, vampires, slithered out from the darkness, seamlessly. One had hair so blond it was almost white; the other had chin-length hair the color of almonds. They wore long coats and tailored suits.

"This is the fledgling?" Niles, the blond one, inquired distastefully. "What is the world coming to?" He said something in a foreign language, the tone indicating it wasn't complimentary.

"I want a word with his maker, that is for certain," Frollo added with as much disdain.

Justice sneered. "Who the fu-"

"No," Raphael voiced. "You really do not want to finish that sentence, young one." As if Justice were a rag, he handed the fledgling over to his associates. "Take him. I shall join you shortly."

"Where are you taking him?" Hope questioned.

For the first time Raphael looked at her, sympathetically. "Come with me, _oui_? We shall sort things out."

When Hope hesitated, Rowan said, "It's okay, Hope. You can trust him. I've known him for years."

She nodded. Then glanced at Pogue whose returned stare was unfeeling, brought on by betrayal of the worst kind. "Pogue, I…"

He didn't listen. He pivoted on his heel and walked away.

Now that Justice was subdued, Rowan was allowed out from her gilded cage. "Go with him." She touched Hope's hand gently. "We can talk about this later."

"I never meant to hurt him," Hope said softly.

Reid's scoff was audible, as was his curse.

"I know," Rowan replied.

"I shall call upon your family later, Rowan," Raphael informed. He bent down and gave her a cold kiss on the cheek. "_Au revoir_."

In minutes they were gone.

"Where did Pogue go?" Tyler asked.

"I heard his bike," Caleb said.

"What a mess," Hunter uttered.

"No shit," Reid agreed.

----

Pogue gunned the accelerator on his bike until he felt it grind. He couldn't go fast enough.

He sped down a long, empty stretch of road to nowhere.

* * *

**Don't worry, Hope and Pogue will have a talk. That wasn't it.**

**More heartache to come. :) ... After five reviews. :o) jk  
**


	22. About Her

**XXII. About Her**

_Well no one told me about her  
The way she lied  
But it's too late to say you're sorry  
How would I know?  
Why should I care?  
Please don't bother trying to find her  
She's not there  
-Malcolm McLaren_

Rowan woke up early the next morning, the previous night seeming like a bad dream; though she could not delude herself into thinking it was. No. Justice had been taken into custody by Raphael Spellman; Hope's true reason for being here was found out, and Pogue's heart had been broken, again. This was her main concern, the well being of Pogue. With a familiar ache in her hip, Rowan rose from bed, cozied her feet in her fluffy blue slippers and headed downstairs to feed the animals.

The aroma of fresh coffee permeated the kitchen, and voices streamed in from the dining room. Walking through the swinging door she saw her mother, Caleb, and Raphael Spellman having breakfast and coffee at the table.

"_Chérie_, good morning," Raphael greeted, the tips of his white fangs peeking out from his smile.

"Morning," she replied with a grin as she sat down next to Caleb. Her mother served her a plate of pancakes, eggs, and sausage with a glass of orange juice.

The vampire was sipping a cup of hot coffee. It was normal for a vampire to drink liquids other than blood. Coffee and other beverages had absolutely no nutritional or sustenance value, but it was tasteful. And Raphael did always enjoy a cup of finely brewed coffee, or Earl Grey tea. One would think that after three-hundred plus years of living that a simple pleasure such as this would have long lost its flavor, not so.

Raphael Spellman was tall and broad shouldered with a full head of dark hair combed back from his face. Rowan had fallen in love with him as a little girl the first time she'd seen him because he so closely resembled Clark Gable circa 1934_, _which was five years before _Gone with the Wind_; one of her favorite movies of all time, and he one of her favorite actors.

After the usual preliminary morning inquiries, Raphael said, "Now that you are here, Rowan, I thought I would inform you all about Justice. If that is all right." This was directed at Evelyn.

The lady of the house paused before giving her consent.

The vampire bowed his head slightly at her. "As you know, Justice's behavior, fledgling or not, is highly frowned upon by our society. Not all vampires choose to integrate themselves peacefully among others; alas, however, times are changing and laws concerning the conduct of vampires are becoming more concrete." He took a drink; a genuine gleam of felicity lit his eyes as he savored it.

He continued on to say that Justice was in something akin to a rehabilitation center. If he chose to amend his ways then he would eventually be able to live about on his own on a probationary status, of course.

"What about his maker?" Caleb asked. "Shouldn't he, or she, have to face some kind of jury for making someone like him? It was pretty careless."

Raphael nodded. "Justice killed his maker. A woman, Belinda Nash. Though he is remiss to tell us why."

The table was silent.

"Is there no punishment for that?" Evelyn inquired casually with an arch of a perfectly shaped eyebrow. She really couldn't have cared less that a woman who created a life, for lack of a better word, so indiscriminately should be allowed freedom to do so again.

"There is no law against killing one's maker. It is just…frowned upon. She is also not in any of our databases. From the bits we gleaned, she was likely a fairly young vampire as well."

Raphael was momentarily distracted by the ferret that had since come into the dining area and seated himself on the empty chair next to him. Bruce Lee's beady eyes stared intently on Raphael's ruby ring, a charmed piece that allowed him to walk in the light. Likely the ferret was waiting for it to somehow magically slip off of Raphael's finger so he could swipe it up and add it to one of his many collections of pilfered goods around the house.

"You are not getting your hands on this, little creature," the vampire teased.

"And…what about Hope?" Rowan spoke.

"She was allowed to say goodbye to her brother. But he won't be able to communicate with anyone for a couple of months. We've assured her that Justice is in good hands."

----

"I'm sleeping!" Pogue shouted to Hunter from his room. He didn't open his eyes until he heard Hunter's footsteps retreat.

Pogue had gotten home around three A.M. after his meandering joyride. He went straight to his room, dropped into bed, then brooded about Hope and her betrayal until he fell asleep about an hour later.

Now, the curtains in his room were closed, no lights were on, he lay in bed in t-shirt and boxers, hiding in his dark room; ignoring his cell phone. Pretty much the outside world in general. Deep down he wished that Hope would call him, so he could hear her voice; but then Pogue would mentally castigate himself with a wealth of self-disgust. Why the hell would he want to talk to her? After what she'd done? Her lies. Her two-faced…

Pogue buried his head in the pillow. Maybe it wasn't so great, sleeping in here. The room, the bed, where he had Hope had made love.

_Sex, Pogue,_ he yelled silently. It was not love. Had nothing to do with love.

He groaned in frustration.

_What are you doing now, Hope?_ Pogue wondered. He hoped she was suffering… Kind of.

----

Hope curled up in a fetal position on her bed. It had been a long, long night. She'd gone with Justice to a remote location to say goodbye, but she wasn't sure where he'd been taken after that. She was glad that she was not allowed to know. Justice was no longer her responsibility; she was free of him and securing his well-being. Living for herself was something Hope had always craved, but now that she could, the prospect only left her hollow. Hope would have liked to continue on with Pogue; but her silence had ruined that, and he'd found out in the worst way imaginable.

She had not had a chance to properly apologize to him yet, or explain her actions. Not that there was an excuse, she was just hoping that maybe he could find it in himself to understand the position she had been in.

While Hope was planning all the ways she could approach Pogue, her cell phone rang. Her heart leapt in her throat.

"Hello?" she answered.

"Hi, Hope?"

A blank drew up in her mind at the voice. Wanting so much to hear Pogue's voice she was jarred at hearing anything but. Then the voice clicked.

"Rowan," she said.

"Is it okay that I called you?" Rowan asked tentatively.

"Yeah!" Hope assured her. "Yeah, it's fine. I just…didn't think that…"

----

"…didn't think that…"

Rowan nodded. She was lying on her bed, Reid looking disapprovingly at her but said nothing as he pet Bubbe and looked at his comic book.

"How are you?"

Pause on the other line. "Okay, I guess."

_She sounds so sad._ "Raphael told me about your brother. He'll be okay where he is."

"I know," Hope replied quietly. Pause. "But how are you?"

"I'm fine."

Hope sighed. "I'm really sorry."

"You don't have to apologize to me." Rowan ignored Reid's snort of derision. "I understand."

Hope gave a truncated, gruff laugh. "Pogue doesn't."

Rowan worried her lip. "He just needs time."

"Like an eternity," Reid quipped.

"Give it a couple of days," Rowan continued, "he'll give you a chance to explain."

"Not that you deserve it," Reid added.

Rowan put the phone on mute for a second and said to Reid, "You are so cut off for a month!"

He acted as if he had been stricken. "You wouldn't."

"I will. And I am." She went back to Hope. "How's your aunt taking this?"

"All right, I guess. Disappointed that he won't be human again."

"That's understandable." They spoke for a few more minutes, Rowan said she would see her at school on Monday, and hung up.

"You're not seriously cutting me off are you?" Reid demanded, tossing his comic aside.

She glowered at him. "Your comments were not necessary. She's hurting."

"So's Pogue."

"I know that. And I know she could have handled it better, but I'm sure she had her reasons. Hope didn't mean anyone any harm."

He rolled his eyes. "She came here to use us. To use _you_."

"She came here for help."

"This about Hope?" Hunter asked, walking into the room with Bruce Lee on his shoulder, and a soda in hand. After Caleb came to relieve Hunter of trying to get Pogue out of his room, he headed over to see Rowan; he was still going with her to visit Paul Walters.

"Row thinks that Hope is excusable or some shit," Reid informed him.

"He's just mad because I'm cutting him off," Rowan said.

Hunter laughed, said to Reid, "What'd you say?"

"Nothing!" Reid exclaimed, the injured party. He turned to Bubbe, "Did I say anything wrong?" Pause. "No, see, she says I didn't."

Rowan snorted. "Yeah, okay."

"If we were married you wouldn't be allowed to do this," he pointed out judiciously.

She chuckled. "But we're not married."

"Kind of far in the future, yeah?" Hunter titled his head to side, eyeing Reid knowingly.

Reid just shrugged, his smile enigmatic, letting the mental image of marriage hang in the air between them. He checked his watch. "I got to go." He put Bubbe aside and got up.

Hunter took the vacated spot, plopped down on the bed next to Rowan, stretched out.

"Dude, you're lucky you're family," Reid said, smirking.

Bruce Lee scrambled off of his shoulder to curl up next to Ernie who was snoozing on the end of the bed. The cat had relocated to Rowan's lap. The other boy just smiled, popped the tab on his soda can, put his arm around Rowan. "Go make coffee, Reid. Say hi to Sarah and her friends for me."

The blond pulled a face. "Brody and Aaron better not come in today. I'm really not in the mood." Just imagine his ultimate chagrin when a few weeks after Sarah was hired, in came walking Brody and Aaron… Brody, who was "casually" dating Sarah. Casually as in: I bet you I could get her in bed by the end of the month. "Chick's got low standards. Very low."

"Maybe there's something about Brody she's sees that we don't," Rowan opined.

Hunter and Reid both eyed her incredulously.

A slightly abashed expression overpowered her gentle features. "Or not. Jeez."

They said in unison, "It's a bet."

She was rendered silent for a minute, as the idea had not occurred to her. "That…sounds like something they would do," she said, disappointed. "Maybe-"

"Don't try to warn her, Row," Reid told her, not unkindly. Hell, it was one of the reasons why he loved her so much, this innate kindness she possessed. But, "This is all on her."

Hunter nodded. "Sarah's a big girl. No doubt she's heard all the gossip about Brody and Aaron, got involved anyway."

Rowan still appeared unsure, like she was seeing a lamb on its way to slaughter and doing nothing. Reid kissed her goodbye, said he would be at the train station to pick them up later. He took her Jeep to work; he loved his Mustang, but Rowan's car was better for driving around in this kind of weather.

While he drove, he thought about how glad he was that this stupid vampire thing was taken care. For the most part, anyway. It wasn't as if Justice was the only asshole-vamp in the world, and who knew how many others had knowledge of what Rowan could do. As far as the blond was concerned, Hope's brother could rot. No one could accuse Reid of being a particularly understanding or sympathetic person, unless he considered you family; and he wouldn't deny that he wasn't either. He was unforgiving, unforgetting, quick to pass sentence.

As with Hope. She had a big, fat red X over her face in Reid's mind. The same with Kate and Sarah.

He saw Sarah's car in Beans' parking lot; blue eyes scanned the area, didn't see Aaron or Brody's vehicles. It was as he was unbuckling his seat belt when he noticed a slip of paper under the seat. He wiggled the slip out, and it took a moment for him to register what he was seeing.

A ticket. Rowan had gotten a ticket. The day Justice had attacked her, but before it happened.

Someone might as well have told him Rowan had kicked a dog, because her getting a ticket was just as unbelievable. It didn't occur to Reid that a person could get a written warning for something other than speeding, so he was feeling pretty indignant as he shoved the paper into his pocket.

_She always tells me to not speed,_ he thought peevishly.

The bell tinkled as he entered the warm building. There were ten customers inside, Sarah and the assistant manager, Sam, were behind the counter. Reid said hi to the latter; politely ignored Sarah as his greeting.

"Your girlfriend's not coming in today?" Sam joked.

"She's avoiding you," Reid retorted.

He snapped his fingers. "Damn. Her face would have brightened my day. Better than yours."

The blond chuckled. Sam liked to play at the idea that he would steal Rowan away from Reid. An hour later when things were going smoothly, Kate walked in. She ordered from Sarah, sat down at a table.

Reid was wiping them down. Kate spoke to him when he was in ear shot.

"Was everything okay last night? You all left pretty suddenly."

He took a breath, trying not to spit out one of the many comebacks that bounced around in his mind. So his face naturally settled into its disdainful sneer complete with glowering cold-blue eyes.

"Can I get you anything else?" he patronized.

Kate beamed sweetly in return. "No, I'm good."

Reid met Sarah's eyes as he walked behind the counter. She had the good grace to seem a little embarrassed. After all, it was her friend who was coming into her work place and attempting to stir up conflict.

"Ah, for Christ's sake," Sam moaned.

Aaron and Brody just walked in.

"Morning keeps getting better and better," Reid muttered.

----

"So Abbot's flat out drunk, orders his coffee, takes out his flask and pours it straight in the cup until it overflows," Reid narrated. "He starts yelling at Sam like it's his fault all his booze is gone."

Eyes rolled as the blond recalled his day at work. Everyone including Maria was in Hunter and Pogue's living room eating Rowan's homemade chili. It was Pogue's favorite, and the only thing that grudgingly got him to come out of his room.

"A fucking mess," Reid said, taking a spoonful of chili. "Totally plastered, wasn't even one in the afternoon yet. Asshole."

"Did Sarah get in trouble?" Tyler asked.

"Ben," – the manager – "will probably talk to her," Reid answered. "Maybe she'll get fired." The prospect cheered him slightly.

Rowan shot him a light censuring glance. "It's not like she asked for it."

"Hey, Aaron didn't start coming in until she took up with Brody."

Maria visibly shuddered. "He is, like, so unpleasant. You know, he asked me if my boobs got bigger the other day."

"He _what_?" Tyler bit out. "Why didn't you tell me then?"

"Because of this reaction now, sweetie," his girlfriend answered. "You'll calm down by Monday."

"I'll see him at the dorms," Tyler reminded her.

Maria pursed her lips. "Oh…pooh, I didn't even think of that."

The group chuckled. All except Pogue who was only half-listening. Bubbe languished on his lap as he spooned chili into his mouth. He was still wearing T-shirt and boxers, socked feet propped up on the coffee table; hair mussed; chin unshaved. It seemed all the animals could feel his pain because the ferret and German shepherd stuck close to the grieving human, too.

"Aaron's been drunk a lot lately. He comes to class smelling like liquor," Hunter mused.

Caleb shook his head in disgust. Alcoholics were a sore spot for him, obviously. "Going to get kicked off the swim team."

"I have no problem with that," Reid stated.

"Who was driving?" Rowan asked. "Brody wasn't drinking too, was he?"

This concern about driving reminded Reid about his girlfriend's ticket that was still stuffed in his pocket, it had been forgotten after the blow up at his work place. And with that came his earlier indignation. He set his bowl down, leaned back on the sofa, crossed arms over his chest.

"As long as he wasn't speeding," Reid said.

"I think that's still dangerous," Caleb put in.

The blond shrugged. "Ask Rowan about speeding."

Her brow furrowed. "What?"

Hunter laughed. "Rowan? Speeding?"

Reid frowned, took the slip of paper out of his pocket. Rowan's face stilled. She had forgotten all about that.

"I wasn't speeding," she defended herself.

"What's the ticket for then?" Reid asked.

"Rowan, you were speeding?" Caleb jumped in. Even Pogue was more alert. "You know better than that."

"I wasn't!" she denied, snatching the paper from Reid. "What's your problem? Calling me out like that."

"Your safety," Reid deadpanned. That was exactly it. Not even the fact that she reminded the rest of them about vehicular safety, but that she would be so careless, too.

Rowan snorted. "I was not speeding."

"Was your taillight or something then?" Pogue spoke.

"No." Her cheeks were turning red.

"What else did you get pulled over for then?" Tyler questioned, though not as vehemently as the others.

She frowned. "I was…slowing."

Silence.

More silence.

"Are you saying," Caleb began, "that you got pulled over for driving too _slow_?"

"Yes, that's what I'm saying," she replied tersely.

Silence. Then…laughter. Even Pogue's was loud.

"There was ice on the road!" she exclaimed. "And Ernie was in the car with me, damn it."

Reid was bent over, his entire body shaking.

_You are _so_ getting cut off for _two_ months!_ She sent the message to him as hard as she could that his body jerked.

"Hey!" he yelped.

"Five more seconds," Rowan said. "Then you guys shut up."

----

Pogue woke up at five-thirty Monday morning to let Bubbe out of his room so she could use the litter box in the bathroom. The orange tabby cat had slept on Pogue's chest half the night and almost on his head for the rest. The cat was staying with him again; Rowan once again foresaw the need of the feline's comfort and brought Bubbe's stuff over the Saturday her "slowing" incident had been revealed.

While the cat did her business, the human got her breakfast ready.

"'Sup," Hunter greeted, his mien wide awake. He was a morning person, afternoon person, night person; pretty much an all day person. Each day upon awaking he would do one-hundred one-hand push-ups on each arm, then two-hundred crunches. He had to keep up his stamina and overall physical harmony.

Pogue's response was a sleep-induced one. Two minutes later Bubbe padded into the kitchen, observed her food and water for a moment as if making sure everything was just right.

Bubbe had been a stray for almost a year before being adopted into the Danvers family. Months of scrounging around for food and acceptable, safe sleeping or hiding places had been commonplace for the feline. So after she was adopted and Bubbe began to adjust to the routine of domestic life, there was no going back. She liked things just so. Preferring her litter box to be cleaned twice a day; coat thoroughly brushed softly before bed time, and if it wasn't done right she would not allow you to sleep until it was; ears rubbed for at least a half hour of every day; tummy rubs and cuddling was a must; warmth was, too; and she only drank Arrowhead water. Bubbe hated being in unfamiliar places and was very much a homebody, maternal.

Pogue was lagging more than usual this morning. He knew he would run into Hope and he both dreaded and wanted to see her. Although he would not acknowledge the latter. His heart sped up just thinking about her, and he'd missed spending the weekend with her. Caleb had informed him about her brother; Pogue had pretended not to care.

Before leaving he made sure to clean out Bubbe's litter box and make sure the bathroom door was open for her; the drapes were pulled so she could look out the window; and the thermostat was at an appropriate degree for her, too.

Hunter and Pogue sped off on their motorcycles to Spenser Academy, thereupon parking in their usual spots which no one else ever dared to occupy.

Rowan, Reid and Caleb were waiting for them in the front hall out of the cold. She silently looped her arm through Pogue's and inquired how Bubbe was doing because she knew it would distract him. He dilly-dallied at his locker.

"We're gonna be late," Reid said.

They sent _are you kidding me?_ glances at the blond. Reid shrugged.

"Got to face it some time," Caleb told Pogue.

They walked to class. Pogue kept his eyes downcast, beelined straight for his usual seat up on the fourth tier. That was when he took a quick scan of the room; Hope was sitting alone in the first row. As his eyes swept back to the front, he caught Kate's; his ex-girlfriend smiled at him. It was not returned. For the rest of class Pogue's mind was elsewhere. He had become accustomed to waiting for Hope after class so they could walk together, but now he bolted.

"She doesn't have the plague," Rowan said to him.

"She might as well," he replied.

Rowan sighed. She could feel a pinch between her eyes, her throat was scratchy and she felt a bit light-headed. Waking up overheated last night had kept her awake. Rowan figured another bout of sickness was coming on, though she didn't know why; it hadn't been that long since the last time in December. It had even gotten to the point where she almost called out to Caleb. Ernie did it before she could. Pushed himself through Caleb's partially opened door and nudged his wet nose in Cay's face until he woke up. He made her some tea and she managed to fall asleep.

----

Pogue, once again, took his sweet time in the locker room after swim practice. It was after school now; the day was pretty much over. He managed to avoid Hope all throughout; in person anyway, because her beautiful face didn't leave his mind.

So, imagine his elation and annoyance when she was waiting for him outside the guys' locker room. There was no one in sight to save him from this confrontation.

Hope had changed out of her school uniform into jeans, long-sleeved white shirt and jacket. Her silky ebony hair hung down her back, and the flash of a memory flickered; him running his hands through those velvety locks. He took a breath; let the cold, frigid air into his lungs.

"I need to talk to you," she said.

"Yeah, well, I got nothing to say to you."

Hope inserted herself in front of him when he tried to walk away. "Please, Pogue."

It was her intense eyes that crushed his resolve. But he swore no mercy. He couldn't forgive her. Wouldn't let himself.

"Fine," was his clipped response.

She was silent for a moment. Then sighed. "I know you're angry with me, and I don't blame you." Hope bit her bottom lip before continuing. "I promise I did not come here to hurt you. My brother was turned almost a year ago, and my aunt knew about this person in Ipswich from her psychic friend who might be able to change him back."

He snorted dubiously. "You'd have used one of us."

"I didn't know it was Rowan."

"And if you had?" he finally spoke.

Pause. Shook her head slowly. "I wouldn't… I wouldn't have asked. I didn't even think it'd work when I came here. I thought my aunt was grasping at straws. Justice didn't even want to be helped." Her cheeks became a deeper crimson, this time from anger and not the cold. Her fists clenched inside her pockets; Hope paced.

"So why'd you come then?" he spat.

"I didn't know what else to do. I've been cleaning up after him for years."

_Don't feel for her._ "Everything you said was a lie."

"Yeah. But not…"

Pogue swallowed a lump in his throat, both wanting and not wanting to hear the rest. "Not what?"

"I didn't lie when I said I liked you and your friends." Her gaze implored him for understanding in this. "How I am when I'm…with you." Dear God, she had never laid herself so bare to anyone before. "All of that was truth."

_Don't believe her. _"I'm supposed to believe you? You knew who I was when you came here. Son of Ipswich," he said contemptuously. "You used me."

"I didn't!" she cried. "I meant it when I said I don't care about the Son thing!"

"That's why you came here!" he yelled.

"At first, yeah," she defended. "Not after I got to know you though. Not after. I didn't expect…" Hope cut herself off then. The words on the tip of her tongue were too raw.

"Expect what?" he pushed.

"I didn't expect…to get so involved." _Liar. You didn't expect to fall in love with him._

Pogue hid his disappointment. Covered it with red animosity. Took a step forward. Tried not to be taken in by the sweet, close proximity of his body to hers. He could only look into her eyes, warring between what his heart and mind were saying.

"You're a liar and a user," he said, his voice quieter than the snowfall.

Hope winced. "I don't know what else I can say, Pogue."

_Say you love me._ Pogue knew if she said it, he would give in. Fear of getting hurt again stilled his tongue; kept him from taking the first step.

"No," he uttered, "there isn't."

Then he did the hardest thing he had ever done in his life. He walked away from her. From Hope.

* * *

**Their way back to one another won't be an easy one. **

**I put a picture of Raphael on my profile.**

**Love to know what you think. :D Thanks for reading, as always.  
**


	23. Wicked Game

**XXIII. Wicked Game**

_Strange what desire  
will make foolish people do__  
I never dreamed that  
I'd meet somebody like you  
What a wicked game you play  
To make me feel this way  
What a wicked thing to do  
To let me dream of you  
-Chris Isaak_

Hunter heard some talk show blaring in the living room when he got home. He and Rowan went to see a movie; and this is what he comes back to. Pogue was sitting on the couch wearing boxers, t-shirt, socks; his feet propped up on the table among empty soda cans; his hand in a bag of Doritos, and Bubbe on his lap. The same thing everyday since Pogue's falling out with Hope. Hunter would come home from the dojo, dinner with Gabe, Rowan's house; and there Pogue would be, ass planted on the couch.

"Hey," Pogue said, eyes glued on the TV.

"Hey."

"How was the movie?"

"Good." Still no eye contact. Except for Bubbe. She looked at Hunter as if she were saying _do something. _"Uh…you been here all night?"

"S'only eight."

"It's nine-thirty, dude." Damn, he was worried about his brother. Obviously miserable, but too stubborn to just accept Hope's apology and go from there. "You're still going to the barn tomorrow, right?"

Pogue nodded silently. "Wouldn't miss it."

Hunter's cell phone rang; he went into his room to take it, shut the door behind him.

"Is he still on the couch?" Caleb asked.

"Yup. Stuffing his face with junk."

Caleb sighed on the other line. "I thought the weekend might perk him up."

He snorted. "I think only Hope can perk him."

"Well, that's not happening."

----

"Yeah," Caleb replied. He sat in front of his laptop, saved a document, pulled Bruce Lee off of the keyboard. Judy was at her parents for the weekend otherwise he'd have been out with her. "Hey, did Rowan seem okay with you?" he asked.

"Tired," Hunter answered, always keen to his closest friend. "She said she's been getting short bouts of fever."

Caleb confirmed that. "I don't know what it's about. She's resting right now."

"Good."

They chatted a bit longer before hanging up. Caleb ran his hand down his face, weary, concerned. Putting the ferret on his shoulder, he went to check on his sister. Rowan had lit a candle and some incense, and was half-asleep.

"Cay?" she mumbled.

"Yeah," he said, keeping his voice quiet, sat on her bed.

Her eyes peeped open; Ernie snuffled next to her. "Pogue still on the couch?"

He nodded.

"Hmm. When he and Hope...this'll go away."

She wasn't making a lot of sense, but after so many years Caleb got the gist of it. His little sister drifted off a minute later. He wondered if she'd be well enough to go to Tyler's Ascension tomorrow.

"Ty's gonna be okay," she muttered as if she could read his mind in her semi-slumberous stage.

Caleb chuckled softly. "No doubts there." He put Bruce Lee down, the animal curled up above Rowan's head. He sat with her until he was certain she was fully asleep this time before padding quietly out of her room.

----

"Tyler Bear," Maria chastised, "head to the side."

He half-smiled. "It's kind of hard to do with you wearing that." But he did what she said.

Maria giggled. They were in her dorm room and he was posing for one of her charcoal sketches. She sat on a chair wearing nothing but an overlarge button-up shirt that she used when painting. And the buttons were being put to poor use because only five of them were utilized; leaving a deep V-opening that stopped between her breasts.

It was difficult for her to concentrate, too. Tyler looked incredibly sexy propped up on his forearm with the beige sheet concealing nothing but his groin. His chest was smooth and defined, abdomen toned, tapering down to strong thigh muscles and sculpted calves.

While Maria continued to draw, Tyler stared out the window where the snow was falling. He thought about his birthday tomorrow. Eighteen. Ascending. It was palpable. Had been all week. The irritability, body aches, mood swings. The teas, candles, and incense Rowan had given him helped to take the edge off; it couldn't do anything to stave off his worries though.

"Ty?" Maria asked softly. "What's wrong?" Her brow was creased with concern.

"Nothing."

She didn't believe him. She put down her utensils and sat on the edge of the bed, facing him. "What're you worried about?"

Tyler bit his lip. "Tomorrow." He took her hand, couldn't resist tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear, letting his fingertips linger on her silky skin. "Listen, I don't want you to worry about anything, okay?"

"What would I have to worry about?"

"My Ascending. The Power."

Silence. Then, "You think I'll turn my back on you? Like Sarah and Kate did to Pogue and Caleb?"

It wasn't that he believed she would; just that it was a possibility. People could only take so much.

"I would _never_," she told him, as if she were reading his mind.

"And if I…can't control it?" he hesitated to ask, speaking aloud his own fears.

"You will."

"But if I _can't_?" His blue eyes were intense.

Maria felt his pain. "Listen, Rowan told me something, like, a long time ago after one of her grief counseling sessions; about falling back into a habit. Instead of always worrying that you will lose your grip, you should just always have faith that you _won't_." She smiled gently. "I mean, she said it like a lot better than me, but it applies here."

Tyler chuckled. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

----

Tyler's Ascension went fine and they went out to celebrate that Sunday night at Nicky's. Pogue moped the entire time, downing Coke after Coke, turning down offers of foosball and pool; propositions from hot girls in short skirts and tight tops. Then he went home and fell into bed with his feline companion, dreading the school day so much it took him hours to fall asleep.

And like last week, Pogue kept his head down at school on Monday.

"Dude, will you please snap out of it!" Reid exclaimed in the locker room. The blond was sick and tired of his friend's constant moping and hangdog face. "There are other chicks!"

Caleb glared at him.

"Shut up, Reid," Tyler said.

"No, I'm serious," Reid continued. "You got five numbers at Nicky's last night. Use one of 'em."

In the background, a derisive scoff broke in Reid's tirade. "Still having trouble with the ladies, Parry?" Aaron jabbed.

"Having trouble with the bottle, Abbot?" Caleb deadpanned.

"Why don't you get the flask that's in your locker and mind your damned business," Hunter added.

Pogue ignored all of this, continuing to get dressed in a zombie-like fashion. Not even Aaron's animosity could stir him. And it didn't get better when he bumped into Hope around the corner of the locker room.

"Pogue…" Her voice trailed off softly. Her eyes were rimmed with shadows.

He swallowed a jagged lump; she was still so beautiful to him. He couldn't say hi, couldn't say her name, he was just…frozen.

_Hi, Hope. How are you? I feel like shit. Shit like missing you and wanting you, and not being able to forget making love to you… Because I love you…_

"Oh, hey Hope," a sickeningly sweet voice greeted.

Both of them were broken out of their stupor by the sound of Kate's voice. She was walking down the hall with Sarah, smiling at Pogue and Hope. Pogue frowned, eyes shifting from Kate to Hope.

"Friends?" his voice was gruff. "Like to like, huh?" He stalked off.

Kate giggled and pulled Sarah along.

----

Rowan went home feeling lousy. A familiar creeping heat rising towards her head making her light headed and unbalanced. By five in the evening she had a temperature of 102, and by the middle of the night it had increased a degree. At four in the morning, Caleb was awoken by a frantic Ernie.

----

Rowan's eyes flickered open. Antiseptic smell, familiar odor of detergent. Hospital.

"Hi, sweetheart," Evelyn crooned.

"Mom?" Her voice ached.

"Sip slowly."

This was…odd. Rowan wasn't used to waking up in the hospital with her mom nearby, it was usually her brother. For a moment she thought this had to be a dream, but there was too much pain raving throughout her body for it to be so.

The cool water hit her throat like a balm. "Time?"

"Almost one," Evelyn answered. "They got your fever down, but it's still fluctuating."

"So I'm not leaving," Rowan stated.

Her mom smiled sympathetically. "Sorry, sweetie. Not until they say." As worried as she was about her daughter, Evelyn was glad that, for once, she could be here for Rowan, tending to her as a mother should; all those years Caleb had had to pick up the slack because of her drunkenness. Losing sleep, missing school. Well, no more of that.

"Who's feeding Ernie and Bruce Lee?" Rowan asked.

"They're right here."

Rowan turned her head to see Ernie curled up in his dog bed with the ferret. Ernie got free pass because of his therapy dog status. As for Bruce Lee… Hell, who could really turn down a Danvers request after the many donations her parents had made to the hospital? If they wanted to bring an iguana, no one would bat an eyelash.

A few minutes later the nurse came in and took her temperature. 101.2. Rowan managed to down some more fluids before dropping back off to sleep.

Next time she woke up Reid was next to her, and Ernie and Bruce Lee were gone.

"Wipe that look off your face," she rasped with a weak smile.

He chuckled tiredly. Kissed her on the forehead, felt the heat hit his like a blast of hot steam. "How're you feeling?"

"Okay. Stupid fever. I had mine already. But I figured out what it's about." She licked her lips. "See, it's Hope and Pogue."

Reid didn't say anything for a moment. She had a glazed look in her eyes though she was speaking clearly enough.

"This isn't my fever talking," she insisted.

"Okay," he said, unsure.

Rowan chose to ignore his dubiety. "Listen, when they get back together, I'll be able to leave the hospital."

"What would their fight have to do with this?"

"It's the energy. They're unhappy, and I was right there when the rift began. I started feeling sick right after."

"Maybe it was the cold," he argued. "You know it gets in your lungs."

"No." She coughed. "Water." He helped her drink. "Thanks. Anyway, that's why this stupid thing is going up and down. Because Hope and Pogue can't make up their minds. Their emotions are all over the place."

Reid wasn't usually one for dismissing Rowan's theories but…

"Don't look at me like that," she exclaimed. "If I didn't have a fever you'd be taking me seriously."

"I am!"

"You are _not_, damn it." Her cheeks turned a deeper crimson with her upset. "Fine, just ignore me. You're no help."

"All right, all right," he capitulated, not wanting to get her further riled up. Rowan in a tizzy with a fever was not pretty. Last thing he wanted was the staff to come in and tranq her, strap her to the bed, and kick him out. Well, maybe not the first two, but definitely the latter.

"Ach, don't patronize me. Just get Pogue in here so I can talk to him. And bring Bubbe."

----

Maria Velasquez walked determinedly to Hope Lassiter's dorm room. She felt for the girl, she really did. It was so obvious Hope was in love with Pogue, and Pogue was in love with Hope; yet the two of them were having a difficult time finding some courage to admit it. Certainly Maria felt lied to on Tyler's behalf, but given time to think about Hope's actions she had to concede that it was merely fear that consumed Hope, and she had not come here to hurt them.

Hope's door opened a moment after Maria knocked.

"Hi," Hope said, surprised.

Maria smiled. "Can I come in?"

She blinked, taken aback. "Yeah…sure."

It took a few seconds for Maria to digest what she was seeing. Boxes were out and things were piled within them.

"Are you moving to a different room?" Maria asked. "I don't blame you, being so close to Kate's dorm and all."

"Not…exactly."

"Exactly what?"

Hope sighed, ran her fingers through her hair. "This is my last week. I'm going back home Friday." The word _home_ stuck in her craw. Living with Aunt Evangeline didn't feel like home; being with Pogue had been home to her.

"What?" Maria screeched. "You can't!"

Brow high, Hope was struck silent.

"I mean," she corrected herself. "You, like, can't just give up!"

"Give up?" Hope played stupid.

Maria scoffed, planted her fists on her hips. "You know what I'm talking about, silly. Giving up on Pogue! You can't! You guys are like _so_ made for each other."

Hope smirked ruefully. "That's…well, I don't know what to say to that."

"Say you'll stay and be with him," she insisted.

"Look, Maria, it's over with, all right? I screwed up, so I'm leaving."

Maria narrowed her eyes. Not buying this act. So she said what she had originally come here to say; and Maria was convinced that the tactic would work. She and Rowan were counting on it.

"Well, the _least_ you could do then is visit Rowan before you leave."

"I don't think that's such a good idea." _As much as I like Rowan,_ she thought. Her brothers and Reid might not appreciate that too much.

"But she's in the hospital!"

"She is? Why? Is she okay?"

Maria, inside, smiled triumphantly. "It's a fever getting like totally worse and worse. The doctors say she has to stay there until it goes down."

Hope worried her bottom lip. "Does she want to see me?"

"Duh, silly! Your name is on the visitor's list."

----

_What the hell is Hope's name doing on the list?_ Pogue wondered as he went to Rowan's hospital room. Bubbe was tucked in her carrier, the feline obviously knew she going to see Rowan because she was calm.

He was no stranger to seeing Rowan in the hospital, but the familiarity never stopped his throat from tightening up seeing his little sister sick like this.

"Hey, Lil Bit," he said quietly as he walked in the room.

"Pogue." She smiled wanly.

"Mrs. D," he said. Pogue said hi to Caleb and they did their hand-shake thing.

"Hi, dear. How are your parents?" Evelyn asked.

He half-shrugged. "Good. Somewhere over the Bermuda Triangle right now."

Evelyn laughed. "I'll leave you two alone." She kissed her daughter on the forehead and left them to talk.

"There's this new doctor here. He keeps checking Mom out," she said gleefully.

"Rowan!" Caleb chastised. "I'll take it that's the fever talking."

She snorted, then it turned into a sharp cough. "I got to talk to Pogue, Cay. You have to go and call Judy."

"I can talk to her later," her brother said.

Rowan frowned. "I want you to call Judy. She's a keeper, duh."

Caleb chuckled. "I know she is."

Pogue let Bubbe out of her carrier and the orange tabby cat when straight to Rowan's waiting arms. He pulled up a chair close to the bed.

"Jeez, Pogue, haven't you been sleeping?"

"Yeah."

Pause. "Bubbe tells me otherwise."

The cat's eyes landed on Pogue with an almost human-like perception. Likewise, the human glared back at her.

"I saw Hope's name on the visitor's list," he blurted.

"I suspect so."

"Why? She didn't come here did she?"

"No…"

"Because she has no right to be here."

"Well, that's what I wanted to talk to you about," Rowan ventured, not letting his acrimony deter her. "Listen, I know why I'm sick. This up and down temp stuff."

He nodded slowly. "Okay…"

Rowan could see this was going to be a hard sell. Her brother hadn't taken her completely serious; the only one who had was Maria. But, once again, Rowan reiterated her theory to Pogue.

"You see? All you guys have to do is-"

"It's not going to happen," Pogue interrupted. "She's a liar and a user," he said, using the exact words he had with Hope.

"Why are you being so hard-headed?" Rowan demanded. "She didn't come here to 'use' us. She came here for help."

"Then why didn't she just come out and say so?" he retorted.

"Because she's not used to asking strangers for help! I don't expect you to understand. You've always, _all _your life, been surrounded by people who love you, and will have your back no matter what; people you trust. Hope hasn't had that since she was ten years old. Her aunt is a flake, her brother is a selfish dolt – she was forced to come here on an errand she didn't believe in in the first place. And then, the unexpected happened. She found people she fit in with. She found a guy who got her, who brought out feelings that she didn't even know she had." Damn, she was getting winded already and her head was pounding.

Pogue sighed.

"Her life was so void of stability and trustables that she had to come to a strange town, and ask strange people for support."

He was looking away, out the window where snow was falling.

"And you fell in love with her," Rowan went on. "I bet she hasn't felt the love of someone since her parents died."

It was quiet for a while, Rowan let her words sink in while she cuddled with Bubbe.

"Doesn't excuse her lying," he mumbled finally.

"Are you kidding me?" Rowan said slowly and deliberately, an edge to her voice. "Did you hear a damned word I said-"

And Pogue knew what was about to come out of her mouth. "Don't-"

"-_Pogue_-"

"Don't say it!"

"- _Eugene Parry_?" Her voice rose to a grating pitch.

Mortified, his eye darted to the partially opened door to make sure no one heard. "Jesus Christ, Lil Bit! Someone could hear you!"

But she was unrepentant as Bubbe purred melodiously on her chest. Pogue's face was red with both indignation and embarrassment. _Eugene_. Damn, what were his parents thinking when they dubbed that as his middle name? Beatrice and Wayne Parry had done everything else right by their son, except for that middle name.

"Is everything all right in here?" A nurse with a stern face stood in the doorway.

"He's being stubborn," Rowan complained.

The nurse mugged Pogue like he was a villain. "Need I remind you that there are other sickly people in the vicinity young man?"

"No…" Pogue said.

"Good then." The nurse turned sharply on her orthopedic shoes.

He turned his attention back to Rowan like a castigated child. "Was that necessary?"

"I think so." But his ire dissipated when she began to cough again. He helped her with some water, seeing that the effort to raise her head from the pillow was a difficult one.

"We can talk about this later, Lil Bit," he said, with no intention of talking about it again. "You need to rest, okay?"

"Why're you so scared, Pogue?" she inquired gently.

"I'm not scared," he denied.

Golden-brow eyes peered at him deeply. "You sure? Because it's okay to be scared. Getting hurt like you did-"

"It has nothing to do with that," he interjected firmly.

"Then why? You're taking Hope's mistake harder than Kate's betrayal." Silence. "I bet it's that in the two years you were with Kate, you never once felt the, excuse the cliché, completeness you felt with Hope in a few weeks."

"You're right. That is a cliché."

"But an apt one. I see your auras when you're together. And there's clear fusion. Like Tyler and Dizzy; Caleb and Judy; Gabe and Hunter."

He pulled a contemplative face, though there was no sign of him giving in.

"Here," Rowan said. She pulled a snapshot out from under her pillow. "I had Dizzy get this for me."

He took it. It was a candid photo of him and Hope one night at Nicky's. Both mid-laughter; he couldn't remember what they were laughing about because they laughed so much when they were together. He ran his hand down his grizzled face.

Pogue saw that the visit had tired Rowan. She kissed Bubbe goodbye and the cat was put back into her carrier.

"I love you, Pogue," she told him before he left. "I just want you to be happy."

He nodded. "I know. Love you, too, Lil Bit."

And that night while he looked at the photo of him and Hope, he thought, _Damn it, Hope. What did you do to me?_

_

* * *

_

**Thus, Pogue's middle name is revealed. :)**

**Sorry for the wait, school has been keeping me busy, but I wanted to get a chapter up.**

**Thanks for sticking with me here. Love to know what you guys think.**_  
_


	24. Collide

**XXIV. Collide**

_I'm open, you're closed__  
Where I follow, you'll go  
I've found I'm scared to know  
I'm always on your mind  
Even the best fall down sometimes  
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme  
Out of the doubt that fills my mind  
__I somehow find you and I collide  
-Howie Day_

Wednesday morning Reid woke up, called Caleb – he couldn't call the hospital for an update on Rowan's condition because, technically, he "wasn't family" – to see how Rowan was doing. When he told her that her fever had spiked then gone down, and was now steady; the blond thought that there might be something to what his girlfriend had been saying the previous day. Usually Rowan getting ill didn't last this long. A couple of days, then it was just about regaining her strength. But this up and down shit was ridiculous. And if Pogue and Hope's little spat was the cause…

"Hey, wake up!" Reid jerked Tyler in his bed.

The younger boy mumbled. "What?" Seeing Reid awake before him, he shot up in bed. "What is it? Is Row okay?"

"Yeah, yeah," Reid said. Sighed. "Kind of. The same."

The air went out of Tyler. "Don't do that." He rubbed his eyes.

"Sorry, Baby Boy." He sat down on his bed. "Listen up."

Disgruntled, Tyler sat up in bed, grunted, "This better be good."

"Whatever. You know what Rowan was saying about Pogue and Hope making her sick?"

"Yeah…"

"Fine, if that's the reason, then we just have to get Pogue and Hope to make up."

Tyler was silent as he peered speculatively at Reid. "I thought you didn't buy that."

He shrugged. "Whatever works. I want her out of the hospital. And if it gets her better…"

The brunette nodded. "Okay." Then, "But Hope's leaving school this Friday."

"What?!" Reid exclaimed.

"Yeah, I didn't tell you? When Dizzy went to her room yesterday, Hope was packing up."

"Son of a bitch," Reid spat. "Why didn't you say something?"

"I just did!"

Reid cursed under his breath. "Fine. We'll just do some heavy damage control." But his reproving glare didn't leave Tyler's face, as if the younger boy had committed a major faux pas. He got up and began to pace back and forth in a contemplative manner. "But if Dizzy knows, then Super Bitch" – his new name for Kate – "probably knows. And she'll tell Pogue."

"Why's is so important that she not tell?"

"Come on, Baby Boy, keep up! Do I have to do everything?"

Tyler rolled his eyes. "Put a mute spell on her or something."

He perked up. "That's good."

"_No_." He shook his head. "I wasn't serious." Reid was already beginning to smile deviously. "Dude, your spells always go wrong. I don't like Kate, but knowing you, you'll probably unintentionally give her adenocarcinoma or something."

The blond stared, nonplussed. "English, Dr. House."

"Esophageal cancer," Tyler said. Still seeing the blank look on Reid's face, he broke it down some more, "_Throat_ cancer."

"Oh." Then, "There're cures for that," Reid argued.

Tyler said nothing; it was his turn to give the censuring glare.

"All right, all right," Reid ceded. "But someone has to shut her up."

----

Next to Rowan, Caleb cast the most accurate spells. So the two boys quickly dressed, then went over to Caleb's house to flip through Rowan's Book of Shadows. Tyler explained the plan, and after thorough consideration, the eldest Son agreed. By eight, Caleb found a decent, benign spell and went about enacting it.

Meanwhile, Maria was doing her part. When Tyler called her early, she was immediately game for it. And while her boyfriend was doing witchy stuff, Maria was knocking enthusiastically on Hope's door. The latter wasn't ready, and was obviously stunned to see Maria.

"Good morning!" Maria chimed. She held two coffees and a bag of donuts. She wisped passed Hope without being invited.

"Um…morning," Hope replied. She never knew anyone who was this chipper in the morning. Maria was humming and laying out the breakfast on Hope's desk.

"Breakfast of champions!"

"Thanks."

"No problem," Maria grinned. "So, are you going to see Rowan today?" she asked as she nibbled on a donut.

Pause. "If I can," Hope replied, walking into the bathroom to wash her face. "I still have a lot of packing to do."

"I can help," she offered. "Rowan is asking for you personally."

She came back out of the bathroom, patting her face with a washcloth. "Does she know I'm leaving?"

"I…haven't told her. You can when you go today."

There was obviously no getting out of this, Hope figured.

Seeing her discomfited expression, Maria wondered if Hope was malingering about visiting Rowan because of some other reason than Pogue. "Are you afraid of hospitals or something? Did someone you know die there?" Always blunt, she was.

"No."

Maria tipped her head to the side. "Hmm. Well, okay, I'll go with you if you want. But Row will want to talk to you alone." She held out the bag. "Donut?"

When it was time for class, Maria threaded her arm through Hope's as they walked to class. She tugged the still befuddled girl in the row right in front of Pogue where he was sitting between Caleb and Reid, with Tyler on Reid's left; Hunter on Caleb's right. Pogue shot daggers at his companions, like they were hemming him in to deal with feral cats.

Pinkie was merely informed that they were trying to get Pogue and Hope to reconcile; and he was always up for playing matchmaker, so he was the other bookend on Hope's side, smushing her between two very colorful personalities.

"What's going on?" Pogue muttered to Caleb.

Caleb glanced innocently at Pogue, shrugged. "Nothing."

"You could never lie to me," he replied. He turned to the blond. "What the hell are you doing?"

Reid made no pretense at discretion as to their motives. "We're busting Row out of the hospital. Quit being selfish."

"I'm not being selfish!"

"Mr. Parry, is there something you would care to share with the entire classroom?" the teacher asked.

"No, sir," Pogue bit out.

And in the locker room later that day, Pogue asked, "Did you know Hope's name was on the visitor's list at the hospital?"

He nodded. "Row wanted it on there."

"See, he can't stop thinking about her," Reid commented.

"Do you shut up?" Pogue snapped.

"'Course he doesn't," Hunter said. "You're bringing Bubbe to see Rowan today right?" He mentioned the time; which coincided with Hope's visit, they were bound to run into each other; as planned.

"Yeah," Pogue said.

"Hey, Caleb," Brody called out, interrupting the flow of their conversation, "why's your sister in the hospital again? She get a case of fleas?"

There was a collection of snickering. Reid didn't let Hunter have the pleasure of smacking Brody this time. He shoved him into the locker with his forearm locked against his throat without give. Oddly, Aaron did nothing defend his comrade.

"Abbot not here to back you up?" Reid sneered.

Brody wretched, tried to get the blond to let go.

"I do believe Aaron went to House of Lords to visit Old Mr. Boston," Pinkie mused.

Reid laughed, let Brody go, the latter falling to the floor, clutching his reddened throat.

----

Hope couldn't remember the last time she'd been in a hospital. She hadn't been lying to Maria when she said that hospitals didn't bother her; didn't necessarily mean she enjoyed visiting them though. Who did? Maria escorted Hope to Rowan's room.

"Hi, sweetie!" Maria greeted. "I got that thing," she whispered, handing Rowan a green drawstring bag.

"Thanks, Diz," Rowan replied.

"Okay, I'll leave you two." Maria gave Rowan a discreet thumbs-up for encouragement before exiting the room.

Hope hadn't expected Rowan to look this sickly; washed out, wan, tiny in the hospital bed with an IV hookup. The lamp in the room provided some dim lighting; the sun was already fading outside amidst a flurry of snowflakes.

"Finally, you got here," Rowan said. "Sit down." She waved weakly for Hope to pull up a chair. "It's not as bad as it looks." She knew it always put people off, seeing her like this all clad in hospital décor.

Hope chuckled faintly, sat down. "Um…how're you feeling?" _Stupid question, you idiot._

"Definitely been better. I'm glad you came to see me."

She nodded. "Sure."

They were quiet for a moment. Hope became uncomfortable under Rowan's unwavering stare. Or maybe she was discomfited because this was the first time she was seeing Rowan sick. Pogue had talked a little about it; how he never really got used to it, seeing her health deteriorate, sometimes with no warning; but he just had to keep himself sane by telling himself that Rowan would be okay.

"How've you been?" Rowan finally asked.

"All right, I guess." _I should probably tell her now._ "Actually, Friday's my last day at Spenser."

Quiet. Rowan clenched the small bag in her hand. "Why?"

"Well, I came here to help Justice, and…"

"He's helped," Rowan finished blandly.

"Yeah."

"And Pogue? What about him?"

Hope sighed, averted her eyes regretfully. "Pogue and I… He's not going to forgive me. And I don't blame him."

"He will. He just needs time. Pogue's being stubborn right now."

"I don't know what else I can say to him."

"Tell him you love him. You do, don't you?"

Outside the room Hope could hear beeps, and clacking of keyboards, the wheels of IVs passing across the floor. Then, Rowan's sigh.

"I have something for you." Her small hands undid the drawstring bag and took out a pewter medal on a chain; which she handed to Hope.

She held it in her palm, looked at the medal. It had an engraving of a woman and St. Rita of Cascia etched around the bevel of the pendant.

"She's the patron saint of hopeless causes," Rowan said.

Hope smiled. "This is…really nice…but I'm not Catholic."

Rowan chuckled hoarsely. "So? You think patron saints got canonized and beautified for turning people away? You don't have to be Catholic to appreciate what these people did. Like you don't need to be African American to appreciate Martin Luther King Jr., you know?"

Hope nodded.

"You don't know St. Rita's story?" When Hope shook her head, Rowan went on, "She wanted a religious life since she was young, but was betrothed at age twelve, and married to an abusive man at eighteen. She had twin boys, and her husband was murdered later on. After, she still wanted to join the monastery, but the sisters wouldn't let her because she was a widow, and there was a requirement that she be a virgin." She paused, took a breath. "Then they finally gave her a task to do if she wanted to join – Rita had to reconcile her two sons with their father's murderers."

Rowan stopped talking, which prompted Hope to ask, "Did she? Solve the conflict?"

She grinned tiredly. "You're holding her pendant, aren't you?" Rowan hoped that Hope – no pun intended – was seeing the subtle parallel of St. Rita's life and hers. St. Rita was made to enter a marriage she didn't want when her heart was elsewhere; but she did as her parents wanted; then when her husband died; Rita never forgot her dream to enter a religious life; and she didn't give up when she was initially spurned because of her widowhood.

Hope was thrown into a life she wouldn't have dreamed for herself, parentless and stuck with an increasingly selfish brother and absent aunt. Her aunt sent her on this bunk mission to Ipswich to save her brother even though Hope didn't believe in it. And now that her ball and chain was gone, Hope could have the life she wanted for herself, to be with someone who she could trust and love – Pogue.

But Hope didn't have the faith that St. Rita had.

"I guess this is supposed to be a hint to me, huh?"

Rowan shrugged. "Something to think about. That's all."

----

Tyler and Maria were in the waiting room when Pogue came in with Bubbe.

"Hey," Tyler greeted.

"Hey," Pogue replied. He gently set Bubbe's carrier on the floor. He sighed, leaned back in his chair, pinched the area between his eyes.

"Oh, do you have a headache, sweetie?" Maria instantly asked. She began ruffling through her purse. "Ty gets headaches, too. I don't have any Tylenol or Advil, but I think I have…" – she rummaged some more – "Oh! Here! I have a Midol. That should hold you over."

The few other people in the room snickered; Tyler, too.

Pogue's cheeks were red. "No, I'm cool, Diz, really."

"Are you sure?" she persisted. "It's the Midol with ibuprofen in it."

"I'm fine."

"Okay…"

Tyler said he had to use the restroom. After a few moments Maria said, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you."

He chuckled. "You're practically family, so I guess it's your prerogative." When she didn't answer right away, he turned his head to look at her.

Maria's eyes were wide, lips pursed, trying to hide the quiver of her lower lip.

"What'd I say?" Pogue asked.

"You said…" Maria squeaked.

"What's wrong?" Tyler demanded when he came back. "Diz?"

"Pogue… – hiccough – "said…"

Tyler glared at Pogue.

"I didn't say anything!" Pogue defended.

"He said…he said…I was…_family_." The dam burst, and Maria cried on Tyler's shoulder.

"It's official," Pogue declared. "I don't get the female sex. I really don't."

A guy who was sitting across from Pogue with his nose in a magazine said, "Amen to that."

----

Hope left Rowan after about twenty minutes when she began to drift off. The nurse had come in to take her temperature and frowned when it still read above normal. As she walked back towards the waiting room she fingered the St. Rita pendant that was in her jacket pocket. Thinking…

"Oh, shit, sorry," a guy uttered when he almost ran into her.

"Pogue," she said.

The amiability left his face. "What are you doing here?"

"I came with Maria and Tyler."

Silence. "Did you now?"

She chuckled uncomfortably. "How much do you bet that this was a set up?"

He snorted. "I think the set up was just the time. Row did want to see…you." He trailed off, realizing that he didn't have that anger when talking to her.

"She fell asleep," Hope told him. "The nurse said she still had a fever."

Pogue nodded. Bubbe meowed in her carrier. "I guess I should at least let Bubbe see her though."

Hope inhaled his familiar scent when he brushed passed her; stirring up all kinds of memories. Memories that she fell asleep to later that night.

----

Reid decided to cut school early Thursday. Pogue and Hope were still unreconciled, despite their machinations, and he was beginning to get truly frustrated. He said hi to the nurses and hospital staff on his way in; and was surprised to find Mrs. Danvers in Rowan's room. Seeing Evelyn Danvers lucid and sober during the day was still new to Reid; even more when she was looking after Rowan.

"Reid," Evelyn greeted. "Don't you have school?" There was a touch of censure in her tone.

"Uh…yeah." He rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably, flicked his eyes at a sleeping Rowan. "I just wanted to…"

Her brow was arched knowingly. "Of course." Ernie and Bruce Lee perked up at the voices and scuttled over to Reid for hellos.

He picked up the ferret, and scratched the dog behind his ears. "Hey, guys."

Evelyn squeezed her daughter's hand before getting up from her chair. She knew Reid and Rowan were a "serious" couple, as much as young people could be these days. Secretly, deeply, she had hoped that her daughter would not get involved with someone prone to addiction. She always thought Reid reckless and irresponsible, although she could plainly see he cared for Rowan. But what of five years from now? Or ten? Would his Power wear on him until he used and used to his heart's content? Evelyn did not want her daughter to have a life like that. Possibly with the onset of college, and the likelihood of the two of them seeing less of one another; perhaps that would bring about an amicable separation and her daughter could find someone more stable for her future.

"I think I'll go get some coffee," she said.

Reid nodded, didn't sit down until she was out of the room. He held Rowan's hand which was hot and clammy. A few seconds later her eyelids shuttered, then opened. It must have been their blood bond.

"Hey, beautiful," he said.

_Don't flatter me._

Reid laughed. "I like that."

She cleared her throat. "How long…"

"Just a few minutes," Reid answered. "Your mom went for coffee."

"Hmm." Bruce Lee gently settled on her chest, but she was too weak to lift her arm to pet him. "Pogue?"

He snorted. "They're still being assholes."

"He's…not happy."

Reid tucked her hair behind her ear. "I know. I think all the balls are in their court now though."

"Guess so."

Before she drifted off, he said, "I didn't tell you I love you today."

A smile curved her lips. _Love you, too._

----

It was ten in the evening, Reid couldn't concentrate on his homework in front of him, but Tyler was almost finished. The blond figured he'd have to pilfer Baby Boy's paper later on. At ten-thirty Reid said he was going for a walk; his feet taking him to the girls' dorm, then in front of Hope's room.

Reid knocked.

Hope's eyes widened momentarily when she opened the door. "Uh, hi…Reid."

"Hi," he uttered. "You might want to invite me in while no one's around to see."

She couldn't fathom as to why Reid Garwin wanted to come into her dorm room, but she didn't argue his logic. Not that it mattered, really, she was leaving tomorrow. Hope stepped aside, closed the door behind him.

"So, still leaving," he opined, stare roving around the room.

"Yup."

He rocked on his heels, hands in pockets. The picture of casualness, he was. "I have a question for you," he spoke sharply, the thought coming to him suddenly. "Why is it that you came all the way here to help your brother when you didn't want to, but you're giving up so easily on Pogue when you _do_ want him?"

Hope startled.

Blue eyes rolled. "Yeah, Reid Garwin is capable of deep thinking every now and then," he smirked.

She chuckled wryly. "Jesus, you guys don't give up."

He shrugged. "It's part of our charm. Pogue's miserable. My girlfriend's sick because he's miserable. You figure it out."

"I'm surprised you're pushing this. You've done nothing but shoot daggers at me since that Saturday."

"I'm ill-tempered," he replied bluntly. "Ask anyone."

"So…you don't hate me?"

"There's no hate. I just don't like people screwing with my family. And after careful consideration, I figured that that wasn't your…intention."

"Who convinced you of that?" she asked.

"Doesn't matter."

Rowan, she figured. "Yeah, well, no offense, but it doesn't change anything." To prove her point, she taped up an open box.

"You're scared."

That made her stop. "What?"

"You're scared," Reid repeated, somewhat accusatorily.

"I'm not afraid of anything."

"Bullshit," he drawled. "What're you running for then?"

"I am not running."

"Gave up pretty quick, now you're leaving. That's running," he shot back, getting in her space. "Can't take any chances, can you?"

"What the hell is your problem?" she demanded.

"You."

"Then leave."

He scoffed. "Yeah, 'leave.' That's a familiar action for you, huh?"

Hope's cheeks turned red. She did not want to get riled up right now. Things would be fine, she would go back to normal once she was out of Ipswich.

"You mad now?" he prodded, his head tipped to the side, eyes and lips mocking.

"Oh, go piss up a rope," she spat.

Reid laughed. "Finally, a reaction." He always knew he was good at hitting peoples' sore spots. You could just ask Caleb. Obviously directly questioning Hope's reasons for bolting was a touchy area. "Things get complicated and you're out."

She said something then in some foreign language.

"Was that Korean for 'fuck you' or something?"

"Dick head," she answered.

He smiled. "It's great how some things are just universal."

Hope couldn't help but laugh a little. Sharing the mirth simmered the two of them down.

He asked, "Do you love Pogue?"

The quiet set in. She had never said so aloud. So she didn't know why it happened now. "Yeah."

Reid shifted from one foot to another, contemplating something, face becoming contorted in discomfort. Then he sighed sharply, opened the door, looked back and forth, then shut it, locked it; which put Hope on edge.

"Listen, I know how you feel; so, you and me, we're going to have a moment.." His face looked like he was sucking on a lemon.

"You know how I feel?"

"Yeah. You know, being scared to…take a chance." His eyes jumped here and there, hands fisted then relaxed as he paced. "I was scared shitless when I told Row I was in love with her."

Her brow rose.

He nodded. "I was. Because, hell, I know I'm not perfect. Her first two boyfriends were the molds for perfect boyfriends, ya know? First Hunter, then Abel."

"Abel?"

Reid gave her an abbreviated version of who Abel was, werewolf included. "So, she was heartbroken when he left. It was some eight months later I told her how I felt. Me, a guy with no serious relationships, just a string of chicks who I still have a hard time remembering. And I knew no one would trust me with her. Especially Caleb. He gave me tons of shit."

"Why would you be scared about telling Rowan you love her? Shouldn't it have been her to be scared to take a chance on you?"

"I wasn't scared to take a chance on _her_. I was scared that everything I'd done _before_ her would ruin anything I could have with her in the future." He paused, exhaled. _Damn these heart-to-hearts. How do females stand it?_

Hope was sitting on her bed now, staring at her laced fingers on her lap. "Rowan is…everything to you, isn't she?"

"Yeah, she is."

"How do you deal with… How can you stand the feeling of loving someone that _much_? Doesn't it make you crazy?" _How do you sleep? How do you eat?_

Silence. "I guess…" He scratched his head. _Shit._ "I guess because I know she loves me just as much."

"And what if it doesn't work out?" she questioned.

"I don't think about that."

She peered at him. "What if it _doesn't_? Nothing's perfect."

He grunted. "Well…if it…didn't, it wouldn't be because we didn't try. And you're not supposed to constantly think 'what if it doesn't work out.' You be with the person anyway. That's when having balls of steel come in. Something you and Pogue seriously need to grow, by the way."

Obviously "the moment" was over, because he was back to his smartass self. He needed to wash away the residue of the tender, poignant moment with some good expletives and derogatory comments. Maybe he should call Pogue and cuss him out, or maybe send him a text message on what a ball-less pussy he was.

"So you think about that," he ordered. "What time do you leave?"

"Eleven-thirty."

Reid nodded. "Fine." He unlocked the door, peeked out again. Before leaving, he said to her, "Do not say a word about this to anyone. I'll never live it down."

----

Pogue woke up Friday morning feeling positive vibes going through him. It was the first time in over a week when he looked forward to going to school; didn't dread seeing Hope, because today, he wanted to see her. Just the previous day he'd shared a polite smile with her, and after a lot of thinking he figured he was able to forgive her. And then maybe she could forgive him for acting like such an ass. The way he treated her shamed him.

Bubbe meowed, letting him know that she wanted her breakfast.

"All right, I hear you," he said, scratching the feline behind her ears.

Both left the room, Bubbe used her litter box while Pogue got her food ready.

"Sleep well?" Hunter asked when he walked into the kitchen.

Pogue shrugged with a half-grin. "Guess so."

He watched his roommate go back to his room, a tad bewildered. "What's going on with him, Bubbe?" Hunter asked.

The cat merely meowed.

A half-hour later they were both ready for school. Pogue went to first period, eyes immediately roaming the room for Hope. But she wasn't there. He didn't see her in the halls either.

"Who're you looking for?" Caleb asked.

He shook his head.

"Looking for Hope?" Maria inquired, smiling. "It's not too late, you know."

"Too late for what?" Pogue questioned.

"Her train leaves at eleven-thirty," Reid told him.

"What do you mean, her train?" Pogue demanded.

"Uh…yesterday was her last day at Spenser. She's leaving for home today," Caleb said.

"And no one told me?"

They all shrugged.

"Didn't think you'd care," Reid said casually. "Do you?"

Pogue cursed. "What time is it?"

"Ten-forty-five," Hunter said.

"Shit," Pogue hissed. He could ride fast, but in this weather… "I need to get to her."

Maria squealed happily, jumped up and down and clapped her hands. "This is so exciting! Like a movie! He's going to go to the train station and catch her at the very last second."

"Took you long enough!" Reid called out to Pogue as he sped down the hall.

----

Hope's feet practically dragged on the ground as she made way to her train. It was crowded, but had the quiet lull of morning. The announcements on the PA system created static in her brain.

_Should I go back?_ she thought for the thousandth time.

It wasn't too late. Did Pogue even know she was leaving? Would he miss her? Because she sure missed him already. If she was pressed to admit it; Hope would have to admit that she hadn't tried very hard to get Pogue back. To earn his forgiveness. Reid was right. She was scared. But she wasn't like Reid and Rowan; Tyler and Maria; Caleb and Judy. Hope did not take chances like that. Letting someone, _giving_ someone, complete control of your heart.

Hope shook off her second-thoughts, grabbed in her pocket for her train ticket. Instead her fingers touched the pendant Rowan had given her.

She looked at the etching of St. Rita of Cascia. Who could bear all that faith and the possibility of disappointment? Faith wasn't even an insurance policy, it was a trump card; a bluff.

"I can bluff," she said.

"Pardon?"

Hope nearly jumped. "Oh, nothing, sorry."

"Are you in line?" someone asked.

Pause. "No. I'm not."

Hope took her suitcase and hauled ass through the crowd. She had to get back to Spenser.

----

Pogue ran into the station, his motorcycle helmet still in hand. It was 11:23. He didn't even know what platform she was on.

He went to information.

"Excuse me, what train is leaving at eleven-thirty?" he demanded.

The woman behind the counter merely glared at him for a moment. "Do you have a specific train, sir?"

"No," he replied shortly. "I don't know what train she's on!"

"There's no reason to yell-"

"I'm not yelling!"

The woman sighed. "Please keep your voice down, sir."

"Listen, lady," he cut her off. "The girl I love is leaving on a train at eleven-thirty, and I need to get to her."

"Is this a joke?" she inquired dryly.

"What? No!" He nearly growled.

"What's the problem here?" A man came up behind the woman.

The woman's lips were pursed. "This young man claims that the girl he loves is on an eleven-thirty train."

"Are you going to give me the train numbers or not?" Pogue said.

"Keep your voice down sir," the man placated.

People were beginning to stare now.

"Can you make an announcement, at least?" Pogue was desperate. "Her name is Hope Lassiter. Tell her Pogue is here."

"I can't do that, sir," the man said.

"Why not?" _Were these people freaking serious?_ "Look, I'll give you a hundred bucks to make the damned announcement."

"Are you bribing us, sir?"

"I'll scream it out loud for a C-note," someone exclaimed. "What's the chick's name?"

"Hope," Pogue said.

"HOPE!" the young man yelled. "Last name?"

"You are creating a scene," the man said.

"Her last name's Lassiter," Pogue told the younger one.

"HOPE LASSITER!"

"Sir, stop!" the woman ordered.

"HOPE LASSITER!" the young man bellowed.

"Hope! Hope!" a young child chimed in.

"Shh!" the parent said.

"HOPE LASSITER!"

"Get security," the woman uttered.

----

Hope was almost out of the station when she thought she heard her name. She stopped, listened; heard nothing. She took a step, heard it again.

"HOPE LASSITER!"

It didn't sound like Pogue. Her eyes darted around, her entire body doing a three-sixty.

"HOPE LASSITER!"

Hope followed the voice. There was a small crowd forming, security was getting involved, parents were trying to shush their children and…

"Pogue?"

His blue eyes met hers.

"Hope!" He ran towards her. "Christ, I thought I was going to miss you."

"Sir, you'll have to come with us," a security guy said.

"Back off," Pogue snapped. He tugged Hope away a few feet, his breathing was hard. "I…"

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I had to get to you. Don't leave."

Silence.

"I love you," they both said at the same time.

Then they laughed.

"You do?" they said again.

"I'm sorry I didn't say so before," Hope exclaimed.

"I was an ass, I don't blame you. And between you and me, I was scared, too," he told her.

Hope felt hot tears film over her eyes. Damn it. "Me, too."

"I don't want to hurt you, Hope."

"I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I know."

Pogue wiped her tears away with the pads of his thumbs.

"Sir?" the security guard chimed in.

"Shove off, rent-a-cop!" the man who had yelled for Pogue said. "Can't you see they're having a moment?"

"I love you," Pogue said quietly, and he kissed her.

Around them, people began to applaud, whoop and whistle.

----

"Oh, your fever is down, dear," the nurse said to Rowan with a grin. "A good 99.2."

Rowan smiled. "Great. When can I leave?"

* * *

**And so they are together now. :D**

**Their reconciliation was meant to be a bit tongue-in-cheek. Like a teen movie. **

**Thanks as always for reading. Much appreciated. :)  
**


	25. Good Day

**XXV. Good Day**

_Good day doesn't have to be a Friday  
Doesn't need to be your birthday  
The next one then you won't survive  
Sing along hold my life  
A good day is any day that you're alive  
Yes, a good day is any day that you're alive  
-Paul Westerberg_

Things felt more balanced with Rowan back at school. After getting out of the hospital on Sunday she was strong enough to return to Spenser the following Wednesday. And with Pogue and Hope fully reconciled, their group's harmony was back to rights. Hunter stayed over at Rowan's place for a few days to let Pogue and Hope have some alone time at the apartment. Bubbe was back with Ernie, Bruce Lee, Mo and Bo, the tropical fish that resided in Rowan's sanctum sanctorum.

"Yay, you're back!" Maria exclaimed upon seeing Rowan Wednesday morning.

Pinkie sniffled. "It's just not the same without you."

Rowan smiled in the sandwich-hug Maria and Pinkie had her in. "I'm glad to be back, too."

"That's right," Reid interjected. He made a shooing motion with his hand to get them out of his way. The blond put his arm around his girlfriend's shoulders. "You got to take it easy still, though," he reminded her.

She rolled her eyes. "Because I haven't been told enough." The fever may have gone, but the long bout still had its after effects on her body. "I think my mom and Cay told me a total of ten times."

"Just making sure you heard, Row," Tyler said. "We know how you are."

Rowan pursed her lips. They made their way through the halls to first period.

"So anytime you want to go to the dorms and…rest," Reid said quietly in her ear.

"I thought you said I needed to take it easy?" she inquired coyly.

He smiled. "Well…"

"You're still cut off for two months, Reid," Rowan told him.

"Ah, come on! You weren't serious!" She wasn't grinning. "No…you were just joking…right?"

Rowan shrugged. "Come on, we have to get to class."

"But…" Reid protested. "Me and Hope are cool now, so what I said before doesn't count."

Rowan stopped, stood on her tip-toes and kissed him briefly, but firmly, on the mouth. The act was rewarded with some whoops and hollers from passersby. It sufficed to shut Reid up for the time being; and was also enough to cause his mind to roam the entire class lecture about things he planned to do with Rowan once she was completely better. And one of the images must have been strong and clear enough for Rowan to pick up because half-way through class her head jerked off of Hunter's shoulder where it'd been resting, and turned around to look at him, face flushed.

----

Toby was telling her how glad he was that she was back because Spenser was no fun without her to talk to. He knew everything and everyone at the school, every nook and cranny, love and heartbreak, lie and truth; and when you had that much information and no one to tell it to, it could get pretty lonely, even for a ghost.

Rowan chatted with her friend – dead or not, Toby was just that – as she shelved the books on the second floor of the library. It was snowing lightly outside, and it was quiet. Except for the various text messages she received from both her brother and boyfriend inquiring about how she was. Her phone would vibrate in the pocket of her blazer, startling her. She was tempted to turn it off but Rowan knew that their minds would jump to the conclusion that she _couldn't_ answer the phone, as opposed to _wouldn't_ answer it.

"Well, if it isn't Rowan Danvers, back from the dead."

She frowned. Aaron Abbot was standing at the end of the aisle, arms crossed, smirk pasted on his lips. At first she thought he was drunk, but upon second glance Rowan saw that he was just severely hung over. His eyes were bloodshot, pallor wan; chin unshaved, hair uncombed and oily.

"Hi, Aaron," she said. "What's up?"

"Nothing." He approached, bringing along the aroma of alcohol.

"Are you okay?" Rowan asked.

He scoffed. "Always."

She nodded, slowly. The cart of books squeaked as the wheels moved. "Well, uh…you look a little…peaked, Aaron. Been drinking?"

"Constantly," Toby said.

"Been talking to Garwin?" he sneered.

"I don't need to talk to anyone to see it." She wasn't lecturing him, merely commenting. "But if you don't feel well you should lay down."

Aaron chuckled. "Only if you lay down with me, babe."

Rowan's jaw twitched. Now was the time to end the conversation.

"Wait, I didn't mean that," he said quickly, sensing her retreat. "I was just messin' with you, Danvers."

Pause. "All right."

Truth was Aaron had missed Rowan during the several days she was absent. He came up here everyday in hopes of seeing her, just talking with her a little. Especially since everything else in his life was shit. He was shit. Sometimes Rowan was the only real person he came in contact with. He'd wanted to go visit her in the hospital, an unexpected urge that had been, and he almost had. Thursday he'd been at the hospital for a follow-up with his doctor, getting news he didn't want to hear…

Rowan got flashes of what Aaron was thinking of. He was at the hospital. Talking to a doctor. His mother next to him. The atmosphere was tense. Doctor reciting bad news. For Aaron.

That was all she got.

Aaron sighed. Slipped his flask out of his blazer, took a drink.

"You sure you're okay?" she asked, quietly, worried.

His eyes fastened on her. He almost told. Almost.

"Like I said, Danvers. I'm always okay."

----

Rowan sighed. She was idly flipping through her Book of Shadows reading nothing particular.

"Hey, beautiful," Reid greeted, walking in with a smile. He'd just gotten off of work at Beans and came straight to see his girlfriend.

"Hi," she said with a weak grin.

"What's wrong?" he asked. He gave her a kiss, tugged her off the stool and led her to the sitting half of the apothecary on the comfy pixilated couch.

Rowan shook her head. "I don't have a job anymore." For starters, that wasn't what was really on her mind.

"What?" he exclaimed. "Why?" No way in hell could Lacey have fired her.

"Lacey has this friend with two little kids whose husband just left her high and dry. But she couldn't really afford to pay another employee, so I opted to resign."

"She told you that?"

"Not exactly. I kind of got it from her mind. Lacey was worried about it." She shrugged. "Besides, I've been missing so much work with being sick. Besides, I don't really _need_ the job."

She had liked working there, though, Reid knew. "Sorry, Row."

"It's okay. I've just got more time for the humane society."

"And me," he nudged, teasing.

A smile spread on her lips. "Of course."

"But why do I get the feeling there's something more?"

This time she truly hesitated because…

"Aaron?" he griped. "What about him?" Reid pulled back a little to get a better look at her.

"There's something wrong with him," she blurted.

"That's not news."

"I mean, he was at the doctors and got bad news. Plus, he's been drinking so much."

"So what? He's a lush."

"Reid…what if something is really wrong with him?"

"I don't care!" he asserted. "You shouldn't either. Abbot's a pain in the ass to everyone; even Coach gave up on him."

"He's off the swim team?"

"Yup." Then, "And when did you get all this?"

"Um…" Rowan averted her eyes, concentrated on petting Bubbe who had just ended her staring contest with Mo and Bo and came to sit on her lap. "We talk…sometimes."

This did not make him happy – at all. "Sometimes."

"Just in the library, you know."

"I really don't," he uttered blandly.

"Toby's with us, so it's okay."

"A ghost doesn't count if the other person doesn't know about him."

Rowan pulled a face. There was no coming to an understanding with Reid when Aaron Abbot was involved. Mostly it turned into a stalemate; an agreement to disagree.

"He hit on you?" he interrogated.

"No," she said.

"Only if you lay down with me…babe?" Reid repeated Aaron's words from earlier that day. Their blood bond was getting stronger and they were picking up each other's thoughts like lucky pennies off the ground.

"He took it back! Don't get upset, Reid, please."

Only the sincere entreaty in her voice simmered him down and stopped him from uttering a few more choice words. "Fine," he grumbled. She rested her head in the crook of his neck; he kissed her on her forehead. "Don't worry about him, Row. Really. Nothing bad ever really happens to guys like him."

Rowan wasn't too sure about that, but she took Reid's words as a light balm to her concerns, anyway.

After a moment, she said, "No one's here but us, you know."

A smirk tweaked his lips, his eyes peered at her mischievously. "I don't know if you're up for that yet."

She captured his lips in a long, deep kiss to quell his misgivings. "What was going on in your mind in class today didn't exactly involve me doing much to you."

"Ah…that's true," he beamed. Reid gently put Bubbe aside; then unceremoniously scooped Rowan up in his arms. "Behave, kids," he said to the three animals. "We've got grown-up things to do."

----

"Oh, my God!" Maria and Pinkie flanked Rowan at lunch the next day.

"What?" Rowan asked.

"Aaron got in a car accident," Pinkie whispered.

"He's in the hospital," Maria put in.

A rock settled in Rowan's stomach. Poor Aaron. "Is he okay?"

"It's his fault," Reid interjected. "He was drinking."

"Reid!" She chastised him for his insensitivity. Rowan turned back to Maria and Pinkie. "How bad is it?"

Reid rolled his eyes. Nobody else at the table was overly concerned about Aaron. Reid figured the guy got whiplash and he'd be back in a couple of days. When Maria and Pinkie said they didn't have any more information beyond that, Rowan said aloud that she should ask Kira or Brody.

"No!" Reid exclaimed.

"Dude," Tyler said.

"What?" Reid looked around the table. "You guys can't pretend like you actually give a shit."

Silence. They didn't wish Aaron fatal harm, but they consented that he had brought it upon himself.

Rowan sighed, got up. She didn't have an appetite right now.

"Way to be sensitive, bro." Hunter slapped the blond on the back. They all knew car accidents were a dark spot for Rowan.

Reid groaned, got up and followed Rowan out of the cafeteria.

"So, what's with all the hate?" Hope asked. Pogue's chair was as close to hers as it could get, his arm was around her. "I don't know Aaron so…"

"Unpleasant," Pinkie and Maria said in unison.

Judy peered at Caleb. She knew her boyfriend and his friends had no love lost between them and Aaron, but even she did not know the reason why Aaron Abbot was anathema.

"Trust me, you don't want to get to know him," Pogue said.

"Hmm," Hope mused. All right, she wouldn't push…now. But judging by the adverse reaction; she suspected Rowan was involved in the equation, and the little sister didn't know it.

----

Not caring what Reid thought, Rowan went to the hospital anyway to see Aaron and get some news on his condition. She wasn't family by a long shot, but she was well known around the place; and this once Rowan thought it wouldn't be so bad to use that as an in. Luckily for her, one of the candy stripers, Nina, was on Aaron's floor, and she loved to talk.

"Almost wrapped his car around a tree," Nina dished. "Three sheets to the wind."

"How bad is it?" Rowan asked.

"Let's see…a few bruised ribs, concussion, couple of contusions, broken wrist… Nothing _fatal_ since I last heard."

She nodded. That was good. "Is he awake?"

Nina shook her head. "Sedated. But I can get you in."

"That'd be great, Nina. Thanks."

"Anytime." Then, "Oh yeah! He's also been here before, too, you know. On the oncology floor."

Rowan's heart thudded. The bad news.

"Cancer of the balls," Nina revealed.

Five minutes later Rowan was sitting next to Aaron's hospital bed. His face was an amalgamation of blues and purples, and he had all the trimmings and accessories that came with the injuries Nina had told her about. She knew Aaron was down good so she didn't wind up staying long. Rowan held his uninjured hand for a bit before telling him that she would come back to visit him later.

Back outside, the cold hit her, cleared her senses. Thinking about the argument she'd had with Reid at lunch. He didn't understand why she cared so much, it was Aaron Abbot after all. Plus, the accident had been his own fault, just another one of those drunk drivers that had almost taken her out four years ago. Yeah, Reid had had to go and mention that.

And of course, Reid was standing next to her car when she got to it. There went that blood bond again.

He tipped his head to the side. "So?"

She handed over the car keys.

He opened the door for her, went around the front, got in. They were quiet for a while.

Rowan told him about Aaron's injuries.

"So, he'll be back at school in a few weeks," Reid said casually. Nothing to worry about.

She shook her head. "Maybe not."

He stole a look at her from the corner of his eye. "Is there something else?"

Pause. "He has cancer."

Reid was silent. What the hell did you say to that? "Okay…"

"Testicular."

The car swerved.

"Shit," Reid cursed. He took a breath. "Jesus Christ." His hands clenched and unclenched the wheel.

"Are you okay?" Rowan asked, jarred by the momentary imbalance.

"Uh, yeah…I mean… Maybe try not to mention ball ca…you know." Reid couldn't say the word. "When I'm driving." He could feel his own aching right now.

"See, you're feeling his pain already."

He chuckled dryly. "How 'bout an early dinner?"

"All right."

Ten minutes later they were at Denny's. They ordered.

"He has a good chance though," Rowan was saying. "He's young, even in some cases if the testicular cancer is malignant there's an eighty-five percent cure rate."

"Don't they like…" Reid got light-headed in his seat just thinking about it. "Never mind."

"Remove the testicle?" Rowan provided.

"Okay, you know, I tried, but I can't talk about this right now," Reid declared, holding up his hands in surrender.

Rowan smiled a little. "It's a guy thing?"

"Yeah," he replied. "We like our balls attached."

She nodded. "Gotcha."

----

"How can you sit there and not even flinch when I say 'ball cancer'?" Reid demanded.

Tyler was propped up on his bed with a school book on his lap.

"Forget it, Dr. Simms," the blond dismissed. "You'll probably hear worse when you become a cancer doctor."

"Oncologist," Tyler corrected. Following in his parents footsteps into the medical field had been expected, good thing it was an expectation Tyler liked. He had decided on oncology at a young age because of Rowan. It was a field he felt drawn to.

"Yeah, whatever." He turned off his light, folded his pillow in two and put it comfortably beneath his head. "You think he'll die?" Reid asked.

Tyler shrugged, turned off his light. "It has a pretty high cure rate. And a guy can live a perfectly normal life with just one testicle."

Reid cursed. "Christ, you're going to give me nightmares, Baby Boy."

----

"So, what's the deal?" Hope asked.

"What deal?" Pogue repeated teasingly. He was looking up at Hope who was straddling him. The blanket and sheets were rumpled, the pillows helter-skelter.

"You know what I'm talking about." She held him down with both palms flat on his shoulders. "With Aaron."

Pogue pulled a face. "Don't mention that name when we're in bed."

She laughed. "All right. Is it that bad?"

"He's that bad." He pulled her down, kissed her. But he could tell she wasn't going to let it go. Well, whatever, Pogue didn't want to have any secrets between them anyway. "It was back in the eighth grade. Reid overheard Aaron and Brody at a party talking about how they were going to put something in Rowan's drink to loosen her up."

Hope was disgusted. "That's awful."

"Yeah. We didn't like him before, but after that it was like war."

She nodded. "And you never told Rowan?"

"Nah."

"Hmm." Hope slid down so she was next to him; propped herself up on her elbow. "Why?"

"None of us wanted her to know. She was young. Just twelve at the time, going on thirteen in a few months. More vulnerable and sensitive than she is now."

"Just a boyfriend and a bunch of big brothers wanting to protect her."

Damn, Pogue loved her. It was the first time he hadn't heard any scorn in a girl's voice when commenting on how he and the rest of the guys treated Rowan. No jealousy or resentment.

"Pretty much," he replied.

"She could probably handle it if she knew now."

"Maybe," he mumbled. "But-"

"I won't tell her," she interrupted. "Row suspects there's something more though, doesn't she?"

"Yeah," Pogue sighed.

Hope giggled. "You're so adorable when you get that look on your face."

"Adorable?" Pogue playfully tackled her, pinned her to the bed. "Who're you calling adorable?"

A knock came at the door.

"You two sex fiends want to take it down a notch?" Hunter asked, not impolitely.

"I could say the same about you and Gabe a couple of nights ago," Pogue retorted.

Hope shushed him. "Sorry, Hunter, we'll try to be quiet."

Hunter chuckled, walked away back to his bedroom.

----

"Aaron, a friend from school is here," the nurse said chipperly.

He would have groaned, but even blinking was too painful. Aaron had woken up some hours ago in a haze of post-sedation. Bits and pieces of him losing control of his car flashed through his mind; then his foot hitting the brakes; the spinning. And who the hell was coming to visit him? Brody? Kira?

The last person he would have expected.

"Hey," Rowan said with a soft smile.

He said nothing.

"Yeah, it's probably too painful to even move your lips, huh?" She scooched a chair next to his bed and sat.

"I'll leave you two alone," the nurse spoke with a smile pasted on her lips.

"That woman drives me nuts," Aaron managed to grind out.

Rowan chuckled. "Yvette is nice."

Aaron scoffed and instantly regretted it. Rowan winced, too, like she was feeling his pain. In the interval of silence her autumn eyes scanned the room. There were no flowers or boxes of chocolates, no cards bearing well wishes and hope you get betters.

"I'm a popular guy," he rasped.

"You're only one day in. The room'll be filled by tomorrow."

"Sure." Aaron knew he didn't have any sort of friend that would send him cards or flowers.

"How are you?" she asked.

"How do you think?"

He could have sunken into his bed with her concern filled eyes focused on him. Her wavy black hair framed her beautiful face with its natural glow and strawberry hued lips. She wore jeans, a fitted hoodie, rainbow scarf, black coat. It must be the drugs; they were making him not right. Or the concussion, his brain was obviously not firing at full capacity.

Rowan half-smiled. "You know what I meant."

Pause. "Freaking fantastic. I guess driving your car into a pole can do that to a person."

"It was pretty bad."

"Not bad enough," he muttered, as if he wished it were worse. Part of him did. He was already craving alcohol to bring on the numbness.

After a pause, she cleared her throat. "I got you something." She pulled a card out of her messenger bag and set it on the table next to his bed. "You can open it later. I'd have brought flowers but I always thought it sort of depressing to see them wilt after a few days, you know?"

Aaron swallowed painfully. Instead of saying thank you, like a normal person would, he said, "Does Garwin know you're here?"

"Yeah." She leaned in and whispered, "I left them all notes."

The corner of his mouth twitched.

"Sorry to interrupt, but it's time for Aaron to rest," Yvette announced with her ever-present smile.

"Okay." Rowan stood. "I'll come by later."

"Why?" he blurted. "I don't need your pity, Danvers."

"Aaron! What an awful thing to say," Yvette exclaimed. "She's the only friend who's come to visit you and that's how you behave?"

Rowan pursed her lips to keep from laughing. "It's all right, Yvette. It must be the meds talking."

"Must be," the nurse replied huffily. "I'll be back in a moment."

Rowan slung her bag over her shoulder. "Remember what I said about pitying you?"

"Eh."

"That's what I thought…Cornelius."

His brow shot up, sending bolts of agony throughout his face and the rest of his body. When they subsided he bit out, "In case you haven't noticed, I'm injured here."

"There are confidentiality clauses everywhere in a place like this. No worries." She touched his hand gently, sobering. "It'll be okay Aaron. All of it."

"What are you talking about? All of what?" _Does she know?_

Rowan just smiled gently.

----

All things considering, it wasn't really surprising that Aaron crossed Rowan's mind more often. It was Friday, the day after she'd gone to visit him at the hospital. It was a no-school day because of some teacher event; now she and Reid were in his bedroom where they'd spent the last few hours. He was sleeping; Rowan was warmly cuddled against his side, head on his chest, her thigh over his waist, covers pulled up over them both.

The steady _thump, thump, thump_ of his heart was reassuring to her. It was cold outside, but the sky was pure blue without a cloud in the sky. The sunshine wafted into the bedroom. Her fingertips ran lightly down Reid's arm; the natural light set off the golden hairs on his body, so fair you had to look close to really see them. The dark inks of his tattoos were a stark contrast with his equally fair skin. Rowan remembered when he'd gotten his first one in the eighth grade; his parents had been livid; Reid hadn't cared. Instead he just got a few more.

"Do I feel someone checking me out?" Reid mumbled.

She smiled. "In your dreams."

A lazy grin played on his face. He hugged her tighter to his side, ran his fingers through her hair. "Why aren't you sleeping?"

Rowan shrugged. "Not tired, I guess."

His eyes opened slowly. "Then we better go again then." Without warning he flipped her on her back and hovered over her, a wicked grin on his lips.

"Hey!" She giggled.

"You said you weren't tired."

She hmmphed. Already her boyfriend was fully awake, mind and body. She felt it against her lower abdomen. "You…are a horndog."

"I'll take that as a compliment." Reid kissed each side of her neck slowly; lowering his weight against her body.

"Do you think you'll ever get tired of this?" she asked.

His eyes widened. "Tired of making love to you? Hell, no." Pause. Then, "Why?"

"Hmm, I don't know. It happens with couples."

Reid peered at her inquisitively, wondering what had brought on this train of thought. "I think that happens to couples because they let it."

"Really?"

"Yeah." He kissed her. "We won't, though." Her small smile satisfied him. "Besides, I could never get tired of that sound you make right when I push."

"I don't make a sound," she denied.

"Yeah, you do," Reid beamed. "Every single time." And he pushed; Rowan made the sound without thinking. "See?" he said, as he went further, nudging apart her thighs firmly as he sunk deep.

Rowan made a throaty sigh in the crook of his neck as her body adjusted to his.

"Know what else?" he breathed.

"Hmm?"

"I like when you tell me not to stop, and the way you say my name before you come." He was moving rhythmically now, heat increasing. His words trailed off because he couldn't quite think straight.

Rowan digested every word he said. Bashful that she did those things, unaware; and pleased that Reid liked it even more. Rowan enjoyed every thing he did, too. When he would slowly kiss his way down the middle of her body; or when they made love in her favorite position, he held her up easily so there was no chance of her slipping; and when he was positioned behind her Reid's arms were wrapped tightly around her; the way he always remained inside a minute or two afterwards before pulling out.

Like now. They'd reached their peak and came down from up high. Reid's forehead rested against hers; feeling shockwaves throughout his body when Rowan ran her soft hands down his back.

"I think maybe now I can sleep," she said.

Reid smiled. "Then I did my job right."

----

Once again to Reid's chagrin, Rowan went to visit Aaron later that afternoon. Unlike yesterday there were now a few bouquets of flowers and cards. They still exuded an impersonal air that was rather depressing.

Ernie's nails clacked against the tile; he walked into Aaron's room with his tail up and wagging, eyes bright, looking professional in his therapy dog vest.

"Uh…" Aaron said. He was sitting up, still looked like crap though.

"Ernie," Rowan spoke, "this is Aaron. Aaron, Ernie. You have met before."

He gave her a quizzical expression. "Long time ago."

She smiled. "You remember then."

Ernie went right up to the bed and sniffed Aaron's hand, gave it a lick. The shepherd sat down, his tail now swooshing back and forth against the floor.

"You can pet him," Rowan said.

With his good hand, Aaron patted the dog on his head uncomfortably. Ernie caught the human's hand with his tongue again.

Aaron's face scrunched up and made a sound of disgust.

Rowan rolled her eyes, sat down. "How're you feeling?" She put her arm around Ernie and scratched his ears.

"They're starting to get stingy with the meds."

"Ah. Yeah, they do that."

He didn't say anything more. Kira and Brody had come by earlier today and stayed for a collective twenty minutes. Both of them had been glad to leave, no doubt about that. It was fine with him, because the pain was intense and he didn't want to deal with that and his wayward friends both.

"Have Kira and Brody come by?" Rowan asked.

"Earlier today for a bit."

"Hmm. That was nice of Kira. She hates hospitals."

"I forget you two used to be friends."

She shrugged half-heartedly. "Can I bring you anything next time?"

He smirked. "Sneak me in some beer."

Rowan wasn't amused. "Do you have a death wish?"

He scoffed. Winced. "Doesn't matter if I live or die. No one would care."

"Not even your parents?"

"Please."

"You've got a few decades to go."

"No, I don't."

"You're young. Healthy."

"Healthy? Okay."

"You're not then?"

He stared out the window. If anyone would understand, she would. "I have cancer."

Pause. "I know," she answered softly.

His brow furrowed. "How?"

"The grapevine. Testicular, right?"

He mumbled something.

"High cure rate," she said.

"Whatever."

His was advanced. For months he'd ignored the pain in his lower abdomen, his back; the discomfort after having sex until he lost interest in it entirely. He doused it with booze and aspirin. But he couldn't ignore the trace of blood in his semen, or the disproportion of his balls. He was too young to have cancer, damn it!

"They're removing it in a couple of weeks," he finally said. _Christ, am I really talking to Rowan Danvers about my balls? What is the world coming to?_

Rowan nodded sympathetically. Ernie felt it too because he whined and put his paw up on the bed, nudged Aaron's hand with his wet nose.

"What's his problem?" Aaron grumbled.

"He's comforting you." She hid her smile when Aaron pulled a face but reluctantly pet Ernie.

"Did he have ball surgery?"

"When he was seven months. And he's quite happy."

"I'm not a dog."

"I can see that. Like I said yesterday though, you'll be all right."

Aaron sighed tiredly. "How do you know?"

"Because you still have things to do. People to meet. Places to go."

He eyed her for a moment before saying, "You're seriously twisted, Danvers."

"So they say."

* * *

**Thanks for continuing to read and review, peoples. Very much appreciated.**


	26. Mysterious Ways

**XXVI. Mysterious Ways**

_The world is full of mysteries  
Full of magic and of wonder  
There's so much more than what we see  
Can't explain the spell I'm under  
Every time I look upon your face  
I'm constantly amazed  
And love moves through my days  
In mysterious ways  
-Bryan Adams_

A week later Rowan got a call from a frantic Maria while she was just exiting the humane society. As much as she had liked working at the Drury Lane Bakery, Rowan had to admit that she enjoyed having more time for volunteering, homework, and the people she loved.

"All right," Rowan said. "It'll be okay, don't worry."

Yikes, she thought. She thought her friend might be worrying over nothing, but still, Rowan stopped at the drug store on her way home. Better safe than sorry. When she got home she put her drug store purchase in the cabinet beneath her bathroom sink. She didn't need her brother or mom happening upon it and getting up in arms over nothing.

It was Friday and Rowan had no specific plans for the weekend. She visited Aaron at the hospital almost everyday, and his surgery was scheduled for next Wednesday. Some days he was grumpier than others, like the days he heard or saw from one or both of his parents. Rowan couldn't imagine being so estranged from her family members like Aaron Abbot was from his. He had uncles, aunts, cousins, and one living grandparent, but he was a name and face to them only, usually during the holidays.

A knock came at her door.

"Hey, Lil Bit," Caleb said, "you seen my watch?"

Bruce Lee, who'd been lounging on her bed, made a sound and hurriedly scrambled under her pillow.

"That's what I thought," Caleb muttered. He was wearing black slacks, casual dress shoes that you could see your reflection in, a blue button-down shirt that wasn't buttoned or tucked in yet.

"Going out with Judy tonight?" Rowan asked.

Her brother's face lit up at the mention of his girlfriend. Rowan loved seeing that look on Caleb's face, the ease and contentment of loving someone who fit you just right.

"Her parents, too," he replied. It wasn't the first time he'd met the folks. The first visit had been a nerve-wracking one. It was the one time he felt nervous meeting a girl's parents. Maybe because he cared so much about Judy. And he had to admit it was more than just caring. He was falling in love with her. No denying it.

"Bruce Lee," Rowan intoned. The ferret slid his head out from under the pillow so just his eyes, nose and whiskers were visible. "Cay's watch." She pointed at her wrist.

Bubbe nudged the ferret, her way of saying _let's go_. Both animals hopped off the bed and went about fetching Caleb's "borrowed" watch. Ernie snuffled on the bed, quite comfortable as he was. Caleb sat down beside the dog, patted his head.

"So…you visiting Aaron today?" he asked idly.

"Tomorrow," Rowan said.

The elder nodded. "How's he doing?" He and Aaron Abbot would never be friends, but being at the side of someone who had had cancer once, seeing the effects it took on family, the mind, the body; Caleb felt sympathy for the guy. Asshole that he was.

Her brow arched inquisitively. "His surgery is next Wednesday." And she knew he was scared, although he'd never admit it. Rowan sighed a little. "Hardly anyone goes to visit him, you know? Kira and Brody only went once. And his parents never stay long. It's sad."

Caleb nodded. Having such a tight family, he couldn't quite grasp the berth either. "Well, he's got you."

She half-smiled. "And Ernie. I actually think Aaron's warming up to him."

Ernie raised his head, his big brown eyes lolling back and forth from Rowan to Caleb. His tail thumped on the mattress. His canine ears heard the arrival of Bruce Lee and Bubbe before the two humans.

"There it is," Caleb drawled as the ferret twittered in with the stolen watch. The human inspected it for damage. There was none. For all the pilfering Bruce Lee did, one could never say that the ferret did not take care of his wares.

A half hour later Caleb was ready to go. He hugged his sister goodbye, double-checked to make sure that Reid was still coming over (he was) so she wouldn't be by herself most of the night, and left. Rowan went upstairs to take a shower; then changed into black mid-calf leggings, and a royal blue sweater-dress that had winged sleeves and a hood, the ensemble clinging to her body just right. Odd, she wouldn't have even known the proper names for the items of clothing if it weren't for Maria and Pinkie. Really, a sweater-_dress_? Who came up with that? To Rowan it just looked like a long sweater.

After she was done changing, she went to the kitchen to feed the animals their dinner, and start the meal she was cooking for Reid. The chocolate mousse pie was already finished, but the beef stew needed to be started on.

----

Reid walked into the Danvers' place about a half hour after Rowan started dinner. Ernie obviously heard him because the German shepherd was waiting in the foyer as a single greeting party. Only after inviting him did the dog jump on Reid with his forepaws on the human's shoulders.

"Ah!" Reid exclaimed when he got a hefty lick on his cheek. "Love you, too. Down." The dog instantly went back on all fours. "Where's Rowan, Ernie?"

The dog trotted straight to the kitchen, tail up and wagging. Rowan didn't hear their entry. She had the radio on and was singing as she cooked. Her hips moved in an unintentionally seductive manner to the beat. He didn't bother to announce his arrival. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall, enjoying the sight. She looked damned good in her sweater and leggings, he thought. It reminded Reid of how lucky he was to have Rowan. Not just because she was the most beautiful thing in the world, but because of who she was inside, too.

Rowan saw Bubbe jump off the kitchen stool. Her eyes followed the cat, and she saw Reid smiling at her.

"How long have you been standing there?" she asked as she turned off the radio.

He shrugged, pushed himself off the wall, half-grin on his face. "Long enough for my jeans to get uncomfortable."

Her face turned a light red as her eyes flicked to the area below his belt, getting a visual of the discomfort he spoke of. The heat of Reid's face came close as he kissed her, first softly then deeper, harder. Her back met the edge of the counter and her hands found the back of his neck where her fingers slid through the ends of his hair at his nape. All that just as his own hands roamed from her hips to her ass.

The pot on the oven started to boil over, putting a hold on their little make-out session.

"Damn," Reid muttered as he let her go.

"We'd regret it later if my meal got messed up." Rowan turned the heat down.

"You know, this is a very domestic setting," Reid spoke up. "Me coming home from work to a hot meal. It's almost like we're married."

Rowan laughed.

Reid let it go, letting the bubble of pleasure in his chest remain. It made him think for a moment. He told her he'd be right back and went up to her bedroom where there was an extra toothbrush for him. Reid wanted to get the coffee taste out of his mouth; it probably would have been better to do that _before_ he kissed Rowan, but she hadn't made any complaints. So.

In her bathroom, he took his toothbrush, which was next to hers, lathered it up with some mint paste. After, he went for the mouthwash. There wasn't any on the counter so he rifled through the cabinet beneath the sink and found…

He felt like he'd been hit with an anvil. Slowly, to keep his head from spinning, he stood up with the rectangular box in one hand, and the other planted flat on the counter to hold himself up.

How long has she had this? Why hasn't she taken it yet? What will it say? Positive, negative?

_Or is it supposed to be a color,_ he wondered, flipping the box to read the directions.

In the back of Reid's mind, he was instructing himself to remain calm. He and Rowan would deal with this. If she was pregnant, well, they had the resources to take care of a baby, because adoption wasn't a viable option for people with their genes. Chase Collins was a prime example of that. He kept on pondering about the outcome, the decisions they would have to make, when Rowan came in.

"Hey, what're you doing?" she asked. Her eyes saw what he was holding, the dumbstruck expression on his face. "Reid-"

"It's going to okay, Rowan," he interrupted, hugging her. "No matter what the result is, all right?"

She stepped back, tipped her head to the side, confused. "No…"

"And I'll be there for you, you know that," he went on.

Rowan put her hand on his chest to stop him. "Reid," she said, looking him in the eye, "that's not for me."

Silence. "Huh? But I found it in your cabinet."

She nodded. "I know. I bought it for someone else."

The implications of this set in and his heart rate slowed back to normal, some color returned to his face. "Who's it for then?"

Rowan took the box for him; put it back where he found it. "A friend."

He peered at her. "Maria?" By her lack of answer, it was obvious he'd made the correct guess. "Holy shit, she's pregnant?"

"She hasn't taken the test yet!"

"But, still… Do you think she is? Has she told Tyler?"

"No, she hasn't," she replied. "And I really don't think she's pregnant. It's just, Dizzy's," – she gestured subtly around her midsection – "usually like clockwork, and she's a bit off. So, she's panicking."

Reid nodded slowly. "Okay… Okay," he said more quietly. He ran his hand through his hair, leaving some gold strands sticking up.

Rowan laughed. "You really thought I might be pregnant?"

"My first assumption."

"Lucky for you then, I'm not." Rowan kissed him. "Come on, dinner's almost ready."

----

After they ate, Rowan and Reid went to the den to watch a movie. They lay on the couch together, half-watching what was happening on the tube.

"Hey." Rowan nudged him.

"Hmm?"

"Hypothetically…if I was pregnant, what would you have done?" She raised herself up a bit so her chin rested on his chest.

"I'd marry you."

She scrunched up her face as if the idea displeased her.

"What?" Reid asked, smirking. "Don't want to marry me?"

"Well…I wouldn't want my being pregnant to prompt marriage," she replied.

"I wouldn't marry you just because you're pregnant."

"But it would happen sooner only because I'm pregnant, not because you really _want_ to."

"Who said I didn't want to? What if I was already planning to ask and you got pregnant? It'd just be a coincidence."

"All right, all right," Rowan said, backing off with a grin. "It was just a hypothetical."

Reid hmmphed. Played with her hair. "I got the day off tomorrow, let's go somewhere."

That sounded good, but, "I'm going to visit Aaron at one, remember?"

The blond looked like he swallowed a bug. "You spend way too much time with him." Before she could reply he said, "I know, you told me why." _Still don't like it though._

"I know." She sighed a bit. "He's having his surgery on Wednesday."

"Don't say it!" Reid exclaimed. "I don't want to hear about his de-balling or whatever it's called." He shuddered.

----

Aaron was wide awake when Rowan and Ernie walked into his hospital room. The curtains were open, letting in the bright rays. The patient was flipping through channels.

"No cable," he grumbled.

Rowan smiled, sat down. Ernie went straight for Aaron, wanting petting. He was getting used to the dog, kind of liked the furball actually. Sometimes people poked their heads in the door if they knew Ernie was here, to say hi. The German shepherd was akin to a celebrity around this place, and it boggled Aaron's mind.

She took off her jacket, draped it across the back of the chair. "I got you something." She pulled out a box of Godiva. "Contraband," she whispered gleefully.

"You are one brave chick," Aaron said, his mouth already watering.

Rowan put them in the small drawer next to his bed. "For later."

Aaron had to smile despite the soreness that still hit his face. Every time Rowan said she was going to come visit him, he practically waited with bated breath for her arrival. He always told himself he didn't care whether she showed up or not, but the truth was his days brightened when he saw her, and he didn't feel so alone either. Aaron could pretend all he wanted that this cancer thing didn't bother him, but it did. He was scared shitless. And Rowan was the only person who understood; her having been through this herself.

"All right, let's get this game going," Rowan told him. She set up the chess game they'd been playing. Aaron was actually pretty good.

With Ernie's sweet presence, they played in quiet.

"Who taught you how to play?" Rowan asked after a while.

Pause. "My grandma."

By his hesitance and lack of emotion, Rowan surmised that his grandma was no longer living. To her surprise, Aaron went on.

"When I was a kid I visited her all the time. She would make cocoa and cookies and we would play while her old brown poodle slept by our feet."

She tipped her head to the side as she listened to every nuance of his words. "You were close with her."

His eyes flicked briefly at her, then away. "Yeah." He puffed a truncated chuckle. "She was a wild, outspoken woman. Always embarrassing my dad with some wise crack or whatever."

"Not a conventional woman."

"Nope." He scratched Ernie's ears.

"When she died the poodle didn't have a home. It was old, half-blind. My parents were going to get rid of her, but I threw a fit until they let me keep her."

Rowan smiled softly at that. "How old were you?"

"Six." Shaking his head in a self-deprecating manner, he said, "That poodle was my best friend. She died like seven months later."

"What was her name?"

Aaron didn't answer. Eyes were unnaturally fixated on the board. He mumbled something.

"What?"

"Cornelia," he bit out through clenched teeth.

She smiled wide. "Your grandma named you after her dog."

Aaron rolled his eyes. Relocated a chess piece. "Your move."

"Hey, someone naming you after a beloved pet is a compliment."

He snorted. "Not when the name is Cornelius."

They didn't get to have their usual banter at this as his parents walked in just then. Rowan had only seen them from afar at school functions. Although they were standing near, there was absolutely no closeness between man and wife. Aaron said the divorce wasn't final. Any mirth he had had disappeared when he saw his folks.

"Hello, Aaron," his mother said.

"Hi," he replied dryly. "Dad."

"Who's this?" Mr. Abbot asked.

Rowan stood, held out her hand. "I'm Rowan Danvers. And this is Ernie."

Mr. Abbot drew disinterested eyes at the dog. Ernie snuffed deeply, conveying he wasn't too pleased with the human either. He remained close to Aaron as if to lend comfort.

"Your mother and I need to speak with you," Mr. Abbot said. "If you would excuse us-"

"She can stay," Aaron interjected.

"Aaron, now-" his mother tried to placate.

"I said," he enunciated, "Rowan can stay."

Rowan was about to say she would leave, but Aaron's eyes met her briefly and he obviously didn't want to be alone with his parents; so she remained where she sat and kept quiet.

His father looked none too pleased. "Fine. We came to inform you about the consequences of your actions. Gerard couldn't get you out of it completely as this was the third incident." Gerard was their family lawyer.

Aaron smirked. "So what's my punishment?"

"Your license is revoked for a year, and you have to attend a month of AA meetings." Both adults were obviously stricken at the very thought of their son having to do such a thing.

"We'll find you a private meeting area," Mrs. Abbot said. "No one," she paused briefly, looking at Rowan, "has to know, of course."

"Nah," he replied. "There're some in the city I can go to."

"Do not be so cavalier, Aaron," his father chastised. "Do you have any idea the embarrassment you have caused us? Have you any idea the jeopardy you have put your place in at Duke?"

"Drunk driving for the third time," his mother lamented. "You should see the looks I get at the Club. It's humiliating."

Mr. Abbot scoffed. "You can always find another Club to go to, dear."

His wife shot daggers at him. "Do not take that tone with me. None of this would have happened if it weren't for you."

"Are you talking about the drinking or the cancer, Carol?" he sneered.

This was obviously an argument they'd had before.

"Both," she shot back. "Cancer runs on _your_ side of the family."

"And your side of the family isn't unfamiliar with the bottle, are they?"

She gasped. "How dare-"

Rowan couldn't stand to hear any more. They were beginning to raise their voices and the door was partially open. She stood up, good and indignant at this disgusting spectacle the two adults were making.

"I am going to have to ask you to lower your voices," Rowan declared. Her words were so unexpected that the Abbots stopped and stared. "How dare you come in here and air your B.S. like this."

"Listen, here," Mr. Abbot began angrily.

"No. _You_ listen," Rowan voiced. "I cannot believe I'm standing in front of two adults the way you're behaving. How can you be so callous and self-absorbed when your _son_ is obviously hurting? Don't you care how he feels? What he thinks? Instead of standing around arguing and pointing blame at one another; did you ever stop and ask what it is that is going on in your son's life that brought him to the point where he would have such a blatant disregard for his own _life_?" Her startling light brown eyes, laced with contempt, darted back and forth between the two who were rendered silent.

"The both of you are heinously selfish. And you should be ashamed of the way you're acting. You should be comforting Aaron, not castigating him."

Mrs. Abbot took a breath. "This really isn't any of your business, young lady."

"I'm making it my business," Rowan retorted. "And I think you should leave now. The both of you. There's already enough suffering going on around here without you adding to it."

They stood stock still, speechless.

"We'll speak later, Aaron," Mr. Abbot said in monotone.

Then they were gone. Rowan exhaled and sat back down. Aaron stared at her, in awe, shock.

"I don't think anyone's ever talked to my parents like that. Ever."

"I'm sorry. I know it was none of my business."

"No, I'm glad you did." He averted his eyes. "No one's ever stood up for me like that." Ah, shit. He was going to... No, no he wasn't, damn it.

"Anyone ever tell you it's okay to cry?" she questioned softly.

"Don't push it, Danvers," he said.

----

"Another night in Yankee Town," Michael quipped in his Cajun accent.

Gabriel nudged him with his elbow. "You know it's grown on you." His taciturn twin snorted.

The gang was all arriving at Nicky's, sans Pinkie as he was out on a date with his boyfriend James. When everyone was in the parking lot, Michael greeted the girls; kissing Judy and Maria on the hands with a sinful smile.

"Ah, _enchanté_," Michael crooned, looking at Hope. He took her hand. "Allow me to introduce myself, _je suis _Michael."

Pogue tensed, kept his arm around Hope's waist. Okay, Michael may have had a girlfriend back home, but that didn't mean Pogue liked him sweet talking Hope with his Cajun charm.

"And not a Yankee," the sorcerer continued. He grinned at Pogue. "Much better than the last one. A femme fatale, _n'est-ce pas_?"

"For once," Reid spoke, "we agree. Although I prefer to call her 'Super Bitch.'"

Michael laughed uproariously, slapped Reid on the back and said he'd buy him a beer.

Eyes rolled at the entire display. They walked into Nicky's where it was loud and crowded this Saturday night. Rowan was glad for the general revelry. After visiting Aaron she had returned home with a heavy heart. The way his parents had acted still weighed on her. She had sought her mom out who had been reading in the living room. Without even a word Rowan had settled on the couch, rested her head on her mother's thigh while Evelyn ran her fingers through her daughter's hair.

The music broke through Rowan's blues and she settled into the pleasure of being among the people who cared about her.

"Want anything?" Reid asked her.

"No, thanks," she said.

Hunter put his arm around the back of Gabriel's chair, exchanging a look of affection with his boyfriend. Maria was all snuggles with Tyler. She'd gone over to Rowan's house earlier to take the pregnancy test and it was negative, so everything was copacetic. And the evening was great until the group left.

Hunter and Gabriel came out holding hands. The word 'fags' was shouted from somewhere. Hunter knew it was directed at him and Gabriel and was about to step to the naysayer, but Michael got there before him.

"_Michel!_" Gabriel shouted, but the twin didn't listen.

Michael slammed the guy against the wall, hard enough that a crack was heard, a rib. "Do you know what happened to the last shithead who disrespected my brother?" Michael hissed.

A loud _pop_ filled the air, the unmistakable sound of a shoulder joint being dislocated. The guy screamed, though it was muffled as the side of his face was smashed against the brick.

"Holy shit," Reid laughed.

"I cut out his tongue," the sorcerer growled.

Gabriel approached his brother; spoke sternly to him in French. Finally, grudgingly, Michael let the man go. His face was murderous. Michael did not like anyone denigrating his brother.

"_La bave du crapaud n'atteint pas la blanche colombe,_" Gabriel quoted whimsically.

"_Les boules!_ _Je m'en fous,"_ Michael exclaimed. "Damn Yankee," he muttered.

"English?" Reid asked Rowan or Hunter.

"Gabe said 'sticks and stones,'" she translated, using the idiomatic French.

"Michael said he doesn't give a fuck," Hunter tacked on, smirking.

"Wow," Hope said.

"Is that a Southern thing?" Judy quietly asked Caleb.

"_Non_," Michael answered. "It's a family thing." He turned dangerous eyes on the people who were staring. "No one fucks with my family! Especially you Yankees! _Merde_."

"I can't take you anywhere," Gabriel said, pulling his brother along. "You'll calm down before we get to Miss Evelyn's house, _oui_?"

"Uh, maybe you ought to come back to the apartment to cool off," Hunter said, looking at Pogue for an okay.

"It's cool," Pogue replied. "My parents aren't home anyway."

Michael huffed. "_Ouais_. _Comme il faut, mon frère_."

Rowan took his hand and patted it. She knew, indeed, that it was a family thing for Michael. Although she wasn't one to crack a rib or pull someone's joint, Rowan understood where the drive to protect a loved one came from.

"_Merci, pichouette_."

* * *

**Thanks for sticking with me here.**

**I swear I don't know how this got so long, especially compared to the other ones. O_O I'm trying to wrap it up without rushing it.  
**

**Love to know what you think. Or has this become so drawn out that I'm losing people here? *sniffs*  
**


	27. Out of My Head

**XXVII. Out of My Head**

_Sometimes I feel  
Like I am drunk behind the wheel  
The wheel of possibility  
However it may roll  
Give it a spin  
See if you can somehow factor in  
You know there's always more than one way  
To say exactly what you mean to say  
-Fastball_

"You know Garwin," Brody said as they readied for swim practice. "Shouldn't you be worried that your girl is spending so much time with Aaron lately?"

Reid scoffed, shook his head, looked at Brody like he was the most pathetic creature in the world. He slipped his gray sweats on over his swim shorts. His brothers had similar expressions on their faces.

"I don't feel like dignifying that with an answer," Reid finally said.

It was weird confronting Brody without Aaron around. The locker room lost some of its color.

"All that time alone with him in the hospital room," the instigator went on.

The blond went head to head with Aaron's friend. Reid was a few inches taller, broader of shoulder, but Brody didn't step back. For once, the blond Son didn't feel too much like arguing. Maybe he was getting too old for it? Or maybe Brody just wasn't as good as Aaron in riling him up.

"Wouldn't have so much time alone if you were there next to Aaron," Reid hit back. "When's the last time you went to see him, anyway?"

"None of your damn business," Brody flared after a pregnant pause. "Maybe if your girlfriend wasn't there so much. Don't you worry? Her getting close to Aaron?"

"Seriously?" Reid questioned. He looked back at his brothers, meeting each of their eyes, and they busted up laughing. Even Caleb's face was hurting his smile was so wide. "Brody. When it comes to Rowan, I don't have to worry about a damned thing."

They heard the whistle coming from the pool area, and the group dispersed, leaving a much heated Brody in their wake.

"Worrying about Rowan with Aaron?" Tyler said.

More laughter sounded.

The pool area smelled like chlorine, sweet chlorine, invading their senses since freshman year. It was crazy how all this was coming to an end in a few months. Losing Aaron hadn't put too much of a crimp in the team. They were determined to win State this year, it being their last and all. Ten days away.

"Scouts still coming to the meet?" Hunter asked.

"Better believe it, Mercer," Coach said as he passed. "Not that you guys need to worry."

True enough. Nothing short of a murder conviction could stop Harvard from accepting Caleb into their institution. Tyler and Reid were going to Boston University. Pogue was going along with Caleb, and Hunter was undecided. He could go into the "family business," that being elite security guards. Or Black Ops. Coaches for Olympic martial arts frequently got into contact with him, and Ironman competitions were mentioned as well. Olympics and Ironmen were a notable part of his paternal legacy.

Reid's little spat with Brody was done and forgotten. The only thing that lingered was what he had said about not having to worry about Rowan with Aaron. He didn't think the guy would hurt her, he wasn't in any shape to, but Reid knew that Rowan was building a connection with Aaron, and she still didn't know about what Aaron and Brody had been planning to do to her back in eighth grade. It was four years ago, but… was talking about drugging a girl's drink and fooling around with her something to be taken lightly, even after all this time? Was that someone Rowan should be hanging out with? Getting close to? Reid didn't think Aaron deserved a damned bit of her sympathy or compassion no matter what he was going through.

He waffled about the decision to tell her about it. Not because he hated her being around Aaron, he did; Reid just didn't want her to waste her time on the guy.

"Hey." Tyler nudged him. "You okay?"

Reid nodded.

----

"Are you going to State to watch?" Rowan asked.

Aaron pulled a face. Shook his head. "Swimming was something my dad wanted me to do."

He was in the middle of his first chemotherapy treatment. His de-balling surgery had gone well, despite the fact that he'd woken up with one ball less than when he'd gone in. The injuries from the car accident were healing up well, too. It didn't hurt so much to breathe or move his neck and his face was losing its hues of blue and purple. Now, here he was, getting his adjuvant chemo in a sunny room full of other sick people like him.

"So he was disappointed then?" Rowan said.

He scoffed. "My entire being is a disappointment to him."

Ernie saved her from responding. The German shepherd inserted his head under Aaron's hand and rested his muzzle on the guy's knee.

"I knew he'd grow on you."

Aaron rolled his blue eyes, mirth was there. The damn dog had grown on him. Reminded him of how he used to feel with Cornelia. Shit, he missed that poodle. Cried himself to sleep every night for a month straight after she died.

Rowan thought despite all he'd been through the past month, he was taking it well. There hadn't been any more confrontations with his parents, now there was a Cold War going on. It was awful. His family should be here. She remembered her mom, dad, and Caleb being here with her. Then everyone else would be waiting at home for her when she got back.

"So, how sick am I gonna be after this shit?" Aaron questioned. The doctors had explained, but they had a bad habit of covering up the bad stuff with medical jargon that made little to no sense.

Rowan shrugged. "It varies with people."

"How sick did you get?"

"Hmm…I remember throwing up. Stomach aches. My hair fell out." Aaron winced and she smiled. "It wasn't so bad. I got to wear a lot of interesting hats. I think you'll do better than I did, though. I wasn't so strong to begin with." Her cell phone beeped. She checked the message; put it back in her pocket.

"Your keeper?"

She smirked. "It was Hunter. No jokes?"

"Ha ha."

"It's okay. I know you don't really have a problem with gay people. You just hit people where you think it'll hurt the most. Hence your use of the F-word."

_Damn._ "Are you shrinking me, Danvers?"

"I would never!" she exclaimed, putting a hand over her heart. "What do you have against therapy anyway?"

He snorted. "Please. Paying someone to hear you talk while they doodle on a yellow pad always asking you how you _feel_."

"Not all therapists are like that. Group therapy is helpful for me."

"To each his own." He continued to pet Ernie.

"This is a little left field, but can I ask you a question?"

"Do I have to answer it?"

She chuckled softly. "No."

"Okay."

"Why do you and Reid hate each other so much?"

Quiet. His hand stilled on Ernie's head before resuming distractedly. He looked out the window and the sun hurt his eyes. "How the hell should I know?"

"You guys were never friends. But what was a rivalry between two boys became something bigger. In the eighth grade. I always just wondered." Rowan shrugged.

Aaron's face was a study in concentration.

_You fucking asshole! You ever hurt her and I'll kill you!_

The image of Reid yelling flashed in her mind. It was an old Reid. Younger. In an unfamiliar house, a backyard. Brody was standing next to Aaron.

_It was a joke_, Aaron said.

_Drugging her? A joke?_

Rowan winced in the present. She knew the fight was about her. Nothing else could make Reid so angry. Her autumn eyes observed Aaron keenly. There was regret and guilt coming off of him.

"It was that party, wasn't it?" she spoke, and his head snapped in her direction.

A minute or two went by before he finally sighed, surrendering. A young Brody and Aaron, standing in the middle of a crowded group, watching her with Hunter.

_I say we put something in her drink and get her alone,_ Brody suggested, sincerity laced his eyes.

Aaron rolled his eyes. _Sure, you do that,_ he replied sarcastically. _Good luck getting her away from her boyfriend._

"Brody wanted to put something in my drink, right?"

"Reid told you?"

She said nothing.

Aaron figured Rowan would hate him from here on out. Walk away and never come back. He wouldn't blame her. She was his only friend now and his past deeds were coming back to bite him in the ass.

"Would you have done it?" she asked quietly.

"No," he replied, sure enough. "Brody didn't know where to get drugs. He was talking out of his ass."

"What if he had had something?"

He opened his mouth to reply. Closed it. "I think…that you're the last person in the world who deserves to get treated like shit. So I won't lie." His eyes met hers. "I have no idea what I would have done back then, Rowan." He cleared throat. "I was thinking… You forgave that guy who was drunk. You think you could forgive me?"

----

"What's wrong?" Reid asked.

They were eating dinner at the local diner. He didn't need the blood bond to know something was wrong with her. But he wasn't getting any images either.

"Aaron told me…about that party," she finally said.

There weren't many parties that would hold such significance, so he didn't play dumb. "He told you?"

"Well…I asked why you guys hated each other so much. And he thought about it so hard that I got some images and words." Her soft eyes met his. "Why didn't you tell me?"

He sighed a little, set down his fork and leaned back against the booth. "I didn't see why you needed to. You were…younger back then."

"We all were." Rowan looked out the window, at Reid. "It was Brody's idea."

"Aaron didn't object." Reid saw the cascade of emotions cross her beautiful face. And he knew what she was going to say.

"I think-"

"He's not sorry," he interrupted forcefully. "Abbot's never sorry about anything."

"You didn't feel what I felt. You didn't see his eyes, Reid. There was genuine regret."

He shook his head. There was no give in his resolve.

"If I can forgive Paul, then-"

"I never liked that you did that either."

Her face lost her insistence. "We're never going to agree on this, are we?"

"No, we're not." Like Rowan, he lost some of his vehemence, seeing her so conflicted, sad. He got up and sat next to her on the opposite booth. Reid's arm went around her shoulders and she rested her head on his shoulder.

"You know," Rowan said, "I think it's good we have difference of opinion."

He smiled. "Yeah? Even if it means arguing?"

"A heated discussion," she corrected, and Reid chuckled. "It keeps us balanced. So long as we respect the other's viewpoint."

"I respect yours. I'm just not as forgiving as you."

"And I respect that."

He kissed her on the head. "I knew we'd be damned good together."

"Did you?" she smirked.

"Hell, yeah." Then he smiled devilishly, blue eyes twinkling. "And the fact that we're on fire in bed is just a big, big bonus."

Rowan laughed, looked around the diner to make sure no one heard. "You're bad."

"So are you. Especially when you do that thing with your hips."

Her face crimsoned. "O-K! We're leaving now."

Reid stood up promptly, threw some green on the table. "You read my mind."

"Really? That's great, because I need to finish my homework, too."

He frowned. "That's not what I was thinking."

"My mom's catering a party tonight, and Caleb is out with Judy," she told him as they left the diner. "If we finish our homework early…"

"Shit, then let's get it done!"

----

"You're spoiling me," Judy said.

"No such thing," Caleb argued, smiling.

He was walking her back to her dorm room after another date. Seeing her at school and talking to her on the phone afterwards wasn't enough for him. Either he invited her over for dinner at his house or he'd take her out. His mom loved her, Rowan and Judy got along great, and his brothers thought she was cool.

They were laughing as they entered her room. Judy flicked on the light, closed the door. Both Millicent and Judy were neat people.

"Hey, what's this?" Caleb asked, holding up an envelope.

"Oh…" Judy trailed off.

"Your acceptance letter." He flipped it over. "You didn't open it yet. When did you get this?"

"A few days ago."

His brow furrowed. "Why…?"

"I'm afraid to open it," she confessed. Her grades were excellent, her references stellar, but the butterflies in her stomach couldn't help fluttering spastically. Judy plopped on the bed. "My parents still don't entirely approve of me wanting to go into law."

Caleb frowned, sat down next to her. He had heard Judy's parents' disapproval about her ambition for criminal law. They thought it was a field that was too gritty, rife with so much sadness, disappointment.

"You know you can be anything you want. And once you do as great as I know you're going to, they'll understand."

Her heart filled with warmth. "Will you open it?"

"You sure?"

Judy nodded. She closed her eyes, heard the envelope open. Then silence. "What does it say?" When she finally looked at Caleb he was beaming. "I got…?" She took the paper from him. "Oh my God… I got in!"

They embraced happily, Caleb swung her around. "I knew you would," he told her.

Judy continued to be stunned as tears filled her eyes. "I can't believe…"

Caleb had never seen her so beautiful. There were no doubts. He loved her. His lips were locked on hers passionately and she held him just as tight, didn't let go even when they fell on the bed. Instinct took over, there was no second-guessing. Her soft hands slipped under his gray t-shirt, felt his muscles ripple. Caught up, Caleb did the same, cupping her breast under her shirt.

Judy knew if she hesitated that her nerve would dissipate so she slipped his t-shirt off, ran her hands down his chest, down his abdomen to his belt buckle. It made an audible sound as her fingers grappled to undo the belt. Her own top came off, revealing her simple cotton bra and fair, velvety skin.

When Caleb felt her touch the waist of his boxers, he stopped her. "Wait…Judy…you sure?"

Her eyes fluttered open. "I…"

Judy didn't get to answer. Millicent walked in the room, stopped cold in the doorway. In the one second she stood there, Millicent took in their state of undress, flushed faces, and…Caleb's visible erection.

"Oh…" Millicent squeaked. She did a sharp about-face that would make any military officer proud and left. "I'll be in the library," they heard her say.

Caleb turned back to Judy and they chuckled, embarrassed. "Uh…" He cleared his throat, shifted carefully considering his aroused state. "Sorry…I got carried away."

"It's okay," she hurriedly assured him, surprised at the huskiness of her voice. Dilated pupil eyes gazed back at her. "I love you."

He was stunned, but damned happy at her declaration.

"Oh my God," she exclaimed. "I can't believe I just said that." She wiggled out from under him, shoved her shirt back on. "It's too soon; you probably think I'm insane." Judy covered her face with her hands.

Caleb got off the bed, turned her around so she would face him and removed her hands from her face. "I love you, too."

"You do?"

He nodded. "I've been wanting to say it, too. I never have before." A smile spread on her face. "And I hope we get to love each other for a long time."

"I'd like that, Caleb."

----

When Caleb got home he was still on cloud nine. It wasn't late so the lights were still on and his mom was still out. Likely Evelyn would get in late; make herself a hot cup of tea before bed. Sometimes he would join her, actually having a clear conversation with his mother.

"'Sup!" Reid called out, walking down the stairs, Bruce Lee tittering at his feet.

"Hey," Caleb said, averting his face. Because he knew Reid would be able to tell…

"Wait, something's different here…" Reid trailed off. One…two… The blond laughed. "Holy shit! Congratulations, man!" He slapped Caleb on the back.

The older boy glared at him, headed for the kitchen.

"Hey, come on!" Reid exclaimed. "This is a good thing!" Reid took a Coke out of the fridge, same as his friend.

"You don't know what you're talking about, Reid," Caleb tried to deny.

Reid snorted. "Please, you think you can hide this from me?" When his stalwart friend once again avoided his eyes, Reid peered at him deeply. "Oh…" He closed his lids, putting a mock-serious expression on his face. "My psychic powers are telling me…that the cock-block roomie walked in on you."

Caleb didn't bite, but his silence was enough.

"Damn, Millicent probably planned that."

"It was just ill-timed."

"Hell, yeah, it was! Why didn't you just stay in the car?"

"Shut up."

Reid held his hands up in surrender. "Just saying."

He sipped his drink. "And get this out of your head before Rowan comes down here. She'll see it."

Reid snickered. "She won't need her psychometry to figure it out, dude." At Caleb's confused look, the blond gestured towards his shirt.

"Damn," Caleb hissed. He had put his shirt on inside-out and backwards. He managed to rectify his clothing mishap just as his little sister walked into the kitchen with Ernie and Bubbe.

"Hi, Cay. I thought I heard you." She smiled, but it wilted. "Are you sick? You're flushed." The back of her hand touched his forehead. "I'll make you some tea."

Reid was holding in his laughter at Caleb's predicament behind Rowan's back.

"I told you, you're worrying too much about school and State, big brother." She shook her head, tsked. "You should go upstairs and take a shower. I'll bring the tea up to you."

"Yeah, Caleb, go upstairs and take a…cold…shower," Reid echoed, getting a dark glare in return.

But he couldn't say anything lest he give away his position. He thanked Rowan with a kiss on the head, then beat a retreat before her psychometry could go off.

----

When they won State ten days later it was one less thing for Caleb to stress about. They celebrated like mad that night and were riding high for days afterwards. A special assembly was held in their honor and the palms of their hands turned raw from getting so many high-fives.

More prestige was brought to Spenser Academy.

The best part was that Evelyn had been there, sober and cheering harder and louder than all the parents combined.

----

"Here's to spring break!" Reid declared.

"Dude, spring break isn't for another two weeks," Hunter reminded him.

"He knows," Tyler added dryly. "He's only been crossing out the days since January."

The blond waved all of them off. No one was going to spoil anything for him. He had humongous plans for spring break which involved only him and Rowan, nothing was messing that up. He had a damned good reason to be marking off the days.

The slightly chill breeze blew at the Dells. It was Saturday; just another party at the beach, finally the weather was tolerable enough to have one although people were still burrowed in their jackets. The group congregated by the bonfire. The girls were wrapped up in their boyfriends' arms for extra warmth.

"Just think," Pogue said, "next year we'll be partying elsewhere."

"Are you waxing philosophical, Pogue?" Hunter deadpanned.

"That's what having a girlfriend will do to you," Reid quipped. "They turn you into deep thinking-"

Rowan nudged him with her elbow. "What's wrong with deep thinking?"

"Well, I, for one," Pinkie spoke, "love it when James waxes philosophical."

"Key term being 'waxes,'" the blond murmured.

He sniffed delicately. "Our first time was…beautiful."

"Here we go," Reid muttered.

Pinkie had been starry-eyed since he and James had 'tenderly consummated' their relationship a few weeks ago, and he had no qualms in sharing that fact.

"Kick him for me sweetie," Pinkie pouted to Hunter.

----

"Look at the fags," Brody sneered.

Aaron, Kira and Brody were up on a sandy hill overlooking the party. It was where they normally stood, like royalty observing their realm. But Aaron wasn't basking in the glow of superiority tonight. After his first chemo treatment, the sickness had come on like an onslaught. He might as well have been pregnant for all the food he wasn't holding down. His next appointment was in two days and Aaron wondered if Rowan would be there. They hadn't spoken since the last time at the hospital.

When Aaron had finally returned to school her face was the first one he'd looked for.

"Here." Brody nudged him. He had a beer bottle in hand. "You look like you need it."

He practically salivated. Beer. His month of mandatory AA meetings was almost up; mostly he just sat there around the group saying nothing. Finally though, Aaron shook his head, not wanting to risk getting sick, he could only imagine what alcohol would do to his system right now.

"What's wrong with you?" Brody complained.

"Nothing," he snapped.

"Shit, fine." Brody backed off.

Kira followed Aaron's eyes, saw them home in on Rowan. She instinctively sidled closer to Aaron and wrapped her arms tighter around his arm.

"Rowan was talking to birds again yesterday," she said disdainfully. "I swear one day she'll end up in a nuthouse."

"Kira?" Aaron spoke.

"Yeah?"

He looked her in the eyes. "Shut up. Okay?"

Her mouth opened. Shut. "What the hell is your problem?" she nearly screeched. "I am so sick of your moping! All you do is go to school then straight to your dorm after."

"Excuse the hell out of me for having cancer," Aaron retorted. "Maybe I'm not so interested in doing the same old shit all the time."

"What?" Brody stepped in. "Who the hell brainwashed you?"

Kira scoffed. "Rowan."

"Dude, the girl's seriously whacked," Brody said, but his eyes lasciviously raked over Rowan anyway.

"At least she has a brain in her head. One she uses." His head was starting to compress, his stomach tightening as a swell of nausea hit him. Aaron choked it down with effort that broke out into a cold sweat. "I'm ready to leave."

"I'm not," Brody said.

Aaron chuckled, dry as the Sahara. Brody was his ride here. Supposed to be his ride back. "Whatever." He walked away.

----

Rowan had been keeping a discreet eye on Aaron. Often she'd wanted to inquire as to how he was feeling over the weeks; it was obvious his first chemo treatment had made him ill, she could see it as he sat in the classroom sometimes. She had some great teas, candles, and incense that she knew would help him, but she had yet to offer the solace they could provide.

She saw Aaron having an argument with Kira and Brody before finally leaving them.

"I'll be right back," Rowan said, and hurriedly went away.

She weaved her way through the crowd and soon was at the edge of the dark woods that people parked their cars at. Rowan didn't see Aaron here, so she closed her eyes, concentrated, then followed the invisible coil that would take her to him.

So carefully was she following the path that she didn't hear the footsteps behind her until it was too late. Rowan was sloppily pushed into a tree, her chest connected with the hard wood.

"Well, if it isn't little Rowan Danvers," Brody drawled, obviously drunk. He now had her backed up against it.

"Where's Aaron?" she asked.

He shrugged laconically. "We don't need him. Three's a crowd, babe."

Never let it be said that drunks had zero coordination. When they really wanted something, when there was darkness inside that drove them, they could muster up whatever equilibrium they possessed and strike faster than an asp. Which was what Brody did. He grabbed her by her upper arms and threw her on the solid ground. Her head painfully slammed against the earth. Stars came down from the sky to cloud her vision and she tasted bitter blood in her throat. The wind was knocked out of her by his boot connecting with her diaphragm.

Among the ringing in her ears, she heard the clink of a belt being undone.

_Now's the time to get up_, she commanded herself. And just as she was, Brody kicked her again, further into the shadows. Fear now slowed her actions. It was odd how she could go head to head with demons, warlocks, and vampires out for her blood; but a situation like this that happened to thousands every day. It was paralyzing.

Fabric tore. A backhand set her face on fire. And then…

Brody yelled.

Quickly, Rowan tried to shake it off. Someone was on top of Brody, beating the ever-loving shit out of him. Skin brutally touched skin, cartilage broke.

"Rowan!" It was Reid. "Holy fuck!"

Reid was by her side. Took in the scene. Brody was giving back to Aaron, but Reid threw him off and starting to deal out some rage of his own.

Like it so often was, she heard Hunter's calm voice in her ear. He helped her up, making no move to stop Reid from wailing on her assailant.

"Hunter, stop him, please," she said.

He stalled for five seconds before hauling Reid off of Brody who was a bloodied, spoiled mess. Reid's lip was split, and his fists were crimson and scratched.

Reid held her tight to him, spitting some very serious threats at Brody.

"Get her to the car," Hunter told him. Hunter walked over to Aaron who was tiredly leaning against a tree with a pool of vomit at his feet. "Come on."

Aaron stared at him, confused.

"I'm taking you to the car."

A genuine shiver of fear trickled down Aaron's spine when Hunter's sharp jade eyes flicked over to Brody for a mere second. But he was passed caring. He let Hunter, practically a sworn enemy, help him to the car.

----

"Aaron, you have a visitor," the nurse said.

He turned his head, shock was evident on his face. Rowan smiled at him and walked into the room. She had Ernie with her and a gift bag in hand.

"Hi."

It took a moment for him to answer. "Hey."

Both of them were a little banged up. Rowan had a shiner from Brody's backhand, and Aaron had more blues and purples from his ex-friend getting a few hits in. The German shepherd swiped his tongue happily on Aaron's hand.

"I think he might have missed you," Rowan grinned.

A crooked half-smile lit his face. "Sure." He looked at her uncertainly. "How are you?"

Rowan shrugged. "Okay."

Rowan hadn't want to make a big thing of it, but when Caleb told their mother what happened Evelyn dialed Atticus Crane, then the sheriff. They both arrived and the sheriff took Rowan's statement. Reid and Hunter had to put their two cents in, and later Aaron was questioned as well. They kept the ordeal as quiet as possible for Rowan's sake who was a bit shaken up.

Brody lawyered up pretty fast with his parents by his side. But it was his word against four others. He was likely going to be charged with some misdemeanor assault, fine, and probation.

"I'm sorry," Aaron said.

"What for?"

"Everything."

Rowan put her hand over his and squeezed lightly. "It'll be okay." When he didn't answer she handed over the bag she brought with her.

"What's this?"

"Open it, silly!"

When he took the gift out of the bag, his hands began to shake. "Ah…shit. God damn it." His eyes shut tightly to hold back the tears.

"I talked to your mom," Rowan said to him. "She knew exactly where this was."

In his hands was a framed photo of him and Cornelia. Aaron's grin was wide and bright, innocent; the brown poodle's tongue lolled out happily as she was lovingly held in the young human's arms.

Aaron's shoulders began to quake. "Fuck," he hissed under his breath. And the tears came.

Rowan held him so his head was on her shoulder as he cried.

"This is good," she told him. "Baby steps."

"No one," – gulp – "knows about this Danvers."

She smiled. "Not a word."

* * *

**Thanks much for the continued reading. I think I have...no more than three chapters left to wrap this up.**

**I'd still love to know what you think. :)**

_**Note: DebBee - I actually don't have your e-mail address so I haven't been able to reply to you, chica. O_O**_ _**I checked your profile and I didn't see it. **_


	28. You're the First, the Last,My Everything

**XXVIII. You're the First, the Last, My Everything**

_I know there's only, only one like you  
There's no way they could have made two  
You're my sun, my moon, my guiding star  
My kind of wonderful, that's what you are  
You're all I'm living for  
Your love I'll keep for evermore.  
You're the first, you're the last, my every thing.  
-Barry White_

"Got it!" Reid declared triumphantly. He looked at his good, handy work. Pitching tents in the literal sense wasn't his forte, but he got the stupid thing up.

Rowan clapped. "Now we have a place to sleep."

It was the second day of spring break, late afternoon. They'd started out early to this campsite which Reid had scouted out a week earlier. This was the perfect place, he was certain. The ride up here had been bumpy but Rowan's car was adequate for off-road. She'd been surprised when he had suggested this location as he wasn't one for rustic living. But they were only out here for a couple of days; they were going to leave the morning after tomorrow.

"We won't be sleeping," Reid corrected her devilishly. "We're going to get one of those places crossed off your list."

She laughed. Under the stars, that's what she'd written. They'd knocked off 'in a car' a couple of weeks ago, and before school let out they had managed a romp in an all but forgotten closet on the second floor of the library. That served to remind her that now Toby was gone. Roz's astrologer friend had called and said all the stars and planets were in place for perfect passage to the other side. So two days before spring break, with a lot of magic, Rowan had lifted Toby's corpse from Spenser's lake. With the emergence of his body, Toby was capable of leaving Spenser property. They drove four hours to the cemetery where his parents were buried. There was a gravestone with his name on it, an empty casket in the ground.

Rowan had parted the earth, opened the coffin, and then the box which held Toby's body. It reeked, but it had been over forty years, hadn't it? It was a teary parting; Rowan was losing one of her closest friends. But an hour later Rowan had felt in her heart when Toby was reunited with his parents on the other side. It was a long overdue reunion.

Spenser Academy was a lesser place without Toby.

Reid was nervous. It was hard trying not to think about his ultimate plan lest Rowan's psychometry go off. He patted his jean pocket to make sure it was still there. Of course it was, he could feel it; Reid just needed reassurance. While he got the fire going and Rowan laid out their belongings, he thought about what had led him here.

There were no doubts in his mind that this was what he wanted to do. Had wanted to do for so long. It was like there was no other way. He would need more than two hands to count how many times he'd almost lost Rowan, and he didn't want to miss any opportunities with her. Plus, he just plain loved her with every thing he had.

Reid knew she would like the ring he'd saved up for. It was vintage. Not too big because Rowan didn't like ostentatious jewelry, and it wasn't so small that people would think he was cheap. The woman at the store helped him make the ultimate decision. The jewelry shop wasn't your typical Tiffany's or Kay's Jewelers with snooty sale's people only out to make a buck. It was the kind of place "unique" individuals would shop at. And the owner was the most unique. A complete fruitcake.

The lady had sported long gray hair down to her ass, sleek and shiny. Eccentric rings adorned every one of her old fingers; her dress, wildly colored with foreign patterns, had swished on the ground. Frankly, she resembled a gypsy.

The woman had been in the back when he'd entered so Reid had gotten to look at the merchandise in quiet for a time. He skipped over the large baubles, the gold, until he came to a few that caught his eye. One in particular.

"_A beautiful one, yes?" the accented voice startled him. She immediately took it out of the glass case and set it before him. "An anniversary?"_

_Pause. "I'm uh…an engagement."_

"_May I see your ID?"_

"_What?" He nearly dropped an F-bomb out of pure bafflement._

_The woman laughed musically. "I jest you. It is just that you are so young."_

"_What's my age got to do with anything?"_

_She turned serious. "That is true."_

_Reid had tried to ignore her as he observed the ring. There were two others that he could imagine Rowan wearing…_

"_What is she like? This young lady you are proposing to? Have you a picture?"_

_For some reason he took a picture of Rowan out of his wallet and showed it to the lady. She smiled and nodded._

"_An Individual, yes," she mused. "Natural. Mysterious. Pure of heart, I can see it in her smile." The woman smiled slightly and returned the pocket photo. "Choosing a ring for such an occasion is not to be taken lightly; especially for someone as her." Her nails tapped against the counter. "And her hands, how would you describe them?"_

"_Are you serious?"_

"_Do you want the right ring or do you not?" she rebutted. "I have been doing this for over forty years."_

_She looked deeply into his eyes and Reid felt himself trusting her. The eyes of the lady reminded him of Nana, oddly; deep, knowing, wise, kind. So, he spoke candidly. Sure, he could talk all day about Rowan, even about such seemingly insignificant things, like her hands._

"_Her hands are soft," he began. "Delicate, but not like…"_

"_Fragile?" she provided._

"_Yeah. And she works, so her palms have a kind of…" Shit, what's the word?_

"_Durability? Yet feminine." the lady once again suggested._

"_Yeah…" he trailed off. "You getting all this from the picture?"_

_She smiled enigmatically. "Go on."_

"_She always keeps her nails perfect. Not with that fake shit, but clean, filed."_

"_Her one vanity."_

_He was over being surprised at her acuity. "Exactly."_

_The woman remained quiet for a few moments. "I have just the thing." She went in the back and returned a few minutes later. She set the midnight blue box in front of him. _

_When Reid opened it he knew that this was it. He took it out of the box and observed it closely; having a whole Frodo Baggins moment when the hobbit hears the ring whispering and heating up. It had something inscribed on the inside._

"_Does she know Latin?" the woman questioned._

_He nodded. "She reads and writes Latin, yeah."_

"_Then she shall know what it says."_

_Reid bought it that day._

_Before he left, he said, "You know, you should think about making your link more accessible."_

"_My link?"_

"_On the website I got this address from."_

"_I don't advertise at all."_

"_But I saw it," Reid insisted._

_The lady shook her head. "I've never advertised my shop. And certainly never on the Internet."_

_The blond sighed. "Okay. Well…thanks."_

"_I hope you and Rowan have a happy life, Reid."_

_It wasn't until he was driving home that he realized he was pretty sure he had never told her his name. And for certain, he'd never told her Rowan's name._

"All done," Rowan said as she came out of the tent. The sun was going down now, and Reid had the fire roaring.

"Should we roast weenies now or later?"

"No weenie roasting."

She laughed. "You're a little too sensitive about your privates, Reid."

"Don't use the world 'little' when referring to my privates." He grabbed her up, lifting her feet off the ground and nibbled her neck playfully. "You should know better than anyone about my…privates."

"Hmm…I don't know…I bet some other girls could say a thing or two," Rowan teased.

He frowned comically. "Don't remind me of my past indiscretions."

"Ooh, big word."

"Big!" He nodded with approval. "Now we're getting somewhere."

Neither one of them were hungry. Reid especially, he couldn't think about eating because he was nervous.

"You know, I could use a swim."

"Um…isn't the water a little cold?"

"Nah." His eyes sparked, the lake bubbled for a second, then settled. Shoes off, he walked in an inch or two. "Like a spa."

The blond stripped.

"You're not seriously going to skinny dip are you?" Rowan asked incredulously. "Eyes are everywhere."

"What-?" His inquiry was truncated. For the first time he realized that eyes actually were everywhere. Squirrels, birds, raccoons, probably some other critters, too. All coming out of their hiding places because they sensed a human familiar. "Shit. You attract them."

Rowan shrugged, wasn't surprised when Reid stripped down anyway and went into lake. She laughed a little, and shook her head. Rowan sat watching, unable to help being on edge when her boyfriend was in the lake. It wasn't an overly large one, but it was a lake nonetheless. She didn't sense any ghosts.

"Come in, Rowan," he called.

"Are you on crack?" she exclaimed.

Reid laughed. "Please?" This was walking a fine line, asking Rowan to get in the lake. She wouldn't even go near a pool. "I promise nothing will happen to you."

"N-O. I can say it in five different languages if you want."

"I promise, Row," he said, serious. "I'll hold onto you the entire time. I'd have to considering what I want to do to you in here."

"Ha! The shower isn't good enough for you?"

Reid pouted. "Pretty please? _My_ one place on the list."

Oh, that was low, she thought. Reid accommodated her wherever she wanted. But the lake of all places he wanted to get frisky? "I don't have a bathing suit," she said lamely.

"It would have come off anyway."

Her jaw clenched as she sat tailor fashion by the fire. This was just…crappy. Reid had brought her out here for a romantic getaway with plans on making love to her out in the open like _she_ wanted. She blew out a huffy breath, forfeiting. She undressed insanely slow, more apprehensive about getting in the water than the fact that she was buck naked in such a conspicuous setting.

Reid met her more than halfway so he could carry her.

"Can't breathe, Row," he told her, voice raspy. She was holding on tightly.

"Sorry." Her eyes were closed, and she tensed when she felt her body hit the water.

When they were in far enough, Reid repositioned her so her back was against his chest and his arms could go around her waist securely.

"See? Not so bad," he said. His mouth was right next to her ear as he moved his legs gracefully under the water, propelling them further out.

"So you say," she muttered. "Of course I had to fall in love with freaking merman."

Reid laughed. Even holding her like this he could feel her shaking from genuine fear. He meant it when he said that nothing would happen to her so long as she was in his arms though. He kissed the nape of her neck gently, letting the tip of his tongue caress her skin. He maneuvered her back around, and Rowan wrapped her legs around his waist and arms around his neck for purchase. The water lapped around their bodies as they kissed.

The moonlight was hitting the surface of water and the stars were clear in these parts.

As long as she kept kissing Reid, staying this close, Rowan could almost forget she was in the middle of a dark lake. The fact was further pushed from her mind when Reid slipped inside of her, connecting them in a whole other way. They had no support but tightening her thighs around his waist with his hands on her hips they made love.

"We can do this forever, Row," he said, slightly breathless.

She made a quivery sound of agreement.

"Marry me, and we can."

Reid had mentioned marriage before but it was something in how he said it tonight that caused Rowan to still and meet his eyes. Only an inch of space separated their faces.

"What?"

"Marry me," he said again.

She blinked, eyes shifted side to side uncertainly, chuckled uncomfortably. "This is a little spur of the moment, isn't it?"

He shook his head. "No. I'm asking. Will you marry me?"

Her mouth opened, closed. "I… You mean… You _planned_ this?"

"Yeah. This isn't me getting caught in the moment. I want you. Forever."

Quiet. "Take me back," she ordered quietly. "Please. Right now."

Reid didn't say anything as he swam them back to land. When her feet hit solid ground she hurried for a blanket and wrapped it around herself. He did the same, albeit without haste. He sat down next to her in front of the still blazing fire. Before he could say anything else, she kissed him, captured his lips, moved him on his back and straddled him.

Rowan wasn't sure if she was stalling or becoming momentarily unhinged. She just needed something to expend this chaos inside of her. Shucking the blanket, she positioned herself and slid down on him. He accepted her zeal, matching her rhythm, meeting her every thrust.

When she came her head was back and her eyes were open. She took in the stars, so clear and numerous. And she was up there with them until her body shuddered one last time, and she felt Reid give, too.

Rowan rested atop him. Chest heaving.

"You mean it?" she asked, her voice a whisper.

"Yeah. I mean it."

"Then yes."

----

The drive back to Ipswich was one taut with expectation. Rowan wore the ring Reid had given her with the inscription _Aeternus Eternus_ inside the band. Roughly translated as eternal, everlasting, without end. They agreed to tell their families separately. Today.

Rowan took a breath when they got to her house. "Okay."

He smiled. "My parents are home now, too."

She laughed nervously. "I'm going to put this back in its box for now." Carefully, she took off the ring.

After another minute they said goodbye and Rowan walked into her house, set her bags down. The animals ran to meet her. Ernie had been sorely disappointed that he hadn't gotten to go on the trip when he saw the camping supplies, but by his enthusiastic greeting the unintentional slight was forgotten.

"Rowan?" Evelyn called, a moment later appeared in the foyer.

"Hey, Mom."

"How was the outdoors?" her mother asked after giving her daughter a kiss on the cheek.

"Good. I'll tell you about it after I get cleaned up." She went upstairs to take a shower, rehearsing in her mind how she would tell her mom and Caleb. They would be surprised, definitely, but happy for her.

----

Meredith Garwin put her hand over her heart. "Dear God, Reid, is she pregnant?"

"No!" Reid exclaimed.

Joseph Garwin sat next to his wife, across from his son. He wasn't smiling.

"You think that's why I would marry her?" Reid demanded.

"Of course not," Meredith denied. "We just-"

"Have you thought this through?" Joseph interjected.

"Yes. For a long time."

The room went quiet. Reid had taken the blunt road. Mom, Dad, I asked Rowan to marry me and she said yes. And this was what he was getting in return.

"I don't get it," he said. "You guys love Rowan."

"We do!" his mom assured him.

"Any other daughter-in-law would be unacceptable," Joseph said.

"Then why don't you want me to marry her?"

"We don't object to your marrying Rowan, it's the-"

"Timing," Meredith finished. "You're only eighteen."

Reid put his hands up to silence any more explanations. "Listen, please. I know you think this is typical Reid blurting stuff out asking Rowan to marry me. But I love her. And I want to spend my life with her." He went on, "I can't count how many times I have literally almost lost Rowan." Both of his parents' faces softened at this. "I don't want to miss any experiences with her if I can help it."

Meredith and Joseph eyed one another, exchanging a silent conversation how a husband and wife do.

"That's very mature, son," Joseph said approvingly. "I didn't expect for you to put it quite like that."

"It's wonderful, sweetheart," his mom said, eyes shiny with unshed tears. Then she clapped her hands. "Well, then! There are so many plans to make. The guest list, I'll need names of your associates, Joe."

"Wait, wait!" Reid called a time-out. "We don't want a big wedding. You know how large crowds make Rowan nervous."

"Reid, I cannot not invite the people I do business with. This is Garwin and Danvers, people expect things for a wedding. It will be big news whether you like it or not."

He hadn't thought about that aspect of it. Still: "We don't want a bunch of strangers around."

Joseph was about to object once again, but Meredith, the pragmatic woman said, "How about a compromise? A modest wedding, how you and Rowan agree, but let us say after your honeymoon we can have a get together in the newlywed's honor. Hmm?"

"Sounds doable," Joseph conceded. He turned to his son.

"I'll talk to Rowan about it."

Meredith asked, "Has she told her mother yet?"

----

Rowan sat there, waiting for one of them to say something.

"Over my dead body!" Evelyn finally announced.

"What?" Rowan exclaimed. "Why?"

"You are entirely too young. And do not even get me started on the fact that it is Reid Garwin who proposed." She had hoped this relationship between her daughter and Reid would break up somehow. But now the young fool had gone and asked her only daughter to marry him.

"What's wrong with Reid?" Rowan demanded. "Caleb? Are you going to say something?"

He remained sitting, flabbergasted. "Marriage? Rowan?"

Rowan threw her hands up in bewilderment. "I don't get it."

"There is nothing to get," her mother said. "You are not marrying him. Not now. Not ever. He will ruin your life with his reckless using."

"He isn't reckless with his powers," Rowan defended.

Evelyn scoffed. "Please! He's been using without thinking since he was thirteen. The only reason he isn't far gone now is because he tricked you into that blood bond."

"He didn't trick me. It was _my_ idea." Rowan really didn't want to put her brother in the middle of this, but Evelyn was being so unreasonable. "Cay? Tell her Reid isn't careless with his Power. You know it."

Caleb looked at his little sister, his _little sister_. For God's sake, how could Reid go and ask her to marry him like this? It was typical of him, taking Rowan out on some romantic getaway and popping the question like it was some casual thing. His resentment stopped him from backing Rowan up on Reid's using, or lack of it.

"You're too young," he finally said, unable to meet her gaze as he said so, knowing his stance was like a knife in the heart to her.

Rowan deflated and tears filled her eyes. "But…I wanted you to give me away, Caleb."

His heart clenched, but he kept firm. "That's not happening, Rowan."

"It's settled," Evelyn stated.

----

The rest of spring break was pretty fraught with tension. Rowan wasn't speaking to her mother or brother. Reid was angry with Caleb for taking his mom's side. Caleb was pissed at Reid for starting this whole thing. The Garwins were offended by Evelyn's objection to Rowan marrying their son. Pinkie and Maria were excited for Rowan, and after being initially stunned, Pogue, Tyler, and Hunter had congratulated Reid and Rowan even though their engagement was a bit rocky.

So school began at Spenser with division in their group. Rowan was more sad than anything else, especially because of Caleb's displeasure. How could he not support her? Not want to walk her down the aisle and give her away?

"Whoa, what's with the long face?"

Aaron surprised her. She was stocking books, so lost in her thoughts that nothing had broken through her depression.

"Nothing," she said in a defeated tone.

"Yeah, right, Danvers," he snorted. Aaron tipped his head to the side. "Seriously."

Big brown eyes broke through his already shoddy defenses. For the most part he'd stopped trying to keep his façade up around Rowan, she always saw through it anyway. They sat down at a table.

She sighed. "Reid asked me to marry him."

Shock. Quiet. Then he laughed. It was cut off by her miserable expression. "Okay… You said no?"

"No! I said yes. But…my mom and Caleb aren't happy."

He nodded, slowly, understanding. Holy shit, Reid asking Rowan to marry him. He couldn't have been more surprised if they had…broken up. His idea of marriage was a negative one, not having had a positive example growing up.

"So get married anyway," he told her. "Elope."

Rowan shook her head. "I'm seventeen. I'd still need my mom's permission. And I don't want to elope. I want my family to be there. Cay's supposed to walk me down the aisle."

He scratched his head; not too harshly. His hair was beginning to fall out. After his second treatment his sickness hadn't been so bad because of the teas, incense and shit Rowan had given him. After his crying jag he'd been exhausted. A long conversation with his mother, stilted, had ensued, and she had cried. His parents were officially getting a divorce, throwing away the pretense of marriage counseling. Oddly, some pod person had invaded his mom's body because she was going through counseling by herself, working through some issues, and trying to better her relationship with him. Aaron had been suspicious at first, venting his resentment to Rowan; until he saw that, maybe, his mom was being sincere. Time would tell.

Aaron wished he knew what to tell Rowan; especially after all she'd done for him. He had finally admitted that he had real feelings for her, knowing that nothing would come of it.

"Have you ever been in love?" she asked him.

He chuckled dryly. "Please."

"Not even with Kira?"

He paused, thought about it. "Nah." He'd barely exchanged two sentences with her since that night at the Dells, and he and Brody were nonexistent to each other. Christ, anger at Brody, and fear for Rowan had consumed him that night when he saw what Brody was about to do to her. He'd jumped in there like a freaking knight in shining armor without thinking twice.

"Maybe one day," she said with a small smile.

He pulled a face. "Sure," he drawled. "Like you and Garwin?"

Rowan shook her head. "No, like something of your own. Something you helped create with a person you love and trust and who loves you back like you deserve."

"I'm not holding my breath." Then Aaron uttered without thinking, "Besides, you set the bar kind of high, Rowan." _Oh, great, Aaron, throw your heart at her, idiot._

The meaning of his words took a moment to sink in, and she blushed deep red. "I believe you will. You deserve it."

Aaron rolled his eyes, grinning ruefully.

----

Caleb and Judy were doing homework in her dorm room, Caleb not entirely paying attention. She didn't blame him. He had only been able to speak to her on the phone about his sister, because she was with her parents over spring break. When she returned, he was still stewing.

"She's too young," he saying again. "What the hell are they thinking?"

"Caleb? Can I tell you what I think?"

"Of course."

"Okay." She set down her pencil. "Are you sure that, maybe…it's _you_ who isn't ready?"

His brow furrowed. "What do you mean?"

"Well…you trust Reid with your sister, don't you? I know you said it took you a while, but you came around."

Caleb nodded. "I suppose."

"Reid's obviously sincere in wanting to spend his life with Rowan. It's the ultimate step; when they take their vows, they become first with one another. All your life you've been first with Rowan. Her ultimate protector and you're not ready to give that up."

He didn't say anything for a moment, then sighed heavily. "You're right." He did trust Reid with Rowan, and knew his proposal was sincere and heartfelt. "Row's my baby sister," he said to Judy. "After my dad died, and my mom checked out, it was me she went to for everything. When she had a nightmare she yelled for me, or when she was sick it was me she reached out for. When she was a kid, she would always try to stay up past her nap time so she could see me when I got home from school."

Judy smiled.

"And her first word? 'Cay.' Not mama or dada. But my name."

"And if they get married, it will be Reid who will be there first," she said softly. "Caleb, Rowan's not going to love or want you any less if she's married. You're _always_ going be her big brother."

Caleb was already smacking himself for his stupidity. But he was grateful for Judy. "I knew there was a reason I'm crazy about you."

Judy kissed him. "Show me how crazy. Then you can go make things right with your sister."

----

The bell tinkled and Reid looked up from the table he was wiping. Caleb had walked into Beans. Their eyes met; the blond ignored him until he felt an appropriate amount of time had passed.

"What do you want?" Reid asked behind the counter.

"Can we talk?"

Reid tapped his fingers, eyed the five customers who were actually minding their own business. "I guess." They sat down at a table.

Caleb sighed, not quite sure where to start. Rowan was at the humane society but he thought he needed to clear things up with Reid first.

"What're you doing here? Come to tell me some more how unsuitable I am for your sister?"

The elder Son didn't take the bait, figuring he deserved a few snarky remarks. "No. I wanted to apologize for being a jackass."

"I'm sorry, can you say that again? I didn't hear you," Reid mocked.

Jaw clenched, he repeated, "I apologize."

"For…?"

"Being a jackass, all right?"

Reid nodded. "Okay. So you've apologized." Turning serious, he said, "Big deal."

"It's not that I don't trust you with Rowan," Caleb blurted.

"You just think I won't be able to take care of her."

"Damn it, I know you can, that's why I'm…" Caleb trailed off, already frustrated. He ran his hand down his face, averted his eyes towards the window that looked out into the streets of Ipswich.

The blond dialed down his hostility. Backed off so his friend could collect his thoughts.

Taking a breath, Caleb started over. "She's my little sister, Reid. Row's always had you guys around, too, but I've always been number one. And when you get married…It'll be you first for her."

Silence, then: "You're jealous," Reid stated, stunned. He chuckled dryly. "You think Row's going to forget you or something?" The sheepish expression on Caleb's face answered his question. "Hell. You're always going to be big brother Caleb. She's going to call you everyday to make sure you're eating right, she'll call you to say goodnight, most likely; send you random pictures of the animals. And whether you're in a dorm or apartment next year she'll be there decorating it."

Caleb laughed. "I guess it's me who's not ready. My entire life, through everything, Rowan's been my one constant."

Reid nodded. Understanding. "She still will be. If something bad happens, and I need back up, you'll be the first one I'll call."

He half-smiled. "Thanks."

"Does this mean you're good with me marrying Rowan?"

"Yeah."

"What about your mom?"

Caleb pulled a face.

----

Evelyn was furious that her son had changed his mind. She was still wholly against her daughter marrying. They wanted to have the ceremony a couple of weeks after graduation, then go on their honeymoon for the summer before starting college. Apparently, Reid had already been looking for homes the past several months.

At the end of April, Rowan's mom's ire had not dissipated, refusing to give her daughter permission to marry like it was ancient times and she had carte blanche over marriage proceedings.

Her mom's lack of support depressed Rowan, but when Caleb had spoken to her about his change of heart, she could not have been more happy, for his approval meant so much to her, even more than her mother's. She wore her ring everyday now; at school the reception was one of envy, speculation, or good-natured congratulations. Wagers went around that their engagement would not last to graduation.

Reid, despite all this, still saw Rowan's lack of cheer because of Evelyn. He wasn't standing for it. The woman had pissed him off and tried his naturally sparse patience.

----

Reid rang the doorbell to the Danvers' estate. Normally he would have just walked in, but these were formal proceedings. Rowan and Caleb were both out; so this provided the perfect opportunity to have a little tête-à-tête with Evelyn Corrine Danvers.

When she answered the door her amber eyes gazed imperiously at his blue ones.

"Mrs. Danvers."

"Reid." Only when Ernie tried to nose past her did she step aside to let him in. She walked to the sitting room without inviting him along and took her regular seat.

He sat across from her.

"I assume you came about Rowan," she spoke. "I haven't changed my mind."

"Because you don't approve of me." There was a slight mocking edge to his voice. He wasn't cowed by Evelyn.

"I don't want my daughter to have to live in the shadow of your Power."

"Isn't that for her to decide?"

"I'll prevent it if I can. I won't have Rowan disappointed when you become addicted and decrepit because of your weakness."

"Who the hell do you think you are?" he spat. "What makes you so sure that I'll become addicted?"

"You're reckless. You always have been."

"Not with my Power. I haven't been."

Bitterly she said, "Because you tricked her into blood bonding with you."

Red flushed his cheeks. "I didn't trick her. I've never taken advantage of her. Ever."

"This conversation is over." She stood. "She won't be bound to someone who will only disappointment and cause her grief."

"Hold up. Bound to someone who will disappoint her and cause her grief? Woman, that's the pot calling the kettle black, don't you think?" All pretense of propriety was gone. He could only take insults for so long.

"Pardon?"

"You're so sure that I'll let Rowan down. What about you? _I've_ been there for her; we all have, more than you. When she was having a nightmare, or having panic attacks at school, or work; and I was sitting with her in the hospital; where the hell were you?" He ticked off on his fingers, "Either getting shit faced, already shit faced, or passed out because you got shit faced. And you have the fucking nerve to call _me_ unreliable and incapable of taking care of Rowan?"

"How dare you!"

He went on, "And not once have I ever heard Rowan speak a word against you. She never asked you for anything. Now you're just letting her down again, when all she wants is for you to be happy for her." Reid was practically in her face now, not yelling, but his voice was firm and determined. "Lady, you will give Rowan permission to marry me. And if I have to drag you to the ceremony kicking and screaming, you better bet your ass that I will."

Evelyn had no choice but to let his words sink in.

"I love Rowan more than anything, Mrs. Danvers," Reid told her. "I know I'm not perfect, but I'll die before I ever intentionally let her down."

She blinked. Despite his tirade her back was still straight. "Young man, you _will_ die if you let her down. Because I will wring your neck if you do."

A slow grin spread on his face. "I'm glad we had this talk, Mrs. Danvers."

----

Reid and Evelyn's conversation was never reiterated, but Rowan was grateful for whatever he had said to her mother. After Evelyn came around, the wedding planning went into full swing. Meredith and Evelyn collaborated, thick as thieves. Rowan wanted the wedding held at the Danvers' estate, nothing opulent, small and intimate. The invite list came to 42. Tyler was Reid's best man, and Maria was Rowan's maid of honor. Bubbe, Bruce Lee, and Ernie would be walking down the aisle, as well. Ernie would be the ring bearer, as sadly, Bruce Lee could not be trusted with the rings.

Meredith and Evelyn were aghast when Rowan said that the bridesmaids could wear what they wanted, insisting that color coordination was key. Evelyn knew the sort of things her daughter would prefer; so for setting designs, napkins, invitations, food, candles, lighting, drinks, etc; she chose a few then consulted her daughter for a final decision.

Like the Garwins, Evelyn wasn't initially thrilled about having a "small" wedding. Hers had been opulent and grand. At least she approved of Rowan's choice of wedding dress. It was vintage, not too casual, not too fancy.

Reid was overwhelmed that even a small wedding could have so many nuts and bolts. The worst part was getting fitted for his tuxedo, but his complaining was at a minimum because of the occasion. He didn't want to look like a bum groom. Ernie and Bruce Lee had been present for the fitting, much to the tailors' bafflement. The animals had to have their tuxes comfortable.

Plans went on during school as they studied for tests, then finals, prepared for graduation. It was all coming together. The days were being counted down.

----

The day after their high school graduation, it was exactly two weeks until the wedding. Rowan though, just for good measure, thought that she and Reid shouldn't sleep together until after the I Do's.

On Wednesday evening, Rowan was upstairs getting some final alterations on her wedding dress. Evelyn's insistence. Caleb knocked, entered the room, and saw his sister in her dress for the first time. A smile lit his face.

Rowan looked at him uncertainly. "I look okay?" she asked.

"You look beautiful, Lil Bit," he said.

"All right," their mother declared. "Now it has to be cleaned and pressed, and stowed away until…" Her voice cracked, she fanned her face. Her kids chuckled.

After some hugs, they left the room so Rowan could undress. Just as she was back in her regular clothes, the doorbell rang. Rowan knew someone had answered the door, but it was oddly quiet. So she went downstairs to see who it was. Halfway down the flight, Rowan stopped cold, yet her heart thudded erratically.

"Abel."

* * *

**All righty. :) The return of Abel. It was inevitable. Will Rowan break off the wedding and reunite with Abel? Continue to read.**

**Love to know what you think. Review, _por favor_.  
**

**I have a picture of Rowan's ring and wedding dress on my profile. But you'll have to copy and paste because I can't make the link clickable. :(**

**Something is amiss. O_O  
**


	29. Keeper of My Heart

**XXIX. Keeper of My Heart**

_No love, no friendship  
can cross the path of our destiny  
without leaving some mark on it forever.  
-Francois Mauriac_

"What are you so worried about?" Tyler demanded.

He and Reid were shooting a game of pool at Nicky's. It was Friday night; all were there except for Rowan. Who was out with Abel.

Reid shot him a sharply incredulous look. "What am I worried about?" He opened his arms, gesturing the crowd. "Someone is missing here, Baby Boy!"

Tyler sighed. For the past three days Reid had done nothing but brood about Abel's return to Ipswich. Rowan and the werewolf had spent most of their free time together catching up.

"Row doesn't always come with us to Nicky's."

"The last time she didn't she was out on a date with Abel," Reid exclaimed irrationally, knowing it wasn't entirely true. But it did bear resemblance to that very long ago night, Rowan and Abel's first date.

He could only imagine where they were now. It was a little past ten. He took out his cell phone, and called Rowan.

----

Rowan laughed. Their conversation was interrupted by the vibration of her phone. She sighed good-naturedly, knowing who it was.

"Hey, Reid," she said.

Abel tuned it out. With his heightened sense of hearing he could easily eavesdrop but didn't want to. Reid always called at least once whenever they were out together. Abel really couldn't blame the guy. The blond had finally gotten what he wanted, Rowan; and here Abel came along without notice, back from his long sojourn.

"Okay…Okay. Love you, too." Rowan hung up. "Sorry."

"It's all right," he said, meaning it.

They were at a small coffee shop in the city. Not the one in Ipswich. Abel couldn't stop looking at her. There was something more womanly about Rowan now, two years could do that, he supposed. In only three days they had caught one another up on everything that had gone on in their lives since they'd been separated. Rowan told him about being Keeper, Chase, her brothers and Reid ascending, going back to the seventeenth century and almost being burned at the stake. She talked about her dad dying, the hows and whys; and the passing of her beloved Nana.

In turn Abel told her what he and his older brother Asher had been up to. They had been told they had a journey to complete, on which they would meet people who were unjustly treated by their father Levi Marrok in the Pack in Alaska. Levi's father had been a tyrannical leader, passing on that trait to his offspring. It was like fate that Abel and Asher happened upon the wronged people on their trails. One of them being Levi's younger brother, someone neither of them had known about.

His name was Andrew Marrok, and his sin had been defying his father. Falling in love with a bastard half-breed female. Andrew didn't give her up, so they were shunned from the Pack and relocated to Washington. There Andrew had taken in other werewolves with no place to go. When Abel told him that Levi was dead, by rights it meant that property holdings would go to Andrew. Andrew and his family came along to Alaska to take back what was theirs by rights.

Abel and Asher set about making the Pack a better place to be. Asher wanted to clear his name; having been accused of killing their mother Rebecca, when in truth it was Levi who had done so. One of Asher's staunch supporters had been his unrequited love, Amelia Carlyle.

Now, things were working differently in their Pack. Amelia and Asher were married, and now they had come back so Asher could introduce himself to his human birth father's family.

"How'd they take it?" Rowan asked him now.

Abel smiled. "Good. They were ecstatic. Apparently Asher is the spitting image of his father."

Rowan's face glowed with happiness. "That's great."

Abel's heart beat erratically. She was so beautiful. He had thought about her everyday he was gone, wanting so badly to call her or write, but it would have put her in danger. Some nights he lay awake entertaining the idea that when it was safe he would return to Ipswich and they would pick up where they left off and never be parted again. But she was engaged, to Reid. Abel was happy for her, but disappointed. When Rowan looked at him though Abel thought that maybe there was a part of her that still loved him.

They lulled into a silence. "When…" Rowan stalled. "When do you have to go back?"

He didn't answer for a moment. "We only planned to stay for a week."

She nodded, eyes averted. Rowan couldn't lie. Old feelings had resurfaced when Abel showed up at her door. He was still the same big, strong individual she'd known and loved; but there was a peace about him now, a faith in life restored that had been sorely lacking when she first met him.

"Let's go for a walk," he said.

"All right."

Their walk was back at the Dells. He knew he would have to take her home soon anyway. Each time he had to leave her was a bittersweet goodbye.

The waves crashed against the cliffs, and salty air whished past them as they walked along the sand. Rowan took off her flats, letting the sand seep between her dainty toes. She shivered and Abel draped his bomber jacket around her shoulders.

Eventually they stopped, sat down, close, shoulder to shoulder. Rowan let him put his arm around her, tucking her into the warmth of his body. It brought back sweet memories.

"Rowan." Abel whispered her name. His lips brushed against the top of her head.

When she raised her head to meet his eyes their faces were less than an inch apart. Rowan had never been tempted to stray from Reid, not once. She had never been tempted when she was with Hunter, and when she'd been with Abel no notions of betrayal had sullied her mind.

Now…Abel was back. She still felt tenderness and a certain sort of love that Rowan had difficulty placing. He was so close. She smelled his earthiness, felt the warmth of his body…By the look in his eyes she knew he was thinking, too, about that night after the spring dance, back at his apartment. When they had almost made love. Almost.

Reid's face filled her mind. She was engaged to him now, loved him with all of her heart and soul, knew she was going to marry him and spend the rest of her life with him.

Then, Abel smiled softly, ruefully, as if he could read her mind.

"That's why we can't help but love you," he whispered.

----

Reid was listening for the door. He heard the slight commotion of the animals, then Rowan treading softly down the hallway to her bedroom. Where he was sitting.

The light flipped on.

"Reid," she startled. "What are you doing here?" The clock read four past midnight.

"Waiting for you."

Rowan closed the door.

"Have fun?" he asked.

She heard the edge in his voice he was trying hard to conceal. Abel coming back had been a blow to him although Rowan told him he had nothing to worry about, which was true. She sat next to him on the bed, rested her chin on his drooped shoulder.

"You're doing it again."

"What?"

"Being moody."

"I have a good reason."

"Do you?" she questioned.

Reid sighed, got up, ran his fingers through his hair. "I wish I believed I didn't."

"You don't trust me?"

Pause. "No, I do."

Rowan bit her lip. "It doesn't sound like it."

He tried to shut out the hurt in her voice. "I can't help it," he confided through clenched teeth.

"Why?"

"Because…" He grappled for the words. "Because you still have his goddamned sweater!"

Her eyes widened, mouth partially opened in surprise. "You-"

"Yes, I went through your drawers. It was a while ago though. It's in the last one along with the rest of the stuff you kept while you were…together."

"I still have T-shirts from when I was with Hunter. And the ticket stubs and receipts from our first date together."

"But that's _Hunter_!"

"I don't understand the difference," she exclaimed, finally losing her patience.

"I _know_ where you stand with Hunter," Reid told her. "I always have. _You_ know where you stand with Hunter. I can take the two of you holding hands, and hugging, and getting mistaken for a couple because _I_ know the both of you know exactly who and what you are to each other." He took a breath. "I hate being jealous, Row. I do. I can't help it. I think about you and Abel out there together, and I…"

"I would never cheat on you Reid."

"Have you thought about it?" he blurted.

The question was so rapid and direct that it took her aback, and Reid took her pause of astonishment for hesitation of a positive answer.

"I knew it," he seethed. "I knew if he came back you would fall in love with him again."

"I'm not!" Rowan insisted.

"You feel no love for him?" he demanded.

She opened her mouth, closed it, then said softly, "I was trying to figure it out. What it is exactly. There's something, but…I'm not sure how to word it."

Reid groaned in frustration, plopped down on a chair. "Fuck, I wish he had stayed away. He's ruining everything."

"He's not ruining anything!" Rowan would have been angry if not for Reid's genuine confliction. No one liked to be unsure of their love. She kneeled in front of him. "You have nothing to worry about, Reid."

He didn't answer. Just hung his head and didn't meet her gaze. He swallowed a lump in his throat. "I need to leave," he said hoarsely, stood up so abruptly she almost fell.

"Reid, don't go," she said.

"I don't want to talk."

She grabbed his arm and tugged him toward her. "What are you doing?" He still wouldn't look at her. "Look at me!"

He did. But his eyes were bleak, near defeat.

"I love you," she told him.

"Do you love him?" he asked.

Rowan didn't answer fast enough for his liking. He turned on his heel and left.

----

It wasn't quite the butt-crack of dawn, but it was pretty damned close when Abel heard a very rude knock on his hotel room door. Obviously room service didn't heed the DO NOT DISTURB sign on the doorknob, either that or they were vampires making their final cleaning rounds before the sun came up.

The person at the door met none of Abel's descriptions.

"You know, can't say I'm surprised," Abel said in a raspy voice.

A rather ragged Reid Garwin walked in the hotel room. Looking around.

"Uh…Rowan's not here, dude," Abel cracked, and got the evil eye in return. Apparently it was too early for jokes; that was fine, he wasn't his best at this hour anyway. The werewolf also didn't ask how Reid found his room number. He was a warlock, enough said.

"I have no fucking clue what I'm doing here," said warlock mumbled.

"Me neither," Abel added. "Do you know what time it is?" He plopped down on the edge of his cushy bed.

"What'd I do?" Reid asked snidely. "Interrupt your dreams of my wife?"

"Isn't the wedding next week?"

Reid's eyes bulged. There was visible restraint in his body language. Abel wasn't the least bit frightened; he could take Reid. Not that he wanted to. Abel sighed.

"This is obviously about Rowan," Abel said. "So out with it."

The blond turned towards the window, staring at the dregs of night. Since he left Rowan, he'd just been wandering like some aimless transient.

"You're still in love with her," Reid finally said.

"Yes," Abel replied succinctly. "Can you blame me?"

"Guess not," he said quietly. Then, more vehemently, "But you had your chance. So, what the hell are you doing here?" Blue eyes flashed.

"I didn't know you two were engaged. And do I need someone's permission to see her again? It's been two fucking years." Abel was standing now, though he did not approach the equally edgy Reid.

"You didn't call. You didn't write."

"I couldn't," Abel defended himself. "You don't think I wanted to? I would have done anything to hear her voice! I thought about Rowan everyday and night." He averted his face.

Reid lost some of his indignation; Abel was tormented, that was obvious.

"Look, seriously," Abel said, frustrated. "What the hell are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with Rowan?" Quiet. "You had a fight with her, didn't you?" He scoffed. "Accused her of still being in love with me?"

"Isn't she?" Reid snapped.

"I wish."

That stopped Reid. He crossed his arms over his chest.

Abel sat back down, ran his hand down his face. "Believe me, if she was still in love with me, I'd take her," – his voice rose – "and mate with her. And when werewolves _mate_," – he let the true meaning of that sink into Reid's mind – "they mate for life."

"Do not go there," Reid warned.

Abel smirked. "Don't like that, do you?"

"Fuck, no!"

They both went quiet.

"You told me to take care of her before you left," Reid reminded him.

"And you did," Abel said, no rebuke or sarcasm in his tone.

"Why didn't you ask her to go with you?" Reid questioned. "She would have."

His brow hitched. "I think she would have, too. Don't get me wrong, I would have protected her with my life if she was by my side. But… As much as I wanted her with me, I knew her place was here."

Reid could see part of him regretted that.

"She saved my life," Abel confided. "Kept me going."

"Same here."

Both men stared at one another. Saw the depth of their love for Rowan in each.

"I know her heart is yours," Abel told him.

Reid smiled slightly. "Yeah." Then, "Row has a big heart."

"Then you got your hands full."

----

Rowan thought about it all night. And when the sun hit the horizon, it dawned on her.

She could still have love for Abel, and be in love with Reid. Did one ever truly stop loving someone? Did one's heart just forget about the impact of such a love, even if that love shifted into something more platonic? Such as with Hunter. Rowan had been in love with him, but when he had told her he was gay, they realized that the love they had for one another was deep, sincere, and unflinching; yet it was not the sort of love that lovers shared.

And that was how she felt about Abel. She just didn't have the words to explain that to Reid hours before.

Rowan got up, showered, dressed; fed the kids.

Reid had work today, so she would meet him after. She had a couple of things she needed to do in town anyway.

----

For the first time in his life, Reid's face didn't scrunch in distaste upon seeing Aaron Abbot. He walked into Beans straight towards the counter. The blond didn't make any cracks about Abbot's newly shaved head. He did possess _some_ tact.

"Coffee," Aaron said.

"Decaf?"

Aaron paused, grumbled. "Yeah." The doctor had advised him to lay off the caffeine, eat healthy, yadda-yadda. Obviously Garwin wasn't going to let him forget it, intentional or not.

It was early, two people in the shop. Aaron stayed at the counter while Reid prepared his drink. Both males were keenly aware of the other's presence.

Aaron cleared his throat. "I'm not apologizing." _Sorry._

Reid grimaced. "Yeah, whatever." _Apology accepted._

He set the coffee on the counter, Aaron paid.

"You're still a dick," Reid uttered.

Aaron smirked. "The feeling's mutual Garwin."

The day went smoothly. Reid clocked out at three-thirty. Rowan entered just as he was leaving.

She smiled at him hesitantly. "Hi."

He grinned. "Hi."

Reid took her hand. They drove to the Dells with the top down on his Mustang. He parked in a secluded area with a clear view of the ocean.

"I uh…talked to Abel," he said. By her astonished expression it was obvious that the werewolf hadn't told her anything about their discussion. "We cleared the air."

"Cleared the air," Rowan repeated.

He nodded.

Rowan took his hand. "I figured out the words I didn't know how to say last night. You said that me and Hunter know where we stand with each other. You're right. I love Hunter. Just not the same way I love you. And I realized that I can still feel love for Abel, even though it's not the same way I love you."

Reid processed that. "He means a lot to you." There was still some asperity in his voice, mixed with gradual acceptance. "He made you smile when no one else could after the car accident. I remember thinking that this stranger came out of nowhere and kept you going when we…I couldn't."

"Oh."

"That's what got me. What I resented about Abel. But I'm glad he was there, Row. It'd have been worse if he wasn't."

"Do you really believe that?"

"Yeah, I do."

"So you're okay with him now?"

"Something like that."

"It's okay that I'll always care about him?"

Reid kissed her. "You wouldn't be you if you didn't."

----

It was goodbye again for Abel and Rowan. Their last night. Amelia, Asher, Abel and Rowan had gone out for dinner, now it was just them, sitting on a bench at a park.

"What are you going to do when you get back home?" Rowan asked.

"Me and Asher still have some organizing to do. I'm thinking about going to school."

They were just dawdling. Both of them avoiding saying what needed to be said.

"Abel."

"Rowan."

They chuckled.

"Go first," he said.

"I don't want to go so long without talking or seeing you again," she confided.

"Me neither."

"But…"

He smiled ruefully, couldn't help but tuck her hair behind her ear. "I think I need a little time." He knew she knew that he was still in love with her.

Rowan's face fell a little, though she nodded. "I understand." She sighed. A lot of platitudes came to her mind. _You'll meet someone else. There's someone out there for you._ Rowan believed them, but it was probably something Abel didn't want to hear right now.

However, there was one thing she needed to say. "I know this isn't enough." She grasped his hand. "But you're always going to have a place in my heart, Abel."

"It is enough, Rowan," he said, meaning it. Abel looked into her eyes. "Your kind of love, no matter what form, is the kind that gives people faith. You touch a life and nothing's ever the same again. And I consider myself damned lucky to have a place in your heart."

Tears filled her eyes, she sniffled. "You came into my life…and gave me back some of the things I lost, too."

"We were good together."

She laughed through her tears. "We were. Will we really keep in touch? I don't want to say so and we never do."

"No, we will," he told her. "I promise."

Rowan leaned her head on his shoulder that night. They watched the moon and stars in quiet, knowing where they stood with each other. And that place was a loving one.

* * *

**One more chapter then it is ET FINI. **

**I hope Abel and Rowan's parting was adequate and not too corny. :D  
**


	30. From This Moment On

**XXX. From This Moment On**

_From this moment as long as I live  
I will love you, I promise you this  
And for your love I'd give my last breath  
From this moment on  
-Shania Twain_

"You look a vision, Rowan!" Sasha, Michael's girlfriend, exclaimed.

The women were gathered in Rowan's bedroom as the finishing touches were put on the bride. Make up was applied, her glossy black hair was wavy, each side neatly pinned back with clips, leaving tendrils wisping around her face. Small diamond earrings adorned her lobes; her Hanging Garden necklace had been taken to the jewelers to be cleaned and shined, which it now did, shining brighter than the top of the Chrysler Building.

Rowan's wedding dress lightly touched the ground. It had a short train; modest silver filigree that criss-crossed in a pattern; thin straps held it up, and a sash pinned with a broach accentuated her hips.

"Thank you," Rowan replied. God, she was nervous. Her wedding day, she hadn't slept a wink last night.

"Sasha!" Michael interrupted, walking into the bedroom with an irritated face, until he saw Rowan. "Oh…_pichouette_…" His moment of endearment was cut short by Princess Agrippina Buttercup's fussing from being tucked in his arm. "She is acting the devil!"

Sasha shook her head, and tsked, taking the small dog from him. Princess was wearing a red dress that matched her owner's, and a rhinestone necklace with matching barrette.

"I am so glad for water-proof mascara," Maria sniffed.

Pinkie nodded although he wasn't wearing any. He took a hankie from his pocket and handed it to Maria.

"You guys can't cry yet!" Rowan said. "The wedding hasn't even started."

"I'm getting them out now before I walk down the aisle," Maria said. She, with Hope and Judy, were wearing Egyptian blue cocktail dresses as bridesmaids.

"Where's Bubbe?" Evelyn asked. "Is she ready?" Odder words were never spoken at a wedding before.

Eyes darted around for the orange tabby cat that was wearing a blue dress with ruffled trim and bow at the waist. She was languidly sitting on Rowan's bed, licking her paws. The three animals had been taken to the groomer's the previous day for a shampoo/condition combo and a hair trim. Their nails had all been clipped, filed and buffed. And then they took a trip to the vet's so they could have their teeth cleaned.

"I think everything's in place here," Meredith announced.

"I should check on Wayne," Beatrice Parry said, "Lord knows his tie always comes 'mysteriously' loose."

"I'll check to see that Glenn isn't talking someone's ear off about something or another," Rosalind added.

----

Reid was mentally telling himself to breathe, just freaking breathe. This was the most nervous he'd ever been in his life. In about twenty minutes he was about to become Rowan's husband. What a word. Husband…

_Nine year old Reid Garwin flattened his hair down with mousse. He was standing on a stool so he could see himself plainly in the mirror. Today was Rowan's eighth birthday and he planned on giving her her first kiss. He didn't want some craphead doing it. Heck no. Reid thought he just might sock anyone in the face who tried. _

"_Reid Garwin, are you ready?" his mother called to him._

"_Yeah, Mom!" he yelled back. The blond boy tugged at the collar of his polo shirt; his mom was making him wear it along with khaki pants. He hated the stupid things but his parents insisted he dress up on these occasions._

_Reid checked his hair one more time. He didn't normally take such pains with it, but today was important._

"Ready?" Joseph asked, coming up behind his one and only son.

Identical sets of blue eyes met in the mirror. They were alone in a room that connected to a larger one. Reid had needed some quiet from the fracas of pre-wedding preparations.

The younger nodded. "Yeah." He fiddled with his tie.

"Here." Joseph knotted Reid's tie. "Took me years to get this right."

Reid smirked. "I'd ask Rowan but I can't see her."

"Ineptitude with ties runs in the family." Joseph laughed lightly. "There."

"Thanks." He double-checked himself in the mirror. Made sure nothing was on his face that wasn't supposed to be. Hair was still neat, trimmed and combed with an actual comb and not his fingers. Suit was free of lint or any harmless but unsightly debris. Shoes remained unblemished.

"You look like I did on my wedding day."

Reid's brow rose. "Yeah?"

His dad nodded. "Scared spitless." Then Joseph sighed.

"We about to have a Moment, Dad?" Reid asked wryly.

"'Fraid so. I won't lie Reid. I had my doubts about your Power every now and again. And all of that…came from fear of losing my son. I don't say it enough, but I love you. I'm proud of the man you've become."

Reid rubbed the back of his neck. "I love you, too, Dad."

They hugged, slapping each others' back. A squeak distracted them. Reid's jacket that was draped over the back of a chair, moved of its own volition, or so it appeared.

"Bruce Lee!" Hunter's voice was heard before he knocked and walked in.

"Right here," Reid said, holding the wayward ferret in one hand and his jacket in another. When Hunter took the ferret, Reid examined his jacket for any damages.

Ernie padded in, sat down, then covered his eyes with his paw in shame. It had been his job to keep track of the ferret.

"It's cool, boy," Reid said, scratching the dog behind his ears. He put his jacket on, buttoned it up. "All right."

The rest of the guys, with their fathers, came in.

"Not bad, Reid," said Caleb.

"The groom's looking pretty good," Tyler said.

"_Pretty_ good, Baby Boy?" Reid retorted. To Caleb: "Not bad?" He snorted. "Damned good's more like it."

They laughed.

"He sounds just like you, Joe," Wayne said.

"Didn't you vomit before you got married?" Joseph reminded.

"Not even marriage can humble you," Pogue quipped as the older generation of Sons bickered.

"Not true," the blond replied. "I just know when I look good."

"Your future bride looks better," Michael interjected as he sauntered into the room. "_Tres jolie_!"

"_C'est vrais_," Gabriel agreed with his twin.

Reid pulled a face, annoyed that everyone else got to see Rowan but him. He wanted to speed up time just a little so he could finally touch her. It'd been several weeks since they made love, and they didn't leave for their honeymoon until tomorrow. Didn't mean he couldn't ravish her tonight, of course. Reid also had a tiny surprise for her. A little something he got inked on the base of his neck.

_Ernie, Bubbe and Tyler the guinea pig were waiting in the foyer of the Danvers' mansion when the Garwins arrived. All three animals wore party hats. _

"_Meredith!" Evelyn greeted. The wives kissed on the cheeks. "Joseph." He kissed Evelyn on the cheek._

"_Impeccable as usual," William Danvers III declared with a wry smirk. "Ravishing," he said to Meredith._

"_Suck up," Joseph muttered._

_The other Sons and their wives came out and greeted them._

"_The kids are in the play room," William told Reid, and the blond boy went off with the animals._

"_How's Rowan?" Meredith asked as she eschewed her winter jacket._

"_Better," Evelyn told her, though concern was still evident on her face._

_Just this past summer Rowan had almost drowned at camp. Evelyn was continuing to kick herself for sending her daughter there. _

"_Reid's here!" Rowan exclaimed just a second before the boy walked in the play room._

"_How do you do that?" Tyler questioned._

"_I heard the doorbell, silly goose!" _

_The three animals preceded Reid's entry and made a beeline for Rowan. She was sitting on a big chair with a blanket over her lap. Bubbe jumped up and curled on her lap, Ernie lay down at her feet and Tyler the guinea pig lodged himself between the dog's forelegs. _

"_Do you need another blanket, Row?" Caleb asked his sister._

"_No thank you, Cay," she replied._

"_Hey, guys," Reid greeted. He smiled at Rowan, gave her a hug. "Happy Birthday."_

"_Thank you."_

"_This again?" Reid asked, gesturing to the TV._

"_It's _Old Yeller_," Rowan told him, although they all knew it._

"_This movie always makes you cry," Pogue said. "I don't know why you're watching it."_

"_I'll turn it off before it gets to that part," Rowan said._

_So the five of them watched until they were called for the birthday feast. They sang Happy Birthday, then opened gifts. Towards the beginning of the evening Rowan was alone in her room so she could put away the gifts she received. The boys were playing video games, and the adults were having drinks, so Reid thought this the perfect opportunity to present his own gift to Rowan._

"Gentlemen!" Glenn clapped his hands loudly. "My wife informs me it's time."

They all shuffled out and met up with their female counterparts at the back of the mansion. Caleb went to Rowan's room. She was sitting on the end of the bed with her hands clasped in her lap. Bubbe was gone, downstairs with the individuals who would walk down the aisle.

"Hey, Lil Bit," Caleb greeted.

Rowan smiled shakily. "Hi, Cay."

He sat down next to her. After a moment, he said, "You want to get out of here? We can go get ice cream."

She laughed; which was what he'd wanted. "I'm nervous."

"I think that's normal."

"Do…do you think that I'll be a good wife, Cay?" she asked timidly, big brown eyes meeting his.

"Of course," he told her, sincerely. He put his arm around her, tugged her to him. "You don't have anything to worry about there."

"And I'll still take care of you, too, Cay. You don't have to worry about that."

He chuckled. "Good."

"Of course…when you and Judy get hitched, she'll bump me out of first place."

"No one will ever bump you out of first, Row. I can have two."

That warmed Rowan's heart. She knew Caleb had been worried about he himself somehow being replaced by Reid; that was impossible though. Like he said, there can be two. "Does that mean you and Judy will get married one day?"

Her older brother's cheeks rouged. He couldn't say he had not thought about it. "I love her."

"A lot?"

"Very much. A lot."

Rowan hugged him. "I'm happy for you. And if you want to tell her, I support you in that."

Caleb winced. "I don't know."

Her brow furrowed. "You don't want her to know?"

Silence. Taking a leap the first time hadn't turned out so well. He'd been rejected for an innate part of him.

"Judy will love you no matter what," Rowan said, picking up on his misgivings.

"Yeah." He half-grinned. "But today's about you. We have to go get you married, little sister."

Rowan stood up; even in her heels the top of her head just barely met her brother's shoulders. She took a deep breath, exhaled.

"I'm getting married," she stated.

----

_I'm getting married_, Reid thought as he stood in front of everyone waiting for the ceremony to start. The guests were getting seated. Some had their pets with them as the invitations had read Pets Welcome. Some had their cats, dogs; some guy had a bird on his shoulder and was feeding it seeds.

The lawn and garden were immaculate, Reid was pretty sure each blade of grass had been cut to the same length. No chair was the slightest bit crooked; everyone and everything was on the ball thanks to Meredith and Evelyn's military management of the wedding.

Roz was here, her twin sons sitting with her; Sasha, with her dog on her lap, sat next to Michael. Raphael Spellman was among the guests, getting sidelong glances from the mortal invitees. Gorman Twoberry wore a tux that looked as if he'd dug it out from an old trunk in the attic. Pinkie and his boyfriend James were sitting in the row behind them.

Before Reid knew it, Evelyn was signaling everyone to quiet. Then the music began. The small crowd hushed and heads turned. First came Tyler and Maria; then Hope and Pogue; Judy and Hunter. There was a collective chuckle as Bubbe gracefully made her way down the aisle with Bruce Lee in his tux by her side. Ernie brought up the rear, tail wagging, doggy-grin on his face. The ring bearing pillow on his back was of white satin, ruffled trim, and a decorative bow with two narrow ribbons that the rings were fastened to. When they reached the gazebo, Bubbe hopped up on stand waiting for her on the girl's side; Bruce Lee got on his on the boy's side, and Ernie sat near Reid.

Cameras were going off the whole time. Professionals had been hired to capture and record the wedding in its entirety.

Another hush fell over the guests, this time more expectant. The wedding march started to play…and Rowan emerged with her arm entwined with Caleb's. The crowd oohed and aahed at the gorgeous bride and Rowan's cheeks turned light rouge. She was almost afraid to meet Reid's eyes, wondering what he thought, hesitant to know for she knew his feelings would be plain in his eyes.

_Reid quickly did a breath check, then sprayed some more Binaca in his mouth for good measure. He knocked lightly on the open door._

"_Hi, Reid," Rowan said. "I just wanted to put my gifts away. How come you're not playing games? "_

_Now he was nervous. Was this a good idea? Would Rowan push him away? Heck, he'd never kissed a girl before. Not on the lips anyway._

"_I just…wanted to tell you happy birthday again," he stalled. _

_She smiled. _

"_And uh…remember…over the summer when you read me your list of things you wanted to do?"_

_Rowan nodded. "Yup." _

"_And you said you wanted to be…kissed?" His hands were sweating in his pockets, his heart going a mile a minute. _

"_It's…still on my list," she said. Her eyes flicked away shyly, then back to his. "You said you would kiss me." _And that I was the prettiest girl you ever knew.

"_I still want to," he blurted. Then rushed to say, "I mean I still will. If you want."_

_Rowan took a tentative step forward. "Really?"_

"_Yeah! I told ya, not just any goober can kiss you, Row."_

_She giggled. "Okay." Pause. "Now?"_

"_Yeah," he replied. _

"_Is it like in the movies?" she asked, lightly tugging on her ear. "I think we have to close our eyes."_

_Reid nodded spastically. "Yeah, yeah. We have to close our eyes."_

Caleb kissed her on the cheek before turning her over to Reid. The blond smiled at her as he took her hands in his and waited for the wedding officiant to speak.

"We are gathered here today…" the man began.

Reid wanted to tell the guy to speed it up, but figured that wouldn't be sanguine. Besides, his lips were stilled and his mouth dry just gazing at Rowan who had never looked more beautiful. In just a few minutes she would be declared his wife, and he her husband. And nothing had ever felt so right.

_Reid and Rowan closed their eyes. He was at least a head and a half taller than her so when he blindly leaned down they knocked foreheads awkwardly. _

"_All right, maybe just one of us should just close our eyes first," Reid suggested. _

_She was blushing, embarrassed that she had flubbed her first attempt at a kiss. "Okay." Rowan closed her eyes._

_The eight year old girl could feel Reid getting closer. Just as he was about to kiss her, a shock startled them._

"_Ow!" she exclaimed, touching her mouth._

_Reid was doing the same. "What the heck was that?" _

"_I don't know!"_

_He huffed. "Let's try this again." Darn it, he was going to kiss Rowan before the day was out._

_Rowan closed her eyes again. She felt Reid hesitate just before his lips met hers. It was a foreign feeling, but it sent tingles from head to toes as a first kiss could innocently do to an eight year old. _

As they stood, each could tell that they were both recalling the same memory of the first time they kissed. Their bond had been sealed then nine years ago; though, neither had known it.

_Rowan's lips were soft, so Reid kept his mouth on hers because he liked it so much. When they separated it felt like it did when you pulled two magnets apart._

"Who is bringing Rowan Faith Danvers to be joined in holy matrimony to Reid Nathaniel Garwin?" the officiant inquired.

Caleb stood up, taking a small breath as he did. His eyes met Reid's, then his sister's. "I am."

_An expression of awe covered both of their faces._

"_Wow," they both said in unison._

"Do you, Reid Nathaniel Garwin, take Rowan Faith Danvers to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold…"

When he was finished, Reid said, clearly, surely, whole-heartedly, "I do."

_They both were quiet for a few moments before Rowan spoke._

"_Reid?"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_I'm going to remember this moment for the rest of my life."_

_His wide grin was goofy in its unveiled happiness, but he didn't care. "Me, too."_

"Do you, Rowan Faith Danvers, take Reid Nathaniel Garwin to be your lawfully wedded husband? To have and to hold…"

Rowan smiled as she said, "I do."

When the officiant got to the exchanging of rings, Ernie's tail began to wag enthusiastically as he sensed his part was coming up. Reid and Rowan exchanged rings, sliding the bands on with loving finality.

"By the power invested in me by the state of Massachusetts," he declared, "I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride."

When their lips met people began to cheer and whistle. The kiss was supposed to be brief, but theirs went on until polite objection stirred.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Reid voiced. "She's my wife now, I can kiss her as much as I want to!"

Laughter filled the air, although Reid's mother shook her head with a surrendering gesture of her hands.

"So, how does it feel?" Reid asked her.

"To be a wife?"

"My wife," he clarified.

"It feels…loving." She smiled. "How does it feel to be my husband?"

"Loving," he repeated. "And damned good."

THE END

* * *

**'Tis the end! It shows up as over 400 pages on Microsoft word. O_O**

**Anywho, I hope you enjoyed the journey here. I had planned to write a little about the reception, but felt it was superfluous in the end.**

**I have a picture in my profile of Reid's new tattoo, and of course, their rings, and Rowan's wedding dress.**

**I plan on going into their college years. Chase is still a loose thread, Caleb still hasn't told Judy about his Power, and Reid and Rowan are bound to hit some speedbumps as a married couple. So, that next installment will be entitled "Binding Faith".**

**Before I write that one though, I'm going to do a one-shot alternate reality story. A what if Rowan had not survived the car crash thing. What would they be like in the future? That one will be called "Faithless". **

**Major thanks to those who stuck with me on this and for the kind reviews, I know it dragged on. :) *bows to you***


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